Tony Stark is a Piping Hot Mess (![]() ![]() @ 2019-04-08 17:55:00 |
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Hey, it's me again. Your guy, Tony Stark. I have to stick the name on there because everyone on here is always all 'who are you again?'. Seriously, youtube search me, you'll even get videos with my clothes off. If you're into that.
So I need a person. I had a person, but she did such a great job that she got a promotion. Now it's your turn! General you. The person has to be able to handle things like: Kicking one night stands out of my apartment if I end up too busy to see them out, remembering important details like my birth date and my social security number, buying stuff when I need it, procuring me rare art, and being available for random trips to places at that last minute. Plus, I'll probably text you at 3am at least a zillion times. Very importantly, I've been told it's like babysitting. So someone with enough of a spine to tell a guy like me "Tony, No, it's 4am, get pizza at a normal time of night" is uniquely qualified to professionally babysit one Tony Stark.
There's awesome benefits and compensation for being forced to work for such a gigantic asshole as me. Hit me up.
On another note? I'm totally Iron Man, apparently. Like, super hero gig stuff. And Pop Tarts? You're on my naughty list.