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[Apr. 9th, 2012|08:07 pm] |
Y'know, I've pulled some pretty messed up pranks in my day, but I've never knocked a guy out, put his brain in a meatsack, and left him on a primitive planet before. That's just low.
So where the hell do you hairless apes keep the interstellar taxis? |
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[Apr. 8th, 2012|10:49 am] |
This muggle holiday is choc full of interesting traditions, wouldn't I say? |
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[Apr. 3rd, 2012|11:29 am] |
Cook? Where the fuck are we? I didn't agree to London. |
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[Apr. 2nd, 2012|07:55 am] |
It's been a lot of months now since we've had any of the band here.
I think it's safe to say we can stop waiting for them and get off our tenterhooks. If anyone needs me, I'm going to go find a second job. |
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[Mar. 31st, 2012|11:38 pm] |
What. The. Fuck. I kind of want to say that I am completely hallucinating here because a lot of crazy shit has happened in the last 24 hours, but that felt too real to not be true. Can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on here? Why am I sitting in a cafe in the middle of London wearing my wedding dress? |
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[Mar. 31st, 2012|12:26 am] |
If I were to start a pillow fight in London in - oh, say, half an hour - who would want in on this? |
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[Mar. 16th, 2012|11:20 pm] |
Oh, boy. Group project at school. IE: LET'S MAKE INERTIAA DO EVERYTHING SHE'S SMART.
I hate people my age. It's enough to make a girl just debate hiding in her room. |
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[Mar. 9th, 2012|09:56 pm] |
Oz-man. Ozzaman? Ozzie? OZZIE OZZIE OI OI OI. ... sorry.
Oz!
We should start a band. My cousin's in one, and I have band envy, which is like penis envy, only way less stupid and silly. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2012|10:40 am] |
This world just got a lot more awesome. Alice would freak at half the things I've done. |
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[Feb. 28th, 2012|03:19 pm] |
[Filtered to Cute Single-ish Girls Between the Ages 17-25 who are not members of the press, law enforcement, or in any way likely to snitch to the Queen of England]
There's going to be a party this Friday, and you're cordially invited. There'll be booze, good music, and booze. You should be there. |
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[Feb. 24th, 2012|04:32 pm] |
So, um, now that I'm the father of a sixteen-year-old girl... does anyone have any tips? I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm the youngest in my family, so I don't even have any siblings to go off of. |
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[Feb. 16th, 2012|10:20 pm] |
But... but I didn't want to go back in time. If anything, going forward seems like it would be more fun. Less germs. |
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