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Rebekah Salvatore finally found love (hasherwhims) wrote in wariscomingcom,
@ 2014-10-13 13:33:00

Entry tags:

davina claire, henrik mikaelson, jesse hauptman, katherine pierce, kol mikaelson, lois lane, marcel gerard, rebekah salvatore, rose tyler, rosemarie, scott mccall, stefan salvatore

Filtered to friends/select family*
[ooc: *select family meaning not Damon, Klaus or Caroline this time. Forward dated a bit, posted at just after 3pm Lawrence time]

So things have been difficult lately. Therapy is helping me understand a lot of things, about myself. I'm still figuring a lot of it out though, and I seem to keep coming back to this same point, over and over again. A good man once told me that the reason I don't find love is because I don't deserve it, and deep down, I couldn't disagree with that.

I'm not a good person. It's been suggested around here that I'm faking being one to gain popularity here and that was never my intention. So I figure I should be brutally honest about who and what I am.

I am vicious at times, I can be cruel. I've said in the past that I get my temper from my father and that's true. It's not the impulsive rage that my brothers can show, it's calculated and ruthless. I've killed a lot of people and I don't view human life in the way a human would. Since being here I made a promise to not kill anyone and I've stuck to that, but that doesn't change the way I am, what my nature is. I am stubborn as hell, I rarely forgive wrongs done against me and I never forget. I am very often a bitch to people I dislike.

I guess what it comes down to is I don't know why you guys like me. Maybe you won't any more, now that I've said all that. I don't understand why the brothers who talk to me love me with more than just some family obligation. I don't understand why Stefan married me, why he loves me so much. I don't understand why I have friends. I don't feel like I deserve it. Any of it.

So yeah, therapy is encouraging me to be more open about how I feel so there it is. I don't even know why I'm saying all of it, I guess I just figure that because you're people I care about, you should know that, and know the truth about what I am and all stuff like that. So there it all is.

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believesownlies
2014-10-13 03:03 pm UTC (link)

Okay, wow. I have to admit, I'm kinda surprised I can see this and I'll admit I'm not entirely sure which side of this I fall into, but...thanks.

Rebekah Salvatore, you and I have had nothing if not a complicated mess of a relationship. I've been the bane of your entire family's existence for centuries. And yet somehow, here, we have some weird mutual respect thing going on that I don't think either of us can probably even put into words. The only explanation I can even have for it is the ever-useful phrase we all run around spouting off: Only in Lawrence.

I can't say we're family, I can't exactly say we're friends, but what I can say is I respect you. I know you've been through more than I can imagine, you know I've been through things you can't quite fathom. You may be a ruthless, calculating bitch, but so am I. And if I can pull off some kind of change, so the hell can you. You and I have one thing in common: We're survivors. We push through, no matter how low we get. So pull up your bootstraps, honey, because you've got this.

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hasherwhims
2014-10-13 07:02 pm UTC (link)

You're sort of family. You and Elijah are engaged and that means you'll be my sister in law.

It's definitely a weird mutual respect thing we have. Because really, if it hadn't been my family you were screwing over, I'd have been really impressed by your skills. You're smart and tough and you've been through some serious shit in your life. Look, I'm not going to get involved in the whole Henrik and Hope side of things, but for what it's worth? I don't think you'd hurt either of them. You lost a child. I think that must be one of the greatest pains to ever suffer. And I think even the Great Survivor Katerina Petrova has her limits and hurting kids is that limit.

Same as I don't hurt kids.

We're kind of more alike than a lot of people realize.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

believesownlies
2014-10-13 07:16 pm UTC (link)

True. I just didn't really expect you to, you know, claim me in that way. Or in any way. But really. Thanks.

Really? Impressed? Thanks. I'm not fighting it. They want what they want, so...I'll respect it. But no. I wouldn't ever do that. I don't care what I'd gain. I would never hurt a child. And certainly not a baby. But people can think what they want of it, of me, I don't really care. Either of those kids is ever in trouble and for some reason I'm the only one that has a chance in hell of saving them, you'll be damned if I don't. Klaus' kid or not, his hatred for me, it wouldn't matter. Somebody tries to hurt that baby, I will do whatever it takes. Whatever. It takes. I have plenty of issues with your brother, but I wouldn't wish that pain on him. Ever. He wouldn't believe me if I told him, I'm sure, but really. I would never use her against him.

More than either of us really wanted to admit once upon a time.

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hasherwhims
2014-10-13 07:25 pm UTC (link)

You're going to be an in-law. A direct in-law. I won't go any further in acknowledging family. So, you know, none of your family members would be my family. Make sense?

Well, yeah. You managed to escape and survive the second most determined psychopath of our world. The first being Mikael, obviously. But no one else managed to escape my brother the way you did and that's impressive. And I know you wouldn't. I think you'd put yourself above most people, and that's acceptable, but I also think you'd protect a baby. And that's important. He'd never believe that, but this isn't about him right now. I just wanted you to know that I think it.

Damn right.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	believesownlies 2014-10-13 08:03 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, makes sense. What other choice did I have, get caught and die? I'm glad you know that, even if I do wonder how many people would argue against you on it. Most people, yeah, I would. But never a child. I'm glad to have whatever it is we have between us, though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

hasherwhims
2014-10-13 09:23 pm UTC (link)

Oh good. Because yeah. I'll go one step with the in-laws family thing and no further.

Most people would have been caught and died. You managed to stay ahead and that took some serious smarts. I think a lot of people would argue against me on it, but I stand by my logic on it. You lost a child, you'd never do that to someone else. And okay, every person we've killed was someone's child, but you know what I mean.

Me too.

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	believesownlies 2014-10-14 12:18 am UTC (link)
	It's fair. Well, thank you. I think people tend to overlook that part. And thank you for believing that in me, if nothing else. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hasherwhims 2014-10-14 11:05 am UTC (link)
	Even the worst of us have our limits, Katerina. Klaus, as horrific as he can be, has his. He doesn't hurt children, he even has good sides when he chooses to show them. And I don't believe you're worse than he is. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	believesownlies 2014-10-14 02:17 pm UTC (link)
	It takes a certain kind of person to hurt a child, and none of us fit that bill. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hasherwhims 2014-10-14 11:51 pm UTC (link)
	We've done horrific things, none of us deny that, you, me, my family. But we have limits. And children are innocents. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	believesownlies 2014-10-15 12:09 am UTC (link)
	Exactly. But this really got off course. Rebekah Salvatore, you are a strong, independent woman and you have a good head on your shoulders and fabulous hair. You've got this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hasherwhims 2014-10-15 09:35 am UTC (link)
	It cannot be denied, I do have amazing hair. Though it needs to be said, I have always admired yours. It's probably the best of the doppelgangers. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	believesownlies 2014-10-15 02:40 pm UTC (link)
	Well, thank you! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hasherwhims 2014-10-15 09:51 pm UTC (link)
	And haven't hair care products developed so much in the past century! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	itchtokill 2014-10-15 10:02 pm UTC (link)
	What is it with women and hair? And shoes. God, the shoes. I'll never get it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hasherwhims 2014-10-15 10:14 pm UTC (link)
	Have you seen how much damage I can do with a pair of heels?! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	itchtokill 2014-10-15 10:23 pm UTC (link)
	Yes. And I've also seen how much damage you can do to a credit card when buying said heels! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hasherwhims 2014-10-15 10:52 pm UTC (link)
	That's what credit cards are for! It's their purpose, you wouldn't want to deny them their purpose, would you?! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	itchtokill 2014-10-15 11:27 pm UTC (link)
	I think you're wrong. I think they hate your abuse of them! Poor credit cards. Always used for over-priced foot-wear. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hasherwhims 2014-10-15 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	How do you know?! Have you spoken to them?! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)