Pax Letale

I know it's late, and I have no idea-

Just.

Airport. Can anyone give me a ride tomorrow? Flight leaves at 1:18pm. I need to be there by noon I think?

I have to go home for a bit.

Emergency.

Yo neighbors.

I decided I'm going to marathon the absolute most fucked up horror movies ever. Except I need some practical advice on which to add to my list.

List so far:

- Cannibal Holocaust
- Salo
- Last House on the Left (original, obviously)
- August Undergrounds Mordum
- Audition

So, what am I missing?

So I know that even though it's only the first week of August, summer's well on its way out. Which means that most people have no incentive to start a new work-out regiment because you can't very well wear bikinis to Thanksgiving dinner. But! I'm going to be starting a new cardio circuit soon and was wondering if any of you wanted a running partner. It's nice to have a partner even though you aren't really talking or interacting during the run, for motivation and stuff. I really don't like running, so I'd kind of like to have another person who isn't afraid to hit me when I'm slacking off.

I was thinking about planning a route that includes a bit on the beach. Running on soft sand is great for strength and power in the legs, and it also includes the upper body a bit more than other surfaces. So if you see this and are interested, drop me a message! My name is Riley, for the new people I've seen moving in and the not-so-new people that might have forgotten. Thanks!

Hello, all. I am Emmanuel Faucon and I have just moved into room 101. I look forward to meeting all of you.

[...]

Also, is anyone extremely allergic to peanuts?

[Locked to 201 and 301]

Was that okay? Devin, did you start this? It sounds like some of your internet protocol, to introduce yourself before you have even met people. Dinner is at 7 and we are celebrating. N a wè pita.

Does anyone here happen to have some cold medicine? It seems that it's one of those things that you just can't get delivered.

Hey, Pax pals! So you've probably noticed that I haven't been blasting my music as much lately. That's because I haven't been around. I've been at the gym, training!

On July 8, I'll be fighting Harry Barnard (or Bee-Sting Barnard, if you follow boxing) just a few blocks from the building. If anybody wants to come, I can snag free tickets for great seats, as well as entrance to the VIP rooms right before the fight. If you've never been to a boxing match and want to see what it's like, let me know! I promise it'll be a lot of fun and you'll get to see me pound Harry's ass until it's a wad of cookie dough and hey, the VIP rooms have free food. ;)

Dude

DUDE

DUDE WTF IS THIS SHIT: [Here is posted a link to a fan website dedicated to lead guitarist Merc Page of South Portal. More specifically, dedicated to his hands. There are picture galleries, forum discussions, even animated gifs. The website's name, in honor of his Hispanic background is Senor Maños, Spanish for Mr. Hands.]

[Locked to 103]

I've done research, and based on your concept that the song's most powerful when it was played with the entire band together, I challenge you with this: Why isn't the first live performance more definitive than the studio version?

( Ulster )

[After this.]

( Letter to the art gallery owner )

[The flash drive, which is slipped under the door of 103 the day after this plays has only one song on it, and it's one she uses at the hospice quite often. It also contains one text file:]

Better without the words. - 1001

Okay people, who's showing up to Simon's art gallery show? We need a crowd there. Building solidarity, and stuff.

He'll be my new mascot.

( Snuffleheffalump. )

And just when I'd started to wonder how I was going to manage an entire summer of classes, life just throws herself at me.

Now if only that were literal. Hmm...I wonder what Life would look li--

OH RIGHT. Hello to what I'm sure are my very charming not-so-roommates. Floormates? Building-mates? Needs a new word there, "neighbor" sounds far too...Sesame Street. Whatever. I'm Dorian, I just moved in on the third floor, and I might have been tempted to say I wanted to apologize in advance for the noise...

But I'm really not sorry. In any case, you'll learn to love it~

( Print slipped under the door of 901. )

Okay, I didn't get a chance to do this yesterday, so I'm Chris. I like loud movies, loud music, and not being woken up early on my very fucking rare days off, so if you've got a problem with any of that, buy earplugs and don't drop shit on my ceiling.

okay now what the fuck else do i say OH YEAH The rusted silver piece of shit Civic out in the parking lot? Mine. Scratch it, dent it, shove it into the street, whatever, and I run you over. Got it? Good.

[After several men begin work in #103, tearing out the carpet and replacing it with hardwood, putting in new cupboards and setting up to replace countertops and some similar bathroom upgrades. They play Top 40 hits pretty loudly, and along with the sound of buzz saws and male conversation, stray notes escape out of the windows out in every direction.]

Sorry about the ruckus.

[207]

Thanks, these are really great.

Sup y'all.

I'm Dev Ng in 201. I'm moving in. Yes, that's my hatchback with the Alliance sticker on the rear window. I understand I am double parked, but idgaf cause I'm moving milk crates filled with crap.

I'm not a quiet neighbor, sry2say. But I have more copies of various versions of Star Wars than anyone in a tri-state area.

Hello, new neighbors. My name is Moana, and I live [...] upstairs from all of you, I think. I will do my best to be a quiet neighbor, but in the next couple of weeks I will start getting some visitors. Don't concern yourselves with them, it's a business matter and it's best to just not worry about it. I'm sure I will meet some of you over the next few days, as I'm overseeing the moving of my furniture, so feel free to say hello, if you'd like.

I'm afraid I've come off as being unfriendly. I promise that's untrue, it's just so hard to be anything but impersonal over the internet. Face to face, I promise I'm much, much nicer.

Hello! Well, isn’t this clever. I’ve never heard of other places having a building-wide forum – now you can technically meet people twice, or just once if you opt for one or the other. I don’t mind either way, personally; if you don’t want to meet me in person, I won’t be offended, but if you do then that’s fine too.

I suppose I should introduce myself. I’m Sarah in 207, and I’m still in the process of dragging boxes up, so please excuse the possible mess in the second-floor hallway. By the way, does anyone know of any places to buy plants around here? I’m afraid mine didn’t cope too well with travelling. They don't cope too well with much of anything, actually... not anymore

Here’s a story for you.

( There once was a king who was tremendously intelligent )

…And I suppose you’re wondering why I told this story. That’s simple. The person who can tell me the best one as to where they're from and why they're here, gets a dinner on me and a story from myself. It can be as non-sensical and unreal as you like.