| A FEARLESS SPORK SQUAD HALLOWEEN SHINDIG SPECTACULAR: JACK CHICK'S "STINKY" |
[Oct. 30th, 2010|10:32 pm] |
Delcat: Zeiss, the trick-or-treaters are almost here. Are we good on candy? I picked up an extra bag of Clit-o-Honeys, but I don't know if it'll be enough.
Zeiss Manifold: What, you want these kids to break their teeth? That stuff's like biting into granite Kix. Gummi dongs, on the other hand...kids love the taste and moms love the lack of opaqueness when they get to checking the candy for razors and shit.
Zeiss Manifold: And SPEAKING of something completely opaque, we've got a Chick tract to finish up!
Delcat: They were all sold out of most of the good shit, man. I nearly got trampled getting the last box of Pop Cocks.
Delcat: I think they're defective, too, they go off way before you put them in your mouth.
Delcat: Must we really? God, I think watching Saw VI again would be less painful, and I do not say that lightly.
Zeiss Manifold: It's for the children.
Delcat: Stupid children.
Zeiss Manifold: Stinky children.
( Part Two ) |
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| A FEARLESS SPORK SQUAD HALLOWEEN SHINDIG SPECTACULAR: JACK CHICK PRESENTS "STINKY" |
[Oct. 26th, 2010|10:53 pm] |
Zeiss Manifold: Ahoy, sporkers and sporquettes! It's getting near Halloween in our time zone - and coincidentally, in Jack Chick's as well.
Delcat: Again? Hasn't he done like five Halloween tracts already?
Zeiss Manifold: Even despite Chick's best-laid plans, there just keep on being more Halloweens.
Delcat: Look, I'm not gonna lie to anyone, here, Halloween is all about teaching kids about the joys of unfettered, high-fructose-corn-syrup-laden hedonism. BUT IT IS OUR GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO DO SO!
Delcat: P.S. gentle viewers, one of us was born on Halloween and grew up in a fundie church with all the baggage that entails. This is gonna be a fun one.
Zeiss Manifold: Today's tract is "Stinky", about how even YOU can find eternal life with the help of Jesus, and more importantly, Jack Chick publications. Buy stock in tracts today!
Delcat: "Stinky"?
( Part One ) |
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| JACK CHICK CASE FILES - "CRAZY WOLF" |
[Apr. 4th, 2010|09:26 am] |
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| JACK CHICK CASE FILES - "EVIL EYES" |
[Apr. 4th, 2010|08:59 am] |
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| JACK CHICK CASE FILES - "THE LONG TRIP" |
[Apr. 3rd, 2010|11:02 am] |
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| JACK CHICK CASE FILES: THE HUNTER |
[Mar. 30th, 2010|11:03 am] |
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| JACK CHICK TRACTS: NO FEAR |
[Mar. 24th, 2010|02:31 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | auto-erotic asphyxiation, backwards cats, bad touches, chick tracts, delcat, doing it on a friday night, fang, final solutions, fundies, ink_weaver, pickles, sodomy demons, yaaaaaaaaaaah, zeiss manifold | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | fiery | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Barenaked Ladies--Inline Bowline | ] |
Hey, snarkgoers! Would you like a worksafe equivalent of our dickgirl shenanigans? Well, you're not gonna get it on a comm that has weeping dicks as a background, I dunno what you were smokin' there, but we do snark vanilla shit sometimes. Especially Chick tracts. God do we love Chick tracts.
We're not the first and maybe not the best at this--that honor goes to Jabberwocky, so be sure to visit Campfire of the Vanities for a more intellectual (but still hilarious) look at the Chick phenomenon. And by "phenomenon", I mean "bullshit and fuckery". Our snark has 187% more YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, however, so don't go too far!
In this tract, we tackle one of the biggest problems young people face today: Sodomy demons--are they bad? The answer may surprise you.
( We toyed with tyin' the noose, no one knew he'd give it use ) |
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