The Universe's Mixer

Billy remembered a pinch on his shoulder. Being the sort of person who could casually drive a spork into his own thigh meant he barely noticed the arrow. Whatever it was, it was unimportant. What consumed the mad scientist's attention was the ebon haired beauty across the way. What was there left to do besides duck for cover.

Billy then spent the next week hiding from his one true love: He wore disguises with fake mustaches, hid in bushes, dove behind railings only to fall down a flight of stairs. There was no way he could make verbal contact with her. He didn't even know her name. She didn't even do laundry.

Currently he sat on a bench at the bus stop, a newspaper was held up high to obfuscate his presence.

( I'm a super villain )

( She didn't even have a name yet! )

( Have you ever tasted a chili dog before in your life? )

( With our bleach stick we will wash the stains. )

Elle wasn't a fan of snow, or water in general when it wasn't in shower or pool form. Rain made it hard for her to do things she liked to do, and snow was just as bothersome. Right now she wanted the comforts, small they may be, of her own personal apartment. She had meant to try and call the company, but what her cellphone did not allow was those calls. Apparently she was nowhere and somewhere at the same time. The snow kept falling and moving through it was getting to be more than just a feat. She might have to try and swim through it. She tried to melt it with a zap, but since she was a twinge wet from it it just back fired. With a little cry and kept going.

She hated this place now. Hated it. Elle stormed forward, she needed to get inside, and dry and figure this out quick. Survival skills she did have, trained as she was. She missed her father. She only knew one person here and he was a runner. She needed Nathan, or maybe Peter. They could fly. She could use someone who could fly.

Ha, leather uniforms. Made her think of superman rather than the Petrelli's.

Elle finally came face to face, literally, with a glass door. How the hell had she ended up here. She pulled with some difficulty and finally wedged it open enough to make it inside. It looked like a gas station, yes, that was what it was. She pulled the door shut from the cold and let her teeth chatter. She hopped up onto the counter, not wanting to explore yet. No one seemed to be around. Fine. Maybe she'd just light this place on fire. She looked at her hands again, she was still wet. Had to dry first.

The city sucked.

You have a camel. You have a regular sewing needle. Try to thread the needle with the camel. The hair doesn't count.

The first thing Donna noticed between coughs and gasps for fresh air was that it had suddenly become freezing compared to the flames warmth on the TARDIS. The next was that she wasn't actually on the TARDIS anymore. Picking herself up from the ground, she brushed the snow off of herself and took a few more deep breaths as her eyes scanned the area she was in. None of her surroundings looked familiar but she could only hope that this was The Doctor's solution to stalling the Daleks attack. With a shiver, she wrapped her arms around herself to get some warmth and took a few steps to the right when she spotted a man. "Excuse me, do you know where I am?" she asked.

Peering at Donna, the man studied her for a moment and replied, "The City."

Her arms dropped as she rolled her eyes before letting them land on the man again. "The City? Oh, great. Thanks for the specifics. I think I can see I'm in a bloody city, but WHICH one?"

Resuming on his way, the man called back over his shoulder, "You'll learn soon enough."

"Thanks for all the help, pal!" Donna called, returning her arms around herself for extra warmth. Turning to look around once more, she decided it couldn't hurt to do what she always did when she got stuck or needed help in a situation like this. Taking a deep breath, she hoped no one would think she actually needed medical attention. "DOCTOR!"

Billy sat in the basement of his rented house, staring forlornly into the lens of his webcam. He noticed a sharp decrease in the number of hits on his blog. It depressed him. He straightened his posture and adjusted his goggles with gloved hands. Billy practiced what was supposed to be an evil smile which only looked mildly mischievous at best. So he stopped.

With a heavy sigh he spoke, "Apparently no one at the hospital recognized me, Doctor Horrible, member of the ELE. They let me walk right out the front door. No word from The League yet, B-T-W. Apparently Bad Horse and the others have been unsuccessful in their attempts to rescue me from this pocket dimension. Obviously this is all some sort of mistake. Not on my part. At least, I don't think. I'm pretty sure the Transporter Beam isn't capable of ... transporting anything. At least not without complications. It's obvious to me in recent light of the Undead Epidemic that The City must be stopped. So, look out for something big! Something evil. Uh, this is normally the part where I respond to reader e-mail but since no one seems to have heard of me here I don't actually have any."

Horrible cleared his throat.

"That's it for now. Those of you interested in joining The City's brand new and improved Evil League of Evil or the Henchman's Union, send me an e-mail with your resume. Maybe a video tape. Just a warning though, yes killing people is impressive but if you're going to do that you have to make it classy. I can't let just any idiot with a gun into The League. I mean, who do you take us for? The cops? There have to be standards. Okay, peace out.... in pieces!"

Horrible tried his best evil laugh (thought it sounded a little half-hearted) before reaching forward and turning the camera off. One post to YouTube later and Horrible stared at his in-box. Twenty minutes passed and still there was not a single e-mail. Billy sighed dejectedly before deciding to slip into his mild-mannered civilian attire and head to the grocery store in a white, unmarked van that doubled as his dastardly get-away car.

His grocery list read as follows: mayo, milk, butter, bread, eggs, english muffins, frozen dinners, and noz-ola cola. About halfway to Winco he realized that The City had him completely lost. Billy slammed on his breaks and pulled over. Getting out of the van he waved his fist in the air, "Alright City, laugh now but pretty soon I will take you over and put in a comprehensive light rail system! An evil light rail system! Run on renewable energy! So go on and laugh, you jerk! Laugh it up now while you can!"

Billy was busy setting up his webcam for a new installment of his blog when he heard a knock on the door. He perked up hopefully, thinking that the only people who really came over were Moist and the Pink Pulverizer. Billy could really use a friend right now and so he immediately stopped working on his current set up to answer the door.

Only to find out that zombies were in fact capable of knocking.

Billy immediately slammed his door shut. A synthesized beat he was only subconsciously aware of began to play in the background and as the card carrying member of the Evil League of Evil began to ponder his predicament, he also began to sing: "You hear the door slam, and realize there's nowhere left to run. You feel the cold hold, and wonder if you'll ever see the sun. You close your eyes! And hope that this is just imagination, boy. But all the while, you hear the creature creepin' up behind-- You're Out Of Time!"

Billy could hear the moans of not just one zombie behind his door, but a chorus. He needed to find an escape and spotted his small basement window. Billy, without skipping a beat -- literally, ran to the small window and managed to squeeze out of it. In his excitement he left behind his transmatter ray gun and his freeze ray, either would have been particularly useful in this situation.

There were more zombies outside his home but Billy did his best to sneak past them. While singing. Quietly. "They're out to get you, theres demons closing in on every side. They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial. Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together," but as Doctor Horrible looked down at his arms which were cradling the ray gun he should have had in his arms, realizing that it was not there he knew he had made a grave error, "All through the night, I'll save you from the terror on the screen, Ill make you see."

Billy bravely tried to think his way out of this situation. He began to sneak away in rhythm only to be followed by zombies matching him beat for beat. What started as sneaking slowly developed into skipping past a graveyard and then into a large, but deserted street. The synth pop melody which had kept him alive so far was replaced by screeching violins. The zombies forgot their cues and more came out from allies and around corners until Billy was surrounded. And bitten.

But only once. The bite mark on his arm looked like an enthusiastic hicky and confused the super villain for a moment until the synth beat started back up again before he could fully ponder the anticlimacticness of the attack. The zombies took their places behind Billy. And they began to dance.

Step, beat! Step, beat! Shoulder, step! Beat beat! Shoulder, step! Beat beat! Big arms, step! Arms! Arms! Step, step! Head pop! Dip down! Arm swing! Arm swing! Mouth pop! Mouth pop! Clap slide! Shoulders, arms, clap, slide! Shoulder, pop! Skip! Skip! Skip! Skip! Scary swing! Scary swing! Leg, hips! Out, in! Leg, hips! Out, in! Step, step, arms, arms! Step, step, arms, arms! And so on...

The dance was interrupted in parts by Billy's song, which as he began to turn would be his last words. "Cause this is thriller, thriller night! And no ones gonna save you from the beast about strike. You know its thriller, thriller night. You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight. Cause this is thriller, thriller night! Girl I can thrill you more than any ghoul who's ever danced right. Woo hoo! So let me hold you tight and share a-- killer! chiller! thriller night! Cause this is thriller!"

With Billy in the lead, the zombies began to skip down the street musically in search of their next victims.

( OOC )

There was a yawn and a stretch, pushing a lithe body against stretchy red and black material in a way that would make most teenage boys blush and cover their crotch. It had been known to stir the blood of a few adults too. But it didn’t effect anyone today. Because there was nobody there. A fact that didn’t sink into the waking woman’s mind right away. Because she was still half asleep.

That was the problem with sleeping off hours and not having a regular schedule, which is what forced long naps like this, but it really couldn’t be helped. It wasn’t like being a villain was a nine to five gig, so a henchwench couldn’t be too picky about when she got her beauty sleep. Rolling onto her side, she blinked blearily at the clock that was still a little fuzzy trying to make out the time. Then she remembered that particular time piece was broken, having been bounced off the back of her head last week when she’d been so foolish as to make a correction to something Mr. J had said.

She shoulda known better, really. He was a sensitive soul, her Puddin’, and he could hardly be blamed for not wanting to appear stupid in front of the boys. Creative people were always a little more temperamental, because they connected with their emotions more. And her man was definitely creative. He was practically an artist. He was…

( Surprisingly quiet. )

“This is not the TARDIS.” Dorothy McShane, better known as ‘Ace’ stood in the middle of the street with her hands on her hips as she looked around. She had no idea where she was or how she had gotten there. She had a few theories, but had no real idea. She decided that her arrival was do to either a) this was a room in the TARDIS that was just as big as a city; b) there was another glitch in the TARDIS systems and the front door had moved and she had stepped outside. Or c) the last door she had gone through took her through some rift in the space-time continuum. Whatever the reason, she was here now.

Ace pulled the backpack she was carrying higher up on her shoulder and got out of the street. She needed to think and figure this all out.

Last thing she remembered, she had been in her bedroom in the TARDIS mixing up a new batch of nitro-9. The Doctor had come by and told her he had a surprise for her. Since he had told her not to make explosives in her bedroom and he knew she would never do anything he asked her not to, he set up a chemistry lab for her. He said he would feel better if Ace did not make her explosives in the same room she slept in.

She had grabbed her jacket and her backpack and followed the Doctor’s directions. Down the hall off the control room, take the fourth right, go down twelve doors and take another right. Go seven door and then open the fourteenth one on the left. Ace had done that and when she had stepped through the door, she was here.

She knew the Doctor would find her eventually. He never left her alone for long, he was never sure what she would do without supervision. But in the meantime, she had a whole new City to explore and have fun with. She grinned and started walking down the street.

“Wicked.”