InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'm about this fonging close"

Grant Ward is not a true believer (notanazi) wrote in wariscomingcom,
@ 2014-09-23 11:16:00

Entry tags:

baelfire/neal cassidy, bucky barnes/winter soldier, davina claire, grant ward, james rogers, jemma simmons, steve rogers/captain america, tony stark/iron man

Didn't expect to hear myself being debated when I was waiting for coffee.

This what I should expect for the next however many months?

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	notanazi 2014-09-23 10:56 am UTC (link)
	Opinionated's hardly the same as witty. More to the point I knew better than most how to deal with a place like that. And my opinion kept a few people willing to listen alive (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vagueambition 2014-09-23 10:58 am UTC (link)
	Not always. You did seem to. All the listening in the world wouldn't have done me much good. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notanazi 2014-09-23 11:00 am UTC (link)
	Not in this case. Says who? You assumed you were dead so you didn't even try to stick with someone that can help you. And I did try (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vagueambition 2014-09-23 11:02 am UTC (link)
	Says me, as it happens. I was not intending to burden anyone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notanazi 2014-09-23 11:06 am UTC (link)
	How is that any kind of a reaction? You have to fight that kind of weakness in you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vagueambition 2014-09-23 11:12 am UTC (link)
	Any kind of reaction to what? I didn't choose to die that many times. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

notanazi
2014-09-23 11:16 am UTC (link)

To what you faced?

You decided you weren't good enough. Decided there was no point to you and all you were is a burden. At that point you had a choice. You could try, and if by some miracle you lived, you could change your life. Learn how to surrvive if that happened again. Its not easy. Its never easy but whats the alternative, stay stuck, stay weak?

Since getting back here, have you thought about it, learning how to fight if something happens. I figure maybe you can fire a gun, do you think that's enough? Or did you learn that its far from it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vagueambition 2014-09-23 11:19 am UTC (link)
	Timing determined I had little choice in that. I can, and no, I don't hold any illusions that it's enough. And I'll do what I have to do. But my focus has been unavoidably elsewhere. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notanazi 2014-09-23 11:21 am UTC (link)
	You always have a choice. Tell me, what do you think you have to do? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vagueambition 2014-09-23 11:23 am UTC (link)
	That's very idealistic of you. I suspect my goals are a bit more short term than yours. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notanazi 2014-09-23 11:24 am UTC (link)
	You might actually be the first person to call me idealistic. Ever. You might be suprised. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vagueambition 2014-09-23 11:26 am UTC (link)
	Which makes it no less true. I doubt it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notanazi 2014-09-23 11:37 am UTC (link)
	You tend to lose any ideals you might have had doing what I do. What I mean is, you always have another option. You may not take it because of some reason or other but its there. Means whatever you do, you mean to do, whatever choice you make, its your choice. You don't think I do short term goals? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vagueambition 2014-09-23 11:40 am UTC (link)
	The luxury of choices isn't always available. Not what I said. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notanazi 2014-09-23 11:53 am UTC (link)
	Not always a luxury. Isn't it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vagueambition 2014-09-23 11:54 am UTC (link)
	No. Just often. You ask a lot of redundant questions. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notanazi 2014-09-23 11:55 am UTC (link)
	You really buy that? I don't ask anything without a reason. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vagueambition 2014-09-23 11:56 am UTC (link)
	I wouldn't have said it, otherwise. I can keep repeating myself to answer you, if you'd like. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notanazi 2014-09-23 11:59 am UTC (link)
	Please do, its actually interesting how hung up you are on it. Basically I'm profiling you. I'm curious (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vagueambition 2014-09-23 12:00 pm UTC (link)
	Is that right? And what curious things have you determined so far? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notanazi 2014-09-23 12:06 pm UTC (link)
	You may not want to know (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vagueambition 2014-09-23 12:07 pm UTC (link)
	Why, because you think it will bother me? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notanazi 2014-09-23 12:09 pm UTC (link)
	Because I don't think it will help you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vagueambition 2014-09-23 12:10 pm UTC (link)
	As opposed to having no impact whatsoever? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Grantaire notanazi 2014-09-23 12:13 pm UTC (link)
	Cynical. Probably weren't always but now its a defence. Something brought it on, a traumatic event and now you're not sure you could be without it Close? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)