KWIT News Announcement: For the Departed
A gorgeous bald man stood before a weather map, but there was no smile on his face. In fact, he looked sad with a hint of angry. His clothes looked as if he'd been fought to get in them, a button off, his tie askew. He just stared at the ground before glaring petulantly up at the screen.
"The sun will come out tomorrow." He looked to the side as if someone were talking to him, and he sighed, rolling his eyes. Glaring once more into the camera. "It will come out like clockwork from now on..." His head dipped, and there was a little smile on his lips as he mumbled. "Until it doesn't."
"Uh." A male voice off camera, one that hadn't been heard since the last big City announcement tried to claim attention. "Yes, thank you, Windy. Yes, it seems that five souls have been tasked to mend the City. They are great souls."
"What the hell! One doesn't even have a so--" Windy would have yelled more, but he was quickly stopped. A rather unprofessional yet curious camera man gave a brief yet telling glance at just what was happening to the slightly mercurial weatherman: he was being held down by a couple of burly grips, probably, who knew that the man was a little...under the weather. He wasn't taking the 'right as rain' attitude about having sunny days again.
"Well, whether they have souls, webbed fingers, or godlike powers, we at KWIT City News applaud and appreciate their sacrifice. Let us all take a moment of silence for - in no particular order - Jesse Custer, Jennifer Government, Hannibal Lecter, Eric Northman, and Annie Wagner." Frank's smile held a sense of sadness that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Yes, it is unfortunate; they were all rather attractive, weren't they?" Candy finally chimed in. "So very pretty."
"They aren't dead! Get off--" Windy grunted; the grips holding him down realized they were on camera and let him go to speak. "Get off me! I'm fine. They're not dead. Fuck, people. Get it right, and who cares if they looked like Jabba the Marshmallow Man! The City's back to normal. Just say it! Say it! Say i--" Once more Windy was restrained, and the camera went back to Candy and Frank.
"Well, yes, of course. Now, Candy, didn't we have a wonderful recipe for butternut squash souffle we were going to share?" Frank turned his usual smile to Candy, who was giving him her usual vapid one in response.
"Yes, yes, we do! Let's go over to..."
With that the screens were once more taken over by ants, and then returned to whatever they'd been on before.