The Universe's Mixer

This was probably the strangest thing that had ever happened to Jack McFarland in the history of... ever. One minute, New York City and the next... wherever the hell he was. He had left his mansion (his, he earned it fair and square by spending some of Beverly's inheritance), left Karen and Rosario, only to do a little hottie hunting when the worst of all things happened.

Lesbians. Kissing.

As in all over each other. Hands on boobies and tongues and...

Jack immediately stopped his moment of remembrance to choke back a retch. Gross... lesbians. He hated them, despised them. If God had wanted women to have sex, he would have given them penises.

He had taken a wrong turn away from the disgusting duo, down and alley and suddenly... no mansion. No Karen, no Rosario and no way home. What in gay hell had just happened to him? At least he was able to get what he needed: an apartment, clothes, food, decor that didn't belong in the dumpster behind K-mart. While the idea of maybe not seeing Karen again was depressing, that wasn't going to keep Jack down for long. There was a certain freedom to being all alone in an apartment again. Not nearly as fabulous as the mansion (tshaw, like it could ever be), but it was his.

Which of course meant that the stereo was on as loud as it would go and Cher was on constant repeat.

"No matter how hard I try... You keep pushing me aside and I cant break through... Theres no talking to you"

He danced, he sang, he did a somersault on his couch landing perfectly on his feet in the center of the living room and above all else - he had a turkey baster for a microphone. Jack didn't know a turkey baster was, but it looked like it was used for inseminating lesbians. Again, gross... but it was a great microphone and he needed on.

"Its so sad that you're leaving, It takes time to believe it. But after all said and done, you're gonna be the lonely one, ohhh.. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER LOVE.."

As the last snip faded into the relative silence of her tiny apartment, Alice smiled at herself into the mirror. Granted, it had been rather a rash decision, and she didn't know how she would explain it to her parents when she went home (if she ever went home, but Alice didn't think like that) but for now, she felt as though it was the right thing to do.

Gone were the long, flowing blonde tresses, strands of hair all different lengths lying on the floor around Alice's feet. The effect, though, hadn't been too terrible. She tossed her new, shoulder-length hair and grinned at herself in the mirror. It just fit, with the odd new clothes that she was getting used to, with the City, with freedom. With being the Queen. She liked it. It was just the sort of change she needed.

Pulling on a sky-blue sweater over the white blouse and navy blue skirt she wore, Alice stuck her tongue out at her reflection and skipped down the stairs, out of her apartment and into the street. The City buzzed with a nervous sort of energy. She could feel it. It made her smile. Everything was the same, and yet, not. So with a new bounce in her step, Alice set off to discover what exactly made the City hum in that way.