Tweak

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Tweak says, "Come on in, the water's fine"

stephanie nashton does it all (forthem) wrote in rooms,
@ 2014-10-19 23:07:00

Entry tags:

!tales, *journal, *log, barbara gordon, bruce wayne, damian wayne, death, eddie nigma, helena wayne, selina kyle, stephanie brown

selina k, bats & birds, muerte, eddie n
[All of this is handwritten in her messy, girlish hand.]

[locked to selina k.]

Meow.

[locked to batfam+]

Mandatory check-in. I'm living with a squat, old witch who insists on making me learn how to cook frog stew. Now your turn.

[locked to muerte.]

[She's not sure if this will go through, but she can't help but try. Pen press then eventually:] Hi.

[locked to eddie n.]

[She's been gone most of the day with Agnes. Eventually, midway through the afternoon he gets this locked to him.]

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Re: nashtons quicklog

riddlethem
2014-10-21 07:10 am UTC (link)

[He raised a single finger up in the air.] We'll put this under lessons learnt and try not to hurt each other like we did this year. [Eddie smiled at the tug, all warm like honey and he tugged her back down towards the grassy ground. Why even bother trying to get up anymore? All he wanted was to be in her arms, to roll around on the grass until their skin stained with green and dew drops.] I'll never abuse you and I'll never cheat on you, Stephanie Nashton. [And, that? That sounded like a vow.]

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Re: nashtons quicklog

forthem
2014-10-21 07:23 am UTC (link)

[An affirmative nod, and she smiled brightly when he pulled her down to the dewy grass. Arms wrapping around his shoulders and one leg hitching up so that her thigh pressed against his hip. Like they weren't in the middle of some forest surrounded by curious little fairies.] Noted. We could put it into the post-nup if you want. [She nudged her nose to his and tried to tease a kiss out of him.] We can add all of that to the post-nup. And any other vows you want to make right now.

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Re: nashtons quicklog

riddlethem
2014-10-21 07:37 am UTC (link)

[The tease for a kiss worked. He tilted his chin up and pressed his lips against hers, deepening the kiss with only a beat-beat of hesitation from his clockwork heart. Oh, letting her back in so fast wasn't the plan, it was never how he wanted this to go. He thought that not touching would make them understand each other, but the opposite was true. Her in his arms made him see her for what she was, made their problems tangible. Fixable. Someday soon, he promised and she could feel it in his heartbeat. It was a thread of trust he wanted to tangle back up inside his head and just couldn't.] Honestly, baby, I can't even remember our vows in the first place. [He teased and then looked up at her.] I vowed to be good to you. I already broke that.

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Re: nashtons quicklog

forthem
2014-10-21 07:52 am UTC (link)

[A noise rumbled out of her throat, eyes drifting shut and fingers tangling in his hair at the nape of his neck. She shouldn't have let go so easily, she should have been strong for the both of them, but Stephanie was so hungry for his affection she couldn't deny herself it if he was giving it to her. It was reaffirmation that things were getting better. Not good, not fixed, but better. Her blue eyes were cloudy with a want for something more, for him, but she just kissed the corner of his mouth. Softly.] We could renew our vows. Right here and now, we could do it. [Her hands smoothed over his shoulders, and she kissed the corner of his jaw.] We could make new ones.

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Re: nashtons quicklog

riddlethem
2014-10-21 07:59 am UTC (link)

[There was a very innocent run of his fingers up her thigh and under that fairy dress. It had been a long time since he had been that bold and frankly he missed touching her ass. It was arguably his favorite part of her body and it had been a self-sanctioned off limits since things imploded with them.] I don't think I see the point in vows anymore. [Eddie whispered and there was so much clarity in his dark eyes. That genius shining through for only her to see.] Why would I ask you to always love me? What if I get worse? What if I lose my mind?

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Re: nashtons quicklog

forthem
2014-10-21 08:16 am UTC (link)

[Steph tried to frown at his wandering hand, but the line wibbled into something pleased and even a little smarmy in a way that usually reflected in his dark brown eyes. She could sense that clarity, that understanding from him, and it washed over her in pleasant waves that almost made her seem assured herself. Still, she shook her head.] But I'll still love you. I'm always going to love you, in spite of everything. [Her voice had dropped to a whisper too, like they were sharing secrets that would stay in this forest forever if they were too loud. A hand skated down his front, and she tried to remember the grooves and etches of muscle and scars across his body.] I don't think vows are pointless. But I do think they shouldn't be the focus. We know what to do. We know what we need.

[She caught his mouth in another embrace, this one needy and pushing like he was giving her life just through his kiss. Before they could get too carried away, however, one of the fairies flew overhead and cleared her throat. Steph separated their lips with a pop and looked over Eddie's shoulder at the little creature overhead. Instead of saying anything though, she flitted off, sparkling lights and bells tinkling. A dust of magic left in her wake for the Nashtons to follow. The blonde on the ground raised her eyebrow up and then glanced at Eddie in a silent question.]

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Re: nashtons quicklog

riddlethem
2014-10-21 09:06 am UTC (link)

I don't want this to end up like typical Gotham love. When it gets to that point, it stops being about the other person. It turns into taking. [And Eddie had enough taking from her to last a lifetime. He still remembered what it felt like to feast on her soul, on her life. His mouth turned down into a serious frown and he looked older. Mature beyond what he normally allowed anyone to see.] If things get bad, I want you to leave. I want you to cut those ties. This love isn't worth your life, no love is. I want you to be strong and happy and good, with or without me.

[He knew she'd never agree, but planting the seed in her mind had to be enough. When the fairy twinkled behind them, he turned to look at it annoyed that it was interrupting this nice make out session. Eddie hadn't been with Stephanie in months and this right here, rolling around in the grass, was as close as they ever got. How dare that fairy ruin things?] Goddamnit. [He murmured and knew his curiosity would take over eventually.]

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Re: nashtons quicklog

forthem
2014-10-21 04:34 pm UTC (link)

[Stephanie blinked up at him, lips dipping into a frown as well. Because she didn't ever think it'd get that bad. Bad enough for her to have to leave, for her to lose her life. She shook her head in dissonance, in almost disbelief, and touched his jaw gently.] It's never going to get there, baby. I trust you, okay? I trust you. [She shook her head again before rolling her eyes affectionately at his frustration. It had been a long time since there had been anything as playful and daring as this, but she felt like there was actually a chance to recapture that now. That this wouldn't just be a string cut off and left to dangle.]

C'mon. [She smiled, kissing the corner of his mouth before nudging him off of her and rolling off the ground. Somehow, the grass and dirt just enhanced her look, and she only brushed off the biggest bits before holding her hand out to Eddie, not even bothering to put on her slippers again.] Let's go see what the fuck this is about. [The fairy's flight left a trail easy enough to follow and lead to a curiously glowing tree with sap oozing out of the orifices. The fairy was there, waving with a smirk towards one of the lines of sap dripping down. Steph wrinkled her eyebrows together, but stepped forward to touch the sticky mess.]

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Re: nashtons quicklog

riddlethem
2014-10-21 04:53 pm UTC (link)

[He tried to protest that it could, that he didn't know if things were going to stay good, but she wasn't going to hear it, was she? Eddie didn't know if in the depths of being a terrible human being he could tell her to get out while she still could, so he had to do it now, right? And, he trusted Stephanie not to hang onto something bad. It just wasn't written into her canon.]

Alright, alright. [Eddie followed after her, adjusting his clothes and brushing off pieces of grass. He stopped at the sticky sap tree and gave the fairy a look.] You interrupted a make out session for this? [Eddie asked and immediately swiped his finger in the amber goo, popping it in his mouth without caring if it was dangerous or not. Sticking weird stuff in his mouth wasn't anything new.]

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Re: nashtons quicklog

forthem
2014-10-21 05:14 pm UTC (link)

Eddie! [She chastised, waving her hand at him and trying to grab his hand before he popped it in his mouth. Completely failing, of course.] Baby. [She grabbed his wrist and looked at him with wide blue eyes. Maybe she shouldn't have been surprised but there she was. Worried and concerned and pissed that she didn't stop him in time. But she rolled her eyes all the same, taking his hand in hers and tugging.] You can just push me up on one of these trees. [She eyed him like she was waiting for something weird or bad to happen.]

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Re: nashtons quicklog

riddlethem
2014-10-21 06:36 pm UTC (link)

[He chuckled and popped the finger out of his mouth victoriously. And, then it hit him like he accidentally turned on the shower when he meant to turn on the tub. A burst of lingering sadness, worry and that tiny glow of love. Eddie snatched his arm back because he didn't know what was happening, he didn't know where that feeling came from. A moment passed and he carefully touched her skin with the very tip of his finger. Empty, regret and guilt he did remember feeling when he feasted on her life.

Eddie frowned. He understood what the sap was for.] I'm doing this to you. [And, he felt horrible for how he felt all too suddenly. Like everything he had done in the past few months was wrong and only served to hurt her. He considered lying about trusting her, just to make that feeling go away. But, she'd be able to tell, right? He was screwed.]

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Re: nashtons quicklog

forthem
2014-10-22 04:37 am UTC (link)

[Stephanie's eyes widened when he snatched his arm, but she didn't step away. She just regarded him with curious blue eyes and tried not to look like she'd just been electrocuted. Because she wasn't aware at first of what happened, or what he was feeling. She just thought it was a reaction to the sap, and she was preparing herself to have to heal him all over again if she had to. But he touched her again, and that frown had her heart racing, and she shook her head.] No. [Another adamant shake of her head, and she grabbed the hem of his shirt so he wouldn't have to touch her again if he didn't want.] You aren't allowed to blame yourself. No.

[She tugged his shirt. Sure, there was that lingering hurt and pain, that feeling of being completely lost. The underlying feeling of waves upon waves crashing into her and drowning her. But there was a wash of good emotions, too. Her undying love for him in spite of everything. That pesky bit of hope that never really disappeared. The faith that they would be okay. Washing over her and mingling with all those negatives. And yes, determination. A burning fire in the pit of her stomach that wasn't going to give up just because they were dealt a bad hand. There were better than that, and Stephanie was going to fix them.]

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Re: nashtons quicklog

riddlethem
2014-10-22 04:55 am UTC (link)

See this is what I'm talking about. [Eddie only saw an abusive man through the lens of her feelings. He saw a man that took and then hurt when he couldn't have what he wanted. Her hurt invalidated his, didn't? The riddled man was always bordering on psychopath (right?) and he knew that meant his feelings were all wrong. That he should have always trusted her. That he should have stayed on his drugs and tried so fucking hard to drown out the sharpness he was craving.]

I can't- I don't deserve any of this, Stephanie. At the end of the day, I'm just an Arkham hound pretending I can be a house pet. But, I can't. I can feel everything. Look at all the fucking damage I did. [Eddie looked at her blues as the burning feeling of determination brewed in her belly and he wondered if this was really any fucking different from Harley and Joker or the Cat and Bat. If she had fallen into the same trap every woman in Gotham did eventually.] Stop with the fixing thing. Stop it, Stephanie. I'm not a fucking watch. [Eddie pulled out of her grip and stumbled out of the fairy forest.]

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Re: nashtons quicklog

forthem
2014-10-22 05:12 am UTC (link)

Eddie, stop it. [Her voice cracked, and her hand hovered where it had gripped his shirt a moment beforehand, and she bit back a sad little whimper that threatened to slip out. Things were going so good, and here they were crumbling again. Her hand deflated, and she gave him a half a second start before bounding after him.] I'm not talking about fixing you. You don't need to be fixed, Eddie. I fucking do though. And this relationship does. You said that yourself. [Shaking her head, she ran after him, toes squishing into dirt and wet grass.] Baby, you didn't do this. Okay? You didn't.

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Re: nashtons quicklog

riddlethem
2014-10-22 05:22 am UTC (link)

[Eddie didn't get far. The rush of emotions from Stephanie sent him on a tilt-a-whirl panic attack and he dizzily slumped against a tree before falling on his hands and knees. He tried to breathe, he tried not to think about every terrible thing he had done. Everything from robbing banks to killing innocent people on accident to hurting his wife to thinking for once he had the right to feel wronged. It was easier here in the dirt and the mud and below where he always believed that he belonged. Sure, he worked for decades and decades to get attention to say me look here at ME, but deep down he knew where he belonged. He knew the good man Eddie Nashton everyone believed they saw was just another rigged carnie game.]

I did. Look. Just go back to Gotham and tell my shrink I'm on a business trip. [His voice was scarily even, like he was trying to drain everything out of it.] Tell him I need my prescription doubled. Tell him it's gotten worse. [Eddie had thought he was better, but he needed to dull everything out, didn't he? His mind was too sharp, too confusing, too bright. He had the choice between being a watered down house husband or THE RIDDLER and he chose wisely, so wisely.]

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Re: nashtons quicklog

forthem
2014-10-22 05:37 am UTC (link)

[Stephanie was shaking just a touch, and she stopped in front of him, standing for just a second before sinking to her knees just a little away from him. She reached out, but she didn't touch in case that made things worse. Her stomach turned icy cold, and she couldn't help but blame herself for this yet again. Here she was fucking things up again. Shaking her head, she folded her hands in her lap.] No, Eddie. No. You aren't going to do that. You aren't going to drown yourself out. [Because that was what he was doing, wasn't it?] That's the reason you stopped drinking. So you wouldn't do that. [She dared to touch a knee.] You aren't going to be the perfect husband. And guess what? I don't want that. I want you. [A deep sigh.] I want all the messiness that comes with having something real, something good. Neither of us are perfect, baby. We're going to hurt each other, but we have to remember what's important.

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Re: nashtons quicklog

riddlethem
2014-10-22 05:41 am UTC (link)

What's important, Stephanie? That you love me despite how terrible I am? Is that what's important? [Eddie looked up at her and she couldn't back out of it, not when he could reach into her feelings. Her love was different than his. Her love was like a Bat fighting through pain and anguish because it was the right thing to do. And, the riddled man didn't want that. He didn't want that in spite.]

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Re: nashtons quicklog

forthem
2014-10-22 05:48 am UTC (link)

No! [That frustration licked at her brain finally and bled into her words, and she punched the ground.] No, Eddie, what's important is that we love each other and we want this to work! God fucking dammit. [She rubbed her eyes in frustration.] I love you, Eddie. I love you more than I've loved anything or anyone in my entire life, and there's no one else for me. I want this to work. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Multiple lives if I got the chance. [She blinked away some angry tears and looked up at him.] I'm in pain and so are you, but if we don't hide it, if we talk about it we won't end up like the rest of Gotham. That's why we're different. We talk. And I know I'm the one who fucked that up but I'm trying so hard, Eddie. And I'm going to wait until we're okay. Better than okay. Because I want you to be my partner, my husband, the father of my babies. And I know I have to earn that back.

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Re: nashtons quicklog

riddlethem
2014-10-22 05:59 am UTC (link)

You aren't the only one who fucked up, Stephanie. If you keep putting it all on you, it's going to break you if it hasn't already. I messed up, too. I did, too goddamnit. [He could feel the sap's powers slowly draining from him, but he didn't need it anymore. He could see her and even when he would lay down on the tracks for her, she wouldn't let him. To Eddie, that either meant he wasn't the hateful creature that little part of his brain tried to tell him that he was or she was an idiot. And, Stephanie Nashton? Was no idiot.

Eddie sighed and pressed his hand into his eye to push back any tears. He breathed deeply, he focused on it and he almost missed that last part. He looked and a smile wiggled at the edge of his mouth. Suddenly the rest of it didn't really fucking matter. The pain ignored like she kissed his finger after he slammed it in a door.] You still want to have my babies?

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Re: nashtons quicklog

forthem
2014-10-22 06:08 am UTC (link)

[Stephanie sighed.] Muerte said the same thing. I'm just really, really good at blaming myself for everything, Eddie. You know that. [She knew, objectively, that there was shared guilt between the two of them. That Stephanie wasn't the only weak link in the marriage, but it was so much easier to fault herself than continue to guilt her husband. Looking down towards the ground, she focused on the dewy grass, on the dirt, on the tiny flowers blooming underneath them. Until it was that she heard that curious lilt in his voice. She blinked before looking up. Frankly, she didn't even think about what she had said, but it was true. She smiled softly, eyebrows furrowing just a touch.] Of course I do, you baboon. [And she wiped her hands on her dress before touching his face, biting back that smile and just nodding again.]

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	Re: nashtons quicklog riddlethem 2014-10-22 06:14 am UTC (link)
	[Eddie crossed his arms around his middle and leaned forward, almost like he was trying to fold himself in half.] We need to forgive each other. [He whispered and then glanced back up at her. He hadn't thought about kids in forever.] All of that felt so far away. [And, maybe that was part of the problem.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: nashtons quicklog

forthem
2014-10-22 06:24 am UTC (link)

[She dared to scooch a little closer to him, enough so that her bare knees just began to touch his clothed ones.] Kids seemed far away? [She flashed him a sad smile, and she wondered if she should be the first to go for the forgiveness train. There would still be that lingering hurt, but she trusted that he wouldn't intentionally hurt her.] I forgive you. Of course I do. [Her fingers brushed over his knee.] I'm still going to hurt for a while, and I know you're still going to be hurting for a while, but it'll be okay. It'll go away.

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Re: nashtons quicklog

riddlethem
2014-10-22 06:30 am UTC (link)

A family didn't even seem possible. [Eddie admitted, though that probably wasn't a surprise. Not only had they completely failed building the family they wanted, they stopped talking about it. How could he believe it was still in the cards? He took her hands, threading their fingers and brought them up to hold between them. Eddie looked at her and squeezed.] Thank you. I love you. [He carefully brought her hands up to his hairline and encouraged her fingers to push through, her nails to scrape his scalp.] I forgive you, too.

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Re: nashtons quicklog

forthem
2014-10-22 06:41 am UTC (link)

I love you, too. [Her fingers pushed readily through his hair, nails barely scraping against his scalp before digging a little deeper. Needling a little more. She knew that they had completely ignored the prospect of a family practically since that phone call from her doctor more than a month ago, and frankly, she hadn't thought anymore about the infertility treatments after everything that had happened. Her fingers twisted into his hair.] I'm sorry. I was-- I was just really scared, baby. Scared of failing you again, scared of something happening to me. Scared of something happening to...it.

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Re: nashtons quicklog

riddlethem
2014-10-22 06:50 am UTC (link)

[He bowed his head so she could have full range of his hair and closed his eyes. This was as close to a religious ritual they'd ever get. Something that always calmed him, something that made her connect to him. Another thread untangled and linked between the two of them. He sighed because she always caught him. She always fucking caught him. But, he never really did mind, did he?] It's okay. [And, she could feel that it was.] Let's not worry about it right now. We need to figure out our powers, figure out us and then we can worry about kids.

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Re: nashtons quicklog -

forthem, 2014-10-22 07:24 am UTC

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