yelena (wasrealtome) wrote in valloic, @ 2023-01-27 21:39:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !: network post, marvel: kate bishop, marvel: yelena belova, ₴ inactive: james rogers, ₴ inactive: leon orcot, ₴ inactive: steve rogers |
This place seems to attract the most fucked of them all so asking if everyone is okay is probably out of the question. Even if you thought you were okay, being told 'don't feel guilt' brings back all those memories.
I used to feel guilt for the many lives I had ruined. (At least until Leon told me to suck it up in a very Leon-version-of-nice way.) I get it, it wasn't me... I was mind controlled by a psycho, I was raised from childhood that way along with a bunch of other young girls to become killers and spies. It didn't makes me feel like the losses were not at least partially on my hands too. But I'm dealing with it. I have been dealing with it. And I am fully prepared to let everyone know all the things about Dreykov in case he comes through and somehow gets in our heads again. So you can help deal with him.
I just have to keep telling myself I'm not a killer. I was just robbed of a life, of a childhood.
I have slowly started to come to terms with that part of my life, that now I can fully confess my other guilt which is that the sweater that Kate lost months ago along with Natasha's high heels were borrowed by me and I lost them along the way. I let them think there were Vallo gnomes that made their way in and stole them.