InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Boop!"

River Tam [Firefly] (notright) wrote in chances_net,
@ 2025-01-22 15:02:00

Entry tags:

firefly: inara serra, firefly: kaylee frye, firefly: river tam, harry potter: albus potter, marvel: lila barton (mcu), teen wolf: stiles stilinski

Network Post: River Tam
[cw: medical experimentation on a minor]

[FRIENDS]*
I know I'm strange. Simon says I'm not supposed to tell people why, but it's different here. And Simon isn't with me.

When I was fourteen I was invited to a special school. It was supposed to be more challenging. I was finishing my PhD in physics but I was bored, so I begged my parents to let me go. They did.

It wasn't a school. They performed experimental surgeries on us there. They stripped my amygdala. Other things too. Too many surgeries. Then I started hearing things, seeing things, in my brain instead of with my ears and my eyes. They did experiments on that too. Tried to make me better at it. They trained me to fight. Turned me into a weapon.

I got a letter out for Simon after two years. It took another two years before he found a way to get me out. To rescue me. And then I met Kaylee and Inara and everyone else on Serenity. I was dangerous for a while but I'm better now. Safer. Never safe.

I wanted to tell you all. Because we're friends. And that's important.

[KAYLEE & INARA]
Was that... okay?

*[ask if unsure!]

(Post a new comment)

	FRIENDS yourplanssuck 2025-01-22 11:56 pm UTC (link)
	That had to be hard for you to tell people, River. Does what they did hurt? Now I mean. It obviously hurt when they did it. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	FRIENDS notright 2025-01-23 03:32 am UTC (link)
	No nociceptors in the brain. Can't feel pain. I have bad dreams. Flashbacks sometimes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	FRIENDS yourplanssuck 2025-01-23 03:34 am UTC (link)
	That seems kind of dangerous. I have nightmares too. I’m sorry, they’re hard. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	FRIENDS notright 2025-01-23 03:53 am UTC (link)
	Talk to evolution. They're better than right after. Easier. Did yours get easier? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	FRIENDS yourplanssuck 2025-01-23 04:21 am UTC (link)
	They’re better than they were, yeah. I’m not much of a sleeper though. Is there something that makes all this better for you? Something we can do? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	FRIENDS notright 2025-01-23 05:12 am UTC (link)
	Simon knows words to put me to sleep. I don't like when he uses them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	FRIENDS yourplanssuck 2025-01-23 06:39 am UTC (link)
	Avoiding those words, then. Anything else? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	FRIENDS notright 2025-01-24 12:32 am UTC (link)
	It's alright, Stiles. You don't have to worry so much. I'm a lot better now than I used to be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	FRIENDS yourplanssuck 2025-01-24 12:44 am UTC (link)
	It’s my default starting position, can’t help it. But that’s good. That it’s better I mean. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	FRIENDS notright 2025-01-24 12:56 am UTC (link)
	After Miranda, everything got easier. Some secrets take up a lot of space. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	FRIENDS yourplanssuck 2025-01-24 01:02 am UTC (link)
	You’re right about secrets. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Friends aimattheheart 2025-01-23 12:47 am UTC (link)
	Oh my gosh. That's so scary! I don't think you're strange, though, River. Different, but a lot of people are in a lot of ways. And having a supernatural ability is nothing around here, you're practically one of the crowd and that's super okay. I'm glad your brother found you and was able to get you to a safer place. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Friends notright 2025-01-23 03:41 am UTC (link)
	Thank you. I'm not used to fitting. I'm glad too. It's nice, having friends. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Friends aimattheheart 2025-01-23 06:15 pm UTC (link)
	You deserve friends. What happened to you was awful but just remember, it wasn't at any point your fault and it's okay to not always be okay with it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Friends notright 2025-01-24 12:33 am UTC (link)
	I haven't thought about... being okay with it. Just riding out the aftershocks. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Friends aimattheheart 2025-01-24 12:47 am UTC (link)
	It's a common phrase with mental health. "It's okay to not be okay". Meaning when we're sad or scared or hurt, that's okay and we don't have to pretend we're not. You went through a lot and you're still here, being strong and surviving and making friends and now you're being open and vulnerable. That all makes you a really amazing person. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Friends notright 2025-01-24 12:58 am UTC (link)
	I never thought about it like that, either. Thank you. I never studied psychology much. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Friends aimattheheart 2025-01-28 02:59 am UTC (link)
	Probably a little more abstract than the sciences you know. You've got all the super complex stuff I couldn't ever grasp. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Friends notright 2025-02-08 06:01 am UTC (link)
	Everybody's got to be good at different things. It wouldn't be very efficient if we were all good at the same ones. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Friends notsopotter 2025-01-23 01:11 am UTC (link)
	Thank you for trusting us with this, River. I'm so sorry you went through all that. For the record, you are not strange to me. You are unique and I love that about you. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: Friends notright 2025-01-23 03:46 am UTC (link)
	Thank you. For making it safe to trust you. Unique. I like that word. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Friends notsopotter 2025-01-23 02:01 pm UTC (link)
	I'm glad you feel safe with me. It perfectly describes you, love. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Friends notright 2025-01-24 12:34 am UTC (link)
	I promise if one of them finds me here, I won't let them hurt you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Friends notsopotter 2025-01-24 03:31 pm UTC (link)
	We won't let them hurt you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Friends notright 2025-01-25 05:37 pm UTC (link)
	I'm okay. They won't hurt me. I'm more useful alive. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Friends notsopotter 2025-01-25 05:38 pm UTC (link)
	They are terrible people and I hope they never come here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Friends notright 2025-01-25 05:46 pm UTC (link)
	They won't have the same power here. Not the same government. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Friends notsopotter 2025-01-25 05:50 pm UTC (link)
	Good. I'd like to hex them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Friends notright 2025-01-25 08:14 pm UTC (link)
	That's really nice to say. Thank you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Friends notsopotter 2025-01-25 09:33 pm UTC (link)
	I mean it. Do you want a hug? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Friends notright 2025-01-25 09:36 pm UTC (link)
	Yes. Please. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Friends notsopotter 2025-01-25 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	I'll be right there. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	SERENITY GIRLS kaywinnet 2025-01-23 02:51 am UTC (link)
	I'm prouda you, you know that? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	SERENITY GIRLS notright 2025-01-23 03:47 am UTC (link)
	For using my words? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	SERENITY GIRLS kaywinnet 2025-01-25 11:24 pm UTC (link)
	For using your words and for trusting people with them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	SERENITY GIRLS notright 2025-01-26 05:50 am UTC (link)
	I have good friends. I should trust them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	SERENITY GIRLS kaywinnet 2025-01-26 04:04 pm UTC (link)
	You have great friends. Way more here than you probably ever thought you could. And you still got me anyway. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	SERENITY GIRLS notright 2025-02-08 06:02 am UTC (link)
	I never had time for friends, before. Even before the Academy. Having you is important. We're family. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	SERENITY GIRLS ray_of_light 2025-02-12 03:56 pm UTC (link)
	And you have me as well. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	SERENITY GIRLS ray_of_light 2025-02-02 06:32 pm UTC (link)
	I am proud of you as well, River. It took a lot of courage to be able to do that, but it's an important step in feeling confident in yourself. And I'm always here for you. For both of you, mèimei. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	SERENITY GIRLS notright 2025-02-08 06:03 am UTC (link)
	It feels safe here, with you and Kaylee and all my friends. Like I can just be me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	SERENITY GIRLS ray_of_light 2025-02-08 08:09 pm UTC (link)
	I'm so happy you feel safe here. I'm sure it's what Simon would have wanted for you too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	SERENITY GIRLS notright 2025-02-08 10:37 pm UTC (link)
	Simon would worry. Simon always worries. But maybe he'd worry less if he knew about here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	SERENITY GIRLS ray_of_light 2025-02-12 03:54 pm UTC (link)
	You're right about that. Simon is a worrier alright. But I think he'd want you to be happy doing something you enjoy too. Knowing that you're safe. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	SERENITY GIRLS notright 2025-02-13 04:27 pm UTC (link)
	I like teaching dance. I like the students. They help me learn to be patient. Simon would like that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	SERENITY GIRLS ray_of_light 2025-02-18 04:20 pm UTC (link)
	I can see that. And I'm so happy for you. I think Simon would be too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: SERENITY GIRLS notright 2025-02-18 05:44 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you, Inara. I hope so. (Reply to this) (Parent)