This Is Fine

okay ladies and gents i got 11 days to find a date for valentine's day! now i know it's exciting but i got some requirements

1. you gotta treat me right, full date an' everything, no just hanging out on your couch
   
2. i'm a lady and this will be JUST a date
   
3. we gotta get dressed up cuz i spent a lot of money on the dress for lucy's party and wanna wear it again
   
4. we gotta go somewhere kinda nice that we don't get ta go all the time
   
5. no mudbloods
   
6. no babies — you gotta be old enough for me (28) and no little goblins runnin' around of yer own. i don't wanna be no one's evil step mum
   
7. must be willing to double date with my friends if they invite us
   
8. must bring me flowers an' chocolate
   
9. must be taller than me
   
10. additional requirements may be added an' just cuz you meet all the above don't mean i gotta say yes
    
    
    [Outer Circle]
    
    an' if you all got someone you wanna set me up with it'll bump em up the list but i couldn't say that

Oi I think I figured out my resolutions for the year!!

1) ta make sure I don't miss my mid-day nap. every day!
2) make a lil more time for myself
3) treat myself more
4) find a man

This is really gonna be the year of me. I can feel it. Gonna work on myself and be the best Vi I can be!

[Death Eaters]

5)4) murder a mudblood!


Got a little update on Operation Hogspress! Glamoured myself to look like that fit security guard who's always tellin' me I can't go places and slipped into the DMT for a bit of rustlin' round on people's desks and takin a look at those Hogwarts Express files. Sure enough, goes back Monday! Oh and the security wards definitely went off, so they'll know someone was in there.

Alright everyone! Wot are your New Year's resolutions? I keep makin' em but I can never seem to keep em. This year I was supposed ta get married but, well, best laid plans haha rite? i mean there's still time but yeah haha

Anyway, I got to pick my 2019 resolutions and I thought I might steal borrow get inspiration from all of you all!

[FRIENDS]

But like if you know anyone!! Not that I need to date but it would be nice to not sit at the kids table next hols!!!

DEATH EATERS
So uh this mudblood rally, that'd be awful if it got attacked yeah? But also kinda like shooting two fish in a bushel...

I want to wish the HAPPIEST birthday to my best friend Lucy Malfoy!! Lucy, not only are you a wonderful friend, you're such an incredible mother to Draco and a badass ministry bosslady. I respect and admire you so much and I'm grateful every single day that we are friends. I know your birthday will be amazing, but I want everyone to know how amazing YOU are!!!

[Insert about a dozen photos of Lucy, Vi, Gaz, Walden & Narcissa and Draco throughout the years]

[Death Eaters]

Soo I think the Lovegoods might be into tentacle porn....... but Xeno probably isn't going to run his mouth about mudbloods for a while, if he knows what's good for him. Evan and I gave them a good scare!!!


[Narcissa]

Do ya think Dobby might be able to fix my robes? I may have gotten a little... tentacle acid on them

Okay but if people are happy about things why light shite on fire about it? I am still picking up burned rubbish all the way in Knockturn!

[Walden, Goyle, Xavier]

Shite. Shite. Did any of you get Lucy a gift? I forgot never can come up with something perfect enough to accurately express my, you know, appreciation for our friendship and wotnot. I'm happy to pitch in!

[Team Ramrod]

Sup everyone!! I'm going to murder Xeno Lovegood before he can get his stupid award that he won't even win. Just thought that on account of us being a team and all I should say something!!!

[Evan]

What's your week look like? Wanna put on a freaky mask and some robes and go out?

[Warded separately to Kingsley & Frank]

HI! Would you like the honor of escorting me to Lucy Malfoy's party?!

Oi I don't care what your politics are but remember every time you cock up places with your garbage SOMEONE HAS TO CLEAN IT. And those people work REALLY HARD to keep everything looking nice. Honestly, who raised you?