The Bear and Barnacle

Teddy Lupin likes underwear just fine, thanks very much.

Just because his ridiculously randy roommates back in his Ravenclaw dorm decided it was in their best interests to traipse about a draughty Scottish castle just in case does not mean the then-prefect was in agreement. Of course Teddy knew this probably disappointed his girlfriend when she cornered him in the third floor passage behind the tapestry or between the stacks of musty library books on the 1,001 Uses of Common Moulds & Fungi. But, he'd counter wisely, would she rather his bits froze off before anything interesting happened?

He thought not.

And honestly, Teddy thought that was the last he'd ever really hear about the underwear thing.

( It wasn't until a few weeks later... )

Teddy Lupin didn't know what to think when he received the slip of paper with a name scribbled on it.

The Joker. Not a Joker but the. That changed things. His first thought was that he wished he had access to George's joke shop but he didn't dwell on what if's for very long; it wouldn't do any good and he knew it. Thankfully, Grandpa Weasley had sparked an interest in the Muggle World in the young Metamorphmagus and Nana Andy had reminded him that her Ted was Muggleborn.

And what did Teddy discover on his jaunts through Muggle London? Fantastic things called films. Televisions and their channels. Silly fantasy novels that got magic all wrong but were amusing, nonetheless. But the discovery that helped him the most in this time of need?

Comics. Or, more accurately, graphic novels.

So it's with some measure of pride and a feeling of a Job Well Done that Teddy does up the small stack in plain wrapping paper and some twine. He leaves it on the bar counter with a note attached.

( TO: The Joker (if you're who I think you are). )

Teddy was at the table of the small but cosy flat he shared with Victoire, wand drawn and expression thoughtful. He liked to help carve pumpkins with the Weasleys during previous Halloweens and it was a practice in precision with magic, besides.

One pumpkin sat before him, clean and bare, as the young man thought of what to do this year. But then he smiled, raised his wand again and began, swishing and flicking, pointing and a bit of prodding. The pile of shavings and chunks was levitated off to one side as he worked. Teddy leaned close as he worked the more delicate details, tracing the surface of the pumpkin with his wandtip, lightly scoring it. At last, he finished with a finalising tap and it immediately started to glow from within.

He broke into a pleased grin, and hoped dear old Dad wouldn't mind the pumpkin tonight.

Professor McGonagall had told them time travel wasn’t unusual in this place he privately thought of as Supernatural Portal Posing As Margate (SPPAM, for short).

When he and Victoire had met the Professor on the beach upon arrival, he wanted more answers than questions—it went against his Ravenclaw nature to not interrogate the unusual lack of knowledge Minerva had about Octavia. But he suspected something else; and at the time he certainly wasn’t about to say that the concept of alternate timestreams had been discussed among him and his more eccentric colleagues. He suspects that this could be a good example of it. But that theory’s a stretch, even for the young man who enjoys dabbling in the stuff better left to Unspeakables.

( First and foremost, Teddy Remus Lupin has always been fascinated with history. )

Victoire finishes packing the small basket with the last apple as well as a hunk of fresh goat cheese and bread, placing them atop the cold chicken. After a moment of thought, she opens a cupboard and takes out a small bottle of wine and puts that in as well.

Tall and slightly shaggy-haired, Teddy lingers by the open doorway, face tipped to the sun and breeze with a beach blanket draped across his arm as he waits. He glances back at his girlfriend with a raised brow at the wine. "Isn't that your dad's?"

( More than Bill's wine is about to go missing. )