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Pete Wisdom is saving the world...from itself. ([info]mister_wisdom) wrote in [info]valarnet,
@ 2014-05-18 14:29:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:alyssa hamilton, christian grey, doreen green (squirrel girl), elizabeth comstock, kitty pryde (shadowcat), lara croft, nick fury, pete wisdom, tauriel


I can't believe I'm expected to make nice and normal at everyone, over the bloody internet.

There's not enough scotch on the planet for this.

Fuckedyfuckfuck Fuck-a-Duck fuckIT.

Hello. I'm Pete Wisdom. I work for a overseas company that sells plushies and things with tiny plastic chokey bits to toy stores, for all of the world's ankle biters to gnaw and drool on. I'm here because my bosses think that I'd be the perfect regional sales representative. How kind of them.

I am so happy to meet you all. So, so happy. With all of the absolute...happiness. Rainbows and baby fluffy animals.

Where's the nearest pub?

And show me all of your weird so I can write a sarcastic report and then go light myself on fire.


(Post a new comment)


[info]shadowcat
2014-05-18 09:37 pm UTC (link)
Oh hell no no again

You have no idea the kind of mess you just got assigned to, bub.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2014-05-18 10:12 pm UTC (link)
The American messy sort of mess. Since this is California, I expect it will be presented with a spray tan, bleached hair, and silicone body parts.

Or it could simply arrive in the form that says 'bub'.

Who even says that? Really.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shadowcat
2014-05-18 10:14 pm UTC (link)
Just a Canadian I hung out with a lot.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 10:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shadowcat, 2014-05-18 10:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 10:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shadowcat, 2014-05-18 10:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 10:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shadowcat, 2014-05-18 10:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 11:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shadowcat, 2014-05-18 11:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 11:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shadowcat, 2014-05-18 11:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 11:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shadowcat, 2014-05-18 11:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 11:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shadowcat, 2014-05-18 11:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 12:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shadowcat, 2014-05-19 12:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 12:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shadowcat, 2014-05-19 12:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 12:29 am UTC

[info]lara
2014-05-18 10:31 pm UTC (link)
Depends on what you look for in a pub.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2014-05-18 10:39 pm UTC (link)
A pint. A well poured pint. A well poured pint in a pub where I can read a newspaper in relative peace, without wanting to shove a crumpled up newspaper, an empty pint glass, or my fist into someone's gaping mouth hole.

Oh. And no Welsh.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lara
2014-05-18 10:47 pm UTC (link)
I worked in one here for a little while that was somewhat decent. The Mad Dog.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 10:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lara, 2014-05-18 10:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 11:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lara, 2014-05-18 11:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 11:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lara, 2014-05-18 11:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 11:41 pm UTC

[info]lara
2014-05-18 10:31 pm UTC (link)
Depends on what you look for in a pub.

(Reply to this)


[info]four_leaves
2014-05-18 10:45 pm UTC (link)
The nearest good pub? Probably back in England. Sorry.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2014-05-18 10:47 pm UTC (link)
So I'm fucked. Brilliant.

I hope the toy company explodes and everyone screams and runs around until they're reduced to cinder.

Cheers for the honest answer, luv.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]four_leaves
2014-05-18 10:51 pm UTC (link)
Essentially.

... toy company?

People from the civilized part of the pond have to stick together, or something something about the queen.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 10:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]four_leaves, 2014-05-18 11:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 11:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]four_leaves, 2014-05-19 12:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 12:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]four_leaves, 2014-05-19 12:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 12:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]four_leaves, 2014-05-19 12:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 12:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]four_leaves, 2014-05-19 02:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 03:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]four_leaves, 2014-05-19 03:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 04:11 am UTC

[info]heartsnflowers
2014-05-18 11:05 pm UTC (link)
Not sure I want to share my good pub with an Englishman.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2014-05-18 11:08 pm UTC (link)
Are you a Welshie? If so, the feeling's mutual. I don't want that sort of taint near me, either.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]heartsnflowers
2014-05-18 11:08 pm UTC (link)
Irish. Worse.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 11:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]heartsnflowers, 2014-05-18 11:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 11:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]heartsnflowers, 2014-05-18 11:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 11:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]four_leaves, 2014-05-18 11:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]heartsnflowers, 2014-05-18 11:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]four_leaves, 2014-05-18 11:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]heartsnflowers, 2014-05-18 11:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]four_leaves, 2014-05-19 12:03 am UTC

[info]nicelikethat
2014-05-18 11:11 pm UTC (link)
Mr. Wisdom. How nice of you to drop in.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2014-05-18 11:16 pm UTC (link)
Cheers and isn't it, though? It's like Christmas came early this year, to all the good children that I solemnly swear not to punt into the ocean.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]nicelikethat
2014-05-18 11:19 pm UTC (link)
That's a damn shame, some of them probably deserve it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 11:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nicelikethat, 2014-05-18 11:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-18 11:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nicelikethat, 2014-05-19 12:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 01:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nicelikethat, 2014-05-19 01:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 01:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nicelikethat, 2014-05-19 01:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 03:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nicelikethat, 2014-05-19 05:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 05:42 am UTC

[info]gla_represent
2014-05-19 12:07 am UTC (link)
What've you got against baby fluffy animals, you monster?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2014-05-19 12:22 am UTC (link)
I don't have anything against them. They're easily as compact and puntable as ankle biters are.

Equally annoying, as well.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]gla_represent
2014-05-19 12:53 am UTC (link)
I hope you get tetanus.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 01:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gla_represent, 2014-05-19 02:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 03:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gla_represent, 2014-05-19 03:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 04:09 am UTC

[info]manylighthouses
2014-05-19 01:21 am UTC (link)
I'm trying to figure out why they'd think this about you, considering how you seem to feel about plushies and children.

But... what kind of plushies do you sell?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2014-05-19 01:26 am UTC (link)
Because they're shite. There probably doesn't need to be another reason, since most employers are shite.

The squishy kind. Like this:

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]manylighthouses
2014-05-19 01:28 am UTC (link)
Maybe they wanted to get you out of their hair for a few months.

... That is adorable, though. Are you selling that one? Where would I be able to buy it?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 01:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]manylighthouses, 2014-05-19 01:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 03:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]manylighthouses, 2014-05-19 05:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 05:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]manylighthouses, 2014-05-19 05:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 05:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]manylighthouses, 2014-05-19 08:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 08:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]manylighthouses, 2014-05-19 08:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 08:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]manylighthouses, 2014-05-19 08:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 08:55 am UTC

[info]forest_warrior
2014-05-19 01:23 am UTC (link)
Another Brit! We ought to just go about claiming a section of town in the name of the Queen at this rate.


Did someone already tell you about The Mad Dog? It's the closest to a pub I've found yet.

Also? If you fancy British style baked goods, you should give Baxter's a look. It's very Brit-friendly there! Good tea, if you're a tea-swiller like most of us. I prefer coffee, myself, though.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2014-05-19 01:30 am UTC (link)
It would be an improvement project. I quite like that.

I've been told. It seems to be recommended. I also drink coffee. If I could, I would pour all of the coffee and all of the scotch together and take it, intravenously.

This is the first I've heard of Baxter's. I'll have to look into that, if you've an address for it.

This is far more simple than the bloody map with it's bloody markers.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]forest_warrior
2014-05-19 01:33 am UTC (link)
Considering how completely crazy it gets here, I'm not even sure anyone would notice.

Baxter's has excellent coffee, as well! Though I have to warn you - because you seem the type to think this is complete shite - that they use a special kind of milk that sparkles. So if you get anything with milk in, it will shimmer at you. But don't mind it - I find it makes the coffee taste better and it's no harm at all.

Address for Baxter's Bakery

I barely get my coffee anywhere else now!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 03:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]forest_warrior, 2014-05-19 05:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 05:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]forest_warrior, 2014-05-19 05:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_wisdom, 2014-05-19 05:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]forest_warrior, 2014-05-19 08:26 am UTC

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