InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Hey apple... Knife!"

Pete Wisdom is saving the world...from itself. (mister_wisdom) wrote in valarnet,
@ 2014-05-18 14:29:00

Entry tags:

alyssa hamilton, christian grey, doreen green (squirrel girl), elizabeth comstock, kitty pryde (shadowcat), lara croft, nick fury, pete wisdom, tauriel

~~I can't believe I'm expected to make nice and normal at everyone, over the bloody internet.~~

There's not enough scotch on the planet for this.

Fuckedyfuckfuck Fuck-a-Duck fuckIT.

Hello. I'm Pete Wisdom. I work for a overseas company that sells plushies and things with tiny plastic chokey bits to toy stores, for all of the world's ankle biters to gnaw and drool on. I'm here because my bosses think that I'd be the perfect regional sales representative. How kind of them.

I am so happy to meet you all. So, so happy. With all of the absolute...happiness. Rainbows and baby fluffy animals.

Where's the nearest pub?

~~And show me all of your weird so I can write a sarcastic report and then go light myself on fire.~~

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	nicelikethat 2014-05-18 11:34 pm UTC (link)
	Kids these days get too damn greedy around the holidays, even the nice ones. When I was a kid we got a ball and a stick and we felt lucky. Pretty glad I never had a few of my own. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mister_wisdom
2014-05-18 11:49 pm UTC (link)

I got a pack of fags with a bow on it, with the lovely aroma of alcohol hanging in the air. Weaving my way around the stacks of newspapers, just waiting to combust when one or both of my parents passed out, with their lit cigarettes in hand, and all I ever wished for, was a fire extinguisher. Not only for the impending house fire, but maybe to make my Christmas dreams come true by bludgeoning them both to death with it.

Ah, the holidays. Such feelings of warm coziness. We seem to both be truly blessed, don't you think?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nicelikethat 2014-05-19 12:58 am UTC (link)
	I always did love a great barbeque slash family get together. Especially with copious amounts of alcohol involved. Yeah, pretty damn blessed. Especially now that you've shown up to brighten up my day. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2014-05-19 01:23 am UTC (link)
	It's not a family function, unless there's copious amounts of alcohol. I know. I am a ray of sunshine. Private We should have a pint. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nicelikethat 2014-05-19 01:26 am UTC (link)
	If I wasn't wearin' an eyepatch I'd have to get sunglasses just to look at your shiny ass. Private Let me pencil you in to my oh so busy schedule. Which ain't that busy at all, you goin' down to that Mad Dog place? I can meet you there. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2014-05-19 01:35 am UTC (link)
	I don't know about shiny, but I'm infinitely proud of my pasty arse. Private Odd that. My schedule's mostly clear at this juncture, as well. The Mad Dog seems to be most recommended. What time's best? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nicelikethat 2014-05-19 01:40 am UTC (link)
	Blindingly radiant, like the sun. That's one thing us black guys don't have to worry about at least. Private It ain't that odd. I cleared my schedule just in case you showed up today. I got the heads up from your boss. Anytime from now until either of us normally passes out is good for me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2014-05-19 03:54 am UTC (link)
	You can check my pasty arse out any time you'd like, to rejoice that you've nothing to worry about. Private Word certainly travels. I only had 'meet with Fury' on mine. I need a drink. Now works. Meet you at Mad Dogs, then? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nicelikethat 2014-05-19 05:30 am UTC (link)
	Brother, you only wish I was taking the time to check out your ass. Private Mine is basically "We're sending you this guy, here's his credentials". It ain't like they gave me the details. They're still pissed I sniped Carter. See you in a few, then. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mister_wisdom
2014-05-19 05:42 am UTC (link)

Stop dashing all of my meager hopes and dreams. I had such high hopes of blinding you after I donned a thong.

Private

I haven't been in six for years, but I heard a rumor or two that you nicked her. They weren't pleased. That's likely why they've finally pulled me off the rest of my assignments and sent me. Or it speaks volumes about the Really Weird Shite, that's been happening here.

I'm naturally reluctant to say much more about my department, even under a privacy filter. I'll be round, shortly.

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