InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "lol fail"

Tony Stark is characteristically hyperverbal. (the_iron_man) wrote in avengers_net,
@ 2020-07-02 14:44:00

Entry tags:

- network, jane foster, rhodey, sif, thor odinson, tony stark, valkyrie

Network + PMs to Val, Sif, Jane, Thor, & Peter Parker
Not to rain on any Captain Murica Parades but I got word from Legal about the whole terrorism and Loki thing.

Good news: For the New York storm, they think they can get those terrorism charges overturned. Those sworn and signed statements helped a lot, since they cooperated each other's accounts and showed Thor was under a lot of traumatic stress.

Bad news: Loki isn't in the country anymore. They basically Guantanamo'd him. He's in 'rehab' on a small island called Genosha. I haven't been able to find out what sort of rehab it is yet. Details are sketch since it was a private island and it's marketing itself as a super exclusive resort destination. They're not even giving the exact location unless you're approved to stay there as a guest.

Better news: We just need to find a good valid reason to get in there. Security is tight and so are the restrictions to be let into the resort. Friday's found some funding from the United States and other allied countries for security and infrastructure projects, but there's nothing specific. We'd be going in blind, but hey. It's us. We got this.

Worse News: Loki's still a war criminal. If the lawyers can push the narrative that he was controlled by the staff, if Loki agrees to undergo a psyche evaluation, that would help his case. They might be able to get away with a reduced sentence.

some good. Some bad.

[private to Val]

I know it's odd coming from me, but don't go jumping the gun. You can't afford to go cracking heads to bust him out. We might need you to convince him that he needs to submit a statement about his mental state when that attack happened. Bruce and I got the readings on the scepter when we studied it.

[private to Sif]

Please keep people from jumping the gun. I mean, like rushing in there with swords drawn.

[private to Jane]

You won't lose anything, Weird Science. They're frozen and contested assets that will be freed up once your charges get dropped. Everything's still there. Friday's got satellite and drone eyes on it all.

[private to Thor]

Hey, Point Break. They're going to need you to do a psych evaluation for PTSD. Are you up to doing that? They think they can get a temporary insanity defense for you, and you can do some community service and pay restitution to the families.

[private to Peter Parker]

I talked to your Aunt. Don't worry. Nothing bad. You're not grounded and it's probably safe to wear the suit and be a hero again. If you watch your back. You need to be careful and we need to be able to trust you. We'll be keeping an eyes on the companies involved with this. If you mess up again, you're going to get the training wheels protocol. Sound like a deal?

(Post a new comment)

angriestqueen
2020-07-02 11:38 pm UTC (link)

network:

I'll find the location. I've got my methods that won't cause trouble for any of us now that I have an idea of where.

Tony
He wouldn't submit to such a thing, I don't think, we are not like you, we have far different lives and lifestyles, Tony. What is normal for us, is insane to half of your professionals.

I will plead my case to handle this under Asgardian laws if I must. Outside of those in the know, the world doesn't know he's my husband. I'm happy to keep that up. I have ideas of how to handle this.

I do not think my patience to sit back while they fuck with him is going to last much longer, though.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

the_iron_man
2020-07-03 12:14 am UTC (link)

Okie dokey. How accurate are your super discrete methods? Asking for a friend.

[Private to Val]

Here's the thing. If he doesn't do it, it's going to make it harder to get most of this hot mess downgraded SO you can do anything under whatever Asgardian law you guys want. So yeah, you're all on Earth so...going to have to work with what you've got.

The lawyers think they have a shot and that they might be able to get him back to you. If no one flies off the handle and messes it up more.

Part of that shot is talking with Thor about HIS issues too. So Asgard's going to have to start looking at different ways to do things for the time being. Capisce?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angriestqueen 2020-07-03 12:23 am UTC (link)
	Reliable. [TONY] That will go over so well. No one is flying off the handle. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2020-07-03 02:28 am UTC (link)
	Iron clad or maybe sketch? [Private to Val] Yeah, well. Got to give it a try. I'll talk to Thor about it. Maybe we can relate somehow. Pfft. You want to fly off the handle so hard, it'll end up rammed through someone's eye socket. I bet you a thousand buckets. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angriestqueen 2020-07-03 02:36 am UTC (link)
	Middle ground. No lies. They can't lie to me ~~maybe~~ [TONY] You aren't getting me anywhere near that, myself. Want is different than actually doing it. What I want to do isn't relevant. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2020-07-03 02:38 am UTC (link)
	Hi. Who's they? I'm side-eyeing you now. [Private to Val] Hey, I went and talked to Bruce about my crap, so yeah. It's a thing that happens. Wow, Asgard has issues. Ok, gotcha. No judgey. But that bet's still on if you want it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angriestqueen 2020-07-03 02:56 am UTC (link)
	Side eye all you want. I'm not spilling the details. Trust me or don't. [TONY] Don't start. You have no idea what as many years as I've seen does to people. Oh you aren't wrong. Someone is going to get my boot through their face by the end of this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2020-07-03 03:02 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, not inspiring confidence there. At all. [private] Too late. Started. I'm already talking to Thor about this. If you get Loki back, do us a solid and talk to him too. Ok? As long as it's not my face, I want to see it happen. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Tony angriestqueen 2020-07-03 03:08 am UTC (link)
	Look. I'm doing what I can do. Leave it alone. I'm not spilling my secrets. They're mine, but I will not get caught, don't worry. I will talk with him. I don't want to put my boot through you, so you can watch. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Val the_iron_man 2020-07-03 04:39 am UTC (link)
	All right. Let's back the truck up, She-ra. I think the least you can do is just give us a HINT, like at least tell me and Steve what's up so we can, you know....not be flying blind? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Tony angriestqueen 2020-07-03 04:46 am UTC (link)
	She-ra? I don't understand the reference. Is that a bad one or a good one? Ghosts. The dead are my realm. With an idea of where he might be, I can use the dead to try to find out more. The risk is mostly confined to me. Happy? And no. I have not told Thor or Sif. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Val the_iron_man 2020-07-03 04:54 am UTC (link)
	She-ra flew around on horse with wings. Like this Anyway. What you're saying is you see dead people. And not in a creepy kid voice. So this mean's you're Goth-ra, the dark and edgey version of She-ra. And that's cool. Yeah. Can see that. Keeping it on the down low. Let us know if you find something you think is useful ok? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Tony angriestqueen 2020-07-03 05:04 am UTC (link)
	Oh. That is actually really cool. Goth-ra... I.. Okay I can handle that. But yes. Comes with being valkyrie. The job not the name. Good. ~~I don't even know if I can~~ if you must tell Steve, tell no one else. Please. I will tell you any thing I find of use. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Val the_iron_man 2020-07-03 05:07 am UTC (link)
	Asgard needs cartoons. All right. I'll give a heads up to Steve later. If you can't find anything major, it'll save face if you don't get any info other than making sure Rock of Ages is ok. Sound good? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Tony angriestqueen 2020-07-03 05:15 am UTC (link)
	Please tell me I get to be Goth-ra in places where you don't feel like using my actual name, I'm amused at this. Don't worry, I'm not spilling information unless it is useful. And I'm not outing that ability to the world. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

She-Ra

the_iron_man
2020-07-03 08:37 pm UTC (link)

Ok, getting the whole mysterious vibe that you're throwing down. Promise not to blurt it out, but it's probably handy to let a few people know you can do that. You know, in case of emergency, break out the ghosts.

Nope, you're She-ra. That's your codename now. I give everyone a code name. And Goth-ra wouldn't make sense since that sounds closer to Mumm-ra who was a crusty old mummy that got buff because why not and fought a bunch of cat people.

I'd call you Xena but SHIELD already labeled Sif with that one. And Sif doesn't have a flying horse.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Tony angriestqueen 2020-07-03 08:44 pm UTC (link)
	You know. Wanda has an idea. Loki will know. I give you permission to tell Steve. See, a few people know. Okay yeah no I like She-Ra. The flying horse really makes it, doesn't it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	She-ra the_iron_man 2020-07-03 08:46 pm UTC (link)
	All right. Is it ok to share that with Fury? He's the head of SHIELD and a super secret spy that we coordinate with for missions. It so does. Show it to Morgan some time, ok? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Tony angriestqueen 2020-07-03 08:54 pm UTC (link)
	With the caveat this isn't something anyone can order me to do. It is not without price to me, and it is not something to use carelessly. It isn't something to do without a lot of thought. I would be happy to take Morgan for a ride. I think she would like that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Val

the_iron_man
2020-07-03 09:03 pm UTC (link)

If it's a strain or has conditions, maybe I'll keep it need to know then. If it comes up, maybe ask you first to keep it under cover and we can ask permission first.

You're going to be one of the coolest people to that kid. Just sayin.

How're things going with running New Asgard? And how are you holding up, since you don't seem like you're going to run off half cocked and put a boot into someone's face anyway.

I'd be a dick if I didn't ask, since there's not much else I can do other than pay for legal aid. And no government can stop that so 🖕🖕 to Ross.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony

angriestqueen
2020-07-03 09:09 pm UTC (link)

It does. If the situation could benefit from it, we can approach it then.

I strive to be the coolest to kids. Or something. I'm working on that angle.

Things are busy. I've got stockpiles of food and supplies, keeping our farmers as fishermen busy. I can't afford to put a boot through someone's face..as important as Loki is to me, we do not have that many people left. I can't afford to pull a Thor tantrum version 2 and put them in harms way.

My people need to be safe, healthy and fed. I will get Loki out, but I won't put them in harms way for it. Not unless I have no other choice.

I'm grateful for all your help. I really am.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Val

the_iron_man
2020-07-03 09:14 pm UTC (link)

It's fine. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Sounds like you've got everything all shored up and bases covered. And it's good no one's gonna pull another Thorstorm or Thormageddon. That'd make a bigger mess and none of us could afford that, here or there.

Glad I asked. This'll get sorted out. It's just taken a while longer, since it's a super sticky situation.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Tony angriestqueen 2020-07-03 09:17 pm UTC (link)
	No. I wouldn't let that happen. It is. And I'll do everything I can to get him out faster. And I can't promise I'll be patient forever, but, I'm going to try to do things in the shadows, as it were, and help us get this moving. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Val the_iron_man 2020-07-04 12:32 am UTC (link)
	The older I get, the more I realize I've made enough messes to know when to back off and let the lawyers handle it. Playing nice now means New Asgard stays safe, so you're doing a good job there. For sure. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Tony angriestqueen 2020-07-04 12:39 am UTC (link)
	Thanks. I mean it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Val the_iron_man 2020-07-04 12:49 am UTC (link)
	Hey, I got along with past versions of you, including the one I partied with at Loki's apartment. That seems like forever ago. Basically. I'm gonna get along with you too. We're all stuck in this together. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Tony angriestqueen 2020-07-04 12:52 am UTC (link)
	Oh dear. That is quite the story, isn't it? We are. I get along with you, I am not easy to get along with, I'm impressed (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Val the_iron_man 2020-07-04 12:54 am UTC (link)
	Hey, I'm not easy to get along with either. And yeah, it was. I think I shaved a few years off my liver's lifespan and someone set that floor of the building on fire. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Tony angriestqueen 2020-07-04 06:16 am UTC (link)
	It sounds like a real fun time. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Private tordenguden 2020-07-03 02:11 am UTC (link)
	What is PTSD and why must I speak to a professional about it? I don't understand. I am more than happy to pay some restitution and donate what is necessary. (Reply to this) (Thread)

Private

the_iron_man
2020-07-03 02:26 am UTC (link)

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's a fancy way of saying "Hi, I lost my parents, my planet, and my brother, and I kind of lost my cool for a little while because of that."

Look. I'm not trying to dredge up bad feels. Restitution won't be enough. They'll want a reason and a way to prove that, based on that reason, you won't be doing that ever again. And trust me. Flip-side You? You know, the one that said he wanted a Bloody Mary during an Avengers meeting?

That's what PTSD does to people. It messes you up for a while. Or for a really long time.

It's entirely normal to feel that way too. Lots of people on Earth have it. Hell, I have it. I woke up in a cave with a car battery hooked up to my chest, thanks to some terrorists. It messes you up on the inside. Not just the outside.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Private tordenguden 2020-07-03 03:27 pm UTC (link)
	I was not aware there was a word for it in your language. This truly is an interesting realm. Bloody Mary's are a breakfast food in some parts of your world. It seemed appropriate at the time. Whatever will help, I can assist with; however, we are private people. I will not be able to share much that will make sense to outsiders. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private

the_iron_man
2020-07-03 08:30 pm UTC (link)

Yeah. It's like you've stuck your brain in a fire and had it crammed back in your head. You know, you're a big strong guy but you've also been through a metric shit ton. It doesn't make what happened right, but it explains why you flipped your gold-plated lid.

Generally, if you're drinking Bloody Marys for breakfast, you're an alcoholic. Take it from me, since I had a super casual open relationship with booze for a while there. And that, my big Shakespeare talky friend, is how sex tapes happen.

All you need to do is explain what happened with your fam and your planet, and that having your last family link taken like that made you lose control. Which is true, isn't it?

(Reply to this) (Parent)

science_fact
2020-07-03 02:17 am UTC (link)

What kind of excuse to get to this place do we need? Isn't 'billionaire Tony Stark wants to go on vacation' enough of a reason? Or if any of us go it's going to send up red flags?

Tony
Thank you for watching my house. Darcy said it was locked down when so that helps.

Couple questions: all of my assets? All of Thor's money was under my name. And what about my passport?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

the_iron_man
2020-07-03 02:36 am UTC (link)

Uh well, I tried to book for everything outside of the rehab and it told me NO. Then I tried as Pepper (sorry Pep) and they said NO. I hacked and tried as several world figures and they said NO.

I even tried the celebrity wedding destination package for shits and giggles. I'm already celebrity married, so my request for a celebrity wedding was denied right off the bat, even though I said it was a recommitment ceremony and I'd pay a few million to get there. Still got denied.

So. Yeah. Apparently they're super picky and not even I can get in. Go fig.

[Private]

Yeah all of that stuff is locked down but I've had Friday keep an eye on your assets. Those are frozen but there's no movement on the funds or your I.D.s. Lawyers are sure they can get you off the hook this month, though, and everything will be reinstated the moment a judge okays it and the paperwork is filed.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	science_fact 2020-07-03 02:50 am UTC (link)
	Huh. [Private] Thank you. I care about my house and I wouldn't worry about the money except it's Thor's. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

the_iron_man
2020-07-03 02:59 am UTC (link)

Yeah, it's a little funky. I sent an email to their travel advisory board and they say that their selection process is 'unique' and they are legally obligated to avoid mentioning any recent clientele.

Nothing on the island's internet network either. Absolutely no listed names on their end, and zero traceable transactions. I've never seen anything like it before. Even Friday's wondering WTF.

[private]

No prob. Sorry it took so long to let you two know.

Uh, maybe you can talk to Thor and convince him that sitting down with a court appointed psychiatrist to evaluate him for PTSD is a good idea? I'm trying. But maybe a wing woman on this wouldn't hurt.

The lawyers think they can clear 99 of Asgard's problems up if they can link it to that conditions, and give reassurances that it's a one time occurrence. Then restitution and community service. Betcha he'd be popular at the children hospitals.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	science_fact 2020-07-03 05:01 pm UTC (link)
	What is the point of having all the money if there's something you can't buy when you need it? [Private] Is that wht he needs to do? I'll try but it's not very Asgardian. I just told Darcy they're more of a "hang onto their emotions for 1,000 years until they need to conquer something" kind of people. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2020-07-03 05:55 pm UTC (link)
	Way to rub the salt in my bank account's soul. [private] Yeah, that's been working out great for them. Especially when it kinda blows up in other world's faces. More than once. I like Thor, he's great, but c'mon. Something's gotta give here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

science_fact
2020-07-03 06:15 pm UTC (link)

Happy to help.

Logically what options are left? You can't get in as yourself or someone else. Rehab doesn't seem to be an option. You're already married. Do we know anyone else to try and enter for marriage reservation? Or is that invite only as well?

[Private]
I'll try. You have to remember their perspective on things is shaped by lifespans of many thousands of years. I'll talk to him.

And thank you. We appreciate the help, truly.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

the_iron_man
2020-07-03 08:25 pm UTC (link)

I kinda did the celebrity wedding parade. Think I wore out that welcome mat with the media already. It'd have to be someone pretty big to get in there with a wedding party.

[Private]

Thanks, Jane, and hey, don't mention it. I think if he'd do it, it'd really help a lot toward showing he had a reason for that happening and also that he's sorry and wants to make it right. It would get things cleared up with you really fast too.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	Jane got_you 2020-07-03 09:39 pm UTC (link)
	Call me. ASAP. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	got_you 2020-07-03 03:20 pm UTC (link)
	You've never been very good at pretending to be me. Now you have me intrigued. Something even Tony Stark can't get? Shocking! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2020-07-03 05:53 pm UTC (link)
	I know. I think my life has lost a little bit of meaning. Financially. (Reply to this) (Parent)

Tony

asgardswarrior
2020-07-03 02:08 pm UTC (link)

I shall do my best. Val is impatient and I am doing what I can to keep her occupied. Thor has come out of his house because Val and I dragged him out to spar, but the effort has made him try to do better, so I count it a success. If someone is to fly off the handle, it will be Val.

I took Jane to Oslo so she could celebrate the holy day of her people, but she is also restless and frustrated. I understand her concerns. Not just that she is without funds, but New Asgard is nothing like New York and there is little for her to do even with the equipment she has here. If there is aught that can be done for her, please consider it. She is truly the innocent in all this.

(Replies frozen) (Thread)

Sif

the_iron_man
2020-07-03 08:17 pm UTC (link)

It's good that Thor isn't holed up there turning into the Big Lebowski.

As for the rest of it? I think feeling restless and frustrated is normal. It took a while to unbury what our government was trying to shovel a lot of dirt on top of. Apparently they took Loki on the war criminal tour of high security lockdown facilities.

I can't send over anything large, obviously since it won't fit through a doorway, or any money. But I can push some lab equipment through the door into her spare bedroom.

Or a toaster. She can build things out of toasters.

(Replies frozen) (Parent)

	Tony themachineroxx 2020-07-03 02:13 pm UTC (link)
	Who could we get put into rehab to help us out here? (Replies frozen) (Thread)

Rhodey

the_iron_man
2020-07-03 05:52 pm UTC (link)

Got desperate and already tried that angle too, along with throwing money at them.

Response was "We do not accept anyone for rehabilitation unless they are thoroughly reviewed and invited to our facility based on a vote of approval from the clinic's board of directors. This process can take between 6 to 12 months, based on the most urgent need to the least urgent."

Apparently the board has someone higher up that can sure get a space alien in there pronto. But regular earthlings are trash. Including me.

It's a place I can't pull strings to get into. I'm going to have a sad now.

(Replies frozen) (Parent)

	Private thespiderling 2020-07-06 01:24 am UTC (link)
	Uh, the whole island resort thing sounds weird? From what Wanda said, it definitely doesn't seem like he's chilling on a beach somewhere. How do you even get approved to stay as a guest? It's a deal, pinky swear and everything. I really missed Spider-manning, but I think the break sorta helped a lot of things. It's crazy what having a normal sleep schedule can do. (Reply to this)