Title: Stuck On You
Author: Lady B
Pairing: Harry+Draco, Snape
Challenge: LJ's HPFanfic10x10 table prompt – practical
Rating: NC17
Summary: It was practically a given that when you introduce certain aspects of nature, with certain human aspects, chaos will ensue.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and plots from the Harry Potterverse belong to JK Rowling and various publishing companies and movie studios. I am not making any money from this. I am simply doing this for the fun of it. Any plot devices and original characters belong to me alone and are simply a figment of my imagination.

- - -

"Ow!"

"Stop moving!"

"Well it fucking hurts! What else am I supposed to do?"

"Potter, you are such a baby."

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

"Are you calling me an arsehole?"

"Among other things." was the mumbled response.

"I heard that, Malfoy! Just fucking pull it out already!"

"..."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"..."

"Malfoy!"

"Potter, I can't."

"Can't what?" was asked in a dangerous tone.

"It's...stuck."

The shrieked "What!" echoed throughout the Forbidden Forest, scaring birds from their roosts.

"What the bloody hell do mean it's stuck? How can it be stuck?"

"It stuck! I can't pull it out!"

"Oh Gods, I'm going to fucking kill you!"

"What is that infernal racket, and why, Mr Potter, are you bare-arsed in the middle of the Quidditch field in full view of Hogwarts?" came a voice neither one expected to hear.

"I revise my earlier statement. Just kill me now." came the embarrassed half naked boy in the grass.

"Well?"

"It was my fault, Professor. I dared Potter to run naked along the edge of the forest...and...well...you can see what happened."

"Hmm."

"Just put your wand to my head and AK me now." came the repeated plea, the body of the tormented bright red from embarrassment

"Oh don't be so melodramatic, Potter. You're not the first idiot to have a porcupine quill stuck in his arse. Accio!"

Said quill came loose with an audible popping sound and the Gryffindor "ahh'd" with relief.

"Thank you, sir."

"You're welcome, Potter. I suggest you get dressed. It's almost supper."

"Yes, sir."

Footsteps moved away as Harry moved toward his pants. A hand on his arse stopped him.

"No sense letting this view go to waste, eh, Potter?" Draco grinned.

"If you get stuck, it'll take more than an Accio to get you free, I'm sure." Harry snorted. Draco leaned over Harry's back, pushing his burgeoning erection into the cleft of Harry's arse.

"If I get stuck, I'll make sure you enjoy the experience." Draco breathed in Harry's ear.

"..."


They never did make it to supper.



-Fin