Sep. 12th, 2007

[info]soberloki

5 Reasons Snape Puts Up With Harry, or, Love Isn't One of Them

I jumped on the bandwagon again. A shock, I know. Inspired by [info]celandineb, and my own uncontrollable urge to promote pretty much any pairing involving a happy Snape. 327 words, G-rated, single-voice crack.



5 Reasons Snape Puts Up With Harry, or, Love Isn't One of Them
An interview with Rita Skeeter


You people ask the most intrusive questions. Why must you persist? Does it really matter, why I don't send him to live with Weasleys, or on his own?

Oh very well, Albus. Why I agreed to hang your bloody portrait in my home, I'll never know. Meddling old bugger, I'm sure it was actually Potter's idea.

I do not send Harry Potter away because he keeps the place in order. I know all of the standard housekeeping charms, but Tergeo and Scourgify are not the same thing as on-your-knees effort, are they?

I have yet to evict The Walking Bird's Nest for the simple reason that I am not used to a great deal of discussion. While he keeps house here, he also usually manages to deter fools who feel it necessary to track me down and pester me with questions, the answers to which are most assuredly none of their bloody business. Do not drip that vile pink excuse for ink on my furnishings, Skeeter.

I permit the annoying twit to inhabit my home because he's a reasonably good cook. His holiday meals are quite satisfactory, despite the company he insists on including. Weasleys. It's always Weasleys. And Granger. And that positively insufferable French bint who married one of the Weasleys. And their children...

I keep the Boy-Who-Lived about the place as a reminder that we are not who we believed ourselves to be when we were young. I am not a glory-seeking Dark Master. Potter is not a golden idol to be followed by the masses. Neither of us is the child who first set foot in the Great Hall of Hogwarts... and it is entirely possible that we never were.

Besides all that, I love the little green-eyed idiot, don't I? Dearest Merlin, I knew you'd drop your quill. Spell that ink out of my rug immediately, or I shall not be held responsible for what happens to you.

And Albus... do shut up.

[info]soberloki

Crossing the Line | G | AU Trio gen

Title: Crossing the Line, AU Genfic
Also Posted: HERE
Challenge / Character(s): LINE / Trio, Snape
Rating / Wordcount: G / 100 X 3
Notes: Harry's seventh year, ignores HBP entirely. Thought of this on the bus to work, watching three people at the transit exchange scream at each other.

1.
Harry trudged down the Grand Staircase in a fug, wishing Hermione was there to shut Ron up for him.

"He doesn't even mind his hygeine," Ron prattled prissily.

I'm so tired of this shite. Even Snape should have kindness. Maybe it's why he's such a bastard, because Dad and Sirius made sure nobody ever was nice to him.

Harry paused at the first floor landing, a brilliant idea taking shape in his mind. Ron rambled onward, still talking, but Harry didn't care.

I need Hermione. She'll be able to find what I need. Harry made a beeline for the library.

2. )

3. )

[info]soberloki

Lesser Dreams - Five Things That Never Happened To Harry Potter | PG

My first submission to 5_nevers on LJ


Draco Malfoy: 145 )


Ginny Weasley: 120 )


Sirius Black: 115 )


Severus Snape: 150 )


Voldemort: 160 )

[info]soberloki

Summary Executions XXXV: Her Hair | GW/HP, HG/HP | PG-13

Title: Her Hair
Author: soberloki
Word Count: 400
Prompt: Ginny thinks about her hair.
Notes: Hey, nobody said the 'her' had to be Ginny, right?


Her hair... )

[info]soberloki

Doubt | SS, HP | G

Title: Doubt
Character(s): Snape, Harry
Word Count: 100
Notes: No clue. Just another brain fart. That, and I like the idea of Snape being something other than entirely canon or fanon.

     Snape found Potter at the bottom of the Grand Staircase, at four AM. Potter appeared to have been beaten within an inch of his life. Sighing, Snape conjured a stretcher and took him to the hospital. Again.

     Every week. Who does this? Why? What does it mean?

     If Dumbledore would only agree, Snape could have answers in minutes, and stop the abuse. Snape didn't understand why he wasn't to protect the boy now, when his entire career had been about that very thing.

     Not for the first time, he wondered if Albus really did want the boy's ultimate victory.

[info]soberloki

Strange Grace | HP, AD | PG

Title: Strange Grace
Author: [info]soberloki
Word Count: 170
Rating: PG for weirdness, multiple character death implied.
Notes: This is what happens when I watch Franz Ferdinand's Take Me Out video, directly after reading HP apocalyptic meta. *le sigh*


Strange Grace )

[info]soberloki

10 Messages, Never Received | PG

Title: Peter Pettigrew: 10 Messages, Never Received
Also Posted: soberloki entry
Warnings/Rating: HBP spoilers, if you squint. Also, a tiny bit of bad language.
Disclaimers/Author notes: I still have a bizarre feeling of sympathy for this character. Dang it, Brain, stop that! Ye hairy goats on the hill, I do love these meme thingers.

10 Messages )

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