InsaneJournal

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(if you think you are, you probably are)

Christmas is in one week. With warnings from Loki Under the circumstances, I'd like to go ahead and celebrate Aislinn's birthday. It'll also get her into the habit of celebrating her birthday on a different day so she doesn't get forced into 'you only get one set of presents' syndrome.

We don't know what all is about to happen. I'd like to at least give my baby one happy day before she could lose us all forever this all goes down.

We're having dinner tonight at our house. Probably just pizza or sub sandwiches or something, and one of those ridiculous 1st birthday cakes that babies get filthy and messy in. But you're all invited. Presents not required, just the people who love her.

[Graham]

I can't say this in person. So don't expect me to. It isn't my thing, this talking about feelings stuff. But for you, I try. More than I think I ever have. And now, I really need to.

If we get sent back, once all this is said and done, I'll go home to my mom and dad, my little boy, friends who I've grown to love. I'll lose my daughter, but Loki has assured me he's found someplace safe for her if the worst happens and that's all I can ask.

But you. I'll lose you. Again. If I remember any of this, at least I'll have that, but if I don't, it will be the most heartbreaking thing in the world.

I came from right after we lost you. You were so rarely mentioned again that I began to worry you'd just been forgotten and that killed me. Because I was so close to feeling something for someone again and then you were taken from me. But I was watching the show and noticed something. I did a little research and I was right.

To the very last episode that's aired, I am still wearing your boot laces on my wrist. It sounds silly, but well, it's me, and it's so something I would do.

So know that. Know that no matter what happens here, should the world come crashing down around us and I lose you again, that you are never once forgotten and you are always in my heart.

And that I love you.