WHO: Tahiri Veila and Jacen Solo WHAT: There are feels. Because it's them and it's always complicated. WHEN: This morning. WHERE: Their place. RATING: TBD, but they're ex-Sith. STATUS: In Progress.
Tahiri's hair was still wet from her shower as she sat cross-legged on the floor, breathing deeply, letting her mind and body relax. It was her regular routine now, going out for her morning run, coming back to shower and then to meditate, stretching her mental focus out and honing her skills as a.... Force user. Neither Jedi nor Sith. Both. Maybe.
There had been a lot on her mind over the past couple of weeks, troubled thoughts that refused to leave even as she tried to understand them. The fights Anakin had had with both her and Jacen, just before he was taken away. It had hurt, so deeply, more harshly than she had admitted out loud to anyone, even Jacen. Anakin had been, and always would be, her first love, that deep passion that hadn't truly died with him. And Tahiri wished he could have accepted her now. The woman she had become. She refused to apologize for the choices she had made. Yes, there had been mistakes, but she had also been strong, had done good for the galaxy. To see Jedi as good and Sith as evil was so narrow minded. Maybe it had been a foolish, childish dream to have Anakin accept her, but he hadn't and then he had been taken, away to die again. And all Tahiri felt able to do was cling to Jacen, to submit to him and surrender any feeling of control, let him make all the decisions for a few days.
And then there had been the conversation with Caroline. And that had haunted her since it happened, making her question so much, even look more deeply at her own relationship, for lack of a better word, with Jacen. She had been able to read the post because, as Caroline had put it, she had had feelings for someone who had done horrific things. Tahiri had never felt a need to define what she and Jacen were; it was not dating, not being a 'couple' as this world might think of it, nor was it as simple as Master and Apprentice any more. To call them 'friends with benefits' just cheapened it all. Tahiri needed what they were, craved it, but at times still felt like his dirty secret, the mistress no one wanted to talk about. And it could be.... lonely.
She suppressed a groan of frustration but came out of the meditation, barely able to settle in to the trance at all. Brushing some strands of wet hair from her eyes, she uncurled her legs, preparing to stand up and move from the living room to the kitchen. Coffee. She required coffee.