(ง'̀-'́)ง (future_dust) wrote in zenithrp, @ 2016-08-16 20:15:00 |
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Entry tags: | #day 045, juno, lennon |
Who: Juno and Lennon
Where: Lennon's room
When: Around an hour after this
Right after announcing her departure Juno abandoned the scene of this morning's drama as fast - yet also as demoralized - as possible. She walked quite like an automaton, with no specific destination in mind, no real thoughts other than repetition of chunks of the things that had been said; by her, by Marco, by everyone else. It wasn't about her, she knew that; but dammit, it hurt like it was. She ended up in the patio sitting against the wall for a while, pulling the hood over her head to shield herself from the rain. If she had been a little less depressed Juno would have admonished herself for how pathetically cliched she looked, but as she felt right now she couldn't care less. It was only almost an hour later that she got tired, when she could no longer bear being alone with the things Marco had said, and his face as he said them, as well as old pain the note had stirred up. Juno felt worthless, less than zero, as if the other shoe had dropped and the little shitty voice inside her head didn't lose any time in letting her know. 'See? You're not special to anyone.'
She arrived at Lennon's new door on the fourth floor with a bit of surprise, as if her own feet hadn't told her brain where they were planning on going. Or vice-versa; she wasn't sure how that all worked out. She felt a little like a glutton for punishment; while not exactly expecting Lennon to kick her out and tell her she was a traitor somehow Juno expected him to reject her in some sort of way. It occurred to her she always expected that from everyone, even if she didn't really think actively about it. All the same Juno knocked on his door and when he opened her voice trembled, as did her chin, but Juno still tried to keep from crying. She'd done that enough. Without looking up at his face, keeping her eyes level with Lennon's chest, Juno explained:
"I just had a really, really, terrible, awful, disastrous, fucked up early morning and I need you to please help me but I don't wanna talk about it I just don't wanna feel cold and I feel like I'm freezing but it's not a fever or the weather. It's like...inside. I'm freezing. Okay?"