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[Apr. 8th, 2008|12:25 am] |
. . . Okay, who the fuck decided to play Wizard of Oz with my car, WITH ME IN IT?
SO not fucking funny |
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[Apr. 5th, 2008|12:30 pm] |
Well, that was certainly interesting.
I know the weather said prepare for scattered showers, but didn't say a damn thing about scattered miniature tornadoes.
I'm certainly not going to complain about trading Chicago for London though, been a while since I've been to London for anything besides work.
Still a mite confused though, help a girl out? |
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[Mar. 15th, 2008|07:16 pm] |
I think it's time to buy a new car.
Anybody know where I can get a good one, cheap? |
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[Mar. 15th, 2008|01:03 pm] |
Okay, I need a break.
What's there to do for fun around here, anyway? Think 'the furthest thing from studying' you can get. |
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[Mar. 13th, 2008|03:07 pm] |
Contrary to popular belief, it is possible for a white boy to play the blues. I swear by my own two hands and the voice box the dear Lord gave me that this much is true. I soaked it right off of a musician last night when attending an open mic at the pub down the street from my place. I didn't mean to, but what can be said?
That said, can and will are two completely separate action verbs. Can I sing-slash-play the blues? Yes. Will I? If I had something to complain about. Maybe I'll talk about Saint Patty's day last year - not that any particularly bad thing happened on that day, but I can make something up.
Who wants to make plans for Saint Patty's day THIS year? Anyone? I'm not above taking complete strangers out if it means getting smashed on the one holiday a year I condone it. Outside of the new year, and possibly Lupercalia. |
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[Mar. 10th, 2008|11:10 pm] |
The fun is over. That's rather depressing, innit?
This is why I never drink soda, among a great many other health-related reasons. Although I do have to wonder what the Lord would have graced me with if I'd been a woman.
Congratulations, PepsiCo. If I ever once thought about drinking your product, there is no chance of that ever happening in the future. With me, and quite possibly half of the entire population of the planet. Bless your souls. |
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[Mar. 9th, 2008|08:59 pm] |
Several of you are surely going through a time of confusion while you're adjusting to these changes. If you ever need someone to talk to, someone to sit you down and show you the ropes.. if you ever need someone to give you spontaneous and heavenly orgasms, I'm your man.
Line up outside my office, and know that I know what I'm doing when you walk in.
I really do have an office. You should see what I use as a paperweight. |
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[Mar. 5th, 2008|01:16 pm] |
. . . Wow.
I have boobs now. |
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[Jan. 20th, 2008|09:14 pm] |
What sorcery is this? |
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[Jan. 16th, 2008|11:51 pm] |
Ya know, this naked thing is really underrated.
I could get used to this. |
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[Jan. 14th, 2008|05:56 pm] |
I have a camera.
This is the best weird thing ever. |
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[Jan. 14th, 2008|08:53 pm] |
Um. Houston, we have a problem. |
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[Jan. 14th, 2008|08:09 pm] |
. . .
Oooooh. |
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[Jan. 14th, 2008|05:27 pm] |
Is this normal, to look and feel ten years younger than I did yesterday in this crazy place? Because wow, folks. I have not had one of those quite as exuberant as all that upon first waking up in a very long time. If I'd rolled over onto my stomach I might have been able to push-ups with it. |
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[Jan. 14th, 2008|04:24 pm] |
Great. Just.. great. I didn't think that astral projection was supposed to actually move your body. |
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[Jan. 13th, 2008|08:10 pm] |
What the hell? |
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[Jan. 13th, 2008|05:02 pm] |
The whole swirly dust devil thing in the sky has never happened before. We don't have weather like that where I'm from, okay, so I'm just a little freaked at the moment. I didn't want to relive a scene from the one movie where they chase tornadoes all the time because the guy has a tortured past with weather, not unless Cary Elwes circa '96 is going to rescue me.
This is someone's fault. Weather is always someone's fault. |
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