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Tweak says, "put anotha shrimp on tha barbi"

𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑎 𝑜𝑙𝑚𝑜𝑠 🌘 (holyrites) wrote in nevermore_logs,
@ 2021-03-19 15:54:00

Entry tags:

luna olmos, merlin

WHO Luna & Merlin
WHEN Tuesday evening (16th March), after her run in with Kaden
WHERE Merlin's place
WHAT Just looking to feel better
WARNINGS Upset Luna times feat. mentions of Ares, Michele, Dunkin, Peitho's treatment of humans. (Generally all of Luna's past.) Consensual rough(ish) sex with a dom/sub flair.

When Luna got off the train to walk to Merlin’s house, she was still agitated, a tightness seeming to infect every part of her body. The whole trip there she had kept going over the conversation with Kaden and wondering if the turn had been her fault, or if he was always going to go off like he did. She had called him a ‘pimply prepubescent’ - yeah, maybe that had been uncalled for. But he didn’t even seem to respect that she’d done what she could to protect him.

Maybe that’s where she’d gone fucking wrong. She should have just kept her head down like she always did, instead of trying to- do what? ‘Save’ some teenage boy from a choice he already wanted to make? Who the fuck was Luna? His mother? He was a big enough boy to make his own bad decisions, and Luna should never have stepped in the way. She should have just left the room and let him learn his own lessons.

He could have just been another person to kick out in the morning and Luna would have felt much better for it, instead of feeling unsettled and angry and on the verge of frustrated tears. How dare he try and lecture her on the world of the gods! Just because his brothers were Ares’ arseholes, just because he would probably end up being just another one of those arseholes as well?

How dare he suddenly make her think of that room full of men grabbing for her. How dare he make her remember how powerless and awful and terrifying it had felt to have so little control over anything.

God damn it! Luna didn’t feel like she had any control over anything anymore, not a simple conversation with some other human and not in anything that happened around her.

Isn’t that what you wanted? she demanded, boots hitting the wet ground hard as she stalked towards Merlin’s place. Didn’t you want to have no control?

No.

Maybe.

Sort of.

But… it wasn’t the same! Yes, she wanted someone else to have all the control but… well, she didn’t want to have no control. But-

It didn’t matter! It wasn’t the point!

She pushed open the door to Merlin’s house and headed towards the library, assuming she’d find him there. If she was a god - how she wished she was a god! - she would have been able to sense him, but for Luna all she felt was the warmth of the house compared to outside.

When she found him her cheeks were pink and flushed, her breathing hard, her gaze erratic. “Hey,” she said in greeting, and there was a tightness in her voice.

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holyrites
2021-03-19 07:57 am UTC (link)

It was the you are mine that did it, the sheer ownership placed upon her even if it wasn’t completely true. The command broke down everything she was holding back and in moments she was coming, crying out against his mouth as her body spasmed and shook, the only thing strong and stable seeming to be Merlin himself. She would have grabbed hold of him, sunk in her nails, if she hadn’t been bound so wonderfully.

He held her up against her, not letting up on her clit until she was almost crying with pleasure, and then still going on for longer after that. Feeling the wetness of her on his hand, the way her muscles clenched and her limbs tensed, was good, and if he was capable of getting hard again right this minute, he would have. “Good girl,” he murmured into her hair, holding her until she sagged in his arms, residual shudders running through her like aftershocks, and only then did he lower her down onto the bed and loosen the tie on her wrists.

She didn’t really notice Merlin undoing her tied arms, but she felt their sudden freedom and the ache in her joints that accompanied it, and she shifted them to below her so that she could roll onto her side, one hand on the bed as though it might steady her. As she felt the high of the orgasm slipping away, her cunt still hot and throbbing, she also felt the other thing she’d both feared and hoped for.

After about thirty seconds of stillness, Luna made herself sit up on the bed. Her movements were slow and unsteady and once she was sitting her face scrunched up, her breathing starting to waver.

And then, on the end of Merlin’s bed, Luna burst into heavy sobs, her whole body feeling taken over by the exhausted sadness of it all.

It was the stupid boy and the stupid things he’d said, but it was also about the basement and what she’d done, and it was about the confusion with Peitho and the feeling of betraying her. It was about the thousand things a day that got stuck inside her head and kept going around and around, the guilt and frustration and anger at it all.

Somewhere in her crying she managed to say ‘red’ but she honestly wasn’t sure if it would be audible, and didn’t know if Merlin would maybe think this was still part of some disciplinary game.

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empiresanderas
2021-03-19 08:11 am UTC (link)

"Ah-" Merlin hesitated as he pulled up his trousers and tucked his shirt in, watching her cry. Was this still part of it? But then he was fairly sure he'd heard the safe word, so…

Crossing to the screen standing at the side of the room, he bypassed the filmy, translucent robe he normally reserved for Luna to wear, and went instead for his own warmer, fleecy dressing gown, and brought it back for Luna, draping it across her shoulders and tucking it around her. Then, cautiously, he sat down next to her and put an arm around her.

"Hey now," he said in a soothing way, stroking her back. "You're safe here."

Luna turned herself towards the warmth of him, pressing her face against his chest as she cried. She wanted to tell him sorry, but she couldn’t quite find the words for it, and she couldn’t quite pull herself back together.

But Merlin stroked her back and he told her she was safe, and Luna believed him. There had been so many times and places without safety, but she believed Merlin.

And maybe she was ruining whatever professional relationship they had by exposing herself like this, but she couldn’t find it in her to care. She was just glad to have someone’s arm around her while she broke down.

Eventually her crying died down and she made herself straighten right up and wipe her eyes. She took a few deep breaths and, looking ahead and not at him, she said, “I’m okay.” She could hear the tiredness in her own voice. “I’m okay.”

"Of course you are," he said quietly, rubbing her shoulder. Whatever she was going through, this boy misjudging her was only the straw that broke the camel's back. Coming to Merlin and requesting to be used and abused wasn't the regular thing she did.

Then again, she didn't normally have to murder somebody in order to escape torture. The whole event had taken a heavy toll, clearly.

"Trust me when I say everything that happens here is between us. You don't need to worry about betrayal from me." He watched her face carefully, trying to guess at her mental state.

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holyrites
2021-03-19 08:14 am UTC (link)

Luna turned to look at him beside her and knew she must look a complete mess. And yet Merlin wasn’t kicking her out, instead telling Luna that she could trust him. She nodded, just a little, seeing the honesty as he spoke and appreciating it more than she could put into words.

A part of Luna knew that it was a very foolish thing to place her faith in a trickster- but she was in the service of something of a trickster god herself, so how could she help finding interest in another? But it was so hard to think of Merlin as dangerous, even though she’d read about some of his past exploits. Luna was somewhat guilty of blinders when it came to gods.

She did feel a little better though, a little less like everything was crushing her down into the ground. Exhausted, yes, but better.

“Thank you,” she said. “That means a lot.”

Raising one hand, he gently stroked her cheek and gave her a warmer smile than the aloof smirks of before.

“Do you want a moment alone?” he asked quietly. “You may have a bath, if you wish. Whatever you need.”

“Will you-” she paused, considering for a moment before she continued. “Could you just lie down with me for a minute?” It would have felt so exposing just to ask for an innocent moment like that before, but she’d already turned into a massive sobbing mess at him, so what face was left to lose now? All she wanted was to curl up in someone’s arms and ignore Kaden’s words about how gross she was. (Maybe he’d been right about that though. She had come right here demanding to be fucked.)

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empiresanderas
2021-03-19 08:18 am UTC (link)

Merlin’s face softened, a little touched at her asking, and he nodded. Kicking his shoes off, he climbed onto the bed and patted the sheets beside him, flipping back the bedspread for her to climb in. “Shall I be big spoon?” he asked, hoping to make her smile a little. She deserved some lightness.

Luna did grace him with the smallest of smiles, tired as it was. She crawled back onto the bed and said, “maybe like this,” before lying down facing him and resting her head against his chest. She managed to resist the strong urge to curl herself up into the tightest ball, knees right up, but did rest her arms against her chest, pinned tightly between the both of them. She squeezed her eyes shut.

He let her settle herself, and tucked her head in under his chin. His fingers were wrinkled, he noticed, like they’d been soaking in a bath. Just the two that had been dipped in her cunt, though.

Gently he stroked her back, his arm around her providing her with comfort, and relaxed into it. It was an unexpected way to spend his evening, to be sure, but he couldn't say it was unpleasant. He would give it a minute to sit before speaking. He didn’t want to rush her.

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holyrites
2021-03-19 08:20 am UTC (link)

The quiet ease of the room was so markedly different to what had just gone before, that it felt like a completely different time. But there was something safe about lying in Merlin’s arms like she was, something she would be happy to let go on. But she also was very aware of overstaying her welcome. This, after all, was not their usual routine.

“I should probably go,” she said, but didn’t actually make any move.

“Rest, it’s alright,” he said in reply. Maybe some hold-over of her obeying his word would work on her, and she would just accept his suggestion. “You just lay here nice and safe for a while, and then I’ll get us a cup of tea and some cake.”

Luna nodded, her cheek shifting slightly against his chest. “I’d like that,” she told him quietly, closing her eyes and drawing herself a little closer to him. She could handle lying here for a little longer, and she could handle tea and cake. Maybe that was all she could handle right now.

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empiresanderas
2021-03-19 09:28 am UTC (link)

Merlin smiled and kissed the top of her head. He’d have to be careful or he would end up falling asleep here in a post-coital haze. Instead, he just concentrated on rubbing his thumb up and down her spine. He waited a good long while before he murmured, “I hope you got what you wanted out of this.”

“It helped,” Luna nodded, slowly drawing herself back from where she’d been curled against him so that she could see his face. With a tired half-smile she leaned in and kissed him gently, her lips feeling a little numb and tingling, her body aching in a way that made her feel present.

Well this was a pleasant end to proceedings. A sweet little kiss from her, and the promise of tea and cake, and maybe Luna might stay for a while and she would curl up in an armchair like a cat and they could read companionably together until bedtime.

Maybe. He would see how it went.

"You can stay as long as you need to," he said, brushing her hair back behind her ear. "We can just chat. Or not talk, whatever you want."

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holyrites
2021-03-19 09:36 am UTC (link)

"Thank you," she said again, because she truly was grateful- not only for him going along with what she'd asked, but for his gentle kindness now. Today Luna needed both.

"I like your cake idea," she said, fingers playing with the fabric of his shirt that had never ended up being removed. "All I've eaten today is a handful of fries. But-" she closed her fingers around the fabric, more of a symbolic gesture of making him stay than an actual attempt. "Maybe not quite yet."

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