InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "It's the eye of the Tweakger!"

ιѕαвєℓα (rivaini) wrote in valarcomm,
@ 2016-04-20 08:12:00

Entry tags:

fenris, isabela, lina inverse

texts + a loving phone call

>> Oy, I know you're about to push a new life from your twat and all
>> So if you can't help I will understand
>> But I had a question

Isabela was a troll. She was like her fiance in that regard - it was also probably why they went together like peanut butter and chocolate, and had really good sex too. Though the sex didn't have so much to do with it, but anyway - she was sort of on a one-tracked mind, while sometimes thinking of additional things (eating, sleeping, other biological needs that didn't have to do with humping), because she had skills. It was why she phoned Fenris because, for one, she wished to talk to him and, two, she missed his porcupine self; Varric's nickname for him was Broody and as usual, it was spot on.

"'ello," she spoke cheerfully when someone answered and got him on the line, probably at gunpoint. "I need to place an order. A large mocha latte and I need the foam to look like a beautiful climax is happening - which means don't skimp on the love fluids, alright? Also, the bigger the dick involved, the better. If you want to make it two dicks involved, that's alright too. Maybe some dolphins forming a heart shape in the background."

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	dragonspooker 2016-04-20 03:26 pm UTC (link)
	>> Do you just have a gift that makes everything you describe sound dirty? >> I could use the pampering though, hells yeah >> Think they have a hole on the massage table I can stick my belly in? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	rivaini 2016-04-20 03:32 pm UTC (link)
	>> I do, actually, it's a talent of mine >> Along with swasbuckling >> I think you lie on your side or something but a hole in the cot would be convenient, wouldn't it? >> I will find someone who specialises in pre-natal massage >> Your back must be killing you, poor thing (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

dragonspooker
2016-04-20 04:01 pm UTC (link)

>> I'm sure you and your beardy fella will have a lot of swashbuckling adventures on your day of union
>> We expect to see you two on the news for some kind of public disaster
>> Don't get fined for property destruction, that tends to be a bitch depending on the damage
>> But, yeah, back's killing me, everything's killing me
>> My bladder is a bouncy house
>> You don't have to arrange anything but if you do, let it be known that I will probably love you forever

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	rivaini 2016-04-20 04:20 pm UTC (link)
	>> He's my favourite one to swashbuckle with! >> We'll try not to, but I just get so enthusiastic ;) >> Of course I'll arrange something >> Just tell me when you're free >> We'll see if we can alleviate the bouncy bladder pain a little (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dragonspooker 2016-04-20 06:25 pm UTC (link)
	>> Definitely preaching to the choir there >> May the four of us never get black out drunk together, we'd all wake up in jail or in some other country a la Hangover >> I'm free evenings and weekends! >> Do we get cocktails with umbrellas on them? >> Mine would be a virgin but damnit, I like the illusion of drinking (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	rivaini 2016-04-20 06:31 pm UTC (link)
	>> Oh, balls, probably both >> We'd wake up in a jail cell in another country >> It'd be glorious >> How about Sunday? >> We can drink mimosas with umbrellas! >> Well, a virgin one for you, like one of those sparkly fizzy cider ones (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dragonspooker 2016-04-20 07:06 pm UTC (link)
	>> With brand new tattoos and weirdly shaved heads, a trail of ruin behind us >> Yep, sounds exactly like how a couple's vacation would go >> Sunday works, though! >> What else do you need for Vegas? >> You doing a dress? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	rivaini 2016-04-20 07:25 pm UTC (link)
	>> A trail of ruin is my way of life, really >> So that sounds accurate >> I've got my Vegas shoes but as for the dress >> Still looking for it, hopefully I'll find it soon >> We're just going to end up bringing Dog and finding a pet-friendly chapel and winging it, I think (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

dragonspooker
2016-04-20 08:50 pm UTC (link)

>> You gotta get that mutt a little bowtie or something, he has to look the part
>> I'm a little jealous of your 'fuck it, wing it' 'tude, though
>> I think if my parents weren't in the picture I'd suggest an elopement too
>> I'm cool with receptions filled with cake and booze, that's never been a problem
>> But the actual ceremony would make me flail and accidentally hit someone, then they'd fall into a candle and shit would go downhill from there

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	rivaini 2016-04-20 08:59 pm UTC (link)
	>> He'd look so regal and proud in a bowtie >> Hawke really loves that slobbery beast >> Keep the ceremony short, then, that's all you do! >> Twenty minutes, done, move onto the cake and booze (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dragonspooker 2016-04-20 09:08 pm UTC (link)
	>> Man's best friend? >> He'll be drooling all the way down the disco aisle of that Vegas chapel, probably! >> But, yeah, that's the best thing to do, and keep it small >> Cake and booze would be the priority for me >> Are you guys gonna do something reception-like when you come back? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	rivaini 2016-04-20 09:11 pm UTC (link)
	>> So many puddles of drool >> But he's good at killing Darkspawn, so, having a Mabari around is helpful >> Something reception-like will happen >> Probably at the tavern we're planning to open >> Very soon (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dragonspooker 2016-04-20 09:28 pm UTC (link)
	>> Awwww >> If only there was a lady Mabari around so they could have puppies >> Little warhound puppies >> I'd take one, stat >> Ohhhh, right! >> Medieval drinking central >> But with actual toilets and not holes in the ground (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	rivaini 2016-04-20 09:30 pm UTC (link)
	>> Oh, hmmm, I didn't even think of that! >> I can't remember if Maia has a male or female Mabari >> But that really would be adorable >> Less rat droppings too >> And prostitution >> And just...more cleanliness >> It'll be so much better (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dragonspooker 2016-04-21 12:05 am UTC (link)
	>> Ohhhh, well, let me know if it ever happens >> I'll surprise Pete with a warhound puppy >> He may or may not want to throttle me >> Modern conveniences tend to do that, our dream selves don't know what they're missing out on >> If you need help with things, let me know >> I mean, I can taste test like no one's fucking business (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	rivaini 2016-04-21 12:28 am UTC (link)
	>> Warhound puppies are the best! >> I bet it'd grow on him >> We could use a taste tester or two >> We'll also have a flat above the place >> I'm keeping my beach house for reasons but after the Vegas thing we'll probably want to live together (Reply to this) (Parent)

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