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Tahiri Veila knows the price of pain ([info]hrosha_gul) wrote in [info]wariscoming,
@ 2013-08-08 19:28:00

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Entry tags:jacen solo, tahiri veila

WHO: Tahiri Veila and Jacen Solo
WHAT: There are feels. Because it's them and it's always complicated.
WHEN: This morning.
WHERE: Their place.
RATING: TBD, but they're ex-Sith.
STATUS: In Progress.



Tahiri's hair was still wet from her shower as she sat cross-legged on the floor, breathing deeply, letting her mind and body relax. It was her regular routine now, going out for her morning run, coming back to shower and then to meditate, stretching her mental focus out and honing her skills as a.... Force user. Neither Jedi nor Sith. Both. Maybe.

There had been a lot on her mind over the past couple of weeks, troubled thoughts that refused to leave even as she tried to understand them. The fights Anakin had had with both her and Jacen, just before he was taken away. It had hurt, so deeply, more harshly than she had admitted out loud to anyone, even Jacen. Anakin had been, and always would be, her first love, that deep passion that hadn't truly died with him. And Tahiri wished he could have accepted her now. The woman she had become. She refused to apologize for the choices she had made. Yes, there had been mistakes, but she had also been strong, had done good for the galaxy. To see Jedi as good and Sith as evil was so narrow minded. Maybe it had been a foolish, childish dream to have Anakin accept her, but he hadn't and then he had been taken, away to die again. And all Tahiri felt able to do was cling to Jacen, to submit to him and surrender any feeling of control, let him make all the decisions for a few days.

And then there had been the conversation with Caroline. And that had haunted her since it happened, making her question so much, even look more deeply at her own relationship, for lack of a better word, with Jacen. She had been able to read the post because, as Caroline had put it, she had had feelings for someone who had done horrific things. Tahiri had never felt a need to define what she and Jacen were; it was not dating, not being a 'couple' as this world might think of it, nor was it as simple as Master and Apprentice any more. To call them 'friends with benefits' just cheapened it all. Tahiri needed what they were, craved it, but at times still felt like his dirty secret, the mistress no one wanted to talk about. And it could be.... lonely.

She suppressed a groan of frustration but came out of the meditation, barely able to settle in to the trance at all. Brushing some strands of wet hair from her eyes, she uncurled her legs, preparing to stand up and move from the living room to the kitchen. Coffee. She required coffee.

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-08-08 04:23 pm UTC (link)
Tahiri had not been okay for the past few weeks. In fact Jacen thought maybe things had gotten worse for her since Anakin had gone. So much left unsaid and what had been said, said in anger. Jacen had made his peace with it mostly, if he was honest, by ignoring it. Deciding it was better just to blank the whole thing than to think about just how much his brother must have hated him as he was pulled back to death.

He'd watched her for a while, meditating, or trying to. Her mind was uneasy and she was furious with something, possibly herself. And so he'd busied himself making coffee for them both. He might have gotten a little overzealous with the amount drunk since it had been returned but who even took coffee. It was ridiculous. And cruel.

He crossed the room just as she uncurled herself ready to stand.

"Come and sit." he told her, placing the coffee down on the table beside the couch and sitting down himself. They'd settled into a mostly comfortable routine, few barriers between them. Why would there be? There was nothing he didn't know about her and very little she didn't know about him. And he hated to see her so despondent.

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-08-08 04:37 pm UTC (link)
She almost jumped slightly. It was ridiculous, considering how open they were with each other, in every sense of the word, that she hadn't realized Jacen was right there. A sign of just how distracted she had been lately, and it just increased her frustration with herself. As much as her outward response was calm, both she and Jacen knew she had been startled.

But that didn't stop her smiling slightly at the coffee. Force, it had been difficult without it. Tahiri didn't have the same love of it that Jacen had, but even so she had missed the taste of it and the sweet, sweet caffeine. The Apocalypse was one thing, but taking the caffeine just crossed the line.

She moved quietly over to join him, her bare feet barely making a sound, before she took her seat on the couch beside him, drawing her knees up as she picked up the mug, wrapped her hands around the warmth and inhaling the scent of coffee with a faintly satisfied noise.

"Thank you." The silence between them was comfortable for a few moments as she sipped the drink gratefully. "You alright this morning?"

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-08-08 05:27 pm UTC (link)
He couldn't deny it had amused the hell out of him when she'd been startled, he was kind of proud that she was still able to get her like that. Possibly he had a kind of jerky sense of humour sometimes.

He let one arm wrap around her, possessive perhaps, but she'd never complained. Tahiri sipped away at the coffee as he thought about how to answer her. "Honestly I'm better than I probably should be. Better than you and Jaina seem to be at any rate. I'm not thinking about it. If I do..."

It wouldn't help the situation. And he needed to maintain his calm and his focus so this was the way to do it. It was better this way. "You though" he commented, hands now at her shoulders massaging the tension from there, "You're not alright, and you need to tell me how I can help with that. He was angry Tahiri, of course he was, and in many ways I can't blame him for it. He was so young, and he'd always been hotheaded. He got that from Han. He was never going to accept...us, this, whatever we are."

"And since we were never planning on changing for his sake...why are you so worried about it now." He didn't quite know how else to phrase it but there it was.

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-08-08 06:18 pm UTC (link)
She wished she could be more like that. Not thinking about things when they were too painful. Though it was probably for the best he didn't let his thoughts go down darker paths, to maintain focus. Because one of them needed to. When Allana and then Tenel Ka had been taken, it was she who had remained calm. Now, it seemed, the positions were reversed, which was strange in a way, considering how much Anakin had meant to both of them.

Still, she relaxed into his hands, smiling slightly at the skillful way his touch relieved the tension she was carrying in her shoulders. Pain was one thing, but aches were just annoying. And it allowed her time to think a little more before answering.

"I guess I had this idiotic fantasy that he could forgive me," she eventually said. "Not that we'd be together, I've changed too much for that, but that he could accept who I am now. Who we are now. Foolish, I know."

But he was right, they were never planning on changing what they were, they needed each other too much, and maybe it was selfish of them both, but that was a simple fact. "I was asked for advice the other day," she commented abruptly. "Someone." She would not name names. "Someone who wanted to know how to handle a..." Now at this she faltered. Trying to find the word. Feelings? Relationship? "A connection to someone complicated, a connection others would find hard to understand." Which really did define Jacen and Tahiri utterly.

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-08-09 08:59 am UTC (link)
She expected forgiveness for moving on? For living a life in which she'd had to mourn the love of her life? Jacen expected better from her, and she had to know it. Anakin would never, could never have accepted what they had become, and in truth, Jacen didn't understand for a second why he would have done. Focusing on her shoulders Jacen deepened the massage a little, trying to take some of the tension away as he listened to her speak. He pushed it further with Tahiri than he would with anyone else but then she could take it, she could always take it.

Of course the tension wasn't just in her muscles. She'd been worrying about all this for longer than he expected he'd known.

"A connection." he repeated, lifting his hands away and beckoning for her to sit facing him, he would finish the massage once this conversation was had. Because it seemed it needed to be. "And what advice did you give this someone? Because such complicated connections do cause problems overall, we both know that for a fact."

And she hadn't known how to phrase it, had she? How to handle a...something, whatever they were, complicated feelings were all over it. Did she perhaps love him? Was that it? And more to the point, did he mind if she did or would it be something else to get used to.

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-08-09 09:07 am UTC (link)
Tahiri let out a small groan of pleasure at the way he pressed his fingers into her muscles. Soft, gentle massages never did anything for her, and anyone else might have been too scared she would break. But not Jacen. Never Jacen. He knew exactly how to press, how to touch, and ease the tension away.

But, it seemed, there was a break in the massage, and almost reluctantly she turned around, leaning against the back of the couch slightly as she contemplated her answer.

"I told them that they needed to decide if they could accept this person. All of them, even the darker sides. Because trying to force them to change never worked, it would just cause them both heartache. And maybe they could see another side to this person, a side others rarely got to see, but that doesn't mean that's all there is to them. Either accept them all, or walk away. It's the only way to find peace."

Force, she really could have been talking about them, couldn't she. "I also pointed out that others might never accept their choice, and that might be something to come to terms with." Again, so very much about them. Tahiri didn't regret who and what they were, even if she knew she had alienated herself from a lot of people with her decision.

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-08-09 09:19 am UTC (link)
He couldn't help the slight smirk that crossed his lips as he realised he could still do that to her, even after all these years. But Tahiri turned around as he'd known she would once he asked and answered him, and it was a sensible answer all in all. Deciding if they could accept all sides of the person. It was what it would take after all if this person was to find happiness with the complicated other.

"And you would know, about accepting all sides, the darkness within someone. You would understand well what that means, wouldn't you?"

He met her gaze.

"Did it bother you so much that Anakin would never have accepted us? You're still here though, you didn't leave even when it might have made him happy. Not that I thought you'd get him back or anything, you're older, wiser, you've seen too much. But you might have kept a friend, kept Jaina and Mara from looking at you like you'd do whatever I say just because I say it?"

In truth though, she did, didn't she? Tahiri truly did do whatever Jacen told her to a lot of the time, and he couldn't deny it

"I suppose my question to you is, are you happy, here, with me, like this, knowing how people see us?"

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-08-09 09:29 am UTC (link)
"I understand it better than most." Better than Tenel Ka. Hers was a name that Tahiri never mentioned, for fear that even hearing it might make Jacen end this... connection between them. Maybe she was the dirty secret mistress, but that didn't mean she would rather be nothing to him. And the truth was, as Tahiri saw it, Tenel Ka had never truly accepted all the sides of Jacen. Maybe she had accepted his past, but not how it impacted on who he was now. Tahiri could. Tahiri had grown up with Jacen, had been by the side of Caedus and now was with this man now. She knew him, she accepted him.

"Yes and no," she finally answered. "Like I said, a foolish dream that could never have happened, and I know that. And I think half of his issue was the path I walked even before here, becoming a Sith. If could never forgive and accept that, he could never accept us now. So there is no way I could have made him happy, just made myself miserable." So, she never could have kept a friend, not in Anakin, as painful as that was to feel. But Mara, Jaina?

"I don't do it just because you tell me to," she muttered, though she couldn't meet his gaze. Was it her fault that the things he asked of her were things she wanted to do anyway?

"Are you happy?" She turned the question back on him, rather than answer it herself, just yet anyway.

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-08-09 09:42 am UTC (link)
She couldn't look at him when she spoke, when she said it wasn't because he told her to? Did that mean he did yet control her? People had said it, and part of him had ignored it because it had always been that way. Because she'd always done what he'd said without fail, without question. She was happy here, with him, doing his bidding because perhaps she agreed with what he asked of her.

He ran a hand along her cheek, softer than they were used to of course but he was worried about how this was impacting on her, on his Tahiri.

"I won't lie to you, I miss them, Allana, I don't know if I'll get to see her grow up. I don't know if she'll come back. But that aside, yes I'm content. Having you here, it helps. You've always helped and I want you to know that. Its not just because you're my apprentice, its not because you agree with me, its having you here, being around you. It means a great deal to me Tahiri."

He tilted her chin up toward him. "Now look at me, since when do you fear looking me in the eye."

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-08-09 09:53 am UTC (link)
When he touched her cheek, Tahiri turned her face into the touch slightly, eyes drifting closed for a minute. Of course he would miss them. Both of them. And she wasn't selfish enough to wish they would never come back. Well, Allana anyway. Tahiri wanted the redheaded girl back for the sake of her father.

But would Allana accept them any more than Anakin had? And what if Tenel Ka returned? With or without the memories of Lawrence. Would Jacen leave her and return to his great love?

Those were the questions she feared to ask, and looking him in the eyes might potentially reveal them anyway. Or show the complicated, indefinable feelings she had for him. It wasn't the love she'd had for Anakin, but that had also been a childish love, the innocence of first love. And she would never have that again, not with anyone. So maybe what she felt for Jacen was love.

When he tilted her chin up, she didn't have a choice but to look him in the eye, and she didn't want to have any barriers, any shields or hiding between them. So she kept her expression open, allowing all the swirling emotions she was feeling to show in her gaze. "I don't stay because of duty or because you asked, I stay because I want to. My choice." Because she knew, if she wanted to, she could walk away and Jacen would let her. Reluctantly, yes, but he would.

"It's not fear," she murmured, still looking at him, still open. "It's uncertainty."

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-08-09 10:00 am UTC (link)
Uncertainty.

It made sense in some ways, and Jacen understood her a lot more than he supposed he once had done. She was here because she wanted to be, in spite of how it must have appeared to others. They would see only the Sith, only the control he was supposed to have over her. How was she to say anything else?

On admittidly somewhat of a whim Jacen kissed her, proving a point perhaps but as he leaned in and as their lips met he wondered was she still uncertain. She felt for him, he'd known that for a long time, used it as he'd used her love for Anakin. But lately, it had almost been a comfort to him to have someone like her in his life.

Pulling away slightly but still tilting her chin, he gazed into her eyes trying to gauge something from her, anything. Oh she wasn't hiding it but he wasn't sure that he saw love. Not as he'd understood it. Perhaps then, they were something different. Something unique.

"Are you still uncertain? You have to know I care for you. Do I not show that to you?"

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-08-09 10:15 am UTC (link)
When he kissed her, Tahiri kissed him back. Not the harsh kisses they sometimes shared, all heat and rough passion, but something softer. Closer to the kinds of kisses others might share. Normal couples. Not that the pair of them could ever actually be that. If nothing else, normal couples hadn't been in the Embrace the way they had been.

She did smirk a little though at his question, a little lopsided quirk of her lips. "You show it." Now, anyway. At first, when they had first been taken, it had been hard. Tahiri had refused to leave him, and that had been her choice, but his coldness had been difficult to handle. Over recent weeks though, things had changed. Jacen had been warmer, smiling more, and the relationship had settled into something calmer.

Even if he hadn't quite understood her point. He had jumped to an obvious conclusion, but not all of it. Tahiri shifted a little, lightly pushing him back and swinging one leg over to sit across his lap, facing him. Yes, he could have easily lifted her away, but that wasn't the point.

"It's not uncertainty of you, it's uncertainty of myself. Giving the advice, the issues the person is facing, it's made me think. They fear their own feelings, not just what others might think, but within themselves. I don't fear what I feel for you, but it is.... complicated." That word again. It really could be annoying, but it was the most relevant.

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-08-09 10:47 am UTC (link)
It was probably weird to consider where she moved to sit a normal thing. And of course it made him think particular things but the discussion still needed to be had. He needed her to understand that she didn't need to be worried about how she felt. Not really.

That kiss had after all told him quite a lot.

"Do you fear your feelings for me then? You shouldn't. Its nothing you should ever have to be ashamed of and I want you to realise that." he told her, arms wrapping around her waist to pull her closer to him. "I thought I'd taught you to maintain certainty. To understand who you are, what you are, to own your emotions and not to let anyone ever tell you they're wrong, or they're bad. You're stronger than that, stronger than them, and I want you to know it. Can you do that for me?"

She'd given advice to this, whoever it was, and they'd hopefully learned something, learned that if they felt those feelings fully, and properly then they should let nothing stand in their way.

"Complicated is what is is. We'll likely always be complicated, question to need to ask is, is it worth it."

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-08-09 10:59 am UTC (link)
The fact she was so comfortable in such an intimate position probably spoke volumes to them both, but it was simply the truth. She had sat that way many times, some times with more intentions behind it that others.

Tahiri let him pull her closer, listening to what he was saying. It was true, he had always trained her to be certain, to be confident, to follow the strength of her beliefs. "I can do that." She nodded slightly, taking comfort in the reminder of what she was. "I know what I am, both Jedi and Sith, both or neither, and if people don't like it, they can just tsii dau poonsii." Shut their mouths. It was appropriate in the circumstances.

Declaring what she was in terms of the Force was easy. That she was confident in and had been for months. Who she was in terms of them was slightly different and needed more thought. Along with his question.

"It's worth it." Her voice was quiet but firm, confident. "Whatever we are, whatever I feel, I know I want this. I want you and I don't want anyone else." It was almost a statement of commitment, not just in terms of the Force but their relationship.

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-08-15 02:30 pm UTC (link)
The confirmation that she wanted to be here, that it was worth it for her to be with him. It meant a lot to Jacen, even if he couldn't quite put into words what he felt about her. She was Tahiri, she was his. And that was enough, at least for now. She had listened to him, shown utter confidence in herself and he was proud of her.

"Of course its worth it."

There would be no one else. It wasn't that he was possessive of her, he just didn't trust other people not to try and change things. Not to interfere. Getting to where they were, it had taken time, and coming here had changed things in so many ways. For him, to see his daughter grown, to marry Tenel Ka only to find that the Hapan Queen could never completely move past the person he had been or the things he had done.

And loyal Tahiri. She didn't follow him blindly, she told him when he went too far. But she was always there.

He kissed her again, happy she was secure in herself, in both of them.

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-08-15 06:27 pm UTC (link)
His words, and his kiss, helped her confidence increase more. A look of faint pride came over her as she returned the kiss, body pressed against his, her hands cupping his face as her fingers teased the ends of his hair.

After a moment, she pulled back, just a little, her hands staying where they were, as she stared into his eyes with a look of defiance and confidence. "I'm yours." It was a statement, one that they both already knew extremely well, though she rarely stated it out loud. Showed it every day with her actions, but words were somehow definite. And her lips curled into a smirk.

"And you're mine."

Now that was a new element, and yet she seemed both calm and certain when she said it, her look almost playfully daring him to disagree. Because they were each others. There was no word to define their relationship, but they understood each other, belonged to each other. It may have taken Tahiri a while to truly see it, but it was the simple truth of it really.

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-08-18 02:27 pm UTC (link)
Now that was new, and interesting, and he had to say he approved greatly of it. Tahiri could still surprise him now and again and he truly hoped she always would. She was his and he was hers. That was true, it had become true slowly over the time they'd spent together, here and of course at home when he had come to rely on her so completely.

"Am I now?" he asked, knowing full well how Tahiri worked and how much she'd relish the challenge. "Talk like that Lieutenant you'll really have to put some effort in and prove it."

The calmness she was exhibiting, he had to admit he was proud of her. It had taken her a long time to be confident enough to say something like that to him and of course, he had to admit he liked it.


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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-08-18 05:14 pm UTC (link)
Oh, she did love it when he talked like that, and her smirk grew as she shifted against him, pressing her body against his just so, all but pinning him down. At this angle she could look down at him, making him have to crane his head up to keep meeting her gaze, and she relished in the illusion of power it gave her.

"Oh, is that a challenge, Colonel?" Her tone was light, flirty, even with the glint in her eyes that was almost predatory. "Because you know how I never back down from those."

Another faint shift, a hint of pressure as she stretched with confidence against him. "And yes. You are. And you know it, just as I do."

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-08-20 08:03 pm UTC (link)
Everything that he was was telling him to grab her, throw her down and have his way with her because that control was so connected to him now and he was so used to having that in his life. He needed it, craved it, it was part of him, always would be. But when she spoke the way she did, when she laughed, when she challenged him.

When she applied the right pressure in the right way

"You'd better believe its a challenge." he told her, breath hot against her ear as he leaned in as close as he was able.

"And I won't accept defeat so easily. If I'm yours, Tahiri. If that's what this is. Then I'd like you to prove it beyond a doubt? Not so hard?"

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-08-30 11:40 am UTC (link)
Normally he was the one in control, something Tahiri willingly surrendered to him every time, because every single time, without fail, he made her feel just that damn good. Her trust in him was absolute after all, and letting him do what he wanted with her was part of that. And she loved it.

This time though, this time was different, the challenge laid out. And she smirked, taking a moment to let her gaze wander over him, hungrily taking in every inch of his body.

Abruptly, she grabbed his hands, pulling them back and pinning them to the back of the sofa, a movement which both had him where she wanted him, and made her stretch out her body along the muscles of his chest. Her fingers curled around his wrists, holding him there, slight pressure from the Force adding to her strength. She kissed him fiercely before moving her mouth along his jaw, to his neck, kissing and lightly biting him until she reached the curve where his neck met his shoulder. There she bit harder, sucking slightly, the pressure of breath and teeth leaving a mark on his skin.

"Mine." There was a faint hint of a growl in her tone as she released her physical hold on his wrists, even as the Force still made it clear she wanted him to keep his hands right where they were, and she moved her hands down to tug his shirt open, her gaze meeting his to see if he was still willing to stay just there.

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-08-31 08:23 am UTC (link)
Jacen didn't need control with her. Oh he liked it, wouldn't deny that. But he'd been held in the Embrace, fought through the white and returned stronger for it. He didn't 'need' control. So watching Tahiri assert herself, well he would never deny it was a sight to behold. She'd actually managed to pin him down, claiming him as hers and he could not deny her that.

The slight tinge of pain of course was enough to rouse him, meeting her gaze, that challenge still in his eyes. She was still looking to him for guidance, still letting him hold the final control and he wondered would she ever truly let go of that.

He leaned up, his lips, his teeth, tracing up her jawline to her ear before leaning in to speak, the words of course backed up with his presence in the Force, bearing down upon her.

"If you want me to be yours Tahiri then stop looking to me for consent with every action. I believe consent has been determined between us long ago and if that changes you will know through the Force, through our bond. Or is it really that you'd like me to push back, Is it too much for you to imagine you can control me. Your Lord, your master, would you rather that I throw you down and have you in every single way I know how for as long as I choose it?"

So spoken, he leaned back against the sofa again, his hands never having moved from where they had been.

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-08-31 10:42 am UTC (link)
He was her Lord and Master, she was his Apprentice... and partner. Not his equal, not in terms of the Force, he had considerably more power and control than she did. But when talking about them, their relationship, that was more of an even playing field.

So as much as the thought of him simply taking her, knowing as she did just how satisfied he could make her, Tahiri simply smirked at him. "Maybe next time," she eventually replied, satisfied that he was staying just where he was. "This time, I'm the one in control, and we're going to do what I want." Because she could feel it, his consent, his confidence in her. And he was right, she would be able to sense the moment that changed, if indeed it ever did.

She stretched up, pulling the tank top she was wearing up and over her head, shaking her still damp hair loose and letting droplets of water leave wet trails over her skin. Tugging his shirt off the rest of the way did mean making Jacen lean forward a moment, but the second the garment was thrown to one side, Tahiri instantly had his hands pinned back down again. This time it was bare skin pressed against bare skin, her soft curves against his muscled torso.

With more of his body exposed, Tahiri went back to kissing him, making her way over his shoulders and down his chest, alternating between hot kisses, light bites of teeth and flicking licks of her tongue. Her body slid down his, lithe and flexible, pressing against his as she moved her way down. This time when she looked up, there was no question in her gaze, just her desire to see his reactions to what she was doing, using all her senses, both physical and with the Force, to help her sense him.

Just because she was the one in control, because all her movements were her choices, didn't mean she didn't want to know exactly how he was feeling, to get that thrill of knowing that he was getting aroused by her and her actions.

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-09-01 06:36 pm UTC (link)
He couldn't help but have pride in her, the beautiful and strong woman she had grown into, that in many ways he had cultivated. It had been needed at the time, to have someone he could trust, someone by his side. But the roots of it had been planted in the Embrace, and in her transition to The One Who Was Shaped. Tahiri Veila was in many ways special and he truly hoped he was not the only one to see it.

And she knew exactly what to do to have him at her whims. More than that she seemed to be enjoying her little tryst with control. She had asserted herself in spite of all he'd said and he loved every single second of it.

He didn't need to speak to show his appreciation, every movement she made drew sighs of pleasure from him, every bite met with an approval shown just as much in the Force than in her reactions, they had been linked so many times in so many ways that it was easy to let her in, easy to share with her exactly what she was doing to him.

He wanted her, rather desperately, but knew also that she would not make this a quick seduction. She had taken her moment, and if he knew Tahiri she would make him wait before bringing him to the release he had already begun to crave.

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-09-02 11:34 am UTC (link)
It was a rush, that feeling of control, him staying there and letting her do as she wished and letting her sense his reactions. As much as letting him utterly take her thrilled her so many times, she couldn't deny the slightly addictive feeling of pinning him down.

She indeed took her time, dragging her nails down his chest before tracing her tongue over the reddened skin. Kissing his sides, the heat of her breath ghosting away any trace of moisture from her mouth. Sometimes she slid further down, sharply nipping at his hip with her teeth, just at the edge of his jeans, before moving back up again. Teasing him, surprising him, never quite going where he might expect. Anything to make him sigh like that, make his breath catch, feel his heartbeat increase just that little bit more.

Minutes must have passed, and every inch of his exposed skin given attention by her when Tahiri grinned wickedly and finally unzipped his jeans, lifting his hips to ease them off even as she kept pressure from the Force on his hands to keep them in place. It was a slight sign of her somewhat restrained impatience that she dragged his boxers down with the jeans, and she took a moment to shamelessly admire the sight before her. No matter how many times, he would always impress her.

She slid down until she was on her knees in front of him, her hands on his hips, slight pressure from her thumbs keeping him in place as she looked up at him. "Stay." Simple, to the point, but she wondered if his self control would crack at all as she leaned forward and teased him with her tongue, a few light flicks before she took him further into her mouth. The way her hands still gripped at him made it clear; if he moved, she would stop. She was in control, she would set the pace and she would tease him for as long as she wanted.

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-09-02 05:07 pm UTC (link)
Her teasing got the reaction she probably expected it would. Jacen just letting the sensations overtake him. Every nip, every bite driving him crazy and of course he knew Tahiri loved every second of it which only heightened what this was doing to him. Not to mention her own enjoyment radiated through the Force. That was something few others could understand.

And then of course all functional thoughts left his mind.

Every instinct he had was telling him to move, to grab her head, make this go at his pace, make the kriffing teasing stop, but of course that was part of it wasn't it? That was what she wanted and that was what he'd give her. The eventual payoff would of course be well worth it.

He didn't move, he didn't speak. Just reinforced the bond they shared through the Force.

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-09-02 06:18 pm UTC (link)
She was impressed he managed to stay where he was, feeling as she could how much restraint he was having to use. But she had every intention of making the result worth it. The longer she teased him, the greater the reaction, and she kept her gaze locked on his face, watching every look in his eyes.

So she did take her time, alternating between flicking her tongue and sucking with just the right amount of pressure, taking him as deeply into her mouth as she could, with a faint groan of pleasure from her sending vibrations from her throat to him. Because Force was she getting pleasure from her teasing of him as well, pleasure he could feel as well. The way their bond was, Tahiri could barely tell where her feelings ended and his began. So she was teased as much as he was, and it took so much of her restraint to maintain her control.

After a while she stopped, one last teasing lick before she stood up, with a very smug grin. Still holding his gaze, she slid the last of her clothes off, standing before him completely naked and exposed with no hint of shame or embarrassment. She even stretched her lithe body, showing it off before she slid her hands down again, caressing over her breasts, down past her hips. And further down, her fingers curling to tease herself. Her breath caught and she moaned slightly as she slipped her fingers inside herself. She was standing close enough that Jacen would only have to reach a little to pull her to him, but that was against the rules of this little game, so instead he would just have to watch as she bit her lip, focusing on her own pleasure, a pleasure he would feel through their bond.

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-09-03 03:27 am UTC (link)
Okay that was it, she was evil. Actually evil even by his standards. He watched her, every little movement of her body, every single thing she decided to do to herself with her fingers and it was taking every ounce of willpower he had not to lean forward and grab her, they'd gone too far, she wouldn't stop him now, she so rarely stopped him of course. The Force bond of course would tell her exactly what he wanted, what he craved so desperately but kriff he could feel her too, every little ounce of enjoyment she was taking from her actions.

She would enjoy him more of course, whatever she could do to herself she would enjoy much more what he could do.

He watched, eyes never leaving her, willing her through the bond to give in to him, the teasing was going to drive him crazy and she knew it, and of course she loved it. It was what she wanted after all. "Tahiri" he said simply looking over at her, her Master, her Sith Lord, he had always had every level of control imaginable over her and she had always loved that he had and he wouldn't beg her, he wouldn't.

In times like this she usually begged him. Not the other way around.

But still...

Kriff will you just..." he mumbled, trying to find words



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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-09-03 07:04 am UTC (link)
The way he said her name, the way he seemed to struggle to find words, all signs of victory for Tahiri. And she actually laughed, taking a few more long moments to focus on herself, teasing fingers bringing herself right up to the brink before she made herself stop again. Because delaying gratification for both of them was a serious thrill.

Still, her breathing was heavier and a slight flush had appeared on her skin as she looked at him, letting the seconds tick on as she simply held their connection, her want as great as his.

"Since you asked so nicely." Her voice was practically a purr, and she still took her time moving closer, slowly swinging her leg over his until she was straddling over his lap again, keeping herself still just above him, still not quite giving him what he wanted.

It took all her control to hold herself there, just brushing against him, so tauntingly close, before she leaned forward to kiss him roughly. And then, only then, did she gradually lower herself down, letting him slide inside her inch by teasing inch, so very slowly even as she groaned loudly, because kriff did he feel good.

When he was finally deeply inside her, she grinned at him, rocking her hips just slightly as she clenched around him, her fingers tangling in his hair as she tugged a little. "Better?" Still with the slow movements, even though it was making her tremble a little bit, not wanting to entirely let go just yet.

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-09-03 09:49 am UTC (link)
Finally.

Jacen gasped with pleasure as Tahiri finally gave in. Every moan she made seeming to echo through the Force as he joined her. And of course she had started slow. Building momentum teasing herself as much as she was him. Though Jacen's patience was not infinate and he wanted. He needed her to scream for him.

His hands wrapped in her hair. Pushing free of the force hold and pulling it back. Oh she was still in control she could take it back if she wanted.

If.

He met her gaze. Fingers entangled still and allowed himself a lazy smile at how flushed she was getting. He said nothing, mearly moved to meet her with every movement. Maintaining the slow pace his hand still wrapped in her hair. A little bit of pain.

As she liked it.

"...don't you crave it?" he asked softly. Hot breath in her ear as their bodys entwined. "My apprentice"

Another tug at her hair and Jacen waited. The next move was hers.

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-09-03 11:57 am UTC (link)
Technically, the way he pushed free of the Force hold, pulled at her hair was against the rules, but the sharp sensation of pleasure made her not care for a moment. Because it was those ways of touching her that made Jacen just so damn good at making her scream and cling to him.

So she didn't tug his hands away, let him do that much at least, those tugs that made her gasp and thrust harder against him. But she did become rougher with him, pulling his hair hard enough to lean his head back. "You know I do," she smirked, a pause before adding the words she knew he wanted to hear. "My Lord."

With that she leaned forward, roughly biting the side his neck and speeding up the movement of her hips more, pushing against him with more force as her muscles clenched around him, only slowing down when she sensed either of them getting too close to the edge. Because she wasn't quite ready for this to be over just yet, and that last bit of control she still had made it clear that he wasn't to finish until she gave permission.

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-09-03 01:49 pm UTC (link)
Jacen was far from who he had been when he'd used that name. But he wouldn't ever deny it still meant something to him, on a level no one but Tahiri would get to see. He was her Lord. And the Dark Side did find its way so easily to the surface when they were like this. She had reacted as he'd imagined she would, playing rougher as he'd broken the rules but betraying herself with every movement she made.

And she had her control back, slowing every time it seemed like perhaps they were close to the edge. Prolonging the whole thing and Jacen didn't mind one bit. It was an exquisite torture and she knew exactly how to do that to him.

He'd broken her rules and this was her punishment, and so he gave in. Time didn't matter, the only thing he could think, could feel, was her. His apprentice, his Tahiri. He pushed back, stealing kisses, bites whereever he could. He wanted so much more.

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-09-03 03:17 pm UTC (link)
To the outside world, they were no longer Sith and they kept the Dark Side of themselves under control, and to a large extent it was true. But when they were like this, the two of them stripped back to passion, they could indulge that side of them that still lingered, the darkness and rough hunger, drawing thrills from the heat between them.

Tahiri drew out every moment, shifting and thrusting, teasing them both as her movements became rougher and less controlled, giving in more to need she had. She gripped onto his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin as her teeth left marks on his neck as she finally let go, letting herself finally reach that brink and fall over it and she actually screamed his name as every muscle clenched around him and she climaxed with a fierce intensity that showed through their bond.

And she let him know without words that finally he was free to do as he wanted, to take back the control and take any pleasure he wanted.

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[info]jeditraitor
2013-09-03 04:32 pm UTC (link)
When she finally gave in, it didn't take long for Jacen to follow, screaming things that might have been her name, might have been Vongese, hearing her call his name like that, either name, both. It didn't matter. She had come so far from the little girl he'd known, broken and lost.

He gave as good as he had got, marks along her shoulders, her neck, her back until finally release came after which Jacen took a moment or so to compose himself. Gathering his focus as the unspoken agreement followed. Tahiri was subservient again.

With a burst of energy through the Force he lifted them both and pushed her hard against the wall of the room, wondering if this time they might actually crack the foundations. "My name Tahiri" he said at almost a hiss, the Force pinning her in place as he traced a line with one finger along her face and down around her neck.

He had no objection to her taking control from him now and again but when he had it, when she agreed to it, he was going to take it. It felt oh so right to him.

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[info]hrosha_gul
2013-09-03 05:14 pm UTC (link)
When he pushed at her, she didn't resist, simply wrapping her legs around his waist, arms around his neck, and letting him pin her there, gasping with a strange pleasure at the way the wall felt slammed against her back. They could do this, together, take strength in a way no one else could. No one else would understand.

And he wanted his name. Tahiri let out a slow smile, head tilted back slightly to give him more access to her neck even as she kept her gaze on him.

"Colonel. Darth. Jacen. Caedus. Solo." Each word, title, name was said deliberately. Because he was both. That was what no one else could understand. They tried to force him to be Jacen again, fully Jacen as he had once been and could never be again. They feared the Sith Lord who was no longer completely there either. He was both, someone new. Someone she craved and yes, loved.

There was more to his name though. "Master. Lord." A fierce look in her eyes. "Mine." Her grip tightened on him, arms and legs tugging him closer as she declared it. "And I'm yours. Your Apprentice, your Lieutenant, your partner. Always." She would be by his side, and kriff she did love it when he took control over her like that, and she could just surrender to him completely.

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