The Universe's Mixer

Jack looked up at the building.

Paint covered his hands, his face, his clothes. And the side of the building. Of course, it had taken him all night to do it. And as soon as the sun came up, they'd be looking for him. But it was going to be so worth it.

The idea had come at him when he'd remembered drawing a penis on the side of the vampire's face so many months ago. If that was funny, then this was going to be a serious laugh riot.

He backed up so that he could see his work better.

There was a big yellow penis painted on the side of WayneTech now.

It was really just going to be glorious. It was.

One big glorious fancy room, filled with flowers and sparkling chandeliers. A big buffet table filled with so much food it looked as if the table would crack, spilling everything everywhere. The long bar ran the entirety of one wall, and looked as if it had pretty much everything anybody could possibly ever want set up against a mirror.

It was clear that the City expected a fairly big turn out.

All the tables had note cards on them, and each note card sat in front of a chair. Each had writing scrawled on it, but only one word "Jack". No designation of which Jack should sit where.

( OOC )

It was one of those days.

Every day was starting to feel like one of those days to Jack. Nothing exciting happened in the City anymore. Batman was not gone, but he was all kinds of broody about his super butt boy being a statue. Jack had thought that leaving the statue out would have created some kind of ruckus. It had caused nothing. Absolutely nothing. No newspaper stories. No cops everywhere. Nobody had even come by the asylum to demand he account for his horrible deeds.

Life was just not worth doing anything but staring at the television when there was no real opposition. Nothing to fight for. Nobody to annoy. He was going to have to find somebody to replace Barbara, as well. As she was gone. He knew she was gone. He'd stalked her like nobody had ever stalked another living being before in the history of stalking. Or life. And she had vanished. No more going to work. No more clocktower. No more anything.

So a replacement was in order.

But who?

Who could fill the hole that the redhead had made when she'd fallen out of his life? Who could he destroy as thoroughly as he had done to her? Sure, it gave him fresh clay to work with, but he'd put so much into her, given such a large portion of life to her. She was a work of art. He could trigger her so very easily. The give and take had become easy.

He also had to replace his minions and partners in crime. All of them had vanished too. The fuckers. Left him with an empty asylum and henchmen who were so bored they were getting fat.

Finding new cohorts would be easier than replacing Babsy, he finally decided. So that's what he would do. Jack put on his best black pants, best white shirt, and best suspenders. Plus a fedora, complete with feather. Had to. Couldn't help it. Then he sauntered right out of the asylum and into the streets of the City, looking for somebody to be evil with.

Nobody was around anymore. Lex had vanished. House had vanished. Jack had almost gone to the police to file reports on them like the newspaper said to do, but decided that it would be a really not good idea for him to waltz into the police station just willy nilly like that.

He was, after all, a wanted man.

But this stupid statue of the stupid Boy in Blue was completely worthless to him without the doctor there. And without Lex there, he didn't know what to do with it. He'd drawn a mustache on it after a week, then a goatee. Then he'd put a bowler on it. And then fashioned a cape out of a shower curtain.

All of this, though, got dull. Got boring. There was no fun in not having anybody to laugh at things with. His asylum was empty. He had no cohorts. He had no accomplices. He didn't even have any inmates. They were all dead. His henchmen were getting bored with life and spent more time off doing their own thing, like getting drunk. His supply of mouthwash and cigars was running painfully low.

With no heroes in the City, it had gotten really really boring.

Everything was boring.

That's what led Jack to finding a moving dollie and maneuvering the statue onto it. It's what had him strolling down the street, whistling to himself. It's what caused him to dump the stupid statue - decorations and all - onto the steps of some shop in the middle of town.

Now it was somebody else's problem.

Shame he hadn't been able to get a sample of that blood though. Maybe he'd find another way to do it. He had plans that he wanted to see through. He knew, of course, that letting somebody find this thing and take off with it wasn't the best way to go about those plans, but he was so very lonely.

Jack dragged the dollie behind him as he strolled back to the asylum. Maybe this would kick up some excitement in this stupid city.

There was chaos everywhere! The city was quite literally torn apart. People were scared, screaming, running in circles, chasing their tails. Jack only wished that he'd had something to do with it.

On top of that, he had Superman. He had the Boy in Blue.

His.

All his.

His his his his his.

Now all he had to do was figure out just what he was going to do with the man. There was still no sign of Lex anywhere. Still no sign of anything, really. Things were changing, people vanishing.

Delightful.

Jack looked out the window of Arkham Asylum, his elbow resting on the shoulder of the Superstatue.

Who:Jack and Helena
What: False rescue and regret
Note: Finished with the permission of Helena's mun. Violence.

( Goodie gumdrops )