TEXT TO JAMES: Mr. Padfoot requests that, when Mr. Prongs can be bothered to trouble himself with the affairs of less worthwhile people than the pair of us, he look at the text Sabrina just sent all of sundry and explain why, in the actual fuck, she is concerning uninterested parties with the state of both her pussies. Should Mr. Prongs feel galvanised to inform her of such, Salem is currently in the library playing with some rats who have been transfigured to be abnormally chubby, as Mr. Padfoot can not be fucked.
TEXT TO HARRY:Quit mooning over your wife and come have dinner with your godfather.