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𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑎 𝑜𝑙𝑚𝑜𝑠 🌘 ([info]holyrites) wrote in [info]nevermore_logs,
@ 2021-03-19 15:54:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:luna olmos, merlin

WHO Luna & Merlin
WHEN Tuesday evening (16th March), after her run in with Kaden
WHERE Merlin's place
WHAT Just looking to feel better
WARNINGS Upset Luna times feat. mentions of Ares, Michele, Dunkin, Peitho's treatment of humans. (Generally all of Luna's past.) Consensual rough(ish) sex with a dom/sub flair.

When Luna got off the train to walk to Merlin’s house, she was still agitated, a tightness seeming to infect every part of her body. The whole trip there she had kept going over the conversation with Kaden and wondering if the turn had been her fault, or if he was always going to go off like he did. She had called him a ‘pimply prepubescent’ - yeah, maybe that had been uncalled for. But he didn’t even seem to respect that she’d done what she could to protect him.

Maybe that’s where she’d gone fucking wrong. She should have just kept her head down like she always did, instead of trying to- do what? ‘Save’ some teenage boy from a choice he already wanted to make? Who the fuck was Luna? His mother? He was a big enough boy to make his own bad decisions, and Luna should never have stepped in the way. She should have just left the room and let him learn his own lessons.

He could have just been another person to kick out in the morning and Luna would have felt much better for it, instead of feeling unsettled and angry and on the verge of frustrated tears. How dare he try and lecture her on the world of the gods! Just because his brothers were Ares’ arseholes, just because he would probably end up being just another one of those arseholes as well?

How dare he suddenly make her think of that room full of men grabbing for her. How dare he make her remember how powerless and awful and terrifying it had felt to have so little control over anything.

God damn it! Luna didn’t feel like she had any control over anything anymore, not a simple conversation with some other human and not in anything that happened around her.

Isn’t that what you wanted? she demanded, boots hitting the wet ground hard as she stalked towards Merlin’s place. Didn’t you want to have no control?

No.

Maybe.

Sort of.

But… it wasn’t the same! Yes, she wanted someone else to have all the control but… well, she didn’t want to have no control. But-

It didn’t matter! It wasn’t the point!

She pushed open the door to Merlin’s house and headed towards the library, assuming she’d find him there. If she was a god - how she wished she was a god! - she would have been able to sense him, but for Luna all she felt was the warmth of the house compared to outside.

When she found him her cheeks were pink and flushed, her breathing hard, her gaze erratic. “Hey,” she said in greeting, and there was a tightness in her voice.


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[info]empiresanderas
2021-03-19 05:06 am UTC (link)
Merlin had been out shopping when he’d got Luna’s message. He’d had to cut his haggling short and head back home, reaching it with a few minutes to spare to hurriedly tidy up a bit and nip into the kitchen to open a bottle of port and grab two glasses to take through to the library. When Luna finally marched through to stomp in front of him, he had a feeling that it didn’t matter what alcohol he might have chosen, she would drink it anyway.

“Good evening,” he said, a little warily, trying to assess her mood. It clearly wasn’t a good one.

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[info]holyrites
2021-03-19 05:07 am UTC (link)
Luna didn’t feel that ‘good’ part of the evening at all and she blamed the day entirely for it. No, she blamed that stupid kid for it. (She didn’t blame herself. She had nothing to blame herself for! It wasn’t her fault!)

But she spotted the two glasses of something beside him and reached out for one of them, nodding and taking a large gulp of- ah, it was a port, she realised now. Port would work.

Luna let out a breath as though she’d been holding it the whole walk here and then asked, “how was your day?” because maybe she should at least pretend there was anything social about this call. At least holding a glass meant she couldn’t keep picking at her nail polish.

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[info]empiresanderas
2021-03-19 05:36 am UTC (link)
“My day was fine,” Merlin said casually, sipping his own glass. “I was doing some research in the morning, and then improv class in the afternoon, then I went shopping, and then you messaged me. I found a couple of lovely antique goblets. I’d have used them today but they need a good clean first.” Maybe talking about mundanity would distract Luna from whatever had upset her. “I presume your mistress isn’t home?”

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[info]holyrites
2021-03-19 06:03 am UTC (link)
Luna drained the last of the port in her glass - it was probably expensive, probably meant to be savoured, but Luna’s mouth tasted like dirt and no amount of fancy port was going to fix it. “They’re both in Hawaii,” Luna said, licking her lips and the breath she took felt wavering, felt like too much for the straining muscles across her chest.

She could be sly and flirty and look at him from under her eyelashes… or she could try and be honest about why she was here. Maybe honest was the better way to go. “It’s been just such a shitty afternoon and usually I’d go home and I’d beg them to fuck me however they liked until I felt like a real person again but- they’re not and I can’t go home to an empty house right now or I will honestly crawl out of my skin. So,” she said, looking at him seriously, the naked need on her face. “I am begging you. Use me. Hurt me. Just- just make me feel something. Please?”

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[info]empiresanderas
2021-03-19 06:52 am UTC (link)
Merlin took a breath and a larger sip of port. He quite enjoyed the playful banter they usually participated in. Use me hurt me sounded a lot more than their usual activity. “That’s what you want?” he asked, topping up her glass with a splash more. “Do our usual ground rules still apply?” Safe words would be important, when she was so vulnerable. He didn’t want to push her too far.

But then, how far was too far when it came to a girl who was a live-in sex slave, anyway?

“No ground rules,” Luna told him with a slight shake of her head, already starting to feel the change in the air, the suggestion of something more than just McDonalds and teenage fuckheads and a million daily petty things piling up on her.

She lifted the glass to her lips and this time she took a sip, restraining herself from just throwing herself headlong into a drunken blackout. It wasn’t a useful method of coping with anything, the drinking. You just woke up feeling hungover and wishing you were drunk again. But the fucking? That could reset something, release something. “If I say ‘red’ you stop, but other than that, no rules.”

He lifted his brows slightly. He’d been to some dark places of his own in the past, been with girls who hadn’t all the way chosen to be in that position. He wasn’t always a very nice wizard, although it suited him to be seen as such by most people. This might damage their working relationship which he so enjoyed, and if Peitho thought he was getting more from their arrangement than had been agreed upon she might get annoyed, but…

Luna also wasn’t dressed the way she usually did when she came to him. She was in her own clothes, not made up, no cute garter belts or whimsical costumes today. After a long pause, he finished his glass and set it carefully aside. He was in everyday clothes of his own today too. No three piece suit, just a plum velvet coat over a white shirt and charcoal slacks, nothing exceptional.

“Take off your coat,” he said, not looking at her, straightening his shoulders. His tone was deeper, imbued with more authority than the man who went to antique stores to haggle for old silverware. This was the tone of the right hand of the King, who was used to being obeyed without question.

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[info]holyrites
2021-03-19 06:53 am UTC (link)
Luna felt herself straighten up at the tone, the shift clear and Luna’s desire to obey kicking in instantly. Her hands still feel slightly unsteady with unreleased frustration, but they worked well enough that she could unzip her jacket and drop it onto the ground. She wanted to take off everything else, but she also wanted to obey completely.

“Don’t make a mess,” Merlin said, frowning at the dropped jacket. “This is my library, and you will treat it with respect or I will have to punish you. Now. Pick it up, and lay it down on the couch. Take off your shirt, shoes and pants too.” This would be a push, making her show her scars. It would depend on what exactly she was feeling vulnerable about, he supposed. He would have to stop thinking of her as his sexy hired girlfriend. This was for Luna.

Something inside her thrilled at the sudden strictness and her breath caught a little. “Yes, sir,” she told him, crouching to pick up the jacket and put it down exactly where he’d asked. Then she removed the rest of what he’d asked, making sure it was in the order that he’d told her to do it in. She didn’t strip for him slowly, and there was none of the flirty little dance she was so used to performing for him, a smile that suggested she was a delightful little treat for his pleasure. She was practical, watching him until she was in nothing but her underwear. It was slightly less extravagant than what he usually saw her in. Though still black and lacy and expensive, it was far more practical under jeans and a t-shirt.

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[info]empiresanderas
2021-03-19 06:56 am UTC (link)
Now Merlin looked at her, assessing her with a level of remove, like she was any old person in their underwear in his house. “You may have a little more to drink, if you wish. And then we are going upstairs.” He polished off his own glass and set it down. His mind was racing ahead to decide what he was going to do with her, and what he had in his room that would do the job. There were silk ties, he thought, they’d used them once before but not like this.

He walked towards the stairs, glancing back over his shoulder. “Hurry up.”

Luna didn’t grab anymore to drink, because the more alcohol that was in her, the less she would feel connected to her own body. And she needed, desperately, to feel connected to her body right now, with this happening. There was no point if she wasn’t present. So she followed along after Merlin, speeding up when she told him too and feeling the excitement and anticipation replacing the other feelings that had been feasting on her before this.

In the room she stopped and waited, and if her breathing was shaky now it was no longer with anger that she couldn’t direct at anything.

Merlin walked ahead of her, unbuttoning the cuffs of his shirt and rolling up his sleeves. He grabbed a tie from his dresser as he passed it, and seated himself on the edge of the bed. “Come,” he directed, beckoning to Luna to come and stand in front of him. “Tell me what you want from me.”

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[info]holyrites
2021-03-19 06:58 am UTC (link)
I want you to make me feel better, was the true answer, but it was buried in mess and complications and layers and layers of - yeah, alright, maybe - messed up sexual behaviour that a therapist would probably have a field day with. But Luna didn’t need any damn therapist, she needed to be fucked until she could find that pure moment of release. Not orgasm, nothing so ordinary and simple as an orgasm. She could get that on her own without anyone’s help.

Honestly, what Luna wanted right now was that moment that would come like a flash out of nowhere, that moment where everything clicked and she felt the weight come lifting off her. A complete release of everything holding her too tense and internal. She’d screamed in the middle of a crowded McDonalds but the moment it was done she had closed back up. It wasn’t enough. She needed to find something that would strip her down and leave her raw, in a place where it was okay to be so raw.

Tell me what you want from me, Merlin said, and it was both a command and a question, she knew that. She could trust him enough (she was sure) to know that he wouldn’t try and break her down any more than she desperately desired to be broken down. He liked her, she knew that too. He enjoyed her company.

And maybe this would change something or fuck it up, but Luna just needed someone she trusted to guide her to something she couldn’t find on her own.

“I want you to push me,” she told him, finding it hard to articulate the words. With Hermes and Peitho these things had happened slowly, they had built out of already existing structures. She hadn’t really needed any explanations. “It’s only a little about pain, the pain is incidental. It’s about being pushed against my limits, physically, mentally.”

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[info]empiresanderas
2021-03-19 07:07 am UTC (link)
His eyes went to her throat and her arms and back to her face, but that was the only outward reveal of his thoughts. He didn’t know her limits as well as her mistress did. He had a riding crop on top of his dresser, if he needed that, but for now he looked up at her and scrutinised her face.

“Remove your bra,” he said. “I will send you home in one piece, don’t worry. Everything between then and now is my time.” Her body was gorgeous and within reach, and completely within his power. That kind of power was not something he often indulged in, but tonight, he could. A semblance of it, at least.

Yes, Luna thought, knowing now that this was definitely going ahead. She couldn’t be sure of what ‘this’ would entail but that was part of it, wasn’t it? Of having no say or knowledge of what he would choose to do to her, to only have the choice to say ‘stop’ and nothing beyond that.

Luna reached behind her back, watching him, and undid the clasp with one hand. She drew the bra off herself but didn’t drop it onto the floor, not after his command with the jacket earlier. She would hold it until he told her otherwise.

“Good girl. You can drop it. We’re not in the library here.” Merlin undid the top button on his shirt, picked up the tie, and stood up, walking around Luna, looking her over. He stopped behind her, and waited, leaving her in suspense for a long moment, letting the tie loose over his fingers, and then tossing it over one shoulder to free his hands up.

Stepping forward, standing directly behind her, he placed his hands on her shoulders and slowly stroked them down her arms, his hands firm over her skin. For a moment he saw an image of a basement, a dark-haired man with a thin, sharp knife, the smell of blood and piss, and Luna’s long hair falling across her face. His grip tightened for a moment.

“Tell me how you got out,” he said low into her ear, his hands rising back up her arms, and he bent his head to kiss her shoulder, very gently.

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[info]holyrites
2021-03-19 07:08 am UTC (link)
The anticipation was like something creeping beneath her skin and she didn’t know what he was going to do. His hands on her arms, sliding down across her scars, and Luna felt the shiver travel all the way up the length of her spine.

When he asked the question, Luna felt herself freeze up and then, after a moment, her face flicked to the side to try and look at him, but he was kissing her shoulder and she couldn’t see his expression. “What?” she demanded, although she knew perfectly well what he was asking of her.

“You heard me,” he replied smoothly, his fingers deliberately running down over her scars, touching only them. “I’m giving the orders. You asked me to do this.” He liked that he had surprised her. She had likely been expecting what her mistress would’ve given her. Merlin liked to defy expectations.

“No,” Luna said, half swallowing the word, feeling the tension of it in her neck, in her jaw. She said no, but she knew that ‘no’ wasn’t the word she had put in place to stop things. She didn’t say ‘red’ and she didn’t pull away from him. Luna knew that she had started this and that she could walk out at any time. She had that choice. Instead of answering, she could just leave.

But she didn’t leave.

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[info]empiresanderas
2021-03-19 07:16 am UTC (link)
Merlin frowned and pulled back. “That’s not a word I want to hear from you,” he said firmly, taking the tie from over his shoulder and pulling it between his fingers with a soft whistle of smooth fabric. “I asked a question, I expect an answer. Give me your hands.” He took her arms before she could respond, pulling them behind her back and wrapping the tie around her forearms, in such a way that she couldn’t pull her hands free. “Now. Answer my question. How did you get out,” he said as he bent her over the side of the bed, his hand between her shoulder blades.

“Please,” she began, but didn’t quite follow it up with anything. Please don’t ask me that, please don’t make me tell you what I did, please don’t pull me open like this?

Her arms tied, just like she’d been tied to that chair in the basement.

No, not the same. This was different, and Luna fought with the internal part of her that wanted to freak out about it. She was unsettled and on edge and didn’t know what was going on - and wasn’t that why she was here? Command me had been the whole point, and now she was going to back away because they weren’t the commands she expected? Push me against my limits, she had said, and he was pushing.

She could say ‘red’ and make it stop right now.

He pushed her over the bed and Luna felt… confused? uneasy? thrilled? by the combination of the prying question and the clearly sexual situation surrounding it.

“I… did what I had to.”

"What did you do, Luna?" They were questions, but they were posed like statements that demanded a response. "That man who peeled you away like ripping out pages from a book. That man in the thrall of Envy, twisted and cruel- what did you do to him, after all he did to you?" Still holding her down with one hand, he placed the other on her backside, fingers on the gusset of her panties to tease her.

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[info]holyrites
2021-03-19 07:21 am UTC (link)
The mixed messages of it all, the violent words of what had happened to her with the teasing touch of his fingers. It was setting off alarms inside of Luna that she didn’t know how to respond to.

Each question of his pushed against her - what did you do? What did you do? What did you do??

Angry and trapped (but he wasn’t the thing trapping her), Luna shoved back against Merlin to shake him off. “I killed him!” She looked back over her shoulder to glare at Merlin, eyes wild and furious. “I took that motherfucker’s knife off him, took that fucking knife he used to peel me away, and I kept stabbing him until he was dead!”

He would not be shaken off by her. “Yes,” Merlin hissed, and leaned over her, pressing his hips up against her arse, and took hold of her jaw to hold her gaze. He didn’t care that she’d killed someone. There had been more than a few who had died at his hands too, and for far lesser reasons than self-defence. “You killed him, and your gods cleaned up the mess, didn’t they?” He wouldn’t let her look away from him. “You killed him and he never felt the pain that you did. He’s dead and you live with the guilt. Nobody has ever punished you for what you did, ever blamed you. Do you feel like they should?”

“I had to!” Luna said, feeling the way his fingers pressed into her jaw while he made her look at him. “He would have killed me if-” She clenched her jaw and swallowed. “I only did what I had to do!”

But there was some tiny kernel truth in what he was suggesting, wasn’t there? No one had ever blamed her for what had happened, they had all been so understanding and- no, she’d had to, he would have killed her, it was only a matter of time…

She squeezed her eyes shut, and saw the way the light died in her captor’s eyes. “But now there’s blood I can never wash away.”

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[info]empiresanderas
2021-03-19 07:23 am UTC (link)
He let go of her face, but not before pressing a kiss to her temple. “Here's the smell of the blood still: all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand,” he said, knowing she liked Shakespeare, and eased up on her back. “You did what you had to to survive. It’s not the first time and it’s not the last, but it might be the most brutal.” His tone was matter-of-fact, not recriminating or angry. He agreed that she did what she must, absolutely. He would have done the same. Or worse.

As he straightened up, he kissed down her upper arm, his hands on her waist soothing until he reached her hips and gripped firmly to grind up against her again. “You did well to tell me that. Good girl.”

His words and kisses were suddenly soothing, making everything feel a little less sharp, a little less - as Merlin had said - brutal. A violent whiplash between demanding and pushing, and reward.

Now she focused on the feeling of him pressing into her from behind, the pull of her shoulders backwards down to the silk tie that bound them. She looked over her shoulder at him, the angle making it difficult but the intention there. “I want to be a good girl,” she told him, and there was an edge of begging desperation in her tone again.

“Of course you do.” Oh Luna, such a mixed-up little mortal, still so young and yet so experienced in many ways. For a moment he saw her sitting on a couch as a drunk, angry artist painted her, could almost feel the stiffness in her bones from not moving for too long. He had already seen how this ended, but this was the time before, when she was good and obedient and just let the man fuck her because that was what she had been told to do. “You are a good girl. You’re a survivor.”

His hand moved from her hip and back to her sex, fingers probing again, and he pulled the fabric up tight against her. “Tell me what you want.”

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[info]holyrites
2021-03-19 07:28 am UTC (link)
Twenty minutes ago Luna had been so sure. She had walked into this house with purpose and demands and a sure plan that would remove her from everything she was feeling and replace it with something different.

Is that still what she wanted?

What she wanted was to have never been in that basement, she wanted to have never met Kaden, she wanted to have never fucked things up with Will, she wanted to have never made that deal with Ares, she wanted, wanted, wanted in an endless list that seemed to stretch back only as far as the next item of regret. Luna felt like she was made of nothing but hungry aching want but did it actually have any direction?

“I don’t know what I want,” Luna eventually said, her breathing catching a little at his touch. “Tell me what I want.”

“You want to live,” Merlin said, slowly peeling her panties down her thighs until they dropped to the floor. He paused to lick his lips quickly, feeling a stirring in his own pants. “You want to let go. You want to be forgiven.” As he spoke, he found her clit and started to stroke it with his middle finger. “What happened today, to drive you here? Be truthful.”

Luna shuddered at his touch and pressed her face down into the bed for a moment, wanting to just focus on that feeling and not what he was asking her. When she turned her face to the side, cheek resting on the bed, she pushed herself back against Merlin to feel him a little more. “It’s… complicated.”

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[info]empiresanderas
2021-03-19 07:31 am UTC (link)
Merlin tutted at her. “I asked you a question,” he said, with an air of disappointment, and pulled his hand away. A moment later, his hand smacked across her arse, jolting her forwards. “Who upset you? Tell me!” he said, more demanding, his fingers going back to her clit.

“A boy!” she blurted out, feeling the sting lingering against her cheek, the gasp she’d made at it more of surprise than pain. “A dumb teenage boy I tried to protect from Peitho, okay!” Her face was burning at saying that out loud to him. It was different to say to Kaden, who was outside of this world, who was just a random human. Merlin knew Peitho. Merlin could turn around and say anything to Luna’s goddess at any time.

Oh, was that it? A boy too young, a woman too wise, a goddess who didn’t share the same morals. Merlin slotted the story together quickly in his mind. “She likes them young. Easier to mould to her desires,” he said, focused on arousing Luna, and sliding two fingers inside her. “Make them into good, helpful, bright people. Like you.” He rotated his hand so he could crook his fingers, stroking the inside of her, looking for the spot that would make her shudder.

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[info]holyrites
2021-03-19 07:34 am UTC (link)
She’d been about to argue but then the movement of his fingers drew a shuddering moan instead. But, no, he was wrong. Even making her squirm like this, he wasn’t right about her.

“It’s not the same,” Luna snapped, trying to look back at him but unable to do it from this angle. “I’m not-” she was caught by a gasp. “No one molded me. I just-” Another hitch, another moan. “I just wanted to stop him making a mistake he’d- he’d regret.” And Luna couldn’t help but picture Bruno, Bruno sweeping into her hometown and her small teenage life, Bruno being so amazing and larger than life and in love with her and Luna throwing away everything to be his. The way that Bruno had broken her down with such ease, made her into a person who judged herself as harshly as he judged her, who caved to his desires, who doubted her own thoughts and needs.

But she didn’t want to be thinking about Bruno while getting fingered, anymore than she wanted to think of Kaden.

“Didn’t they?” Merlin asked softly, moving his thumb to circle her clit. Luna protecting a boy from experiencing what she lived. Did Luna think of herself as too far gone to be saved? “Were you jealous? Afraid that Peitho would want him more than you? A shiny new toy to play with...” He was growing harder, and wanted to sink into her, but not yet, not yet.

“No.” Luna said it firmly, but with such vehemence that it seemed to be not quite true. No, she had only wanted to protect Kaden. She hadn’t been jealous.

Not really.

The jealousy had been a minor issue to the whole thing- hadn’t it? (But didn’t she relish her position with the gods? Didn’t she think of herself as special because of it? And now, with her stripped arms, she would never be as attractive as she was. She would always be damaged goods now, viewable to everyone. Wasn’t that just another step on the road to Peitho and Hermes being done with her?)

“He’s too young, just a dumb kid. Just a-” She bit down on her lip as he thumb brushed across her again. “He thought he was better than me.”

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[info]empiresanderas
2021-03-19 07:38 am UTC (link)
“Better than you? What a little cunt,” Merlin said with a slight smile. He liked the way she squirmed. He placed a hand on the small of her back to hold her down while he worked his hand faster, fingers thrusting harder. “Nobody matches your talent. How dare he sneer at you?”

Yes, thought Luna with a sense of triumph, the delicious fingers inside her almost unable to distract from that. How fucking dare he! She moaned, spreading her legs a little more for him, mouth open against the bedding she was pressed down against. She could feel the aching in shoulders from the way her arms were tied back, and she loved it, felt every small discomfort feeding into the larger pleasure of Merlin’s fingers.

She was clearly getting close, and Merlin smirked. “You don’t come until I do,” he said, unrelenting in getting her closer to climax. “Beg for it. Beg for my cock. Tell me why you deserve it.” Special Luna, with such a talent for pleasing and for pleasure, could never be matched by some boy off the street. He spanked her again, just because he wanted to, and her butt was raised so attractively. Peitho was losing her touch if she wasn’t going to give Luna the attention she deserved.

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[info]holyrites
2021-03-19 07:42 am UTC (link)
The slap brought a gasped moan out of Luna, and she squeezed her thighs against his hand, trying to focus on something that wasn’t the shuddering need growing inside of her. “Please,” she begged him, babbling every thought that came to her mind. “Please let me have your cock, I want your cock. Merlin, I’m such a good girl, such a good girl for you, please use my pussy, please!”

Merlin groaned between his teeth. He wanted to fuck her so very badly… Taking his hand away from her, he unzipped his trousers and let them fall to his ankles, and took his dick in his hand. “Fuck yes,” he gritted out, dragging the head of it up and down her cunt a few times, listening to her beg for him.

Sinking into her felt so good. He held himself there a moment, then, gripping her hips, pulled out almost to the tip, and slammed in again. He fucked her slow and hard, wanting to make her feel it, like she had asked for.

Oh god, the feeling of him sinking into her, of fucking her hard, it was exactly what she wanted. With her hands trussed behind her, there was nothing she could do but go along with it, each thrust pushing her into the bed. “More,” she begged him, squeezing around his dick. “Please, sir, more!” She wanted him to pull at her or dig his nails in or just fuck her even harder, so she could feel every single atom of her body on fire.

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[info]empiresanderas
2021-03-19 07:49 am UTC (link)
As his own arousal grew, he wanted more himself, and listening to her beg for it was making him feel powerful and how did she do it? Leaning forward, he caught hold of her hair, twisting it around his hand, and with the other hand he pulled on her arms, lifting her off the bed so he could pull her into him with each thrust. His pace picked up, and he groaned under his breath.

“Good girl, so good,” he grunted out, fucking her faster, the feeling of her around his cock just perfect.

Luna gasped when he dragged her up by the hair, by her bound arms, and the whimpering sounds she made were pathetic and needy. “Yesss,” she told him, hearing the heaviness of his breathing, feeling her own snatched out of her lungs to match. She wanted to feel like nothing more than a doll for his pleasure, pounded into without regard. “Make me feel it.”

Well if that's what she wanted… He pulled back harder on her, fully focused on getting his own enjoyment out of her. The slap of their hips and the grunting of breath filled the air. He was close, so close- he let go of her arms and wrenched up on her hair so he could grab her breast instead, rolling the flesh clumsily between his fingers.

Just before he climaxed, he abruptly dropped her and pulled out, and while she was reacting to that, he took his cock in hand and came across her arse and thighs with a groan, placing a heavy hand on her back to hold her down until he was done. “Good girl, Luna, good girl,” he puffed, and wiped his hand off on her hip.

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[info]holyrites
2021-03-19 07:52 am UTC (link)
Luna let him hold her down, even as she whined at the absence he’d left in her. Even though her skin was hot, she still felt the warm, familiar splash against her thighs. Luna found that she couldn’t really turn to look back at him - the tied arms made it too difficult - and she wiggled her arse at him for attention, not wanting Merlin to stop touching her.

He took a moment to compose herself, looking down at her. “God, you love it,” he said with a low growl, and leaned forward to drag her up by her arms so she was standing pressed against him. One hand he brought to her breasts, finding her nipple and pinching it, and the other went between her legs. “How much do you want it?” he said into her ear, nipping at her earlobe as his fingers circled her clit and stroked over her abused vulva. The hand on her breasts pinched the other nipple and then came up to hold her throat, just under her jaw so he could tilt her head back. “Tell me how much you need it.”

“I need it,” Luna begged, whimpered, shuddering against the grip he had on her, the sharp hands and pinching fingers and demanding words at her ear. All of it was so much, so good, so right, and she arched back against him. “Please, Merlin, please, I need it!”

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[info]empiresanderas
2021-03-19 07:53 am UTC (link)
Merlin tightened his hold of her throat just a little. “You can come for me now,” he said, finally giving her permission to let it all go and come apart under his insistent fingers. He pressed rough kisses against the curve of her shoulder, and held her as closely up against him as he could.

The pressure on her throat suggested panic to an animal part of Luna’s brain, but this wasn’t then, wasn’t Colorado, this wasn’t a man who wanted her to die. She could speak a safe word here and Merlin would let her go.

(He would let her go, wouldn’t he?)

But the orgasm was building to its peak inside of her under Merlin’s unrelenting fingers and Luna started shaking her head as much as his grip would allow. She didn’t want to come, didn’t want to let it happen. She was holding back from the edge, but it was so difficult with the pleasure building and sinking in its claws. “I can’t, I- oh!, I can’t, I can’t.”

Merlin knew she didn’t like her throat held usually, but he’d thought to push her limits there. Apparently it was a little too much. He eased his hold of her, instead turning her head so he could kiss her. “You must,” he hissed against her mouth. “Luna, you are mine and I say, you must.”

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[info]holyrites
2021-03-19 07:57 am UTC (link)
It was the you are mine that did it, the sheer ownership placed upon her even if it wasn’t completely true. The command broke down everything she was holding back and in moments she was coming, crying out against his mouth as her body spasmed and shook, the only thing strong and stable seeming to be Merlin himself. She would have grabbed hold of him, sunk in her nails, if she hadn’t been bound so wonderfully.

He held her up against her, not letting up on her clit until she was almost crying with pleasure, and then still going on for longer after that. Feeling the wetness of her on his hand, the way her muscles clenched and her limbs tensed, was good, and if he was capable of getting hard again right this minute, he would have. “Good girl,” he murmured into her hair, holding her until she sagged in his arms, residual shudders running through her like aftershocks, and only then did he lower her down onto the bed and loosen the tie on her wrists.

She didn’t really notice Merlin undoing her tied arms, but she felt their sudden freedom and the ache in her joints that accompanied it, and she shifted them to below her so that she could roll onto her side, one hand on the bed as though it might steady her. As she felt the high of the orgasm slipping away, her cunt still hot and throbbing, she also felt the other thing she’d both feared and hoped for.

After about thirty seconds of stillness, Luna made herself sit up on the bed. Her movements were slow and unsteady and once she was sitting her face scrunched up, her breathing starting to waver.

And then, on the end of Merlin’s bed, Luna burst into heavy sobs, her whole body feeling taken over by the exhausted sadness of it all.

It was the stupid boy and the stupid things he’d said, but it was also about the basement and what she’d done, and it was about the confusion with Peitho and the feeling of betraying her. It was about the thousand things a day that got stuck inside her head and kept going around and around, the guilt and frustration and anger at it all.

Somewhere in her crying she managed to say ‘red’ but she honestly wasn’t sure if it would be audible, and didn’t know if Merlin would maybe think this was still part of some disciplinary game.

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[info]empiresanderas
2021-03-19 08:11 am UTC (link)
"Ah-" Merlin hesitated as he pulled up his trousers and tucked his shirt in, watching her cry. Was this still part of it? But then he was fairly sure he'd heard the safe word, so…

Crossing to the screen standing at the side of the room, he bypassed the filmy, translucent robe he normally reserved for Luna to wear, and went instead for his own warmer, fleecy dressing gown, and brought it back for Luna, draping it across her shoulders and tucking it around her. Then, cautiously, he sat down next to her and put an arm around her.

"Hey now," he said in a soothing way, stroking her back. "You're safe here."


Luna turned herself towards the warmth of him, pressing her face against his chest as she cried. She wanted to tell him sorry, but she couldn’t quite find the words for it, and she couldn’t quite pull herself back together.

But Merlin stroked her back and he told her she was safe, and Luna believed him. There had been so many times and places without safety, but she believed Merlin.

And maybe she was ruining whatever professional relationship they had by exposing herself like this, but she couldn’t find it in her to care. She was just glad to have someone’s arm around her while she broke down.

Eventually her crying died down and she made herself straighten right up and wipe her eyes. She took a few deep breaths and, looking ahead and not at him, she said, “I’m okay.” She could hear the tiredness in her own voice. “I’m okay.”

"Of course you are," he said quietly, rubbing her shoulder. Whatever she was going through, this boy misjudging her was only the straw that broke the camel's back. Coming to Merlin and requesting to be used and abused wasn't the regular thing she did.

Then again, she didn't normally have to murder somebody in order to escape torture. The whole event had taken a heavy toll, clearly.

"Trust me when I say everything that happens here is between us. You don't need to worry about betrayal from me." He watched her face carefully, trying to guess at her mental state.

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[info]holyrites
2021-03-19 08:14 am UTC (link)
Luna turned to look at him beside her and knew she must look a complete mess. And yet Merlin wasn’t kicking her out, instead telling Luna that she could trust him. She nodded, just a little, seeing the honesty as he spoke and appreciating it more than she could put into words.

A part of Luna knew that it was a very foolish thing to place her faith in a trickster- but she was in the service of something of a trickster god herself, so how could she help finding interest in another? But it was so hard to think of Merlin as dangerous, even though she’d read about some of his past exploits. Luna was somewhat guilty of blinders when it came to gods.

She did feel a little better though, a little less like everything was crushing her down into the ground. Exhausted, yes, but better.

“Thank you,” she said. “That means a lot.”

Raising one hand, he gently stroked her cheek and gave her a warmer smile than the aloof smirks of before.

“Do you want a moment alone?” he asked quietly. “You may have a bath, if you wish. Whatever you need.”

“Will you-” she paused, considering for a moment before she continued. “Could you just lie down with me for a minute?” It would have felt so exposing just to ask for an innocent moment like that before, but she’d already turned into a massive sobbing mess at him, so what face was left to lose now? All she wanted was to curl up in someone’s arms and ignore Kaden’s words about how gross she was. (Maybe he’d been right about that though. She had come right here demanding to be fucked.)

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[info]empiresanderas
2021-03-19 08:18 am UTC (link)
Merlin’s face softened, a little touched at her asking, and he nodded. Kicking his shoes off, he climbed onto the bed and patted the sheets beside him, flipping back the bedspread for her to climb in. “Shall I be big spoon?” he asked, hoping to make her smile a little. She deserved some lightness.

Luna did grace him with the smallest of smiles, tired as it was. She crawled back onto the bed and said, “maybe like this,” before lying down facing him and resting her head against his chest. She managed to resist the strong urge to curl herself up into the tightest ball, knees right up, but did rest her arms against her chest, pinned tightly between the both of them. She squeezed her eyes shut.

He let her settle herself, and tucked her head in under his chin. His fingers were wrinkled, he noticed, like they’d been soaking in a bath. Just the two that had been dipped in her cunt, though.

Gently he stroked her back, his arm around her providing her with comfort, and relaxed into it. It was an unexpected way to spend his evening, to be sure, but he couldn't say it was unpleasant. He would give it a minute to sit before speaking. He didn’t want to rush her.

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[info]holyrites
2021-03-19 08:20 am UTC (link)
The quiet ease of the room was so markedly different to what had just gone before, that it felt like a completely different time. But there was something safe about lying in Merlin’s arms like she was, something she would be happy to let go on. But she also was very aware of overstaying her welcome. This, after all, was not their usual routine.

“I should probably go,” she said, but didn’t actually make any move.

“Rest, it’s alright,” he said in reply. Maybe some hold-over of her obeying his word would work on her, and she would just accept his suggestion. “You just lay here nice and safe for a while, and then I’ll get us a cup of tea and some cake.”

Luna nodded, her cheek shifting slightly against his chest. “I’d like that,” she told him quietly, closing her eyes and drawing herself a little closer to him. She could handle lying here for a little longer, and she could handle tea and cake. Maybe that was all she could handle right now.

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[info]empiresanderas
2021-03-19 09:28 am UTC (link)
Merlin smiled and kissed the top of her head. He’d have to be careful or he would end up falling asleep here in a post-coital haze. Instead, he just concentrated on rubbing his thumb up and down her spine. He waited a good long while before he murmured, “I hope you got what you wanted out of this.”

“It helped,” Luna nodded, slowly drawing herself back from where she’d been curled against him so that she could see his face. With a tired half-smile she leaned in and kissed him gently, her lips feeling a little numb and tingling, her body aching in a way that made her feel present.


Well this was a pleasant end to proceedings. A sweet little kiss from her, and the promise of tea and cake, and maybe Luna might stay for a while and she would curl up in an armchair like a cat and they could read companionably together until bedtime.

Maybe. He would see how it went.

"You can stay as long as you need to," he said, brushing her hair back behind her ear. "We can just chat. Or not talk, whatever you want."

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[info]holyrites
2021-03-19 09:36 am UTC (link)
"Thank you," she said again, because she truly was grateful- not only for him going along with what she'd asked, but for his gentle kindness now. Today Luna needed both.

"I like your cake idea," she said, fingers playing with the fabric of his shirt that had never ended up being removed. "All I've eaten today is a handful of fries. But-" she closed her fingers around the fabric, more of a symbolic gesture of making him stay than an actual attempt. "Maybe not quite yet."

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