Kakashi jerked as a voice shattered the peaceful calm of his Everest stairwell, and winced as that jolted his arm. He glanced over his shoulder and discovered his accuser was a short, barefoot Hyuuga with a chip on his shoulder. He was young looking, and had no armour to compliment his lack of shoes. The naked, raw-looking tattoo on his forehead, set squarely between arched eyebrows, marked him out as a member of the branch family.

None of which explained why the hell he was yelling at Kakashi.

"It's not mine," he said finally, which was mostly true. "And it adds some colour to the place. I didn't know Hyuuga were stooping to custodial roles now, but if it really bothers you there's probably a mop somewhere. Have fun." Kakashi turned his back on the man--teenager? Boy?--and resumed his attack on the stairs. Two and a half flights to go.

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Haruichi's arched left eyebrow twitched. The way the tails of tigers about to pounce twitch. He was sure there was a mop around somewhere too, and he had a good mind to go fetch it and then return and use it to beat some common sense into this other boy's ANBU's skull - then he'd be having some fun. But somehow, incredibly, self-control of some degree got its claws into him and instead he stalked up the stairs to stand a step down from the landing the silver-haired ninja was pathetically clambering up to.

"Yes, the colour you're dripping is a particularly startling shade of Suicidal Idiocy, I believe it's the tone of the season next to hints of Brainless Incompetence."

Toes tapping silently on the stair in annoyance, he continued to glare in assessment at his patient (whether he thought he was or not) and determined with one look that not only was his arm broken (if not fractured), but he had at least one burn on him (the smell was there) and was about to fall down comatose or close to it in a stimulant crash.

"Come with me down to the Infirmary. It turns out I did indeed stoop to the job of mopping up your sorry hide."

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Kakashi let go of his arm to grab onto the steel banister and steady himself, upward progress arrested now the Hyuuga brat was blocking the way. His hound mask was pushed to one side of his head, which meant the apparently insane ninja--he had to be a ninja, most Hyuuga were, and only ninja ever got this stupid around other ninja--could really appreciate the one-eyed glare Kakashi was giving him. "It goes stunningly with the Unwanted Interference you're oozing all over the stairs, then. Well done us."

If he really focused he could drag up some actual killing intent and hope it was enough to make the Hyuuga drop down dead. Or at least fall over for a bit. Kakashi wasn't entirely sure he was currently capable of delivering a blow that was up to accomplishing the task.

"There's no medic in the Infirmary," he drawled, letting his words lengthen into something entirely more irritating then a simple snap would be. "Which is unfortunate, because if you don't get out of my way you're going to need one."

Fuck the fact that the world was blurring, he was an ANBU now. ANBU could fight under any conditions.

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For the sake of that grating little drawl, Haruichi oh-so-quietly scowled and didn't for a second bat an eye for the death-glare being hurled at him from the other ANBU's dark eyed depths. There was a moment to wonder why his other eye was covered (because chances were astronomically against him being allowed in ANBU with only one working eye... surely) or why his face was mostly hidden by a mask but Haruichi, with the triage instinct of a pragmatic bastard, decided that if he was going to ponder anything, it'd damn well be what mattered.

"You're bloody right there's no medic in the Infirmary. He's standing in Stairwell Two inbetween the first and ground floors being pathetically bitched at by a patient who can barely stand," Haruichi snapped authoritatively, his impatience showing - pale as this one probably usually was, nobody should be as white as the small patch of skin he could see was. "And unless you want me to kick you down these stairs and have even more injuries to practice my healing arts on, you'll stop climbing and come and get some proper medical attention right now."

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Kakashi studied the supposed medic and his identical double, blinking hard until the two resolved into one person. He'd already noticed the Hyuuga was short, young, and barefoot, but now he was picking out other details. A white t-shirt and black combats did not a medic's uniform make. Nor did he see a hitai-ate or scarlet spiral tattoo, or even a set of dogtags to declare the teenager's claim to be a medic as true. The attitude gave him a point in that regard, but for all Kakashi knew he could be a snotty, suicidal civilian that had gotten horribly lost and wanted to pick a fight. Civilians were insane, you never knew what they could do.

"Been to the hospital already," he said with perfect honesty and a scowl. "If you're really a medic you should go there and help people who actually need it." Stopping had been a mistake. Stopping mid-staircase had definitely been a critical error in judgement. Kakashi renewed his hold on the railing and steadied himself. Either the Hyuuga was screaming or there was a roar in his ears, and that was never good. He jerked his head hard enough to crack his neck and locked his knees before he carried out the Hyuuga's threat for him and pitched his own way down the steps. "You can try kicking me," he added, raising his voice to speak over the noise. "Just as long as you don't mind losing a foot."

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Despite himself, Haruichi glanced left and right and up in an effort to locate the reason this half-dead moron had suddenly felt the need to make himself even more loudly heard. As if anyone with an ounce of common sense would broadcast their idiocy on all frequencies like he was doing. "I get the feeling dealing with you people is going to mean taking that risk," Haruichi snarled, his temper finally flaring up in indignant frustration - how the hell was he supposed to take care of any of these lunatics if this was what came of it? "Because like it or not, this perpetual self-sacrificing pity-party you twats in black have going on here has been crashed. Your old medic is dead, I'm here now. Unfortunate as you may find it, life goes on. Now turn around and get moving unless you want me to try and treat you right here."

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Kakashi knew the old medic was dead, that was why he'd made the--unnecessary--trip to the hospital. When he'd joined ANBU a fortnight back, he hadn't been surprised to learn their health plan was fucked. It made sense. Everyone was dead. Only fitting the medic was, too.

Kakashi didn't like where that train of thought led him, so he kicked it aside.

"Do you normally find it so hard to take no for an answer?" he demanded, still managing to drawl. The world was starting to slip sideways. He couldn't hear over the roar in his ears. "Because that speaks of a serious character flaw. You should go away and deal with that." There were three steps to the landing, and then another two flights of stairs. He could make that. He could definitely make that. "Now for preference."

Kakashi pushed himself away from the railing, wavered, caught his balance and took a step. Then another. That put him on eye level with the Hyuuga. Two white eyes delivered a glare that was almost as effective as Kakashi's one-eyed dark one. The Hyuuga was still blocking the way. Kakashi grabbed for the railing again and missed, lurching sideways until his hip cracked against iron. For a second he found a wincing moment of stability, fall arrested by the railing and the precise angle of his lean. Kakashi used that second to say the most important thing, glaring up with one pain-glazed eye through a fall of dirty hair. "You don't... you aren't Rin."

The roar was a thunder-crack through his head, drowning everything else out. Black crowded Kakashi's vision, then the world went away.

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Though he'd seen it coming, Haruichi still blinked in surprise when the ANBU in front of him fell unconscious. Well, tried to fall - because Haruichi's hands snatched out and grabbed the taller boy by the shoulder and elbow, pushed him securely against the wall and there was absolutely no more falling to be done now that idiot-brains wasn't in charge of himself anymore.

Not that Haruichi thought he had been when he snarled that last part out loud. Because now he had the sinking sensation he knew who this was, and what might be going on.

Scowling, he took a half-second to work out how to do this right, then levered the rest of the unconscious agent's weight into his care, shifted him around so his feet dragged on the ground but the rest was heaved up in front of the medic's chest and Haruichi managed to awkwardly drag him down the stairs backwards, with only his booted heels thumping one by one down the steps.

Hell, that was what you got for passing out on a flight of stairs. And this was Haruichi being nice, because even now he was severely tempted to drag him all the way to the Infirmary by his thatchy silver hair.

But no, he thought as he elbowed open the door to the stairwell and started dragging his patient through the hall and past the highly bemused stare of the chuunin at the desk, not this one - even if he royally deserved it. Haruichi managed to shove open the door to the stairs for the basements and kept going until he was back in the familiar and safe surroundings of the Infirmary. Another heave of effort and he had him up on the metal exam table, even managing to nudge a pillow under his head before it thumped off the hard metal.

The door was shut. The lights all turned on and the kit-cart he'd spent two hours yesterday re-assembling and stocking wheeled over. Haruichi looked at the unconscious and bleeding scrap of life on his exam table and gritted his back teeth fiercely. Idiot. Then he let the few memories he had of Rin-sensei flit through his mind and sighed. Idiot with a reason, he supposed. Not that he'd admit it ever.

"The infamous Hatake Kakashi," he muttered, getting his surgical tools out and wondering how long this kind of surgery was supposed to take. Haruichi had dealt broken bones before, during the Kyuubi attack, but that'd been pre-amble until they got to the hospital. Plus Kakashi had more than just the broken arm to worry about. Burnt hand, chakra exhaustion, plenty of deep tissue bruising and what looked like dehydration to some degree.

Well, he'd needed the practice hadn't he? Haruichi got to work.

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