Entry tags:

#lmom 2008, author: severity_softly, kink: biting, kink: dirty talk, remus/peter pettigrew, remus/severus

LMOM: An Intimate Alliance of Contradictions, part 3/31 (Remus/Peter, Remus/Severus)
Title: An Intimate Alliance of Contradictions, part 3/31 (I hope)
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairing (this part): Remus/Severus, Remus/Peter UST
Characters/Pairing (overall fic): Remus/Peter, Remus/Severus
Kinks/Warnings: Wall sex, mild biting, mild dirty talk
Overall warnings: Angst
Challenge: LMOM '08, day three
Word Count: 2300-ish
Notes: This part is set in 7th year. I plan to span 7th year to POA, keep this canon compliant, and, if it doesn't become a jumbled mess, it may turn out more plot with porn than truly porny. We'll see. Thanks so so much to innerslytherin for inspiring the Remus/Peter love, and for the speed beta-reading. :) Title from the quote "It would take too long to explain the intimate alliance of contradictions in human nature which makes love itself wear at times the desperate shape of betrayal. And perhaps there is no possible explanation," by Joseph Conrad

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3


Three weeks passed after stepping off the Hogwarts Express before Snape summoned Remus this year. Their meetings had grown almost frequent near the end of the last, then Remus had predictably not heard a word over the summer, but they were becoming a more dependable release for Remus again. Remus wadded the note in Snape's scratchy handwriting into a ball and shoved it in his pocket, then swatted an origami bird when it hit him in the back of the head.

Peter giggled behind him and Remus turned a mock glare on him. "Oi," he said, but then he just grinned and snatched the bird out of the air. It flapped its paper wings uselessly under his thumb. "Who folded this?" he asked, glancing behind Peter for James and Sirius, and then realising belatedly that if James and Sirius were here, they would have been standing in front of Peter, not behind him.

Peter just shrugged and came to a stop in front of Remus maybe a little too close, then stepped back. "Dunno. It was floating down the hallway already, I just sent it your way."

"Thanks ever so much," Remus said, then let the wriggling parchment free of his grasp. It hovered in front of Peter's face for a moment and then flew off, and Remus found his eyes slipping to Peter's mouth while Peter was distracted.

When Remus looked back up, Peter was eying him curiously. "What were you frowning about just then?"

Remus blinked for a moment, trying to think back. Had he been frowning? He slung his arm over Peter's shoulders to walk them out of the corridor, and fought a grin at how Peter tensed for a moment. It wasn't as though they never touched each other before, but ever since Peter had developed his fascination for Remus, it seemed like Peter always had a little private moment of panic each time Remus touched him now. He would relax again, after a moment, but it was there.

Sometimes, Remus convinced himself he was helping Peter with the little things he did, trying to get Peter to just face that he was gay once and for all. Most of the time, though, Remus was all too aware of the way his hand on Peter's shoulder wanted to 'slip' lower, or the way he wanted to brush Peter's fringe away from his face in a way that was more than friendly. It was funny, but after their shared wanking (well, as shared as it could be when one partner doesn't know it's happening), Remus sometimes felt like he and Peter were already sleeping together, and he had to remind himself how to behave.

"I was frowning?" he asked, after Peter relaxed under his arm... and leaned into his touch.

"Yeah, just when I walked up. What was that note?" Peter asked.

"Potions notes. I was just thinking about potions," Remus said quickly, then smiled down at Peter. They were close. It wasn't like they hadn't ever been this close before, but Peter's hair smelled like cinnamon apples, and it felt almost natural to want to lean in and kiss him. He watched Peter's expression change before noticing his hand stroking Peter's shoulder. Merlin, he couldn't help himself!

"Why'd you crumple your notes up and put them in your pocket?" Peter asked, and though Remus had stopped his hand, Remus could feel that Peter had gone tense again.

"Oi, you two, where are you running off without us?"

In a matter of seconds, Sirius had his arm draped around Remus, who still had his arm draped over Peter, and James was standing on the other side of Peter, grinning. Remus hadn't even seen them show up, but he was equal parts relieved and disappointed. James started going on about Quidditch, but Remus wasn't really paying attention. He was watching the way Peter still tried to play along like he still really liked Quiditch, even though Remus didn't think Peter still did after he'd not been picked to be on the team.

They settled in their usual spot on the grounds and lazed about for a bit. Sirius lit them all cigarettes with a new spell he'd learned, and James bored them all with more stories about Lily's friends. After a time, Remus pushed himself up and grabbed his bag. "Runes homework," he said, which was his usual excuse to go see Severus. None of the rest of them had taken N.E.W.T. level runes, and none of them paid enough attention to each other's marks to notice if all of Remus' "extra studying" was paying off.

He was unsurprised, when he slipped into the empty classroom Severus had mentioned on his note, that Severus shoved him against the wall as soon as he closed the door.

"You smell like smoke," Severus whispered harshly.

"Hello, Severus. I'm fine, thanks. You?" Remus said, and managed to strip off his bag with Severus pressed against him. His fingers slid under Severus' shirt and vest to feel the cool, too-thin body he knew so well. When Severus didn't reply, unless you counted pulling Remus' shirt off over his head a reply, Remus said, "Perhaps you should take up smoking."

"Why? So I can stink like ash and give your friends another reason to make fun of me?"

Clothes came off quickly, like they always did. Remus often tried for small talk, but it usually didn't work, and for some reason Remus didn't have the energy today, and soon Remus' clothes were hanging open and Severus' trousers and pants were around his ankles. Severus pressed his length into Remus' hip and Remus gasped, his fingers squeezing Severus' arse.

"Tell me you want me to fuck you, Lupin."

Remus thought he knew why Severus did this. He thought Severus liked the idea that James and Sirius' friends would fuck their biggest enemy. That Remus would want to do that behind his friend's backs. It seemed the sort of thing that might get Snape going. Still, Remus couldn't deny he liked it. Part of him liked how dirty this felt. Even if he sometimes wished there was more to it, there was nothing for that.

"Fuck me," Remus breathed, and Severus hooked one of Remus' knees over his elbow.

"Tell me you want it," Severus whispered, his lips ghosting over Remus' jaw.

"I want it," Remus murmured. "I want you to fuck me." His eyes fluttered shut, and Remus felt Severus do a lubrication spell that made him shiver. He opened his eyes and met Severus' intense gaze. Merlin, Severus might not have been the most attractive bloke ever, but he was sexy like this, looking at Remus with hunger in his eyes.

"You want me to have you," Severus said, the head of his cock positioned almost against Remus' entrance.

Remus shifted, turning his hips to try to get the angle right, but Severus pressed him into the wall, and then lifted his other leg. Remus flung his arms back against the wall to brace himself, eyes flying open and breath going ragged, but Severus held him quite securely. He nodded, looking at Severus from under his lashes. "Have me," he gasped, and Severus sunk into him, taking him in one swift thrust.

Remus cried out, but Severus worked his hips into a driving rhythm that made Remus' toes curl and pushed whimpers and moans from Remus with every thrust. "Fuck!" Remus gasped.

"Not such a beast, are you," Severus hissed, "Not very fucking impressive, letting me fuck you like you were a whore."

Remus groaned, incapable of speech, but he felt safer after Severus settled their bodies moving together. He reached up from the wall and took his cock into his hand, squeezing, and trying to stroke himself in rhythm with Severus' thrusts.

"You like it, too," Severus continued, and he bit at Remus' throat, hard enough to leave marks that Remus would have to hide with a Glamour.

Remus dropped his head back and bared his neck, whimpering a bit. "Don't want to be impressive," Remus finally whispered, but he didn't deny that he liked it. He loved the way Severus felt like this, even though it sort of felt wrong, too. There was no denying it when he kept coming back for me. There was no denying it when Severus' length was driving into him, and his body was tensing with release.

"Fool," Severus groaned, but it was becoming difficult for either of them to speak, and even Severus was starting to make involuntary noises of need.

Severus shifted and hit that spot, and Remus cried out again and then he came between them, his body shuddering and clenching around Severus. A moment later and Severus was coming, too, slumping against Remus and panting hard against his neck.

Severus usually wouldn't talk afterward, and this time was no exception. He pulled out after he caught his breath and let Remus down to his feet, then started to pick up his clothes as Remus did a cleaning charm on them both. Remus always wanted to talk, but he was never quite sure what to say, so he usually just gave Severus a smile that was never returned, and said "goodbye."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~


Peter didn't wank tonight. Or if he did, Remus didn't hear any whispered 'Moony's, like he normally did. In spite of his earlier orgasm, Remus couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed at that. Perhaps when Peter had promised himself it was the last time the night before, he'd meant it. Remus sighed and shifted, closing his eyes to welcome sleep that he assumed would be harder in coming tonight, without the aid of the warmth of satiation. He wasn't sure how long had passed, but his eyelids began to get heavy, eventually, and it was just before he fell asleep that he heard it.

"Moony?"

Peter was starting a bit late, but Remus only smiled groggily, eyes still closed, and hooked his thumb in his pyjama bottoms under the covers. He started to push them down and then the bed dipped. Remus' eyes flew open, and he jerked his hand out of his pants, trying to ignore his already interested cock. He looked up to see Peter standing over his bed, curtain drawn back a bit. He had his knee on the mattress and was wearing an expression Remus couldn't read, but thankfully, he hadn't seemed to notice what Remus was about to do.

"I can't sleep," Peter whispered.

Through the haze of almost-sleep, Remus was starting to piece things together. Peter looked hopeful and terrified.

"Budge over, would you?"

A thrill of panic washed over Remus, mixed with desire. Was Peter really about to join him in bed? It wasn't uncommon for the Marauders to kip on each others beds during the day, when study sessions turned to dream sessions instead, but never in the middle of the night. Remus obeyed right away and scooted until Peter had room to lay next to him. After some shifting Peter settled in a position that looked nearly uncomfortable, half curled in on himself, and started chewing his thumbnail.

It was obvious just from that that Peter was not here to shag, or even snog. "What's wrong?" Remus asked after a moment.

Peter made a weird shrugging gesture, and frowned to himself. "Do you ever wish things would stop changing? I mean, everything's changing. We'll be out of here for good in less than a year. But sometimes things don't change and maybe they should, and sometimes things change that you don't want to change."

Remus wanted to hug him, and he suddenly felt overwhelmingly guilty that he'd been pushing Peter's buttons on purpose when he could see now how worried Peter looked. "Can't stop change," he said, and sighed. His fingers itched to touch Peter. "And sometimes things change for a reason, even if we don't understand it at first. And... even if it's scary..." Remus sucked in a breath, but finished before he thought better of it. Peter needed to hear it. "Even if it's scary, it doesn't make you a bad person."

Remus regretted saying it as soon as the words were out of is mouth, as Peter's brows drew together sharply. He looked at Remus, his expression somewhere between shock and anger. "What are you on about?!" he hissed, and Remus had to shush him.

"Nothing, sorry, still asleep," Remus backpedaled, even though he was obviously not asleep, then reached up impulsively to sooth Peter, brushing his fingers through Peter's fringe.

Peter closed his eyes and froze, still frowning deeply. And then time seemed to stand still for a few moments, until Peter finally whispered, "How do you know?"

Remus blinked. Oh. Was that an admission? "Does that matter?" Remus breathed.

Peter was quiet for another moment, utterly still under Remus' gentle hand. "Are you... going to kiss me? I thought, earlier, when you..."

God. Remus's heart skipped a few times, and it took most of his will not to lean in and brush his lips against Peter's. Except that if he was going to kiss Peter, he didn't think Peter should be frowning like that when it happened. He waited a moment, and when it seemed Peter had just stopped talking, he replied, "Do you want me to?"

Peter made a funny squeaking noise, but then just fell silent for a long time again, and Remus just watched him, drawing his hand out of Peter's hair to trail a fingertip along Peter's jaw, hoping wildly that Peter would open his eyes and smile at him. After a while, Peter drew a shuddery breath and smoothed his expression out, though he still didn't open his eyes. "No," he whispered.

Remus' heart sank, but he ignored the squeezing feeling in his chest and withdrew his hand entirely. "I'm sorry."

Peter seemed to have clamped down, and he shook his head jerkily. "'m'sorry I woke you up." He opened his eyes, but didn't look at Remus, and when Peter pushed out of the bed, Remus knew he'd blown his only chance.


Part 4