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LMOM: An Intimate Alliance of Contradictions, part 27/?? (Remus/Peter, Remus/Severus)
Title: An Intimate Alliance of Contradictions, part 27/?? (I'm going to be writing into June for sure, at this point)
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairing (this part): Remus/Severus
Characters/Pairing (overall fic): Remus/Peter, Remus/Severus
Summary: "It would take too long to explain the intimate alliance of contradictions in human nature which makes love itself wear at times the desperate shape of betrayal. And perhaps there is no possible explanation." ~ Joseph Conrad
Kinks/Warnings: sex toys, fairly vanilla
Overall warnings: Angst
Challenge: LMOM '08, day twenty-nine
Word Count: 2400-ish
Notes: POA era. Thanks so so much to innerslytherin for the beta-reading!

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l Part 6 l Part 7 l Part 8 l Part 9 l Part 10 l Part 11 l Part 12 l Part 13 l Part 14 l Part 15 l Part 16 l Part 17 l Part 18 l Part 19 l Part 20 l Part 21 l Part 22 l Part 23 l Part 24 l Part 25 l Part 26 l Part 27


It was difficult to pay attention during the meeting. Remus found himself wanting to watch Severus, who was wearing the toy underneath his clothes. Not only was it difficult to pay attention, it was even harder not to become aroused at the idea. Severus was sitting just as stiffly as usual, making biting remarks every so often, and treating the entire thing as if it were beneath him, tending to a werewolf's needs, and only Remus knew what Severus had allowed that werewolf to do to him earlier that evening.

Severus didn't come back to Remus' chambers after the staff meeting. It would have been easy enough to dismiss that, if it weren't for the fact that Severus stopped making personal visits to deliver the Wolfsbane as well. For the remainder of the week leading up to the full moon, Remus had come back to his chambers in the evenings to find the potion left on his desk under a stasis charm.

He'd pushed too far. He realised this too late, of course, and he wasn't entirely certain what to do about it. He'd been trying to manipulate the situation with Severus, after all. In his more vindictive moments, Remus thought it was fitting payback for being so easily chucked when they were students, but Remus hadn't really intended it to be that way. Or had he?

With the exception of Frank, emotionless sex had become such habit that Remus really hadn't stopped to consider what he was doing with Severus, beyond the thought that he refused to allow Severus the upper hand, refused to let Severus hurt him again. Even though Remus had had Peter back when they were students, what Severus did had still stung.

The full moon came and went, and for the first time in Remus' life, Remus was allowed reprise from the wolf. Not its physical form, of course, and while that part was still painful, Remus was awed at having the freedom to not worry about hurting anyone, or hurting himself more than he already was hurt. He'd been so happy the morning after, he hardly noticed the pain when Severus wrapped him in a blanket and put him in bed.

"You're brilliant," Remus mumbled, reaching up to touch Severus' cheek. "Absolutely bloody brilliant."

Severus turned his head out of the touch and left Remus to sleep, and for the following week, Severus avoided Remus' gaze as often as it was possible to do. It wasn't until Remus went to Severus' chambers at the end of the week that Severus actually looked at him.

Remus stepped up to Severus' desk, where Severus sat scribbling furious Ts and Ds on student essays, and murmured, "Severus."

Severus glanced up, then folded his arms over his chest and sat back in his chair, eying Remus warily.

Remus suddenly realised he didn't know what to say. He shifted on his feet. "Are you angry with me?" he asked, knowing full well what the answer was.

"Why would I be?" Severus said, his tone curt.

"You know why," Remus said, then had the distinct feeling they'd had this conversation before, many years ago when Severus had realised Remus was shagging someone other than him.

"I'm not angry, Lupin. I should have expected as much from you. Lost all your friends, and now you compensate for them. No one around to humiliate old Snivellus anymore, so you'll pick up the slack."

Remus frowned deeply, staring at the way Severus' eyes were narrowed at him. "What are you talking about?" he demanded, his voice rising, and when it did, Severus rose from his seat.

"If not that, then this is some sort of retribution," Severus accused.

Remus sputtered, then set his jaw. "Retribution?! For what?!"

"For wounding your fragile sensibilities when we were young?" Severus suggested, his tone mocking.

"Wounding me?!" Remus pinched the bridge of his nose and paced away, but Severus stayed perfectly still, watching Remus. "I had someone else!" Remus shouted. "You didn't--"

"Someone who didn't satisfy you as I did, if you gave me the opportunity to have you for myself first," Severus hissed, cutting Remus off.

It had been true at the time, but now the insult to Remus' dead lover stung worse than anything else Severus had said. "Fuck you!" Remus hissed. "At least Peter didn't call me names. He didn't treat me like I meant nothing to him! He was kind and gentle!"

Remus stopped shouting when the look on Severus' face changed abruptly. The lines of anger slid into nothing, Severus' expression going blank. "Pettigrew?" Severus said.

"Yes, Peter!" Remus snarled, still feeling angry even if he didn't quite understand Severus' reaction. He watched as Severus stared at him for another moment, and then sank back into his seat. "What?" Remus asked. He didn't very much appreciate the way Severus looked right now. He knew Severus hadn't liked any of the Marauders, but people were always especially hard on Peter.

Severus just shook his head, and Remus clenched his teeth. "What is it, Severus? You told me I had no self-respect, well now I do. It took me this long, but there is it. You thought you could get away with treating me like a plaything, but you're angry when I do the same, then--"

"Were you not the least displeased with our previous arrangement, Lupin?" Severus cut in, raising his voice again.

"Of course I was!" Remus shouted again. "I wanted something more than just a fuck from you, Severus!"

Severus looked up and caught Remus' gaze, and Remus had to swallow hard before his heart jumped out of his throat. Oh. Remus felt his anger leave him in a flash, draining away, but it was replaced with something much more difficult to define. Severus wanted more? It seemed that way, at least. It was as if Remus had been handed something he'd wanted for so long, but now he didn't know what to do with it. Underneath that, there was still a lingering feeling of resentment for the way Severus had looked when Remus brought Peter up, but Remus knew better than to think that Severus' feelings on the other Marauders would have changed over the years.

When Remus looked back up, Severus was still staring at him. Remus wasn't quite sure what to say. "I'll have my toy back then," he murmured.

"Can't," Severus said.

Remus glanced up. Severus still had him fixed with that same look.

"Why?" Remus asked.

"I'm wearing it."

Remus blinked at Severus for a moment, as Severus' eyes lit from within. There was a sudden jolt of arousal that went through Remus. Severus had liked what Remus had done, he simply hadn't like the implications and possible consequences of continuing to let Remus dominate him as he was.

"You're... this whole time?" Remus breathed.

"No. I slipped it in while you were looking the other way," Severus said, giving Remus a flat look.

Remus barely noticed the tone. Severus wanted him. He'd sat there fighting with Remus and had Remus' toy inside him the whole time. "Bloody hell," Remus whispered, and Severus smirked.

"Come here, Lupin," Severus said, standing from his chair and walking deeper into his chambers. Remus obeyed, and followed Severus to his bed. "Strip."

"No, you," Remus said, but his gaze was heated on Severus now, and Severus only blinked at him for a moment before he started to pull open the buttons of his shirt, baring his chest and letting his shirt flutter to the floor. He didn't move to his trousers, though. He cocked his head at Remus, and Remus swallowed and started to strip his shirt off as well.

He licked his lips, noticing the bulge that was already evident beneath Severus' trousers, then smirked and mimicked the gesture Severus had used just moments before, inclining his head. Your turn. Severus' eyes were busy traveling the expanse of scars over Remus' chest, but he must have seen the gesture from the corner of his eyes, because he started unfastening his trousers then. Remus could tell he was moving purposefully slowly, revealing the faint trail of hair that stretched from Severus' navel to his groin. Remus didn't remember that from when they were teenagers, and he had to force himself not to press his face against it.

When Severus dropped his trousers to the floor, Remus smiled lightly at the way Severus wasn't wearing any pants. "Were you expecting me?"

"Of course not," Severus replied, standing naked and hard in front of Remus. Remus had to remind himself to reciprocate and pull off his own trousers and pants, and then he closed the gap between them, kissing Severus deeply and pressing their bodies together so that their cocks rubbed against each other.

He slid his hands down Severus' back, over the curve of his arse, and ran the pads of his fingers over the rubbery base of the toy buried inside Severus. "Fuck," he breathed, a new shock of lust washing over him at feeling it there. He pushed a little against it, and Severus made a needy noise.

Remus was extremely aware of the way Severus' body felt against his. Remus hadn't seen Severus naked in fifteen years. Not really. All he'd been getting lately were glimpses. Remus drew his tongue along Severus' jaw and moved one hand to stroke down Severus' chest. His mouth followed his hand, licking and nipping over Severus' chest, sucking at Severus' nipple. He slid down until he was on his knees in front of Severus, unable to keep from sliding his hand between Severus' legs to brush the hilt of the toy inside Severus again.

Somehow, it made him feel powerful to know that Severus had been wearing it, Merlin only knew how often, since that staff meeting, even when Severus had been angry at him. Still, Remus felt almost as though he should offer himself right now, perhaps to make up for having been so manipulative. Remus clasped his hands behind his back in a gesture of submission and tilted his head back to meet Severus' gaze. God, he was beautiful. Remus bent to lick the proud cock in front of him while eying the long expanse of Severus' torso and chest.

Severus drew a slender finger down the side of Remus' face and shook his head. "I want to fuck you," he whispered.

Remus licked his lips and ducked his head, swallowing Severus' cock with a moan. Remus curled his own fingers around his cock and squeezed, whimpering around Severus' prick. He couldn't help it. He wanted to taste, and he drew his tongue over the head of Severus' cock, sucking lightly at it before pulling away with the taste of Severus' precome coating his tongue.

He pushed to his feet and kissed Severus, then tugged them both to the bed, crawling onto it once he reached it. Severus looked a little flushed from arousal, and his eyes traveled Remus hungrily before he crawled on top of Remus, pressing their bodies together. he kissed Remus and thrust against him, and Remus arched back against the bed and curled his fingers into Severus' back. "You're leaving the toy in," Remus said, and it was more of an order than it sounded, though Severus hadn't made any more to take the toy out at all. "Fuck me," Remus said, and this time the tone was clear.

Severus shifted and did a lubrication spell, then pushed into Remus hard enough for Remus to cry out, but still he demanded, "Harder!"

Severus' hips began to moved then, their rhythm demanding, and Severus pushed back, changing his angle a little until his thrusts were brushing over Remus' prostate. Remus gasped, excitement racing through him again, and when he opened his eyes, Severus was watching him, just like he always had when they were younger. Remus hummed with pleasure, pivotting his hips against Severus' as Severus moved until his body was thrumming with need.

Severus curled his fingers around Remus' cock, stroking in time with his thrusts, and leaned down, kissing Remus' lips and jaw and neck, laving his tongue over Remus' skin until Remus was writhing with need under him.

Remus slid his fingers down Severus' back again and pushed at the toy, which caused Severus to moan against Remus' skin. That was all it took to send Remus over the edge, and he came over Severus' hand, panting as Severus' thrusts grew harder. Severus lost his rhythm and groaned as he came, and Remus' fingers felt the toy move as Severus clenched around it. Then Severus slumped on top of him, breathing heavily against Remus' neck.

For a while they just lay there, their bodies rising and falling against each other as they caught their breath. This on its own was far different from the way it had been when they were younger. Remus couldn't swallow the fear that Severus would eventually move off of him and send Remus away, but he didn't. Remus couldn't help but let his mind wander to the way Severus had looked at him, the way not a single insult had passed his lips.

After a moment, Severus pulled out and rolled onto his back next to Remus, lacing his hands behind his head and lying there with his eyes closed. Remus glanced over at him, studying the soft, relaxed lines of Severus' face. "How many lovers did you have after me?" Remus whispered.

Severus didn't answer for a moment. He drew a deep breath, and shifted a little bit on the mattress, then said, "One."

"One?" Remus asked, drawing his hand down Severus' side experimentally. Severus didn't pull away, and he didn't answer either. Remus wondered if "one" was truly just one, considering Remus, if he was so inclined, could choose to only count Peter and Frank as true lovers.

When the silence stretched for a while, Remus yawned and rolled to his side, wondering how Severus would react if he draped his arm over Severus' chest.

"What happened?"

"He died in 1979," Severus said quickly, his tone a bit more curt this time.

"You haven't had a single lover since--"

Severus opened his eyes and cut Remus off with a sharp gaze. Remus' lips thinned, and he frowned, but rolled back onto his back and stared at the ceiling for a moment. "I suppose I should head off," he murmured.

He could see Severus looking at him still out of the corner of his eyes. Severus drew another deep breath and closed his eyes again. "I'd rather you not."


Part 28