inspiteofdanger (inspiteofdanger) wrote in _fracture_, @ 2014-01-30 00:18:00 |
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Entry tags: | chapter 1, kai, ronin, the regent hotel |
giving in
Who: Ronin and Kai
Where: the bar, then Kai's room
When: late
Ronin was back in his room. It seemed the most logical place to be. He’d tried his phone again and again but had gotten nothing but endless ringing. He knew that meant his calls couldn’t be going out. There was no way, at this late in the game, that Kai wouldn’t have her phone on and waiting to hear from him. It just wasn’t like her. So he was pretty sure that things were FUBAR’d. Still he couldn’t sit still. He picked up his laptop and decided to find somewhere to listen and edit tracks without disturbing someone. He stuck the key to his room in his back pocket and went into the hall, taking the stairs downward. He didn’t expect to see anyone really. Instead he was singing “Even Want Her on Sunday” a bit loudly, listening to the acoustics of the hallway with a slight grin. It was a good song. He needed to thank Kai again for the thousandth time for suggesting it years ago.
Kai had been wandering the hotel. What else was there to do after discovering she clearly couldn't leave? The place almost seemed endless, though that probably wasn't true. Still, that idea was somewhere in her head as she wandered slowly, taking pictures as she went. When she heard a familiar song, she automatically drifted in that direction, thinking she hadn't heard this acoustic recording before. It eventually brought her out into what looked like a gorgeous courtyard, and she looked around until she spotted - “Ronin!” she cried, immediately rushing toward him. She wanted to bowl him over and hug him, but she curbed that, thinking of his back before she could hurt him.
Ronin heard her before he saw her and the sound was like lightning. There was a split second of utter disbelief and some kind of thought that he was watching cartoons. Then Kai was in his arms and he was hugging her kind of hard. And laughing. "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded though he was so not going to be unhappy she was here. Not for a second.
She hugged him back just as tight. “Mai and I stopped for the night!” she told him. “Now it seems like something weird is going on here?” she suggested. “I don't know. What are you doing here?” she asked in return, giving him another squeeze. She was incredibly happy to see him. The place was weird and she was doing her best not to freak out about it, but if Ronin was here? Hell, it would be fine, right?
Ronin shook his head. "I have no idea. I went to sleep on your couch last night. You were traveling with Mai?" He looked as confused as he felt. Nothing seemed like it was right. "I don't think we're supposed to be here at all. There are random people here," he said, thinking of Syd who was definitely not part of his life before. "Is Mai okay? Have you seen anyone else?"
“You weren't even traveling?” she asked. His sleeping on her couch was fine, he did that a lot. He had his own key to her place. “And if I wasn't there hogging the bed, why did you sleep on the couch?” she asked. “Mai's fine, she's even making cute little smiles about this guy she used to know being here. Don't tell her I said it's cute though. But it is. What do you mean random people?”
He shook his head at her question. "What reason would I have to travel anyway? It'd be cool if we had tour dates but we don't." He shrugged and stepped back even though he really didn't want to. "I don't know why I was on the couch. I guess I must've come in late or something. I just woke up figuring that was where I was supposed to have woken up." He chuckled at her report on Mai. "You're joking, right? I didn't think that girl ever did anything close to a smile. Who's the guy? Do you know him?" He paused a moment before answering. "Well people I don't know. Like this girl named Syd." He grinned because he liked Syd. "She's badass. A fighter from Vegas. She was the first person I saw."
“I dunno, with your band?” Kai said with a half smirk. “But right, no tour dates. Well shit. I dunno. Yeah, we were just traveling, heading for a shoot? But it got late so we stopped. Now we can't leave. The place seems to teleport you someplace else when you try. It's...weird. And insane. And I'm not sure I haven't been slipped one hell of a hallucinogen.” She considered the rest, taking a seat on the bench. “I sorta remember him from when we were younger? I guess he's some big shot now, who can say shit like 'my contacts in New York'. So, y'know, possibly perfect for Mai if he can put up with her shit.” Arching a brow, she eyed him. “A badass fighter from Vegas, and it's a 'her'?”
Ronin knew she knew he didn't have tour dates. They weren't cool like that. He guessed that maybe she was reaching out for something and he tried to fill whatever space she needed. He nodded at her explanation for her traveling with her sister. Something he knew nothing about but it made sense. He nodded. And then nodded more when she explained they couldn't leave. "That's messed up. There has to be a way out somewhere, right?" He shook his head. "Mai found Mr. Perfect-For-Her? No way. That's not even fair. Where's yours?" he demanded, feeling very much like Kai had been cheated. He nodded. "She really is badass. I mean I didn't have a reason for her to prove it but I could tell. I might be in love," he said and laughed because he was playing. Mostly.
“I dunno,” standing right here? Kai said about her 'Mr. Perfect'. “And maybe there's a way out?” She glanced upward. “Should we try climbing? Cuz while that seems fun and all, I kind of see broken necks in our future if we do.” She wasn't worried about it yet. Mostly because she was still sort of half convinced this entire thing was bullshit. That it was a prank of some description, or she was dreaming, or something. When he said he might be in love, she blinked. “I—for real?”
Ronin gave her a wondering look. The old thought from eons ago that she'd mostly dispelled sort of came back. Did she just like girls or something? If she did, he wished she'd just tell him. He'd stop teasing her about guys. Stop wondering what ifs. "You don't think I'd look good in a neck brace." Again? It was out of his mouth before he could stop himself and he hoped she didn't make the connection because he'd only made it himself as it was exiting his mouth. He hurried into a playful grin and nodded. "Oh definitely. Those abs. Those glutes. Gams, guns, eyes. Lips." He was ticking things off on his fingers at this point even though he hadn't really made much of a note on any of those body parts except her eyes. Syd's eyes were gorgeous as was her smile.
Kai did make the connection. She spent hours in the hospital after the accident, when he was unconscious, just sitting in that stupid uncomfortable chair, staring at him as she tried to will him to get better. Even while she was still recovering herself, she was there, like she was haunting him. She was brought back to a sharp memory of standing over him, holding herself partially upright by her portable IV stand, hospital gown letting in a breeze down her back. She remembered being freezing, and that making her injuries ache in that dull, low throbbing way that you can only achieve through cold and pain medication. She remembered standing there, reaching out to pull the blanket up over him more securely, and leaning down to kiss his forehead.
Getting dragged out of her memory was a good thing, though she did unconsciously step a little closer to him as he spoke. “Those are definitely things that generally come with people-shaped beings, yes,” she told him with a nod. “This particular combination of body parts equals a girl who could kick your ass and you could hand your heart to? I have to meet her.” And she wasn't feeling defensive. She wasn't.
Ronin watched her dissolve into thought. That was all he could call it but he recognized it. He felt terrible for having brought all of that to the surface and hoped she came out the other side of the memories less serious. He was alright with her moving closer. His hand found her elbow and squeezed gently. If she'd seemed more emotional he would have hugged her. "She's what I said. She's amazing," he affirmed. "Not sure where she is right now, but I'll definitely introduce you to this wonder woman before I hand my heart to her. I need your take first, as always."
“Of course,” she said with a nod. She bit her tongue on any further comment, telling herself she was being an idiot. She didn't even quite know how to describe how she was feeling, but it wasn't how she wanted to be feeling. She needed to react better here. Good thing she knew how to do that. “I'll vet her, then help plan your wedding,” she told him with a wink. “But just know, fangirls everywhere are going to bawl when they find out.”
Ronin's brow furrowed and he tilted his head toward her. "My wedding? How often have you ever seen me get that serious about a girl?" he asked, because there had never been anyone that serious in his past. Especially not someone he'd just met. "I kind of doubt the fangirls will even know if we can't find a way out of this place. Do you have other ideas? Or are we stuck, in your estimation?"
“How often do you get all gooey and tell me you're practically in love?” Kai countered with with a smirk. “Oh! You totally have to wear a kilt to the ceremony. Cuz that would be sweet.” When he brought the subject back around to their circumstances, she sighed. “I don't know. I haven't tried that much? After getting thrown around the hotel randomly, and feeling like I spent all day being vaguely lost, I quit for a bit. If you want to give it a shot together we can though.”
Well there was that. He grinned and looked down and to the left for a moment with a chuckle until she started talking about the ceremony. Then he looked at her sharply. "Of course I'm wearing a kilt. Full attire. But seriously. My wedding? Over guns and glutes?" He tried to imagine her being tossed randomly around the hotel and didn't like it. Not at all. To the point where he seriously considered throttling the person at the front desk until he or she gave him answers. And a way out. "Maybe you should rest after that. And I'll keep you company." Because really? He didn't want to separate. Nope.
She laughed at that, grinning. “Of course,” she agreed. She glanced around then went to look over some of the overgrown flowers. “I should rest from my confusion? I'm pretty sure I'll be okay,” she added. “We could explore, maybe? Not test doors and stuff, but just straight up look around. Though I have to admit, I like this place. I didn't know there was a courtyard. Oh! But I got some amazing shots of this building. It's just so gorgeous. And we should take some pictures of you out here!”
Ronin rolled his eyes though he was smiling. Whatever she thought she was going to plan? He kind of backed away some. Even though he would have worn a kilt and whatever else traditional if he was really getting married. He watched her give him some sarcasm and chuckled. "Do whatever you do. Rest, don't rest." He laughed a little. "I'm good with exploring. Big time. Especially with you." He looked at her adoringly without realizing it.
She looked back at him and smiled sweetly. “Aww,” she said. He got all sweet sometimes and she got reminded of why he never had trouble with the ladies. Because he was goddamn adorable sometimes, that was why. “Let's do that. It'll distract me from the terrifying possibility that I'm not dreaming.” She walked over to him, and hooked her arm through his. “Though, to be fair, if I was dreaming, you would be here anyways.”
Ronin was confused suddenly. Why would it be terrifying if she wasn't dreaming. What was she expecting or experiencing with him that wasn't okay? He frowned. "Kai. This doesn't sound okay."
“Sorry,” she said, making a face. “It's just weird. Mai told me about the doors before I learned about it, and I just didn't believe her. Because for real? A door that just teleports you somewhere else? What the hell is that? Last time I checked, we didn't live in the Twilight Zone. And yet. It's happening. I'm trying hard to not freak out, which, now that I know you're here, will be a billion times easier.”
Ronin listened to her and he found himself on the same plane. But the Twilight Zone? Whatever had happened to her that wasn't real sort of was out of his experience. Still, he couldn't ignore the fact she'd held on to him. That he was here. "Kai, this is too strange. Is this real?" he asked.
She wished she could easily answer that. She drew in a breath and it stuck in her throat a moment. “...I think so?” she suggested sounding not so sure of herself. Then she rolled her eyes. “Okay, let's do this. Say this is real. What do we do then? Hunt for a way out? Start searching for Jack Torrence in the halls?”
Ronin gave her a sharp look. "Uh no Jack Torrence. No. But we could definitely try to find other people. If Mai is here with her 'Perfect' guy and Syd I mean there has to be others. We just have to look, right?" He was looking at her like she had answers though. Needing her to either lead him out or curl up with him and kiss his chin.
Kai could tell he was waiting for her to take the lead. It worked like that with them. She had more of a driven personality than he did. She could do the take charge thing and it felt natural, he was a much more fluid person. It worked well, the ebb and flow of their dynamic. With how he sounded, she realized she probably needed to play this like everything was fine, so she did. “There's definitely bound to be others,” she said with a nod, even if she knew no such thing. “And there's got to be a way out, too! Because this all feels real. I don't recall my dreams ever having the super boring details of like... 'And then I showered, and nicked my thigh shaving my legs'.”
She chose lead out. And well he couldn't complain even if her means were unconventional. The curl up version would have been delusional. He knew it. He nodded when she said there had to be others. He knew that. He'd prepared for that. What he hadn't prepared for was this thing. This place. The way it made him rethink shit because what else could he do? "I'm sure you're right," he said, his tone detached, flat.
Kai stopped then squared herself in front of him, shaking her head as she reached up to put her hands on his cheeks. “Ohhh, nono no,” she told him, shaking her head. “You snap out of it. This is gonna be okay, somehow. I have no idea how! But hey! Ten minutes ago, we didn't know the other was here! And now we do. So, things have just gotten exponentially better, haven't they!”
Ronin focused in on Kai in a way he'd never done before. She was there and there was no denying her. Not even if he'd wanted to - which he didn't. He blinked and worked to take her in, nodding slowly. He wasn't entirely there though, his mind in the trenches as she pulled it slowly out. His mouth gravitated toward hers and then he chuckled. "Okay, okay," he said quietly. "Alright, Kai. We're here. Together. Thank you."
She didn't know where he'd gone, mentally, but she could see it when he clicked back into things with her. She smiled, then squished his cheeks a little, pinching them. “You're welcome!” she said brightly. “Anything is dealable, so long as we're here with each other! This I command! I'm going to pretend you don't notice that I'm not Serpentor and you just listen!”
He seemed to realize he was on the edge of not okay. Especially because she either glossed over it or didn't notice. It was good. For him, at least. Whatever his problem was it was not registering for Kai and that was good! He shook his head at her. "Serpentor? What in the world are you even talking about? His fingers found her ribs briefly to tickle a little.
When he started talking and seemed more himself she realized how close he'd been. How close they'd been. Which almost had her blushing, and wanting to pull him closer again at the same time. She had a serious issue with inappropriate thoughts with him sometimes. She hadn't even been drinking. “Serpentor! You remember. The dickwad in GI Joe who like, literally ran around in a yellow snake outfit and yelled 'This I command!' all the time? I still have trouble believing that anyone ever took him seriously. I buy more that he was like, just really crazy and everyone humored him, while secretly meeting off to the side to go over the real plans.”
Ronin listened to her explain and wasn't sure why he was so off. How'd he missed this stuff? Especially since she was so up on it. Hadn't he tried to be up on it too? He pressed his lips together and frowned as he realized they were not on the same subject. Which had him really off-kilter. "I… Kai? This place… This. I mean, are we good? I don't even think I know where we are." Which had registered before but not on a desperation level. Not until now.
“I sort of don't know where we are either. Besides 'in a hotel that ate us',” Kai said, hugging him. He looked like he needed one. Maybe she needed one too. “But we'll be okay,” this she said firmly, so he'd believe her. She really hoped she was right. He was there. She felt like that meant everything would be fine. “Cuz wherever we are, we're here together, right? And so long as that's the score, then we're ahead.”
Ronin couldn't help but chuckle. "You think it ate us?" he asked and tried not to laugh because that was kind of funny. He knew that she was right about them being ok. He looked her in the eyes. Serious about how he felt.
“It did something! 'Eat' is a good way to put it! Maybe! If you've got something better, feel free to jump right in here and make me sound less like a total nutjob,” she said, smirking. “But whatever. We'll figure it out. And we'll listen to Mai complain the whole time about missing shoots, and all that, and it'll be fine. You'll get back to your band and you'll have this great story to tell.”
He shook his head and gave her a stern look. Whatever her plan was, it wasn't up to date. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with it without being rejectionary or not focused in reality. Still, there was some kind of adventure here with her. "You are a total nut job though," he teased, watching her face because it was both beautiful and he needed to see it. "All your stories are belong to us." He said, his look challenging her to come up with something new.
She laughed at that, nudging him a little. “C'mon. Let's walk around. Maybe we can find someplace cool. I'm pretty sure I saw there was supposed to be a bar or something. We should find that. Wait, where are you staying? I'm on the third floor.” She wanted to be close to him. She wondered if she could get a key for her room for him. He could just come stay with her as often as he wanted...she certainly wouldn't mind. In fact, she was thinking she'd feel much better if he was there with her. Now, how to say that without giving away that she was still a little freaked beneath the surface and wanted him there for moral support...and how to do that without also letting him know that she might, maybe a little bit be nursing Feelings in his direction?
Ronin perked up at the mention of a bar. He could do with a beer and unwind a little. Pretend things were normal the way it seemed like Kai might be wanting to do. He let her positive attitude ground him and nodded. “I think that’s the right direction to go in, the bar,” he said with a chuckle. He thought maybe he’d seen it too but he wasn’t sure, turning around in a circle trying to remember if he did know. He stopped, facing her, and grinned. “I’m on the third floor too. Room three seventeen. Creepiest hotel room I’ve ever been in and earlier some girl appeared inside it while I was changing my shirt. I think I freaked her out more than she freaked me out. Do you think that’s going to happen often? Random girls appearing in my room? Because if so, I’m going to convince Mai that my room is better and switch with her.” He nodded, looking serious.
“I'm in 307! Sweet, we aren't far away,” she said, pleased about that. Now, even if they didn't spend the night in each other's room, they were only a few doors down. That had her relaxing a little bit more as well. Then she blinked. “Some girl? Wait, was that Syd? Or is there some other chica running around?” she asked. “I didn't think the place was creepy, I find it all pretty beautiful, really. Just...y'know. Weird, and with impossible stuff going on.” She eyed him sideways as they walked. “I hope you don't have random girls appearing in your room often. That'd get awkward really fast.” Not to mention, she just didn't like that idea.
Ronin was just as pleased as she was that they weren't far away. Not that where they'd awakened had to be where they went to sleep every night. Right? Shit, was he really thinking about this being more than one night already? He wasn't usually a pessimist but some part of him was pulled toward feeling resigned. He shook his head. "No, it wasn't Syd. It was a poor little pale thing called Alyssa. She never smiled once even when I cracked a joke." He grinned mischievously. "I might stay put if Syd appeared suddenly in my room." He had no idea whatsoever if Syd was attracted to him. For all he knew she could like girls best. But it was fun to sort of have a crush. It made things feel normal.
“...really? That's...super hard to believe,” she said with a blink. “I mean, you're a funny guy, Ro. It's your thing.” Then she laughed. “Oh yeah? Have her wrestle you into submission?” she asked, deliberately getting her sport wrong. In fact, Kai was thinking that she was going to keep that up. Just get details wrong, maybe mispronounce the name now and then. Just because.
Ronin nodded and then shrugged, his hands out. "I don't know what it was. It was like I was kryptonite or something. She couldn't leave fast enough. Ah well. Can't win them all, right?" he asked and chuckled. Which then turned into a laugh because the idea of Syd wrestling him into anything was fun. "Ohh yeah, now there's a thought. I guess Mai gets to keep her room after all." He grinned over at Kai and bumped her with his hip.
She wasn't going to twitch. Really. “Yeah, you can't. Maybe she's just freaked out. I know I was earlier. I'm better now that you're here,” she said, totally honest there. “And if you're going to be rolling around the floor with that Cyndie girl, you keep it to yourself!”
Ronin gave her a look that read confusion and incredulity. "Cyndie? Rolling around on the floor?. Her name is Syd and I have no idea that she even likes me. Alyssa sure as hell didn't." He'd been about to hug her when she'd spoken about being freaked out but now he was kind of concerned that she was okay. "You alright there, little willow?"
“I'm okay,” she promised. “Still processing, but okay,” she said. She also was aware that just minutes ago she'd calmed him down, and felt all warm and fuzzy about it. They could do that. Go back and forth and be supportive, filling whatever role was needed at the time. “And I'm sure she does. This Alyssa chick is a total anomaly.”
Ronin nodded though he didn't quite believe she was okay. There was something a little off about her but he wasn't leaving her side so he could keep an eye on it. And there seemed to be the bar up ahead too. "Yeah? You think Syd likes me? Why? She has no reason to. Vegas fights. She's important and probably has a million guys after her." HIs tone was incredulous. More so toward the fact that Kai would simply endorse something so vague.
“You realize no one would ever like anyone if it ran on the logic of 'no reason to', right?” Kai asked with a smirk. “And whatever! Like you aren't important? Who cares about Vegas fights? You make music! You touch people with your songs! You're way more important! And you also have a million girls after you, remember? I screen some of your fanmail and I've totally seen death threats for 'that girl in that one video'.”
That girl in that video being Kai. He looked at her. There was something about all that she'd said that kind of sat strange. He couldn't put his finger on it and so he didn't try. Settling for there being some kind of odd tension between them that maybe a couple drinks would shift. "That's the bar, right?" he asked, pointing. "Come on, I'll buy the first round." Anything so he wasn't hearing things from her that made him feel strange and uncomfortable. What was the deal?
Kai ducked her head into the room, blinking. “Oh wow,” she said. “It's beautiful in here!” she exclaimed, her photographer's eye already picking out a million angles she would want. She walked in further, smiling a little as she tried to look at everything at once.
Ronin walked in behind her and watched her react with a grin. He absolutely loved being there when her artistic sense was suddenly piqued. He tried not to equate it with something sexual but failed. And definitely kept it to himself. He followed her with his eyes and then sidled up to the bar. He needed something. He looked to the bartender and asked for an obscure IPA. Just to see what he could get. And it was provided. Nice. "I think this place is well equipped. You should come order," he said noncommittally as he sipped.
Kai had trouble tearing herself away from her looking around, but found a way to get it done. She walked back over to Ronin, and took up the stool next to him, smiling at the bartender and ordering a drink. She got a Vodka Cranberry, and turned toward him. “Can you imagine playing someplace like this?” she asked. “I request an acoustic set sometime!”
Kai seemed to encourage that feeling that this place was going to be somewhere he was a long time. He was definitely resigned to it now. "I have my travel guitar and tracks on my laptop - I think. I haven't been able to test them. But okay. For you," he said indulgently. He slid an arm around her middle.
Kai grinned at that and got closer, putting her arms around him too. She gave him a hug, drawing in a breath and letting it out slowly. She was still trying to figure all of this out. She suspected she wasn't actually doing it super well, but what else could she do? “Thanks, I appreciate your acquiescence to my request,” she said loftily.
He gave her a squeeze and kissed her cheek. "It's really good that you're here. It's so weird. I kind of … nope, I definitely need you." He looked over to her and downed half his drink. "Well, of course," he said and chuckled as though there would never be a question of him doing so. There wouldn't. She was Kai. All he wanted was for her to be happy.
She needed him too. She couldn't even properly describe how much relief she felt at his presence. Insanity aside, she felt much more capable of dealing with this mess with him around. Plus she knew she wouldn't get dragged down into depression or the like. He could definitely bring her up out of the darkness. “You aren't alone there,” she told him. “Now, let's drink to...something. I don't know. Wait! I do,” she said, then cleared her throat, holding her glass up. “To the universe, doing us a favor.”
Ronin gave her a confused yet amused look at her toast. "To the universe, doing us a favor," he said though and clinked his glass against hers. Then he took several gulps and set the empty glass on the counter. "So uh, what favor did it do for us?" he asked after ordering a double whiskey neat.
She laughed. “I stopped at a hotel in the middle of a trip, and got eaten by a hotel. And here you are, the one person in the world I would need present to actually get through this. You were out there, and might have lost your Kai, so the universe fixed that. I'm determined to see the bright, shiny side here, by the way.”
Well when she put it like that. He laughed pleasantly and nodded. "Okay, you win that one. It did us the favor of at least bringing us together even if it fucked us over in the presentation." Which was just the fact they couldn't leave. And, well, maybe the fact that Mai was also here. He wasn't looking forward to facing her disdain. "You poor thing though. Stuck with me indefinitely," he teased.
Kai flicked his shoulder. “Oh shut up!” she said. “You know I don't get tired of you. You'll be getting tired of me though, I'll be having you posing all over this place, taking forty billion pictures.” She had too many plans for pictures here. The environment was just too rich with beauty not to take advantage of.
Ronin thought about that a minute. Remembering the times he'd been required to pose for billions of pictures in the past. All he'd had to do was look at her the entire time. Not exactly a punishment. "Alright then. Do you want me to start now? I can do this," he said and held up his newly poured glass of whiskey as though he were a pirate or Captain Morgan or something.
Kai lit up. “Ooh, would you?” she asked, excited by that possibility. “Yes pleeease,” she said, dragging out the word. She drank at least half her glass, and hopped down from the stool, half using him to steady herself.
Ronin's eyes widened, his brows raising as she hopped down, steadying herself on him. There was something intimate there that didn't escape him. He shook it off somewhat. "Have at. Tell me what you want. I think I have about a half hour of tolerance in me." He grinned and finished his whiskey, preparing to do whatever she needed him to.
Walking over toward the stage, Kai took another drink from her glass, eyeing the room and it's lighting. In the end, she liked that it was dimly lit, especially when she spied a portable stage light. Perfect. She hopped down into the orchestra pit, and looked up at him. “C'mon,” she invited, crooking her finger in his direction.
Ronin, sufficiently buzzed, slid from his stool and went where beckoned. Though he found her finger, her words, the situation, a bit suggestive. It had to be in his own mind, right? He shook his head and found her in the orchestra pit. "Where do you want me, Picasso?"
She grinned. “Down here, go sit with the big kettledrums, for they seem awesome,” she told him. She grabbed the light, flicking it on. The light buzzed a second, looked like it wasn't going to work, then finally decided it was going to. She shifted it around to not directly light the space she indicated, but nearly. It would create nice shadows.
Ronin went were asked, sitting with the kettledrums. He settled in and then he looked at her. It had been a thing in the past to look wantingly. Get the fangirls feeling adored or something. His eyes penetrated purposefully. There was real desire in them when he posed.
Kai loved that at this point, he knew what to do. She snapped pictures, changing her position, slowly getting closer as she did so. Eventually, she was right above him, standing on a chair to get the shot. “Gotta say, shadows do awesome things to your cheekbones,” she admitted. “These are gonna be gorgeous!”
Ronin didn't miss the fact that she thought he was acting his way through the whole thing. He stopped the desirous look and replaced it with amused affection. It was all he could muster then though he wasn't sure why. Shadows on his cheekbones weren't really a priority for him. He almost rolled his eyes but he finished the shoot with a hand up chest level. "I hope you got it all."
“I did. You smoldered. It was beautiful,” she shared. It had been. When he looked at her camera like that, sometimes she felt little butterflies in her stomach. She didn't mention it because hi! Awkward! But that didn't mean it didn't happen. Something in those eyes, though...it was no wonder he had so many fangirls. She got down on her knees on the chair, reaching over the back of it to help him up if he wanted it – an utterly unnecessary move, but one she did anyhow.
Ronin lifted a brow almost skeptically. "Beautiful? Come on, Kai. This is me you're talking to." What he really wanted to ask is what the hell was on her camera lens that had her taking photo after photo and thinking it was going to get any kind of fan response. He was just him. And he wasn't even famous. Still he had a hard time not buying into her optimism. He took her help and then pushed his face toward hers. He looked her right in the eyes, close enough their noses could have touched. "Work your magic," he said and then grinned, peeling away toward the stool he'd been at up to the bar.
It was dumb, but she completely got wrapped up in the moment when he got in close there. If there was magic being worked, she was thinking it was on his end. She was left blinking, looking after him as she got herself together. Quit being an idiot! she snapped at herself internally. She downed the last of her drink though before she hurried along in his wake.
Ronin watched Kai curiously from his stool beside the bar. He'd seen her but he hadn't really understood her reaction. He still wasn't sure what was happening but he blamed the alcohol at this point. Ronin looked at Kai and instinctively his hand reached to touch her cheek. "You okay, little willow?"
Oh sure, now he was going to get all sweet and touch her face and stuff? Dammit. “I'm fine,” she promised. Just wrapped up in the hotness of you for a sec... “Just need another drinky!” she said brightly, rattling the ice in her empty glass.
He grinned, glad she was good. He rattled the nothing in his glass and found whiskey in return. He watched as her glass was filled too. "What do we toast to now?" he asked even though something ached but he didn't know what or understand why.
“No clue. That's on you, I already came up with one. So, hit me with it. What are we toasting to?” she asked, arching a brow at him. She smirked, humor in her eyes as she watched him. She was dying to find out what he would come up with.
Right. Of course. He looked at her for a long moment. "We toast to the perfect relationship," he finally said. It sounded right and then he added after a moment, "She gets a guy who can protect her through a horror movie. And he? He's not sure but he still wants to try.”
Kai smiled, a soft expression. Holding up her glass, she clinked it with his. “To the perfect relationship,” she said. “He gets a girl who's the perfect personal cheerleader,'” she tacked onto the end of his statement, adding her own thought there.
Ronin wasn’t sure where it had come from but it resonated with him, that toast. Especially when she added on her bit. “Oh good one. I think all guys need that,” he said. He added more to it himself then because it was fun to imagine this perfect couple and their relationship. “She gets a guy who makes her weak in the knees without even trying. Girls like that, right?” he asked with a chuckle.
Kai laughed. “Yes,” she said. “Girls like that. See, guys do this thing? This...effortlessly hot thing. Where they're just doing normal stuff, like man work, or leaning on things, or just being present, and sometimes, it's just hot.”
He liked hearing her laugh and grinned as she explained. “Really? So I could just be sitting here minding my own business and be hot. And never know it. Huh. And you say leaning on things works?” He sipped his drink and laughed lightly, shaking his head. “Does that only work in the beginning though? Or does it still work after the relationship’s been going on a while? Or vice versa?”
“You could just be sitting here minding your own business, and hitting girl's buttons hard, just doin your thing. Though you have another advantage too – you're a singer. You fucking rock and roll, and talent? Is fucking sexy. Like Trent Reznor? Not actually that hot a dude. But I would not turn that guy down if he was all 'Kai? You. Me. Roadhead. Let's go.'” she said. “And it's a random thing. It doesn't matter how long you've known someone or been in a relationship with them. Just randomly you get hit with day-um give me some of that.”
Ronin shot her a look and drank more from his glass. “Roadhead with Trent Reznor, huh? That’s your kind of thing?” he asked though mostly it was rhetorical. “If I ever meet him I’ll have to let him know,” he deadpanned and finished his drink. “Maybe you can order him from room service.” He wasn’t sure why he was annoyed but he was. He nodded. “Yeah that makes sense. I know I’ve randomly gotten hit with that myself. I mean, other than the obviously things that catch a dude’s eye right off the bat.”
“I wouldn't say it's my thing per se, just that I wouldn't turn it down,” she corrected, teasing. Though it was a second before she realized he didn't sound like he was teasing. “...you realize that I'm never going to do that, right?” she asked. “And really? I sort of feel a lot like the only thing guys ever actually notice is how much of the girls I have showing.”
Ronin realized he was annoyed because he really didn’t want the mental image of her giving head to someone in his mind. It was stewing now and he felt grumpy so he shrugged. “You can do whatever you want to do. I’m not your dad.” He frowned even more, glancing uncharacteristically at her chest then back to her face. “That’s probably, literally the stupidest reason to notice you for. You don’t want guys like that, Kai. You want someone who recognizes your talent and amazing eye for photography, your brand of slightly sadistic humor, likes the fact you can say, ‘Fuck you, buddy,’ in like a thousand languages and that you’ll say it to him if you have to, and can pick you out of a room blindfolded simply because he knows how your hair smells. That? That’s what you deserve.” He was holding his glass up with one finger pointed at her and when he finished he set it on the bar.
“I'm definitely aware of my parentage, and you aren't there. I just...I don't know. You sound pissy,” she commented. She opened her mouth to say more, but her voice died as he put all that out on the table. She was left blinking at him, eyes a little wide. “All that, huh?” she asked. “Isn't that a tall order,” for anyone that isn't you? You know what my hair smells like, don't you? Or maybe you don't, and I just kind of wish you did. God, I suck lately. I think the idea of losing you for like, even ten seconds really hit me hard. went through her mind, but she didn't say it. Instead, she very abruptly hugged him tight.
Ronin was pissy and he was holding onto it for whatever reason. It wasn’t like him to keep that sort of emotion going for any length of time but he couldn’t seem to shake it. He didn’t answer her on that but he did respond when she asked if it was a tall order. “No, there’s gotta be someone out there like that. Maybe he’s a unicorn but…” He stopped and it was between those words and her sudden hug that he realized what he’d just done. He felt a little wide-eyed and strange about the fact he’d just described himself as what she deserved and worked very hard not to show it when he sat back from her hug. “What was that for?” he grumped to cover.
“Sorry,” she said, stepping back a little awkwardly. “I just...” she was quiet a second, then drew in a breath and let it out. “I'm trying real hard to be fine, and deal with this and all that shit, but when I realized we couldn't leave today, I thought about you. And how I might not be able to see you again. I mean, I also thought that you'd notice in about four seconds I was missing, if you tried to call and couldn't get ahold of me and you'd alert everyone from the local sheriff to the FBI, but still. I just...I don't know. Sorry.”
He felt like shit for making her feel bad about hugging him and his face immediately softened, the tension in his shoulders relaxing. It was too hard to stay annoyed with her when he felt other things more. Things he’d thought he’d put to rest a while ago. He reached out to touch her forearm and nodded. “That’s exactly what I would have done. If I hadn’t been here myself. When I realized I couldn’t leave and I couldn’t get in touch with you, I hoped you’d think I was fine and not worry too much. Just off somewhere sleeping it off after drunk texting you at 3am.” He gave a small chuckle at that.
“You nuts? I would have freaked out if I didn't really hear from you in a few days.” That was true. They talked all the time. They texted a lot. He also would have a band looking for him. “Hey, at least you've got a band that should be freaking out wondering where you are too...” she added. “So, someone'll be looking for you.” She reached up to lightly touch his hand where he was touching her. She didn't mind the contact at all. Jesus, maybe Mai was right about things.
“Oh, no. I just meant at first. Like you wouldn’t have to panic right away.” He frowned slightly, not sure what he really meant other than he didn’t like to think she’d have had to go through that. But they did talk all the time. Toss each other texts off and on all day long most days. And he knew that if she hadn’t come to sit on him in the morning he would definitely have gone into search mode. “Whatever is going on, I’m glad we’re both here. If I lost you…” He shook his head and looked away from her. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t know how to function without Kai. He’d felt the edge of that in the elevator with Syd. He had the distinct desire to put his head on her shoulder and be close, get the tangible reassurance that she was, in fact, there. Her touch to his hand was good and he looked back at her, rubbing his thumb against her arm in gentle circles. “Yeah, the band will be looking and if they can’t contact you to find out where I am, they’ll look for you too.”
She watched him look away, and wanted to hug him again. His soft little touch though, that was very, very grounding. She recognized, however, just how much they relied on each other. Both of them looked about ready to fall apart at the thought of not having the other there. It made her smile, just a touch. “We make quite the pair, huh.”
Ronin nodded. “We do, don’t we?” he said quietly, thoughtfully. Especially if she was feeling the same way. That she wouldn’t know how to function without him. He half doubted that. She was so strong and feisty and she kept him on his feet. Literally kept him alive sometimes. All he did was take up space on her couch, eat her out of food, and make her laugh now and then, right? “I’m sorry I was a grump,” he said and gave her a proper hug.
She hugged him back, feeling some weird tension in her ease. She didn't like it when he got pissy with her, especially when she didn't know why it happened. “It's okay,” she told him. “What did I do, anyway? So I can not do it again. I'm pretty sure this situation isn't going to clear up tomorrow, and if it doesn't, I don't want to make you mad again. Y'know, not that we wouldn't make up, or anything, but still. Let’s avoid me doing stupid things!”
Ronin shook his head. He still wasn’t sure exactly what it was about what she’d said that had pissed him off. Maybe it was that it had felt like she’d just toss herself away and she was too special for that. And maybe he felt a little possessive too for whatever reason. He could feel his mood darkening again and he tried to push out of it. Still, his voice a slightly hard edge as he said, “Can you just not re-create the idea of you arbitrarily giving some random guy head?”
“He wasn't random—” she started, but broke off. “Yes, I can do that,” she corrected herself. Then she pulled back to narrow her eyes at him, a playful cast to her expression. “Have you had a run in with a witch? Is she plaguing your mind with bad juju?” She paused, then untied a leather bracelet from her wrist, with smoothed turquoise beaded into it. She tied it around his wrist instead. “There. To protect you.”
He frowned at her protest. “Thanks,” he said. He looked back at her, not feeling playful though he knew he should have followed her right into that mood. “No. Maybe it’s this place.” Maybe it’s that I don’t like hearing you talk about being with someone else. Maybe I’m just an asshole. He let her tie the bracelet to his wrist and looked at it. “Well, at least it’s not girly,” he half joked, trying again to push out of his bad mood.
She could tell he wasn't with her back into non-pissyness. “Yeah, it isn't girly,” she agreed, still thinking about what Mai had to say, and how she felt, and what this was about. “Ro, can I do something? Do you want to head back to your room? Anything? You just seem really...” she trailed off, looking a bit helpless.
Ronin almost said something and it was there on his face that he was about to spill. He almost told her all of it but he bit the insides of his cheeks, biting it back. He knew she wouldn’t laugh at him or make him feel stupid. But she might think differently about the things she said and did with him. It could shift the entire dynamic of their relationship and he couldn’t bear that. “I don’t know what my problem is,” he lied. “Can I stay with you tonight? Sleep on your couch or something? Not sure I’m up for random girls appearing in my room tonight.”
“Of course! Though I don't have a couch. Just a chair that you are not sleeping in,” she insisted. “So, we're bedbuddies,” which she was possibly slightly too quick to put out there and insist on. Because now that he'd asked the question, that was all she wanted to do. Get back to her room, and snuggle up with him. Her motivations for that were a bit all over the map, but...oh well. It was what she wanted and she just wasn't going to search for answers in her own head tonight.
Ronin flinched mentally when she said bedbuddies. That there was no couch and he was going to be in bed with her was not a good idea right now. How could he say no without raising more red flags than he already had? “Okay, probably a good idea for my back too to be in a bed. The furniture in this place looks ancient and might mangle me. And if a serial killer appears in my room they’ll be very disappointed to find me gone.” He slid from the stool and all of a sudden the alcohol he’d had hit him. He laughed and tried to look at her but his eyes wouldn’t focus. “Wow.”
“No serial killer talk!” Kai insisted. “I'm weirded out enough as it is. I'm going to be glad you're in my room with me,” she told him, being honest there. She blinked, then smirked, sliding her arm around his middle to steady him. “You, sir,” she told him affectionately. “Are drunk.”
“Good, good. I’ll protect you from men with big knives.” Could he protect her from himself though, that was the question. He needed to, that was for damn sure. “No, not totally drunk. I can still speak. See? Not slurring my words. It all just hit me at once. Good stuff.” He slid an arm around her and gave her a sideways squeeze. He was okay to walk though he sort of wandered as he started toward the elevators. That might have been because he was looking at her from the corner of his eyes though.
She smiled and wandered with him, just keeping him from careening into walls. “I'm sure you'll protect me,” she said. “You always have.” Which was truer than most people would think. He'd most certainly saved her when it really counted, and her life could have taken an entirely different track had he not been there, or not stepped up. But he did, without a moment's hesitation.
Ronin pushed the button for the elevator, amused at how she had drifted along with him instead of trying to direct him. He felt all of the negativity he’d been experiencing before drain as he stepped into the car. She was close and they were both safe. “As long as we’re together, nothing can happen that we can’t handle,” he said matter-of-factly. He looked over at her and smiled once he wasn’t trying to walk. “Also, you’re very pretty. They should notice that too,” he randomly added to the conversation they’d been having a while ago.
“Exactly.” Kai confirmed, feeling like that was true. Even if she was nervous about what was going on, they'd figure it out. All she might have to do is dodge Mai's incessant insistence that she and Ronin hook up. Though once the elevator doors closed, and he told her she was very pretty, she blushed darkly, mind going to wildly inappropriate places. Like how elevators could be sexy, and if he just pushed her up against the wall, it would be pretty damn nice. “I—thank you,” she said, trying to will the color from her cheeks.
Well that was definitely different. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d gotten her to blush before in the past. “What is that? Wait now, you don’t know it? That’s impossible,” he insisted, turning his body more to look at her though he didn’t break away from the arm she had around him. His expression was incredulous. She was gorgeous. He’d always thought so and he knew other girls were seriously intimidated by it. It was part of why he hardly ever kept a girlfriend long. Other than the fact they never quite seemed to be important enough in his mind. He’d always choose Kai over any of them and most girls couldn’t handle it.
His noticing that was only making her blush more, and she reached up to cover her face with her free hand. “I know! I mean, I know I'm not an ugly duckling or anything, I'm pretty! Just...y'know, you don't come out with that at random, that's all, and maybe it means more coming from you,” she said, wondering if that would just make it worse.
It was definitely random but in his mind it had been a natural continuation of that conversation now that he wasn’t grumpy. Though he was a little more confused than incredulous after her explanation. “Why would it mean more coming from me? I’m like your brother or something, right?” he asked though he sort of hoped she would reject that idea entirely.
Noooooo. That was her response to the idea that he was like a brother. “No,” she answered aloud, because she really didn't like the idea of him thinking he was. “You're my best friend and your opinion means the world to me,” she explained. Which was true, of course, she just edited out the part where she wanted him to think she was pretty. How it gave her a little bit of butterflies in her stomach like she was a damn thirteen year old. “So, y'know, random dude at the bar walks up and tells me I'm pretty, my first thought is 'you want in my pants'. You tell me I'm pretty, and I think you're having a moment where you notice I am, or...something?” She laughed at herself. “Maybe I'm tipsy too, I don't think I'm making a ton of sense.”
She was making perfect sense. He nodded. “Ohh, no, I see what you mean but, Kai? I’m not just now noticing. I’ve always thought so,” he admitted. “It’s why I’m always like not understanding why you don’t have a boyfriend or go home with guys who hit on you at my gigs.” Not that he wanted her to. Hell no. The elevator deposited them to her floor and he kind of felt like the time in an enclosed space with her wasn’t long enough.
Mai's words echoed back in her brain. 'You haven’t found the right guy? You have. He’s the guy that comes to see you after his shows or takes you backstage. That’s your guy.' And her own thoughts about why she didn't have a boyfriend was there too. No one would measure up, no one would be as important as Ronin. What came out of her mouth was true, but also with a little bit of a laugh, definitely something that could be chalked up to her being tipsy. “Cuz I go home with the lead singer!” She still felt good though about his saying he'd always thought she was pretty. It made her feel good.
Ronin rolled his eyes at her. That wasn't a serious answer at all. Yeah she went home with the lead singer but she wasn't dating him. They weren't dating. That wasn't the same as having a boyfriend. He invaded her personal space in response, not really realizing he was doing it but he was closer than he needed to be to look her in the eyes. "Kai, am I holding you back? Like I know girls don't get our friendship and leave me and I'm actually fine with that almost all of the time. But is it happening to you too? I really don't want that."
The invasion of her space had her stomach doing a pleasant little flip. She smiled even as he spoke. “It is...” she admitted, shaking her head. “But I never care,” she told him, watching his eyes. “You're more important,” she shared. “You're not holding me back.” Then she paused, blinking. “Am I holding you back?”
"No, I'm holding me back," he said without really thinking about it. "I don't want to hold you back. What can I do?" he asked, needing to know if there was something about him, his lifestyle, sleeping on her couch, or whatever. Something kept her single and he didn't want to be the reason. Except he kind of did now. He looked into her eyes, not backing away. Searching for something though he wasn't sure what.
Did she just kiss him? That was where her mind went. Just grabbing him, and kissing him hard. Her insecurity she'd voiced to Mai earlier was in her mind though, just barely keeping her in check. “Why are you holding you back?” she asked, voice a little hushed due to their proximity.
Ronin almost answered her. Again his face registered that look like he was just on the verge of spilling something. Then the elevator doors opened. "Um," he said, the break in the flow of things giving him the time it took to kind of cover up some. Protect them from his stupidity for suddenly having feelings for her when they'd been so perfectly fine without that BS for years.
The distraction nearly made her groan, but they had arrived at her floor before, it seemed almost like the elevator doors only opened when it would do the most prominent distraction possible. She didn't overthink it, however, and instead headed out of the elevator with him, arm still around his middle. She knew she should say something, but she didn't know if she knew where to start.
Ronin wasn't sure where to go from there. He'd not answered her and then she'd gone silent. They were walking along to her room but suddenly that was awkward. They were close but not talking and that wasn't them. He looked over at her. "Kai," he started, coming to a stop before they'd reached her room.
She stopped with him, stomach sinking. “Yeah?” she asked, looking up at him. She bit her lower lip, not sure what he was going to say. It was making her super nervous, even if she recognized that that was probably silly. Her worst case scenario wouldn't ever happen, which would be him abruptly disowning her. That wasn't going to happen. Still, she was nervous.
Ronin almost shook his head and moved on but there was something he needed first. And maybe this place had made him insane or maybe he'd been going there a long while. It was entirely possible that he'd stopped understanding the meaning of platonic. He turned toward her with the idea of kissing her mouth but somehow managed to redirect at the last moment. He kissed her cheek. "Thank you for letting me come with you tonight."
For a second, her heart stopped then started to pound. She drew in a soft breath, eyes sliding shut as she was prepared to be kissed, stomach erupting into butterflies. But then, he kissed her cheek, and she realized she was an idiot. Thankfully, he said something that helped her recover, but she hugged him, pressing her cheek to his chest to give herself another few long seconds to do so. “Thanks for not making me spend the night alone in this screwed up place.”
Ronin had seen her. Her reaction to where he knew he'd almost gone. She'd prepared for it. Hadn't rejected it. He listened to her speak and he fell upon the door to her room. Looking at her. "Kai. Can you open the door? Can you just…"
She nodded, wondering if hugging him had been the wrong move or something, but either way she dug the key from her pocket, thinking she really probably should have thought something was up due to the actual keys as opposed to electronic things they used nowadays. Turning it in the lock, she let them into the room, helping him in as she felt for the light switch.
Ronin went in with her and then caught her hand before she found the light switch. The door closed and the pitch black around them was enough. Tentatively he kissed her cheek again. Then again, closer to where he figured her mouth was in the darkness. He expected to get kneed in the crotch but some part of him didn't care.
Oh god, she thought, breath catching in her throat. She exhaled slightly, turning her lips nearer to his. Unconsciously, her tongue slid across her bottom lip, and she drew in his scent. It was almost intoxicating, just those soft little brushes of his lips, the darkness around them, everything. Was this happening? Was it going to be okay?
Ronin could hear her. There was no ignoring any of this in his mind. The darkness made it seem more okay. Though he wasn't sure what propelled him into crossing the line. Not really. He just knew he wanted her now. That seemed to be that. Still, he didn't want to push hard or freak her out. She'd never expressed this kind of interest in him. He let the darkness mask him, his body pressing her gently to the wall inside the door as he kissed her again.
She loved every second of this. She loved how he pressed her against the wall, even if it wasn't a hard push. She loved that he was kissing her, even if he hadn't got to her lips. She found herself wanting to taste him, knowing it would be whiskey on his tongue. She turned her face more toward his again, finding herself reaching up to clasp his shirt in her hands, unconsciously pulling him just a tiny bit closer, and keeping him close.
Ronin took the opportunities given, the most gentle ones, and he found himself with his mouth against Kai's cheek. He gave up trying to hide then. He caught her mouth with his. It was so dark, so pure a feeling when his mouth met hers. "Kai," he murmured. This was a dream, right? He moved closer to her, so close.
Okay, so Mai was right. She didn't go home with guys from the bar or find herself new boyfriends because she had Ronin. Because she had her heart set in one place, and that was that. When he kissed her, she shuddered, feeling like she'd been waiting for that for years. For forever. “Do that again,” she breathed, pushing herself up on her toes to get closer.
Ronin's mind dimly gave off red flags. Hadn't he just a few minutes before decided that doing anything even close to this was going to irrevocably shift their relationship? All of it should have been louder in his mind, stopping him, but it was dulled by alcohol and something more raw underlying that may have resonated when he kissed her this time, his fingers cupping her face. But he pulled back again a moment later to whisper, “What are we doing?”
Her breath was uneven with that second kiss, and she almost voiced 'noooo!' when he pulled back and spoke. Her hands tightened on his shirt. “Giving in,” was her answer. It was out of her mouth before she could think it through, just a gut reaction, that immediate answer on the tip of her tongue.
Giving in. Yes, but to what? And what end? He was quiet a long moment trying to come to some conclusion. Keep going or stop altogether and ask her if they could pretend it never happened. "I don't want things to change," he said finally, his fingers still against her cheek. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to things to be strange or uncomfortable because I crossed the line. Because maybe she didn't feel the same, he couldn't see her expression. He was fighting the urge to leave suddenly and knew he was about to panic. He took a deep breath.
He wasn't the only one who was about to panic. Kai felt her heart pound for reasons that weren't all sexy. What did he mean, exactly? God, this was a nightmare. “I don't want things to change either, or -” she started. Well, she could handle some changes. Just not in a bad direction. A good one. Like them, maybe taking a stab at being together. But maybe that was what he didn't want. Maybe that was what he was saying. “What do you want?”
Fuck. If it wasn't dark he might not have had the nerve to say anything. Thank goodness for the dark, though he knew it made him a coward. "I don't know how you feel about this. I don't want this to be some drunk moment that means you feel weird around me from now on." His words came out rushed, all on top of each other because if he didn't just say it, it wasn't going to get said.
“I don't want that either, but with you regretting things in the morning...” she confessed. Yep! Total nightmare. She was feeling humiliated now, and like this was going to crash and burn and they'd be awkward, and have to work at getting things back on track. “How I feel about it...Ronin, I think I've been waiting for you to kiss me for years.”
The only way he'd regret it in the morning is if she was standoffish. Could he risk that? She'd have all night to think about it. To roll it around in her mind and decide that he wasn't reliable and maybe he was bad news as a boyfriend as evidenced by every other damn relationship he'd had. And that it wasn't worth trying to make a go of it with him on a different playing field. Would she walk away for good on him? "I…" he started and faltered. She'd been waiting years? He was going to let her down. He knew it. But then… she also knew him. She knew what he was like, who he was. This was Kai. If she wasn't okay she'd tell him. If she didn't want this she really would have kneed him in the groin a long time ago. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked so quietly, his tone sort of filled with awe.
Funny, Mai asked the same thing earlier... “I didn't want to make anything weird. I didn't know if you'd feel the same way, or...I didn't want to mess anything up, or lose you, or get rejected, or...” she trailed off. “I need you, Ro. You know that, don't you?” she asked, voice soft.
Ronin listened, nodding in the darkness even though she couldn't see it. And he felt relieved somehow. His thumb gently stroked her cheek. "Promise? That it's not going to be weird when we're stone cold sober and have had a whole night to think about it? Because I promise. I need you too, Kai." Desperately he needed her. He knew he'd be nothing if it weren't for her motivation. He'd sleep on couches, get high, and waste his life. He’d literally be dead without her.
Relief flooded through her, and she laughed a little, pushing herself up onto her toes to get closer to him. “I promise!” she said. “I've been having these little thoughts about you for a long time, and...yeah. Just...can you do something for me?”
Ronin felt her move, her fingers still tight around his shirt. He half smiled at the tone of her voice, the fact she laughed. That was good, right? She didn't sound like she was making fun of him. He nodded in the darkness at her question. "What can I do for you?" he asked, wondering suddenly if she wasn't messing with him or something.
“Kiss me again,” she said. “Because I really wasn't done with that.” She wanted all of that she could get. She'd been just allowing herself to believe it was happening when he'd pulled back. So, if he could just get back to that, she'd be a very happy bunny. It was all she could do not to grab him and kiss him like the world was ending.
Ronin's heart all but exploded. He was that completely in it with her. He nodded a third, unseen time. And then he kissed her. There was no filter. Nothing but what he felt for her in that kiss. It was like skydiving, free-falling into reality to kiss her like this.
With his jumping in there, she felt her stomach almost drop out as she returned it. She kissed him hard, like she was trying to breathe him in. She planted one foot back against the wall behind her, to brace herself as she used her grip on his shirt to pull him up against her. Sure, she wanted him to be the one who started the kissing thing again – that didn't mean she wasn't a confident girl who was happy to do her own thing as well.