Sheโd been about to argue but then the movement of his fingers drew a shuddering moan instead. But, no, he was wrong. Even making her squirm like this, he wasnโt right about her.
โItโs not the same,โ Luna snapped, trying to look back at him but unable to do it from this angle. โIโm not-โ she was caught by a gasp. โNo one molded me. I just-โ Another hitch, another moan. โI just wanted to stop him making a mistake heโd- heโd regret.โ And Luna couldnโt help but picture Bruno, Bruno sweeping into her hometown and her small teenage life, Bruno being so amazing and larger than life and in love with her and Luna throwing away everything to be his. The way that Bruno had broken her down with such ease, made her into a person who judged herself as harshly as he judged her, who caved to his desires, who doubted her own thoughts and needs.
But she didnโt want to be thinking about Bruno while getting fingered, anymore than she wanted to think of Kaden.
โDidnโt they?โ Merlin asked softly, moving his thumb to circle her clit. Luna protecting a boy from experiencing what she lived. Did Luna think of herself as too far gone to be saved? โWere you jealous? Afraid that Peitho would want him more than you? A shiny new toy to play with...โ He was growing harder, and wanted to sink into her, but not yet, not yet.
โNo.โ Luna said it firmly, but with such vehemence that it seemed to be not quite true. No, she had only wanted to protect Kaden. She hadnโt been jealous.
Not really.
The jealousy had been a minor issue to the whole thing- hadnโt it? (But didnโt she relish her position with the gods? Didnโt she think of herself as special because of it? And now, with her stripped arms, she would never be as attractive as she was. She would always be damaged goods now, viewable to everyone. Wasnโt that just another step on the road to Peitho and Hermes being done with her?)
โHeโs too young, just a dumb kid. Just a-โ She bit down on her lip as he thumb brushed across her again. โHe thought he was better than me.โ