InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "This is all YOUR fault."

tennal halkana (tennalhin) wrote in valloic,
@ 2023-02-09 08:32:00

Entry tags:

!: network post, critical role: fresh cut grass, ₴ inactive: bonnie bennett, ₴ inactive: imogen temult, ₴ inactive: laudna, ₴ inactive: nesta archeron, ₴ inactive: surit yeni, ₴ inactive: tally craven, ₴ inactive: tennal halkana

[FILTERED TO MAGIC PEOPLE & SURIT.]

Are any of you adept at dealing with the mind? I guess it would be considered magical to you. Magical minds. ~~I just need to know how fucked I am if something goes sideways.~~ I have a few small questions, minuscule even, but I figured one of you would be able to answer.

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	Turit surit 2023-02-09 04:40 pm UTC (link)
	You think you're not a rank one anymore because the sync is broken? Syncing again wouldn't necessarily fix that if it's true. Not to mention I don't have anything to balance you out this time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Turit

tennalhin
2023-02-09 04:55 pm UTC (link)

I don't need to fix it. I don't even need to be a rank one. I want to know if there might be any adverse side effects. I like you and I like the bits of you still in my mind, but I don't want you to stress if suddenly everything is all fucked because of it.

And! Before you worry more, because I know you, and I know you're worrying, nothing has happened yet. I'm taking precautions. Look at me thinking ahead!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit surit 2023-02-09 05:10 pm UTC (link)
	~~Okay but you're~~ You can't stop me from worrying about you, Tennal. You'd worry about me if our roles were reversed. And anyway, we can't sync again even if there was a way to make it not awful. I'd rather you focused on making sure you're okay and that having a piece of me isn't going to degrade any part of you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Turit

tennalhin
2023-02-09 05:17 pm UTC (link)

But our roles are not reversed. So you don't know what I would do if they were! ~~But, Lights, fine, it would definitely be worrying me and I hate that you're right but I'm not going to admit it~~

I'm okay. I'm more than okay. The concern I have comes from the part about it maybe, possibly, degrading you. What if I have something important that we haven't figured out what it is yet?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit surit 2023-02-09 05:22 pm UTC (link)
	Are you trying to tell me you wouldn't worry about me? In all fairness, you also claimed you were okay when you were very clearly forgetting to breathe for your own body. But fine. It would be good to know if I'm missing anything. I wouldn't know obviously. Do I seem different? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Turit

tennalhin
2023-02-09 05:36 pm UTC (link)

Lights, I absolutely would worry about you. You know I would.

And that was a one-time thing. I learned my lesson. I have, what I consider, much more self-awareness than before. But no, you don't seem different in a I'm-missing-a-vital-part-of-me sense, but I'm also not someone who has a lot of experience looking for these things. Not really a precedent to follow with our circumstances.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit surit 2023-02-09 05:46 pm UTC (link)
	Then let me worry. It's my right. As your ~~boyf~~ person. You don't give yourself enough credit. I've never known anyone who gets people like you do. You see things I miss all the time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit tennalhin 2023-02-09 05:56 pm UTC (link)
	As my person? Is that what we're calling it now? I guess I do because most people are predictable and it's easy to guess what they will do. It's usually what I would do. It took a little longer to get you, though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit surit 2023-02-09 06:15 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know. I panicked. What do you want to call me? Glad I gave you a challenge at least. You still know me better than anyone. If something "vital" we're missing, I think you'd know. We could do a deep read? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit tennalhin 2023-02-09 06:42 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, nope, no. You don't get off that easy. What do you want to call me? Huh. We could. I got used to not doing that with you since you were, and I'm not overexaggerating, a bright solid light of closed-off-ness before we were synced. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit surit 2023-02-09 06:58 pm UTC (link)
	My boyfriend. I'm probably a wide open door now. Which is worrying for a different reason. But I trust you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit tennalhin 2023-02-09 07:11 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah? Well, I happen to like boyfriend. And I'll help you keep it closed. I'm sure there's someone here with all their telepathic mental shield spells or something to protect your mind. I won't let anyone get in there without your permission. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit surit 2023-02-09 07:21 pm UTC (link)
	Okay. Good. That's settled then. I have some old exercises I used to build up my natural protections when I was younger, but I'll take all the extra help I can get. I haven't felt anyone reading me, but then that may not always be a thing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit tennalhin 2023-02-09 07:32 pm UTC (link)
	How long have you been holding on to that? I know you didn't just decide today. It might not, and there are a ton of reader types here that I've never even heard of, but we can practice in the safety of our respective apartments. I'll teach you signs to feel for until we figure it out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit surit 2023-02-09 08:03 pm UTC (link)
	Day one? Sydney called me your friend. I wanted to correct her. Okay. Teach me. But stay focused and get answers for yourself first. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit tennalhin 2023-02-09 08:41 pm UTC (link)
	Since day one? Surit, you let me dance up against you as friends when it could have been boyfriends. I can't believe you're trying to put me first even in information gathering. I'm focused ~~mostly~~. I'm getting answers for both of us, at the same time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit surit 2023-02-09 09:30 pm UTC (link)
	I didn't want to rush you. I don't like making you feel cornered. I just know how easily you get distracted and how often you put your own safety aside for other goals. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Turit

tennalhin
2023-02-09 09:47 pm UTC (link)

We are going to have to have a conversation about what actually feels like cornering to me and what you think it is.

Wait, wait a second. I'm not going to fight you on the distracted part because I have had growth and I understand how my limitations work. And sure, do I get distracted? Yes, but I was told there was a dead rat named Patê that talked so that is a very fair distraction, especially in a place like this. But! You can't say you don't do the very same thing about putting aside safety for other people.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit surit 2023-02-09 09:59 pm UTC (link)
	If you insist. I didn't say it wasn't understandable, Tenn. The rat is a fair distraction. And all these other readers too. That's why I'm trying to keep you on track. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Turit

tennalhin
2023-02-09 10:06 pm UTC (link)

I promise, I'm on track. One of them even offered to go into my mind and poke around. And another person had a link that sounded similar to ours except it was sharing injuries, too. And I got you a pass to some book collection to help research about these sorts of things if it gets dire. I need you to help me be organized with all the information, you know I'm shit at that.

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	Turit surit 2023-02-09 11:05 pm UTC (link)
	Oh. Okay sure. I'll take a look at the books. But wait. Are you going to let her? Poke in your mind, that is? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit tennalhin 2023-02-09 11:24 pm UTC (link)
	No, not yet. I wanted to talk to you about it first before I made any rash, uninformed decisions. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit surit 2023-02-09 11:59 pm UTC (link)
	It's your mind, it's your call. But I'd like to be there if you do. And I'd prefer if we got to know her a bit first. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit tennalhin 2023-02-10 12:04 am UTC (link)
	There was no way I would do it without you there, even if we did know her better. You don't even have to ask, blanket permission. For now and in the future. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Turit surit 2023-02-10 12:32 am UTC (link)
	Thank you. Are you hungry? I'm going to make some pasta. Nothing exciting, but it's cheap. I need to get a job sorted now that things have calmed down. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)