Only Kai called him that. Only she compensated for his injury because only she really knew about it. Only her face had been the one he'd looked to when he'd been sure he was dying. Which settled it that only she could be in this moment with him. He settled in, even though the bed was ages old and not exactly comfortable. He found something and owned it and watched her. "I… Kai…" he murmured.
She untied his shoes so he could kick them off, before she crawled up the bed a little. She wanted to just wrap herself around him, and she did gently lie out beside him. “Yeah?” she asked, voice soft. She was smiling, though, as she snuggled to him, still feeling like she'd been struck by lightning in the best way possible.
Ronin closed his eyes and smiled some before opening them again. She was there beside him but it wasn't something big. She was snuggling and he wanted that. He wanted her close. He kissed the top of her head. "This," he said. "You're sure?" he asked, knowing she'd already confirmed but for some reason just needing to know once more.
She grinned. He was clearly going through the same thing that she was. That 'holy shit, this is for real!' thing. “Yeah, Ronin, I'm sure. Hell, even Mai today...she just said all this shit, and I think she was right. Don't tell her I said that! But...I really think she was. She said I didn't have a boyfriend, because I have you. No one would ever measure up to you. Hell, I don't want anyone to measure up to you. I was never even really looking.”
Ronin listened to her and froze. What she was saying was a lot more than what he'd thought or felt. No. More than he'd admitted to himself about her. "No… No, Kai, I can't be the reason." He stopped though. He shook his head. "Was I? Really?" What did he even say to her not wanting anyone to measure up to him? "I can't even… Kai."
She felt him tense, and immediately wanted to take it all back, even if she couldn't. “Y-yeah? I think so. Not consciously, but I guess when I really take a look at it, from this angle...” she trailed off, biting her lip. “Is that messed up of me?” she asked, terrified that she really screwed things up.
"No," he whispered. "It's not your fault. I'm an asshole. I monopolize you. I… no you can't pause or linger or anything over me. Please don't. You're too special. Too amazing." Which was an outpouring finally of how much he felt unworthy of even her friendship let alone anything else. He wanted her so badly. He needed her and he knew it. But he didn't want to trap her with him.
Kai frowned, then sat up, looking down at him in the dark. She could by now just barely make out where he was, the vaguest catches of light on his frame. “You aren't an asshole, and you don't monopolize my time – I'm a big girl, and make my very own decisions and everything. I choose to spend all my time with you. I'm here, because I want to be here. Because I find you special and amazing too,” she said. “I always have. If what you're saying is this can't be a...” she made a vague gesture, not sure how to word it. She felt like 'relationship' didn't cover it because they already had one. “...a...you know what I mean! If you don't want that, I understand, but tell me now, kay?”