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Tweak says, "trout a la creme"

Tony Stark is a Piping Hot Mess (avengingstuff) wrote in valarnet,
@ 2019-04-08 17:55:00

Entry tags:

anakin skywalker, carol danvers (captain marvel), haruhi fujioka, natasha romanoff (black widow), peter quill (star-lord), sam merlotte, thomas raith, thor odinson, tony stark (iron man), wanda maximoff (scarlet witch)

Hey, it's me again. Your guy, Tony Stark. I have to stick the name on there because everyone on here is always all 'who are you again?'. Seriously, youtube search me, you'll even get videos with my clothes off. If you're into that.

So I need a person. I had a person, but she did such a great job that she got a promotion. Now it's your turn! General you. The person has to be able to handle things like: Kicking one night stands out of my apartment if I end up too busy to see them out, remembering important details like my birth date and my social security number, buying stuff when I need it, procuring me rare art, and being available for random trips to places at that last minute. Plus, I'll probably text you at 3am at least a zillion times. Very importantly, I've been told it's like babysitting. So someone with enough of a spine to tell a guy like me "Tony, No, it's 4am, get pizza at a normal time of night" is uniquely qualified to professionally babysit one Tony Stark.

There's awesome benefits and compensation for being forced to work for such a gigantic asshole as me. Hit me up.

On another note? I'm totally Iron Man, apparently. Like, super hero gig stuff. And Pop Tarts? You're on my naughty list.

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	samshifts 2019-04-21 06:50 pm UTC (link)
	I don't think I want to know what would come up if I googled myself. And sometimes? It might be better to forget those nights. Pretty much every year actually. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	avengingstuff 2019-04-26 01:25 am UTC (link)
	I mean, maybe. But I feel like it's better to be prepared for that odd 13 year old kid to show up at your door that shares your DNA or something. That hasn't happened yet but I fully expect it to someday. Well, you're probably young. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	samshifts 2019-04-27 02:53 am UTC (link)
	...I don't think I even want to know why you've resigned yourself to that possibility. Not that young. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	avengingstuff 2019-04-29 10:10 pm UTC (link)
	I didn't get the 'playboy' part of my 'genius,billionaire,playboy,philanthropist' title by sitting at home lonely all day. How 'young' is 'not that young'? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	samshifts 2019-04-30 12:40 am UTC (link)
	And you never heard of condoms? Thirties. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	avengingstuff 2019-04-30 02:10 am UTC (link)
	Of course I heard of condoms. I'm also older and wiser and more respectful now than when I was a partying rich kid in my 20's. Yup, you're still pretty young. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	samshifts 2019-04-30 02:13 am UTC (link)
	And more observant about how to prevent kids if you don't want them. Hardly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	avengingstuff 2019-04-30 11:16 pm UTC (link)
	I wouldn't mind one, honestly. But you know, in a more stable environment, and when I'm at a point when I can even take care of a potted plant without killing it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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