Helena Wells has "disappeared" with the Astrolabe (ismellapples) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2013-07-09 12:04:00 |
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Entry tags: | helena g. wells, svetlana sergievsky |
Who: Svetlana and Helena
What: A year ago, Moriarty succeeded in making Helena snap and tried to kill her and she never actually dealt with that.
When: Noonish
Where: Svetlana's apartment
Warnings: Mentions of being shot, otherwise TBA
Today was the day that marked a year since Moriarty had tried to kill both her and Myka. That had been the day that Helena’s control over the darker part of herself had snapped. The sniper had actually done her a favor. If she had not been shot, Helena would have torn Lawrence apart hunting down Moriarty to torture and kill him. That had been the mindset she’d gone into when Moriarty had used the Farnsworth she’d given to Irene to call her and show her Myka’s life was on the line. Everything after that moment was a blur, honestly. Helena only knew that she’d somehow managed to tell Bruce about the bomb before she burst out of the Avengers’ warehouse and made her way to rescue Myka. She wasn’t going to let the psychopathic Irishman kill her, Helena would kill him first. But the sniper had stopped that. Before she’d known what was happening, Myka was pushing her and a searing pain ripped into her shoulder. The bullet had lodged itself within her shoulder, and the bullet had been taken out when Myka got her back to the medbay.
Dealing with the aftereffects of that had never truly happened. For one, the fact that Lexi had given Helena her blood to drink, thus instantly healing the wound in her shoulder, had taken away the need to go through the long term physical healing aspect. And for another thing, it had gotten lost within her dealing with Christina’s loss. So it was no surprise that today she was edgy and quieter than was typical of her. While Helena had never forgotten she'd been shot, dealing with the aftereffects of it had never really been something she'd needed to do. She had too much else to work through with her unexpressed grief over Christina. By the time the Victorian woman had finally pulled herself back up from being knocked down by everything regarding Christina, being shot, and having snapped, were far from her mind. Other things had come to take precedence over what had happened on this day a year before. And now Helena was paying the price for that.
Helena had spent the morning locked within her head, largely going through the motions of feeding Emily and watching her, so on and so forth. Her mind was in a completely different place. She didn’t interact with anyone, it was mostly just reacting. If someone got her attention, she would respond and shake out of her haze temporarily. However, her mind always pulled her back to when she'd been shot. Every so often, Helena would absently rub the place where she’d been shot as though it hurt, but it was merely a reflex to the things going through her head. She had escaped the Reaper that day, she knew that. By all rights, that bullet should’ve lodged itself in her head, effectively killing her, but it hadn’t because Myka had seen the sniper and pushed her out of the way to avoid the kill shot. The Victorian woman had a complicated relationship with the Reaper. Oh she knew she was living on extremely borrowed time, that was not the issue. The issue was how many times she’d stared Death himself in the face only to remain alive. No one could escape death forever. While there had been a time when Helena would’ve rather been dead, right now she had every will to live. Eventually all the brushes with death caught up with someone. Today was the day that being shot caught up with her.
Eventually realizing she wasn’t handling the memories at all, Helena knew what she needed to do. Ensuring Emily was being watched, Helena grabbed her purse and headed out. She needed vodka and she didn’t have any in the house. While there was an assortment of liquor, largely sherry and brandy, vodka was not something she kept in stock. And vodka was what she needed right now. Helena needed to drink enough to let herself feel without her walls coming up. Though things were also compounded because the day Christina died was only a few days away. This was certainly a horrible time of year for Helena. Except while she was in Lawrence, she had the added weight of Irene’s death and having been shot added to this week to deal with. Helena hoped that if she was able to get through today and not close herself off from dealing with it, it would be better after this.
Worries about Sunday were mounting. She had no idea how she’d react, but Helena seriously hoped that the work she’d put in to accepting and grieving her daughter’s death the previous year would help her not react as poorly as she otherwise might. But even with that, she couldn’t quite make that a cement assertion until Sunday came.
Quickly pushing those thoughts aside, she didn’t need to complicate things for herself even more than they already were, Helena went to a liquor store and bought two bottles. She wasn’t certain how much she needed, and she’d also decided to go spend some time with Svetlana. While she knew Svetlana was trying to adjust to being back here, Helena just needed to be around her for a while. Both women also knew how to read between the lines with the other, and given Svetlana had been here a year ago, that would hopefully help. Because Helena was not going to let herself implode or cause an explosion again because she wasn’t dealing with things. Alcohol in hand, Helena headed to the complex and up to Svetlana’s room and knocked. Perhaps she should’ve asked Svetlana if she could come over before she actually arrived on her doorstep, but Helena wasn’t exactly thinking ahead currently.