InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "It's French...we're frenching."

Kíli could have anything down his trousers. (_kili_) wrote in valarnet,
@ 2014-03-01 16:40:00

Entry tags:

anna of arendelle, dani moonstar (mirage), gabriel, glados, kevin flynn, kili, lara croft, legolas, mayuri kurotsuchi, mischa lecter, rarity, tauriel, wade wilson (deadpool)

SO THIS MUST BE THE VALAR NET! I'M KILI. HELLO!

Sorry. Caps lock. Still, that's fitting? My family's a bit on the loud side of things!

Anyway. Right. Valar net! I've heard quite a lot about it and anyone seems able to post on here. Takes all types, doesn't it? So I'm going to post and ask if there's anywhere to find work. Before my mother really does kick me out on my bum, since I had to bust through the front door when my brother and I lost the house key again.

Most specifically, my brother took out the window and I did in the door. He did tell me that it was easier to fix a window, but I didn't listen. I DID almost bust my hand to bits in the process, before I finally kicked it just so. I think my way was the less messy way, since I would rather clean up splintered wood than a whole lot of glass. That stuff's cutty.

Again. Jobs. Are there any out there? Ones that aren't incredibly boring? I tend to take matters into my own hands when I'm bored and no one wants that!

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_kili_
2014-03-02 07:15 am UTC (link)

What? The challenge of throwing food to hungry workers? OK! We'll be there and we're skipping breakfast.

Also? Carrots aren't green so they can't count! It's the green leafy things that are ick! It also doesn't fly that far if you throw them, since I'd imagine they'd flap and flop. If you enjoy challenges, then you'll probably find a way to fold them up into leafy green airplanes and fly them across the room.

That's horrifying.

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sweetestheart
2014-03-02 07:55 am UTC (link)

That might only work on Saturdays when I'm there for breakfast. Any other day I won't be there until noon when the lunch rush occurs and good luck getting food then.

I really need to hire on extra help...

Kili, I don't know how to break this to you, but carrots count as a vegetable. They even have cute little green leaves on the top. When puréed or mashed the green leafy stuff does fly far and while vegetable origami does sound like intriguing concept, I will have to pass.

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_kili_
2014-03-02 07:59 am UTC (link)

Oh right, well...we'll be bringing lunch with us unless you throw it, and then we'll eat what you throw. As long as it's not smushed up green things. Then we'll pass.

I wish I could help? I don't know how to cook and when I try, I set things on fire! Which is fine, because the best things to eat are flame broiled.

No, no noooo! Even I know that you take the green off before you shove it in with some meat, and it soaks up the important meaty bits like it should and a fair amount of salt, and that makes it a not-a-veggie.

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sweetestheart
2014-03-02 08:36 am UTC (link)

I only throw food if you mess up my cakes; otherwise, you can be served it like a normal person.

Yeah, you're not stepping even remotely near my stove.

I tend to be rather territorial about my kitchen so I don't plan on sharing it with an apprentice. Rather I am seeking a front counter assistance. Someone to run the front counter, take orders, and assist customers with their purchases while I'm working in the back. Some of orders can be surprising time-consumingly intricate to bake and decorate.

I have a college student who could do it part-time.

I am telling you, regardless of the meat flavored stock it soaks up in the stew, a carrot is still classified a root vegetable.

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_kili_
2014-03-02 08:46 am UTC (link)

Understood! We usually pass food to one another that way, but that's only in the safety and sanctity of our own home. Feel free to give us cake like normal people!

I won't touch the stove. And I wish I knew more about cakes and food and things, but all I do is eat it, and standing in one spot behind a front counter would drive me a little bit insane. Luckily you've got that college student!

...and now I can't eat carrots ever again.

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sweetestheart
2014-03-02 08:59 am UTC (link)

I have an extra textbook I assign my first year culinary students to develop the essentials for cooking and it contains some basic recipes, if you really want to learn you, Kili, you are more than welcome to have it.

I don't blame you. Standing in one place can be tedious. Luckily, in this business, there's always something else that needs to be done.

Oh, stop it. Knowing what it is doesn't change a thing. Besides, it is good for your eyes benefits for your hand-eye coordination for catching.

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_kili_
2014-03-02 09:04 am UTC (link)

That's quite alright! I might give it to my mother though, because otherwise we live off barbeque quite happily and maybe she can...throw something more than salt on it before it hits the fire.

It changes everything, because now it's made carrots into nasty vegs that I don't want in my mouth. I'll stick with potato, which is better to throw anyway because it's got more heft to it.

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	_kili_ 2014-03-02 09:18 am UTC (link)
	I also have chewable gummy bear vitamins (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sweetestheart 2014-03-02 09:25 am UTC (link)
	Not quite the same but that helps. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	sweetestheart 2014-03-02 09:24 am UTC (link)
	I'm certain she will love it. A good barbeque sauce is usually great start. Um, Kili, a potato is... you know what, nevermind. It is aerodynamic, I will grant you that and it splats in a satisfactory manner. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

_kili_
2014-03-02 09:44 am UTC (link)

You know what? We COULD use a good barbeque sauce. I will give that to her. Thanks a lot!

A potato is the world's most perfect edible projectile. They do go splat. Especially if it was a hot potato with butter on it. Which turns it into a weapon capable of inflicting burns, which in turn makes it one of the best things ever.

I like the gummy vitamins. They're better than carrots.

I suppose I'll meet with you very soon, Miss Lecter!

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	sweetestheart 2014-03-02 03:25 pm UTC (link)
	You are most welcome. Again, reason two as to why you're not coming into my kitchen: Hot potatoes. Although, I could make a hearty stew and if I make this for you and your brother and you pick out the carrots I will be very insulted. I look forward to it, Kili-of-the-impossibly-difficult-to-pronounce-name. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_kili_ 2014-03-02 07:28 pm UTC (link)
	Banned from yet another kitchen! Such is my fate! I wouldn't pick them out? Where would I put them? We're not outside, so I can't plop them on the ground. I'll simply eat around them all! I'll also have to see if Fili can help, but he might laugh at me and then you get the unsensible part of us building your things instead. See you soon! (Reply to this) (Parent)

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