the order of the dragon: network.

[ TEXT MESSAGE TO VIOLET BISHOP ]

> Hope your flight to Moscow was acceptable.
> Let me know before you leave for New York.
> I'll pick you both up at the airport when you're home.

[PRIVATE MESSAGE TO ANDREA CLARK ]

They changed our instructions. I'm scoping out an illegal bionics dealer in Soho. I've got no idea why you'd set up shop in Soho, but I'm not exactly an illegal bionics dealer or anything. Anyway, it's a bag and tag.

But I want you to go in for the sting. With that ticker of yours, you seem like you're much more the type to be into illegal bionics than I am.

I have definitely been in London too long. I called my mom this morning and she says I'm picking up on the accent. My brothers are making fun of me for it, too. But I don't think I'm ready to go back to Colorado yet. :(

Maybe it's time, though. What do you all think? At what point do you have to go back home before you might as well just give up and formally move to wherever you're vacationing?

[ ALL ORDER MEMBERS, ALL BRANCHES ]

I heard they're going to move some of us. Which means Nastya is one of the some, of course. Better be somewhere good. I swear, if they put me in Hollywood with all the plastic people, I'm going to start melting faces.

Why can't all my assignments be Siberia? So nice. So quiet. No fucking people.

[ PUBLIC MESSAGE ]

Anybody else have a foreign parent? Like, from another country, speaks another language. Because I would like to start the My-Mom-Called-And-Refused-To-Let-Me-English-At-Her support group.

Anybody? Bueller?

Seriously, Russian is such an angry language. People think you're so mad. YA ZNAYOO. DA, MAMOCHKA, YA ZNAYOO. It sounds like you're angry and sick. YA ZNAYOO, oh, okay, let me get you a frigging kleenex. I don't want New York City to think I'm more of a dick than I am. But thanks, Mamochka.

[ TEXT MESSAGE TO AARON THATCHER ]

> cc threw what i thought was lemonade on her doorman
> was not lemonade
> when we move we should call a mental hospital
> but only when we move
> so we can enjoy this up until we move

[ PRIVATE MESSAGE TO GABRIEL RYAN ]

so heeeeey you know that dapper wee cat that follows me everywhere? yeah she's super cute isn't she? (the only appropriate answer is yes but i am obligated by ethnicity to accept any aye answers as well.)

anywaaaaaaay so she clawed the shit out of my hand today. tl;dr don't get near a cat on catnip. sometimes they are not okay with sharing. anyway. can you fix it or should i just plaster it up and wait?

appreciate the response.

[ PUBLIC MESSAGE ]

this is a public service announcement. if you have a cat, you should make sure they are cool before you try to touch them when they have catnip.

apparently mine is not cool. mine is the kind of high person that commits an impressive slew of crimes, tips some cows, and pisses all over public landmarks. me, i'm the kind of high person who wants a load of fucking tacos. this is the only thing my cat and i do not agree upon.

unrelated to cats and catnip and the sort of things you do when you're baked, doctor who is on!

[ PRIVATE MESSAGE: BISHOP TWINS ]

Good morning, Agents 318 and 319! (Wow, it's like you're twins.)

I have just completed my most recent mission, which consisted of delivering a message in Taiwan to a man with a Chinese alligator, who then tried to give me said Chinese alligator. Boring missions are boring, but they are less boring when people try to give you miniature maneaters.

A new mission round should be out this evening when it's convenient for Trondheim, but I was thinking in the interim you two might like to do something fun. (Yes, Violet. Even you.)

Lunch? Or maybe a film. Either way, I know a great place in Astoria. Just down the street from my residence.

[ PRIVATE MESSAGE: THE ORDER, NY BRANCH ]

Right. I can't take it anymore. Whoever is clicking that pen on floor 19 in the New York branch HQ, I will find you and I am going to put that pen where the sun doesn't shine. I dare you to keep it up.

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