InsaneJournal

I can't believe I'm expected to make nice and normal at everyone, over the bloody internet.

There's not enough scotch on the planet for this.

Fuckedyfuckfuck Fuck-a-Duck fuckIT.

Hello. I'm Pete Wisdom. I work for a overseas company that sells plushies and things with tiny plastic chokey bits to toy stores, for all of the world's ankle biters to gnaw and drool on. I'm here because my bosses think that I'd be the perfect regional sales representative. How kind of them.

I am so happy to meet you all. So, so happy. With all of the absolute...happiness. Rainbows and baby fluffy animals.

Where's the nearest pub?

And show me all of your weird so I can write a sarcastic report and then go light myself on fire.