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LMOM: An Intimate Alliance of Contradictions, part 28/?? (Remus/Peter, Remus/Severus)
Title: An Intimate Alliance of Contradictions, part 28/?? (I'm going to be writing into June for sure, at this point)
Rating: R
Characters/Pairing (this part): Remus/Severus
Characters/Pairing (overall fic): Remus/Peter, Remus/Severus
Summary: "It would take too long to explain the intimate alliance of contradictions in human nature which makes love itself wear at times the desperate shape of betrayal. And perhaps there is no possible explanation." ~ Joseph Conrad
Kinks/Warnings: finger sucking, angst
Overall warnings: Angst
Challenge: LMOM '08, day thirty
Word Count: 1600-ish
Notes: POA era. Thanks so so much to innerslytherin and mnemosyne_1 for the beta-reading!

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l Part 6 l Part 7 l Part 8 l Part 9 l Part 10 l Part 11 l Part 12 l Part 13 l Part 14 l Part 15 l Part 16 l Part 17 l Part 18 l Part 19 l Part 20 l Part 21 l Part 22 l Part 23 l Part 24 l Part 25 l Part 26 l Part 27 l Part 28


Remus remembered falling asleep on his back, on his own side of Severus' bed. When he woke, he was in a tangle of limbs, black, oily hair strewn across his chin, and Severus' heavy breathing against his neck. He instantly felt both ridiculously happy and guilty at the same time. Which was stupid, he knew. Peter was twelve years dead, and Severus was a different man now. Still, Remus awakened with both an awesome feeling of contentment and the instant realisation that there might have been something even deeper that had allowed him to hold Severus at such distance and treat him as Severus had once treated him.

Severus behaved as though it were perfectly normal to wake the way they did. He made no mention of how they'd been wrapped in the other one's arms. Severus Floo-called breakfast to his chambers, and they ate in peaceful silence until Severus had to go teach.

Remus didn't have classes until after noon, so he walked right off the school grounds and Apparated to Loch Ness. He had been meaning to go on Halloween, anyway, which was drawing near enough now.

He sat on a large stone near the water and stared at the lake. "I know you don't like him. If it makes you feel any better, he still seems to dislike you." Remus breathed a laugh and tucked his knees up against his chest for warmth. "Look, do you remember when I said he was more talk than anything else?" he asked the lake. "Well, it was the truth. And he's changed now, Pete." He automatically held up his hands, as if he expected the lake to protest, and said quickly, "I know. You were right about him being a Death Eater. You were right, okay? But he's on the right side now. He made the right choice in the end, and that's the most important part, isn't it? And anyway, I'm not going to let him hurt me again. That should be what matters most to you, right? I have to move on, and you should be happy as long as I am."

Remus paused and stared at the lake for a long moment, then whispered, "I want to be happy. I haven't really had that since you died, Pete. I need..." Remus trailed off, closing his eyes as tears rolled slowly down his cheeks. He went silent for a bit, just feeling the wind brush through his hair and listening to the dead leaves blow across the ground.

"Just give me some sort of sign," he asked, opening his eyes again and staring at the lake. It didn't answer. Remus watched the water's surface ripple in the breeze for a long moment, then sighed and shook his head. "It's been twelve years. You're probably not even listening to me anymore," he muttered, pushing off the stone to walk to the edge of the water. He dropped a few wildflowers he'd picked at the school onto its glassy surface.

"Sirius is back. I didn't know if you knew," he whispered. "I'm safe in the castle. So is Harry." A wistful smile curved Remus' lips then. "He was so little when you knew him. You wouldn't believe it if you saw him now. He's so much like James that I sometimes forget that I'm not a teenager anymore." Of course, Harry's similarity to James drove Severus mad, but Remus swallowed that. "I've got to go back," he said finally, swallowing that he loved Peter because Peter knew that by now.





It was funny that Remus still didn't know quite where he and Severus stood. Well, actually, he thought he did. After waking up together how they had, Remus supposed it was silly to feel awkward about being with Severus. Still, it felt so new that Remus didn't know what to do with it. He'd gained so much confidence with other men over the years, had even displayed it with Severus upon first returning to school, but this was different. It was somehow more fragile.

Remus and Severus went back to their daily routines, neither one of them really acknowledging that anything had changed, even though it had. Remus allowed this to go on for exactly four days before he made his way to the dungeons at tea time. Severus had his nose buried in a book, and he was slumped behind a small work table that had been cleared to make room for tea and scones with jam and clotted cream. Remus noticed there were two teacups, but one was empty and flipped right side down.

"Hello," he said, "D'you mind if I join you?"

Severus peered over his book. With a tiny flick of his wrist, the teacup nearest Remus righted itself, and the teapot floated over to fill it.

Remus drew a chair up to the opposite side of the work table Severus was sitting at, and started adding sugar to his tea. "Why don't you ever take tea with the other professors?" he asked conversationally.

"Have you heard some of the drivel they consider intelligent conversation, Lupin?" Severus asked, arching a brow.

"I had a rather interesting discussion just this morning with Charity. Did you know Vincent Price just passed away?" Remus said, picking up a scone and taking a bite.

Severus gave him a look, his brows creasing. The look implied that was exactly the sort of conversation Severus found taxing. After a moment, he just shook his head. "For every semi-interesting conversation they can mustre, you will be subjected tenfold to Sybill telling you you're going to be killed by a hairpin, or the oaf cornering you in a discussion of the latest deadly beast the headmaster has allowed onto the school grounds."

Remus frowned, partly because that sounded a little too much like a direct insult for comfort, but also because Severus had referred to Hagrid as "the oaf." "Hagrid's been here for some time."

"Yes, but now that he's teaching, he actually thinks he's important."

Remus' frown deepened. "What did you mean by the latest deadly beast the Headmaster has allowed?" Remus asked sulkily, taking another bite of his scone. When he looked back up, Severus was was giving him a reproachful look. "Sorry," Remus muttered.

"I won't deny that if there was no Wolfsbane, I would be steadfastly against your appointment here," Severus said bluntly. "As it is, however, it is a non-issue."

Remus pursed his lips, not really sure how to respond. It wasn't as though he could try to argue he wasn't dangerous, even now. He went quiet and chewed his scone thoughtfully, not unaware of the way Severus was still watching him from over his teacup. He wondered if these awkward silences were always going to be awkward, or it just happened that lately they had been. Severus really didn't say a whole lot most of the time, so it would stand to reason that the silences that were not preceded by awkward conversation would grow comfortable. It occurred to Remus that he'd never even had the opportunity to share silences with Severus when they were younger.

Remus was lost in thought when Severus reached across the table and curled his fingers around Remus' wrist. Remus glanced up, surprised, as Severus pulled Remus' hand across the table and sucked a bit of jam off the tip of his finger. Remus swallowed hard at the feel of Severus' tongue curving around the pad of his finger, but even after the jam was cleaned off, Severus didn't let go of his hand.

"Severus," Remus breathed, but Severus just held his gaze and took Remus' finger into his mouth fully. Remus let out a shuddery breath, and glanced back to make sure he'd shut the door as his cock pulsed and began to take notice of what Severus was doing. "Oh, God," Remus whispered. Severus drew his lips back and licked the tip of Remus' finger, and Remus let his eyes flutter shut. This shouldn't feel as good as it did, but Remus squirmed in his seat, his prick straining against the fabric of his pants.

It was more than just imagining that Severus was doing the same thing lower, though that was certainly part of it. It was a turn-on to know that Severus seemed to be getting pleasure from doing something so comparatively innocent. Remus sucked in a sharp breath when Severus scraped his teeth lightly from Remus' knuckle to his fingertip, and a jolt of lust ran through him that went straight to his prick.

Remus reached down and pressed his hand to his groin, giving his cock some of the friction it needed as Severus sucked hard. His tongue was massaging Remus' finger and Remus moaned, his hips jerking. "You're wicked," he panted, pressing down with his hand and thrusting as Severus made an amused noise in the back of his throat. Remus felt the vibration against the tip of his finger, which didn't do nearly as much as it would have around his cock, but the knowledge of what that noise would have done to him wrenched another moan from Remus. He jerked his hips against his hand again and came with a little cry as Severus' teeth scraped his skin once more.

Severus gently let go of Remus' hand, but didn't say anything, and Remus was too relaxed to open his eyes at first. Once he finally recovered, he glanced over at Severus, who had abandoned his tea in favour of his book again. He didn't seem to be paying any notice to Remus, though Remus recognised the smug curve to Severus' lips.

"Good book?" Remus asked dryly, attempting to straighten in his chair, even though he knew he was flushed.

"Very," Severus replied, his voice laced with amusement.

"Enjoy that?"

"Not as much as you did, apparently."

Remus tried to pull on a frown, but all he could manage was a grin, badly hidden behind his teacup.


Part 29