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October 15th, 2014

[info]tasered in [info]kiseki_logs

audio | video | ota

Hey, hey, are you joking? There’s no way -- …… -- I don’t care about -- ……… -- just tell me where -- ……… [At first, there’s nothing but this short audio file, the words interrupted with static, making the speech disjointed and nearly unintelligible. The static gets louder, and soon there’s a sound of what sounds like a hundred tasers activating at once, a snap and the sound of glass shattering – and for a while, that’s it.

But, never fear, citizens of Kiseki: soon there’s a video feed appearing in your journals, of the hospital lobby, with a ton of candles spread all around it, because for some reason, all the lightbulbs are broken. The video shows a guy with flaming orange hair wearing a black tracksuit and sunglasses (yes, sunglasses, even though it’s dark enough that his face is barely visible in the video), clearing his throat and starting to speak in a manner that can only be described as grandiose.]

My fellow prisoners! Your tragic circumstances have just been brought to my attention! Oh, how my heart weeps for you, all alone and stranded here in a strange world! But there is no need for despair… yes, because Lord Lemon is here to help you!

[A dramatic pause, to make sure everyone understands he’s talking about himself.] There’s a story of a fisherman in Yokohama, who spent all his savings on a new boat. But the next night, there was a storm, and his boat sunk! But the fisherman didn’t let that get him down. Instead, he marched to the loan office, threatened them with a gun and stole enough money to get a new boat!

[He feigns wiping a tear.] A truly inspirational story! So remember…

[There’s another pause, for full dramatic effect:]

When life gives you lemons… reject them and make orange juice instead!

[Birthday grins, tossing a battery he’s been holding in his hand up in the air, catching it and—yep, biting on it as the feed cuts off.]

[[ooc: the lost traits event is going on, so if you want to action it up that is a-okay!! Birthday won't lose anything, at least not yet.]]