Gotham City Network

You fucking bastards, you killed him!

Had a dream I got married last night, definitely weird.

Sookie? Where's Sookie?

Ladies and gen-tle-men. Allow me to introduce myself. Call me Joker. The Joker. And we're all going to have so. Much. Fun.

You see Gotham's getting boring. Tame. Complacent. I stayed nice an quiet for a while but it's time to stir things up again. Create a little chaos. My friends and I, see, we've learned some new tricks. So we want to play a game. And all of you get to be a part of it.

Rule number one. There are no rules. There never have been.

Some of you might get hurt, maimed, electrocuted, sliced, diced, or mauled along the way.. But don't worry. It's all part of the plan. Keep your channel tuned in to JokerTV because we're going to kick of the new programming schedule with a real BANG! Just. You. Wait.

In the meantime our little family has just enough room for some expansion. So if you think you can make it through the intensive selection process we want you.

Oh and Bats? If you're out there. And I know you are. Try and keep up.

Okay.

I'm lost.

I'm angry.

And I'm working on a way to be armed.

So, great joke. Bravo. Really.

Now put me back.

Lord Tubbington?

Lord Tubbington!

Where are you?

I told you not to let Charity in the bathroom, I think she poisoned me.

So I'm impressed! I liked the part where you brought me back to life. Really professional stuff.

The dark, angsty, city of doom thing isn't really my taste but hey! We can't all get it right the first time, can we?

Now if you could just zap me back before I decide to get snappy, I'll call it even.

What the hell...

Where the fuck am I?

I'm about to beat the shit out of someone.

I didn't see this happening, thanks whoever did it.

This is new.

Bloody hell. If someone knows how to get out of here I'd appreciate it. Mum is going to kill me.

A-a-a-hem!

I’m Harley Quinn, your kind of welcome wagon! Pleased to meetcha!

If you have any complaints, keep them to yourself cause I’m not your mama, not your babysitter, not your friend, not your sufficient other, although I could be your therapist for you soul.

I kid!

I kid!

Right-a-rooney, back to what I was saying, not interested in crybabies, but my mallet likes to whap em, whap em good. So keep that in mind before you go crying about, suck on your thumb like the babies some of yous are being.

Fantastic. Never been in this city, which should be impossible. Earth, yeah? What city is this? And what century? And speaking of... what the hell have you lot done with my TARDIS?

This is unexpected. I see I'm not the only one who isn't where he should be. My name is Ianto Jones. I'm from Cardiff, Wales and the year was 2009 when I was last there. Things were tense, to say the least, when I was abducted and I really need to get back. I'm sensing that's not going to be an option though. I swear, if this is because of the rift...

Well. It seems I've been liberated from my oppressors. And just in time, too. I understand all kinds of new experimentspeople are appearing in Gotham these days. I'd certainly love to meet some of you. But later. There's work to be done. And I'm happy to announce I'll be renewing my former position at Arkham Asylum. There are quite a few vacancies after so much of the staff met with.. unfortunate accidents. Relieving me of my duties was a mistake in the first place. An improper diagnosis.

My name is Dr. Jonathan Crane. And I assure you, you have everythingnothing to fear.

Doctor?! Jack?! Bloody Hell, where am I? Where's the TARDIS? Where are the Daleks?

Mickey? Mum?

Anyone?

I really hope this is a joke. Deadlines don't wait.

Oh no, this ain't acceptable. I need to get back to Bon Temps right now! I already lost over a year. I can't afford to lose more.

...Where am I?

So does anyone with any useful answers know how the hell someone might end up in a city she's never heard of after dying?