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Gruesome Slaying of Minister Bagnold Shocks Britain

By Rita Skeeter, Daily Prophet Correspondent

LONDON - Less than one day after Albus Dumbledore's well-received town hall style appearance, citisens of magical Britain awoke to a gruesome sight this morning when the human body parts were discovered at prominent magical landmarks. The body parts were later identified to be those of Minister Millicent Bagnold, who was finishing her final 30 days in office.

Witnesses report finding Bagnold's head in the Ministry's Atrium fountains, arms in the Three Broomsticks, and legs in front of Ollivander's. There are no leads as to what's happened to the rest of her, though.

While details of the gruesome slaying are almost too terrible to discuss (will one ever be able to enjoy a nice beverage in the Three Broomsticks without thinking about where those hacked off limbs had been?), but Ministry officials are taking special interest in the Ollivander's crime scene where the killer left a nefarious fiery message:

DUMBLEDORE LIES. MAGIC LIVES.

More astute readers may recall this message from some weeks ago when our esteemed Daily Prophet issue was crudely vandalised with these exact words. It is safe to say, dear readers, that whomever wrote the damning message is also the Minister's killer.

It is difficult to consider the reasons for why Bagnold killed so brutally. If one were to consider political ambitions...well, it is true Bagnold already had one foot out the door and posed little threat to her political rivals, but could our current and suspected candidates have been motivated to kill Bagnold for other reasons? It is not beyond the realm of possibility to ponder if Rufus Scrimegour, Head of the Department for Magical Law Enforcement and newly-announced candidate for Minister, could have engineered such a crime to demonstrate his leadership abilities (and to perhaps take some attention away from how poorly the DMLE has been faring against rising Death Eater attacks).

But it cannot be ignored, that stark, terror-inducing message. It suggests that the killer has no great love lost for Albus Dumbledore and will go to dramatic lengths to make sure his message is heard. Make no doubt about it, dear readers, this is the work of a very dangerous extremist, and do we know many of those? Death Eaters? Bellatrix Lestrange? Perhaps. Yet a simple review of recent history would show that this work is simply not the Death Eaters' style.

So, no, my readers, I don't think it could have been the work of Death Eaters at all. Could it be, perhaps, the man who fooled the magical world into thinking he was dead for nearly a decade and then returned with a soapbox speech railing against Dumbledore on a day usually reserved for joyous celebration? Those are not the actions of a sane, reasonable individual, are they?

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Rita Skeeter is an award-winning journalist, author, and icon. Her latest book Sirius Black: From Black to Blacklisted is still the #1 bestseller in the Witch Weekly Book List. Look for your copy in all reputable magical bookstores.