No, I'm not get off my lawn. It's more like "Hey, you left a viking mark burned in it" or "Elrond and the Indiana Jones from Outer Space left it swampy" or "Grape Ape just blasted the shit out of everything."
No pubes/spit/bodilysubstances were detected, because gross, and my cholesterol is great. Only not so much. Anyway, I don't know what happened to you last time with your whole living situation, but let's just say the bar's set pretty low while you're here. No one's winning that limbo contest.
Guess what? There's a reason why I'm not a pet owner. Other you probably left this universe's Build-a-BearRaccoon out in space somewhere when this you showed up. If he makes it back with the talking tree (that's basically a poster-child for not starting forest fires), betcha he's gonna be pissed. Captain.