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Ginger: the "It's okay to be gay" Campaign Leader ([info]onefiercebitch) wrote in [info]wariscoming,
@ 2012-10-26 06:27:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:ginger, peter vincent

Ginger & Peter Vincent
Thursday enening, October 24, 2012; Library
All the feels for Peter & and a lot of WTFing for Ginger.
R (at the very least for language, two foul-mouths together...yes.)/Complete

Aye dios mio! What is this place?!


The last thing Ginger remembered before waking up here--wherever the fuck here even was--was that little vampire shit coming at her. If she ever saw him again, she'd kill him. Fifteen times over. Mostly for getting her robe all bloody. That was her favorite robe. Asshole.

Despite the very sudden change in scenery, Ginger was calm enough to wind her way through the strange little town she had somehow managed to land in to try and figure out where she was and how she'd gotten here. She found herself at a library and shrugged. It seemed as good a place as any. She got wild stares as she walked inside the library dressed in her underthings and a robe, blood visible on herself and her clothes, but Ginger didn't care. She was used to eyes on her, so she could ignore it easily as she approached the front desk. "I seemed to have turned up here with no memory or knowledge of how. Got any information on that?" 

The girl behind the desk stared at the woman before her with an openly disgusted look at her state of dress, but nodded, "I don't know much about it, but there's a network you can get on," she explained the instructions to get to the forums and showed her where the computers were. 

"Haughty little bitch." Ginger muttered under her breath before following the instructions the girl had given her.


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[info]smokingmagician
2012-10-25 11:18 pm UTC (link)
His hands were shaking. He could feel them shaking. He could feel his heart pounding in his throat, still right where it had lodged when he’d first seen the post on the board. She was here and she was alive and fucking hell he felt dizzy with the shock of it. He wondered distantly if this was anything like how Amy felt when Charley had appeared, the past colliding with the present, home with Lawrence, and fuck if he even know how to process that.

Peter barely acknowledged his surroundings as he moved through the city. He was preoccupied with trying to recall the exact timbre of Ginger’s voice, the scent of her hair, the light in her eyes after a good show. It had been over six months since he’d last seen her. Far too long, and far too short of time to be forgetting these things already. But all he could think of was that night… of the moment in his panic room, when he caught sight of her corpse on the security monitor. Of coming out, shaking even more than he was now, and creeping through the disturbingly silent penthouse over to where her body lay cooling on the floor. Of the sickly greenish light from the elevator, shining in her blood as it slowly spread into a pool under her, soaking into her hair and staining his skin red as he’d pulled her into his lap and held her close…

Peter shut his eyes tight, trying to shake off the memory. When he opened them again, he was standing at the front entrance to the library. He didn’t even remember the walk between there and the complex, and he cursed himself for being so reckless. Good way to get killed, walking around Lawrence without his wits about him. He pushed open the doors and headed inside.

And there she was. All bloodied black silk and caramel skin and eyes flashing fire with irritation, and she was really here and alive and Ginger. Before he’d even fully registered the sight of her, he was already crossing the room to the computer area where she was sitting and wrapping his arms around her, holding her tight the way he had thought he would never be able to do again.

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[info]onefiercebitch
2012-10-25 11:32 pm UTC (link)
Ginger was still sitting at the computer she'd been at for the last half hour or so. All the things people were telling her, well, they were fucking insane and she was hardly the God-fearing type of person to believe in all the Apocalypse mumbo jumbo. How many times over the years had people predicted the end of the world? And yet, here they were, living in the world. Well, was she living? Hadn't she died? She wasn't sure. This was all getting way too theological for her already.

She didn't notice when Peter entered the library, she was too busy staring at the words on the computer screen like the machine had just sprouted three heads from the center of it. When those scrawny little arms wrapped around her, there was no mistaking who had come up behind her, though.

"Ay dios mio, Peter!" She stood and turned to return the hug he had given her. Normally, Ginger was not a huggy person, but considering she was pretty sure she had somehow managed to come back from the dead and turned up in some city that was definitely not Las Vegas? Hugging was completely warranted. "What is going on? Is what they're saying true?"

Personal indescressions aside, she knew Peter would never lie to her, not something this big and elaborate. "Because this sounds fucking nuts. How am I even here? Peter, I died." She wasn't saying it to force the images she didn't actually know that would push into his mind, but more out of her own complete confusionand disbelief at the entire situation.

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[info]smokingmagician
2012-10-26 12:34 am UTC (link)
He could hear her talking, but he could hardly register the meaning of the words, too caught up in her very presence. Then those last words came out. He felt those like a blade, tearing open the painful wound her death had left him with. He held her just a little closer, choking on his whispered reply. “I know you did.”

He couldn’t say more than that, could even begin to think how to explain just yet. He wanted - needed, desperately - to apologize for so many things. For sending her to her death, for harsh words and venomous glares being the last thing he’d ever given her in life, for abandoning her to her fate when just maybe, if he’d thought of someone other than himself for one fucking second, he could have saved her. How could he even begin to apologize for something like that?

He could still see her far too pale face, blood smearing from the wound in her throat, her eyes glossing over, and her body had felt so very still…

But she wasn’t dead now. She was very much alive. Peter loosened his hold, drawing back far enough to look her in the eyes - they were bright and clear, and when he cupped her cheek, her skin was warm under his palm. There was still blood at her throat, smeared down onto her shoulder and matting in her hair, but it was drying on her skin, no wound visible now. She was a real mess - a beautiful, bloody, wonderfully alive mess.

Every raw emotion was likely visible on his face - the pain of loss and memory, the shocked elation at seeing her again, the disbelief, because dammit, he knew the fucking Seal threw out curve balls like this, but it had never even crossed his mind that he would have a chance to see Ginger again. The maelstrom of emotions only continued to grow as he stared at her. His thumb stroked against her cheekbone, and he gently tucked a strand of blood-sticky hair behind her ear.

“You’re really here,” Peter said, voice full of wonder. He pulled her in close again, leaning down to kiss her without even thinking about it.

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[info]onefiercebitch
2012-10-26 01:05 am UTC (link)
She frowned a little when he didn't answer her question, but didn't put up a fuss when he pulled her into him a little tighter. "Hey, I did, but I'm not now... I don't understand. I'm pretty sure death is supposed to be the end. I mean, I know people
talk about the afterlife, but I didn't think the afterlife would be in
fucking Kansas."

When he pulled away and she finally got a good look at his face, it confirmed everything she'd heard in his voice. And seeing all of that
raw emotion playing across his face made her heart sink a little. She'd seen a lot of shades and variations of Peter, but this was one she hadn't and she didn't know what to make of it. Other than she hated knowing he was that broken right now. She didn't like it when Peter got broken.

"Well, yeah, of course I am! What'd you think you were gonna come meet a dream at the library? I'm not in your head, Peter!" A tiny, lopsided smile turned up the corner of her mouth. That touch was familiar, and in that moment it was a welcome comfort. She returned the kiss, her own hand reaching up to cup around the back of his neck, her fingers twisting through the ends of his hair.

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[info]smokingmagician
2012-10-26 04:52 am UTC (link)
Her mouth felt wrong against his. It was the wrong shape, the wrong texture, the wrong taste. Oh, they were all familiar, all recognizably Ginger‘s. It was the same familiar kiss of the woman who had been his lover for over two years… but they were wrong somehow. Still dazed by her very existence, it took Peter a long moment to figure out why. Andrew’s face flashed into his mind, and Peter pulled back abruptly, staring back at Ginger with a new kind of shock, her hand on his neck the only thing keeping him from separating from her fully.

Peter was not the most moral of lovers; he knew and had long ago accepted this fact. Pleasure was pleasure, and while he had never been sadistic, he had no qualms about fucking whoever caught his fancy. If someone got their feelings hurt by his infidelity, then they had taken his affections too seriously, and he would cut them loose before they became too emotionally attached. It worked for him, kept him from being alone without letting anyone in too close.

Ginger had been one of few to breach those walls, but not even she had become as close to his heart as Andrew had. Things were different now. It was a slow realization, still not fully formed, still not something he could fully admit to… but this relationship that he was building with Andrew… he wanted it more than anything he‘d ever wanted in his life. He wouldn’t - couldn’t do this to him. He’d promised to try, and he meant it, and goddammit as badly as he wanted to hold her and never let go, as much as he’d missed her… he wanted Andrew more.

His hands moved from her face to her shoulders, gently pushing her back, putting some distance between them, but not quite able to break contact entirely. Peter couldn’t tear his gaze from her face - the last time he’d seen her, it had been at her funeral, and she had been in a coffin. Some of what she‘d been saying finally caught up in his head, and he latched onto it, let it give him some direction.

“It’s not the afterlife,” he managed to get out. “The Seal, it takes people from after their deaths sometimes. It pulled us out of our world and into this one.” Unable to help himself, his finger traced the side of her face again. “I can’t believe you’re actually fucking here,” he whispered. “Fuck Ginger, I went to your fucking funeral.”

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[info]onefiercebitch
2012-10-26 05:29 am UTC (link)
When he pulled away, it was sudden and abrupt and kind of startled Ginger back into reality. She had no idea what was going on in his head when he'd pulled away, but the look on his face definitely said something was different--that something was wrong. She just stared at him as her hand fell back down to her side, trying to figure out what was going on without having to ask. She had grown rather accstomed to reading Peter and his myriad of emotions and expressions that usually crossed his face. However, this time, she wasn't entirely sure what to make of it all.

However, that changed almost instantly when he pushed her away. What was that? Peter was always so touchy, it didn't make sense for him to put the distance between them like that. Truth was, it hurt, but she'd never let him know it, not directly. Ginger had always been one to disguise her pain, usually as anger, or ignore her problems until they went away. But in a place where Peter was the only familiar thing around, the simple action of putting space between them cut deep.

Her attention as brought back to reality when she heard his voice. "The Seal? Right...the biblical bullshit that Amy girl was babbling about..." she shook her head, "Peter, don't tell me you believe that shit..." she wasn't sure what to believe any more, but she knew that shit sounded fucking batshit.

"Well believe it, baby, because I am." she said smirking slightly, reaching up to grab his finger, moving her hand to link with his own.

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-06 03:56 am UTC (link)
Ginger’s small, warm fingers wrapped around his, stirring to mind hundreds of memories with that one simple touch - nights on the stage taking their bows together; clinging to each other out on the Strip so as not to lose one another in the crowds; their fingers twining together as they fucked, rough but affectionate, as all things between them had been.

Peter held her hand tight; he still needed the contact as much as she did. “I can see that, I just...” he sighed. He needed to focus. There were things she needed to know. “It’s not bullshit. It’s real. The Seal broke; it damaged the walls between worlds and people keep slipping through into this one. This is a different universe from ours.” He looked down at their clasped hands, his voice getting quieter. “The timing’s always off too. I’ve been here for months now, Ginger.” Months living without you, he left unsaid.

Those months hadn’t seemed like so long until now. Ginger’s arrival, the way she looked at him, how he himself responded to her... it all drove home how much had changed - how much he had changed. For all their problems, all the times they had fought and hurt each other, they’d always known where they stood with each other. It was what had made their volatile relationship work for as long as it had.

That surety with each other, that was gone now; he could read it in her face as she looked at him. It was like she was standing still, a snapshot from his life at the moment when everything had begun to change. She hadn’t lived to see him start to fight, to put in the effort and try to be a better man. To her, he was still the douche bag, playboy magician, slowly drinking himself to death. She didn’t know him anymore.

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-06 05:30 pm UTC (link)
"You sound mental." She said, shaking her head. "But...it's you. So I'll take your word for it. Because you're an asshole, but you're hardly a liar. Especially not to me." She pointed out with a slight shrug of one shoulder.

She didn't understand everything going on right now. She was still disoriented from...whatever it was that had happened to bring her here. This Seal people kept talking about. Peter kept talking about. Maybe it was real. She wasn't sure. She wasn't sure she cared. What she really cared about right now was the way he was acting.

"Peter?" She reached up with her free hand and waved it in front of his face. "Hey...pay attention." She frowned. "You're being weird. Why?" That was Ginger in all her glory, no sugar-coating, just cut straight to the chase.

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-06 10:39 pm UTC (link)
He hid a wince at her words. She was right, that Peter wasn’t much of one for lying; he respected her too much to try bullshitting her. Which was why he was going to have to explain Andrew soon. Him being with other people was not new to her. Him choosing one person and forsaking everyone else, especially her...

Her hand waved in front of his face and he nearly flinched. “I’m not trying to be,” he said, trying not to snap. What the fuck did she expect? He wanted to just fall apart right there, to hold tight to her and let it all come spilling out, how she’d died, and he’d nearly turned, how he’d come here and it had been so long and so much had changed. But he couldn’t let himself think about all that now. He had to take care of her; she didn’t know how dangerous it could be around here. So he shoved it all aside for now, ignoring her question.

He let go of her hand and reached up to take off one of his necklaces, the one with all the tiny charms and amulets hanging from it. He’d added his anti-possession amulet to the small collection ages ago. Peter looped it over Ginger’s head, gently pulling her hair out from under the fine chain. “Listen, keep this on you for now.” He picked up the anti-possession amulet where it lay against her breast, holding it up. “See this? It’ll protect you from demonic possession. Yes, that’s a thing here. We can get you one of your own back at the complex.”

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-06 10:49 pm UTC (link)
The fact that he didn't answer her question did not go unnoticed. In fact, it brought a deep frown cross her forehead and she made a note to ask again in a bit.

Her eyebrows shot up in silent question when he took off the necklace and looped it around her. The explanation came before the question could leave her mouth. She listened and waited patiently for him to finish before she picked up the amulet he was babbling about, studying it for a moment. And without missing a beat, or wavering in he slightest, she deadpanned at him. "But it's hideous."

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-06 11:24 pm UTC (link)
The quip was not her best, but it still brought the tiniest phantom of a smirk to his lips. “Trust me, it’s much more preferable to getting possessed,” he said. Eyeing her skimpy robe, he also took off his long leather jacket and handed it over to her “We really should start back to the complex. It’s the safest place in Lawrence.”

Despite his words, he hesitated still, uncertain of how to proceed. Once they got to the complex, he’d no longer be able to avoid explaining things... explaining Andrew. He didn’t want to hide it from her, but... he knew this wasn’t going to go well. For a moment, he just stood there watching he, drinking in her presence, and marvelling once more at the fact that she was here at all. All of this just had his head spinning in circles, thoughts and feelings all tangled up and tripping over each other.

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-06 11:44 pm UTC (link)
Ginger took the jacket and slid it on, wondering what was going on in that head of his. So many thoughts were running amuck up there. That much was obvious. She could see it all over his face. But what those thoughts were? Those were still secret only Peter knew.

"So...when you say possession is a thing here," she said, starting to head towards the front doors of the library, not leaving without casting the girl from earlier a dirty look. "Are we talking....full-on Linda Blair head spin-y possessed or...something else?" She asked, half-serious, half-joking as she looked up at him for an answer.

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-07 12:59 am UTC (link)
Peter walked beside her, his eyes still locked on her, afraid she’d disappear again if he looked away. Hell, as fickle as the Seal was, it could really happen, and he’d have lost her before he could even take this second chance he’d been given. “Possession, meaning, a demon from hell takes over your body and uses it as a tool to wreak havoc on everyone around you,” he said flatly, not mincing words. “And not everyone survives it. So, let’s avoid that, yeah?”

He pushed open the door and they headed down the steps to the sidewalk, and he took her hand again as he started to lead the way back to the complex. “Demons aren’t the only nasty things around here though. Got to be careful.” This time as he moved through the city, he kept a watchful eye out. Jerry may have been in hiding for over a month now, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t out there, and the last thing he needed was to get caught off-guard. Still, he found himself watching her more than the surrounding streets.

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-07 01:21 am UTC (link)
"All right, all riiiiight," she cooed at him, deciding to at least appease this paranoid side of him for the moment. She'd seen this sort of behavior from him before.

Normally, Ginger wasn't one to mind attention and eyes all on her. In fact, she reveled in it. But the way Peter just seemed to be staring holes into her was weird and so unlike him. She coundn't comprehend it. "I'm not going anywhere," she piped up as the rush of air hit her, the temperature change from inside the library into the night outside made her glad Peter had given her his jacket.

His hand took hers and a smile graced her lips as they walked. "What kind've things?"

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-07 02:48 am UTC (link)
Peter closed his eyes briefly. She didn’t know how easily she could be proven wrong, how easily she could just disappear again. He knew she just meant to calm him down, but she didn’t know, and he found no comfort in the empty reassurance. He’d already lost her once. He’d had friends he’d made here torn away by the whim of the Seal before. Cordelia, Priestly, Darcy and her boys... it was so easy for people to just disappear, quite literally without a trace.

Peter squeezed her hand a little tighter and tried to focus on her question instead. He couldn’t let himself think on her smile, on her being alive again, on how he was ever meant to fix the wreckage he’d made of her life. If he focused on just giving her information, maybe he could get through this without slipping back down. He’d only just begun recovering from the mental breakdown Jerry’s arrival had triggered; he was so tired of falling apart at the seams.

“All kinds of things, really. Sometimes it’s things the Seal throws at us. Sometimes it’s monsters native to this world. I’ve seen aliens, werewolves, living shop mannequins, ghosts...” He looked her in the eye, carefully gauging her response to his next word. “Vampires.”

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-07 03:27 am UTC (link)
She squeezed back in response, in reassurance, which he seemed to need a lot of right then. Of course, he'd said she had been gone for months now. So maybe he was still in shock just as much as she was. And she wasn't really complaining about a little physical reassurance that this wasn't all a dream.

Ginger's expression grew more incredulous and shocked with each thing he listed off, but that last one. That one actually evoked a reaction. A shudder that ran straight down her spine to start. "I don't want to talk about it," she said, her voice nearly mechanic. "How much longer til we get to this place?"

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-07 04:27 am UTC (link)
No one knew better than Peter how hard it could be just thinking about those bloodsucking leeches. He nodded in understanding, trying not to let his face show the guilt and pain. It was already his fault she had been killed in the first place, his fault she been alone when she looked her death in the face. He wouldn’t add making her talk about it to the already long and still growing list of all the things he’d done to hurt her.

“It’s not too far,” he said quietly, not quite able to meet her eye. “When we get there I’ll help you get a room set up and some clothes to wear until you can get some new things. I’m pretty sure there’s some rooms on my floor still open.”

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-07 04:42 am UTC (link)
Ginger was glad that he didn't press about it. She didn't think he would have, but there was always the off-chance he might have. She didn't want to think about it. It was all fresh enough in her mind as it was, no need to add to the clarity of it.

She stopped when he said that, her hand tugging on his to signal him to the same. "What do you mean? Why wouldn't I stay with you?" There was that feeling again. Something was off, there was something bugging him and now it was starting to bug her.

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-07 05:30 am UTC (link)
She had stopped, and he stopped with her, still unable to look at her face. Peter winced, wishing he’d left it at least until they’d gotten to the safety of the complex. He couldn’t just not answer, now. Ginger wasn’t going to let him walk away from this. What’s more, she deserved a proper explanation.

He stepped in front of her, still holding her hand like a lifeline, and looked her in the eye once more, trying to steel himself up to telling her. She looked agitated and a little nervous and so, so lost. His jacket was far too big on her and made her look fragile, waif-like, and the entire image she presented tore at his conscience. For a few moments, he couldn’t do more than just look at her mournfully, guiltily. How the fuck could he even start to tell her?

Then he thought of Andrew, waiting back at the complex. The look on his face when Peter had kissed him for the first time. The way he’d smiled on their first date. How Andrew felt pressed up against him on the couch when they snuggled in to watch terrible movies together. The stupid warm feeling he got whenever he and Andrew started bantering back and forth about random stuff. What Rose had said, just the evening before, about how obvious it was how crazy about each other they were. The sound of Andrew’s laugh, and the feel of hearing his own name from Andrew’s lips.

This hurt, to see her again and know that she could no longer be his. To know that their lives together were still over, even with Ginger back from the dead, safe and whole once more, just as she had been when he’d last seen her. It hurt.

Then he thought of Andrew, of this slow realization that had been tickling at the back of his head for the past few days. He could not, would not, did not want to let Andrew go. Not now, not when he was starting to think he might actually be falling.

Not even for Ginger.

And Peter finally found his own voice. “Ginger, I’m seeing someone.” He blinked. It was still unfamiliar, being able to say the words. He and Andrew still hadn’t told more than a few people. And Ginger was possibly the single most important person he would have to tell. Stomach sick with nerves and trying not to panic, Peter waited for her response.

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-07 06:02 pm UTC (link)
She stood there, staring holes into him now in his silence. What was this? Why was he taking so long to answer such a simple question? Why couldn't he look at her properly? Her eyes widened as a hundred and one different things flooded her mind. Female mind in overdrive, assuming all the worst possibilities. Except even that did not allow her to predict what was coming. It was so simple. So....normal for him. Why was this such an issue? She didn't understand.

"Okay, so?" She shrugged, "You're always seeing other people. That's never made a difference before, so why should it now?" The suspicion was evident in her voice. Clearly, there was more to this story, but in that moment, or in any other moment if she were honest, she couldn't possibly fathom what it could be.

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-08 01:11 am UTC (link)
The way she looked at him, he could tell she wasn’t getting it. Of course she wasn’t. It was not as though he’d never told her about another lover he’d taken. But those times, the nonchalance was all his, because those other people he’d fucked or flirted with could never have come between him and Ginger. She had always had something special and she knew it. She didn’t tolerate any of his bullshit, kept him honest, and he’d loved her for it. None of the other showgirls or fanboys or drunken one night stands he’d taken into his bed ever compared to Ginger. How was she to know that Andrew was none of those things?

“This time is different,” he said, voice soft but strong. Maybe it was too blunt, but keeping painful issues simple and straightforward was the best way he knew how to communicate them. “This one... things are different with him. I can’t be with you, and be with him. And I’m not leaving Andrew.” He kept his eyes on hers, trying to look steadier than he felt, as he waited for the impact of those words to set in.

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-08 01:23 am UTC (link)
At first, she didn't understand. How was it different? How could it be any different? This was Peter, so of course she didn't even fathom the idea that maybe he meant this was something serious. But then, as he went on, his words hit her like a ton of bricks. I can't be with you and be with him. What was that? That was. That was a relationship. A real relationship. That wasn't Peter. Peter didn't do relationships. He flirted. He fucked. He had flings. But he did not have relationships.

As the reality of what he was saying really started to sink in, her eyes filled up with tears, but she didn't let them fall. Her head was spinning. This was too much. It was all way too much. She shook her head, "I-I can't..." she squeezed her eyes shut. "Just take me...wherever it is you're taking me."

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-08 03:29 am UTC (link)
He saw the tears, saw her try to hide them, and he couldn’t look her in the eye any longer. They’d hurt each other before, but not like this. He could hear the pain in her voice, the plea there for him to just stop talking, but he couldn’t leave it there. If he was going to tell her, he was going to do it properly. Honesty was the least he could give her, painful though it was for her. It was probably selfish of him at the moment, but god, he needed to know that she understood.

“Please, Gin, you need to understand, it’s been six months for me. You were gone, you weren’t...” he paused, trying to swallow before he choked. “And this thing with Andrew, he’s not meant to replace you. He’s special, somehow. Different. I don’t -”

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-08 03:52 am UTC (link)
Ginger wanted to get where they were going, get a room, and a shower, and go to bed. She would have been perfectly content with walking the rest of the way there in silence, but no. Peter couldn't have that. Couldn't give her that. He had to open his mouth. Had to talk about this Andrew. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" she shouted, turning on her heel to face him, eyes flashing with fire. "Honestly, I don't give a shit, Peter! It's been six months for you, you've moved on, you've gotten over it. Guess what? It's been about six minutes for me! I'm not over it, I'm not moving on! And I'm not having a goddamn conversation about your new fucking boyfriend!" Her words were punctuated by a loud smack as her hand came across his cheek.

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-08 05:04 am UTC (link)
He supposed he should have been expecting the slap, but he’d been so stuck on the things she was screaming in his face that he missed the hand coming towards his jaw until she’d already struck. The blow startled him, and he flinched back, raising a hand to cover his abused cheek. Ginger always did have a damn good arm, and he knew he had deserved that slap.

But more than the sting, more than the solid impact of her hand against his cheek, it was what she’d said that hurt. Not because she didn’t want to hear it, not because she wouldn’t accept what he’d said; he could never fault her for that. But the implication that he didn’t care anymore about her...

When he looked back around at her, he was nearly as furious as she was, eyes glaring wide and his voice low and lethal. “If you really think for one second that I would just get over you getting fucking murdered by a fucking vampire in our fucking front room, then you clearly don’t fucking know me at all.”

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-08 05:39 am UTC (link)
Those words, that voice, it was all a big fat reality check for her and she suddenly felt about five times smaller standing there in the street with the lanky man that already loomed over her as it were. "I didn't- that's not- you're twisting it." she mumbled, "that's not how I meant it and you know it." She could barely bring herself to talk now, her soft whispers a drastic difference from the screaming she'd been doing moments ago.

"Can we just....go. Please." she asked the ground, unable to look at him now. "I can't do this, Peter. I can't." she shook her head. "Five minutes ago, as far as I knew, you were mine and now all the sudden you're not and I'm just supposed to be okay with it and I can't be," Once she started, she couldn't really stop and as she went on, she broke, tears rolling hot and fast down her cheeks. "I'm apparently back from the dead and I'm in some weird place and I don't know what's going on and I'm confused and scared and I just can't do this, okay?" She sank down to the ground, knees drawn up to her chest, pressing her palms to her eyes, trying to force the tears to stop and calm down so'ehow.

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-08 07:39 am UTC (link)
Peter watched her shrink back from him and his anger evaporated. He shut his eyes, took a deep breath, listened to her talk, and felt the guilt come burning in again. It made him feel very old and very tired. When he looked back at her, his own face crumpled with pain because oh god she was actually crying and he fucking knew she had to be barely holding it together as it was without him snarling at her, without him telling her all of this. And she sank down in front of him, completely breaking down, and he could feel his heart wrenching in two at the sight. He’d never wanted this for her, never intended for things to go like this.

He hesitated, unsure if his touch would be accepted or even appropriate at this point. He hated watching people hurt. He never had any idea how to comfort them. It was even worse when he was the one who’d hurt them.

Haltingly, Peter kneeled down next to her. He wanted to reach out, wrap his arms around her, pull her close and never let anything touch her again. But that was no longer his place, his right. Feeling awkward, he settled for putting one arm around her shoulders, a friend’s comfort rather than a lover’s. “Fuck, Ginger, I’m sorry,” he said, whispering the words into her hair. “I don’t mean to... I’m so sorry.”

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-08 07:52 am UTC (link)
She just sat there on the ground, crying. Ginger was not a crier. And she definitely never cried in front of people, not even Peter. She kept things like that to herself because she hated to seem weak, but this, all of this, was far too much all at once.
She hadn't noticed him sit down next to her, her face still buried in her hands as she tried to force herself to calm down, which seemed to work in reverse and make it all worse. So, when he put his arm around her, it startled her and she looked up to see him there. All pain and guilt and falling apart almost as much as she was. It hurt, seeing him that way. But it hurt more knowing he was the one causing her to be this way. Because she never really realized how much his she had allowed herself to be. And all of this, here, and now, it was crushing her. There were a million things she wanted to say, but she couldn't make her voice work, too choked up by her own tears. So instead, she just leaned against him, hid her face in his side, and stayed quiet.

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-08 08:49 am UTC (link)
She didn’t even say anything, just leaned into him, her tears wetting his shirt. If anything that made him feel even more tense, because this was Ginger - fierce and bold and never taking crap from anyone, him least of all. He’d never seen her like this before, not in all the time they’d been together. She was the strong one. And he - he had broken her.

Peter felt sick - this was what he was afraid of, what he’d meant when he’d told Rose and Lexi that he was terrified of hurting Andrew. He’d always, always tried to keep from letting people close, because sooner or later, someone got hurt. Because no one else deserved to have to deal with him and all the absolute shit that came out of being close to him.

Once upon a time, he had let Ginger in, let her become more than a quick fling. Her spark and snap had intrigued him, her free spirit not something he wanted to tame, but something he wanted because he’d thought if anyone could get close to him and not get burned, it would be her. They’d been volatile, combative, best friends and trusted enemies all in one... and he had loved her. And he had as good as killed her. And now, he was breaking her heart.

“It’ll be alright,” he murmured, hardly even thinking about the empty, clichéd platitude, just needing to say something. “You’ll be alright, Ginger, we’ll sort it out.” Fuck if he knew how. But he owed her... after everything he’d put her through, he fucking owed her.

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-08 08:58 am UTC (link)
It took her a few moe minutes, but finally, Ginger managed to gather herself into some semblance of composure. She pulled away from Peter, gently sliding his arm from her shoulders and pushed herself up to her feet, swiping her hand under each eye quickly. "I just....want to go get a shower and go to bed." she said simply, staring at him, more blank than she'd probably ever been.

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-08 09:49 am UTC (link)
Peter felt completely wrung out emotionally, and looking up at Ginger standing over him, her face, her eyes... he couldn’t read them. She had to still be completely furious and hurt and scared and confused; there was no getting around that. He couldn’t do anything for her, except to get her to the shelter of the complex, to the simple shower and bed she'd requested.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he stood up again. He fidgeted, feeling like a miserable schoolboy for a moment, uncertain if he should offer her his hand again. After a moment, he just started walking, leaving his hand free if she wanted to take it, but not pushing for the contact that he still secretly wanted. The watchfulness from earlier didn't seem so important now, which was foolhardy, but Peter just couldn't deal with it right now. He kept his face downcast, eyes on the pavement, except to steal sideways glances to make sure she was still walking with him.

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-08 02:53 pm UTC (link)
She walked beside him in silence. She wanted to grab his hand, to ensure she wasn't going to lose him, but she couldn't bring herself the actually take his hand. She wasn't sure she could actually stand to touch him right now.

There were hundreds of things running through her mind and she couldn't slow it down. She just couldn't make any sense of it any more. She just kept telling herself that maybe it would be better tomorrow, somehow.

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-08 08:54 pm UTC (link)
For a few minutes, neither of them spoke as they walked, each lost in their own troubled thoughts. They were maybe two blocks away from the complex when Peter’s mobile buzzed in his pocket, startling him. He stopped walking and fished it out, his heavy frown softening as he saw who the text was from. Andrew. Of course.

He looked sideways over at Ginger, wanting to open the text. He wanted to read it so bad right now, to see his boyfriend’s words. He wanted to go home and curl up with Andrew on the couch, to just pretend for a moment that the rest of the world didn’t exist; only them. His phone buzzed again in his palm with another incoming text - Andrew again.

Peter tucked the phone back in his pocket for now. He’d read it and reply in a minute, once they’d gotten inside. The phone buzzed in his pocket again, and Peter’s frown deepened once more. He hoped Andrew wasn’t panicking and/or worrying. Another buzz, and Peter sighed, figuring that was probably a forlorn hope. But now was not the time to start texting his boyfriend, not with Ginger watching, not after everything he’d just told her.

However, the texts had reminded him of something else he needed to straighten out before anything else. “I need a favor, Ginger. And I’m sorry, I know I’ve no right to ask, but it’s not for me.” He didn’t say who it was meant for. She wouldn’t give a fuck. “Please don’t say anything to anyone, about me and him. No one’s meant to know.” Not yet, at any rate, he promised himself.

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-08 09:46 pm UTC (link)
When he spoke, she tensed. Even his voice was setting her on edge. How was she supposed to live like this? This was ridiculous. It was horrible. As she considered what he said, she sighed.

"No one's meant to kniow?" she repeated, confusion in her voice, written across her face. "But...why? Why on earth would you hide your new special boy from the world?" There was a bit of anger in that comment, and a whole lot of bitterness. But the truth was, hiding wasn't Peter's style and this simply did not make sense with her view of the man standing in front of her. The man who, apparently, had changed into someone she didn't even know any more.

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-09 12:13 am UTC (link)
Because this was all new for Andrew and Peter didn’t want to push. Because they had wanted to keep things just between them for a bit. Because everyone else would have made a big fucking deal and Andrew didn’t like the attention. Because Andrew never asked for much, and the privacy that he so valued was the least Peter could offer him. All those reasons spinning through his head were old news for him, things he’d said to Rose and Epiphany and Spike on several occasions.

But, just looking at her, seeing the disbelief in her eyes as she stared at him, he knew right then he couldn’t say them to Ginger. Not without adding insult to injury and hurting her even more. So instead, his expression pleading for to not push and his voice as gentle as he could manage, he said, “Because he asked me to. Please, Ginger. I won’t ask for anything else.”

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-09 04:50 am UTC (link)
She stared at him for a long moment, chewing on her lip. Who would she tell? She didn't know anyone else anyway. She didn't exactly feel like being social at the moment anyway. But she couldn't say no. She was too confused and hurt to care enough about it. "Fine," she sighed, staring at the ground between them. "But I'm not doing it for him."

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-02-09 10:03 am UTC (link)
He nodded, biting his lip. He knew full well, and would have even if she hadn’t said so, that she didn’t give a fuck how any of this affected Andrew. And on some level, he felt even worse, using her affection for him to his advantage when she was already hurting. It wasn’t intentional, or meant to be cruel, but the fact was that he knew very well that the only reason she agreed was because he’d asked. “I understand. Thank you,” he murmured quietly.

There was nothing else he could really say then. There was still a lot that needed said, a lot of questions he’d have to answer for her, things they needed to sort out, but it could wait. It would have to wait. Still, he hesitated a moment, started to say something. “Ginger, I...” and he faltered. He what? He was sorry. He still cared for her. He was glad she was alive, that she had a second chance. But right now, for Ginger, no matter how much he meant them, the words were only words, and not welcome ones. He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. Then he turned without saying anything, and started walking again.

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-02-09 03:07 pm UTC (link)
She nodded, but had nothing further to say on the matter. She would keep quiet, but she didn't have to be happy about it. And she wouldn't be. And she wasn't going to like this guy, Andrew. She would probably not ever be able to even be civil with him, so more than anything, she'd just have to ignore him. And she knew that might hurt Peter and as much as she didn't want to do that, it would hurt him more if she went all volatile on this guy. So staying away was the smartest plan all around.

He started to speak, but he fell quiet before much more than her name had come out of his mouth. "What, Peter?" she muttered softly, her voice rather flat. She hadn't been in this place for very long, but already she was emotionally drained and it was obvious--in the expression on her face, the tone of her voice, the way she carried herself.

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[info]smokingmagician
2013-07-23 12:06 am UTC (link)
He heard the dead tone to her voice and held back a wince. He'd pushed too hard. She didn't need this right now, shouldn't serve as a sounding board for his guilty conscience. She'd been through more than enough because of him already.

Biting back a sigh, he paused, turning around to face her again. "It doesn't matter, right now," he said, as kindly as he could. "Sorry. We can talk about it later, if you want to. Let's just get to the complex and get you set up. Shower, clothes, bed, all that." He held out his hand, offering but not demanding.

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[info]onefiercebitch
2013-07-28 09:00 pm UTC (link)
She waited, looking at him expectantly, wondering what he was thinking, but at the same time not entirely caring either. She was a mix bag of emotions just then and she didn't really know which one to pick to stick on for the moment, so instead she was all of them and that was just confusing.

"Yeah, sure," she said with a slight nod. She hesitated for a moment before taking his hand, "Let's do that." she didn't talk the rest of the way to the complex. Didn't need to. Everything that needed to be said for now, had been said. The rest could come later.

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