Supernatural Fiction & Art

"Are we getting any candy for the little beggars on Halloween?" Dean asked Sam as they looked through aisles at the grocery store.

"Don't know. Are we planning on any of them coming over?"

"If our lights are on, the kids in the neighborhood are going to be on our doorstep looking for a treat."

"I don't get Halloween," Sam said.

"Yeah, with what we do, Halloween is too tame for a holiday," Dean agreed. "We should have some candy on hand, though, just in case. You still into anything chocolate?"

Sam nodded.

Dean grabbed a couple of bags of candy and moved on. "How are your classes this semester?"

"Harder than last year," Sam told him. "Drew is a godsend. The concepts that I can't wrap my head around, he just gets. He can explain them to me so I can understand them, not like the professor or the book."

"He's a good friend. Is he still working or doing his internship?"

"He still works part-time but his internship ended. Haven't you noticed him at our house lately?"

"Yeah. I just don't want to bother you two with asking Drew any questions. I figure if you're in the mindset of studying I'd better not interrupt."

"It's your home, too, Dean. You're allowed to talk to Drew."

"I know, I know. Do we need milk?"

"Better grab two gallons. I've been eating lots of cereal lately."

"Are we out of cereal, Sam?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Get anything on sale that looks good."

"I don't know. Grab whatever you want," Dean replied. He hated grocery shopping.

***

"Sammy?"

"Hm?" he was resting by Dean.

"I can't sleep," Dean sighed.

"You worried about something?" Sam was awake and looking at Dean.

"No. Just feeling restless, I guess."

"Hunting kind of restless?" Sam asked.

"I don't think so."

"You need a little help to relax?" a smile spread across Sam's face. "I could do that, you know."

"Exactly how would you do that?" Dean got that trademark smirk of his.

"I'll do better than tell you," Sam told him between kisses. "I'll show you." Sam's lips moved his way down Dean's lean body.

When he got to Dean's waist, Dean pulled him back up to kiss him. "Just your hand, Sammy. I want us to be together." Dean reached down to feel Sam, who was already hard.

Sam reached for Dean and stroked him slowly. Their moans and murmurings were hushed in the darkness.

***

"Are you sleepy now, Dean?"

"Very comfortable and relaxed. You do good work."

"I do my best," Sam brushed his fingers across Dean's cheek and looked into his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Dean replied. "Don't my actions speak louder than words?"

"I still need the words," Sam told him. "I need to hear them from you and tell them to you. It's important to me."

"Anything for you, Sam. Words it is. I still enjoy our actions, though."

"Me, too. Just try to remember the words. Okay, Dean?"

"Remind me if I forget," Dean kissed him. "I mean them even in my silence."

Sam just kissed him back.

***

They got through Halloween without the house getting egged or anything happening to the Impala. Turns out, that was Dean’s main reason for buying the bags of candy. He didn’t want the ticked-off treaters taking it out on his baby. He was quite generous with the candy when they came to the door. Sam just laughed at him, thinking of how Dean could fight all those creatures and still be scared of what a little kid could do.

“The second falls on a Saturday,” Dean told Sam between runs to the door with the chocolate bars. “Do you want to make some plans so that we’ll be busy?”

“We’ll need to call Dad,” Sam replied.

“He might be drunk, Sammy.”

“I know and I understand. I just think that he should hear from us and know that we’re here.”

“Anything else you want to do?” Dean asked.

“Visit Jessica’s grave,” Sam’s face contorted into a combination of sadness and shame. “It’s been a year, you know.”

Dean sat down my him. “I know,” he took Sam’s hand in his. “That’s why I asked you about what you wanted to do. Can you think of anything else that could make the day easier?”

“Bringing Jessica and Mom back,” Sam weakly suggested.

Dean gave Sam a sad look before he stood up as the doorbell sounded again.

***

“I understand that you miss Jessica and wish she was alive,” Dean bluntly started the conversation in bed. “Would you rather be loving her or loving me, if you had the choice?”

“Why are you asking me this, Dean?”

“I want to know.”

“She’s not coming back.”

“But, if she could. Sam?”

“You,” Sam’s reply was quiet.

“What?”

“I’d rather be loving you,” Sam said a little louder. “I am ashamed of the fact that I am here enjoying life with you while Jessica is dead. I feel bad that I was with her when I was thinking of you. It’s like I was unfaithful or something.”

“Did you go out with or hook-up with anyone while you were with Jessica?”

“No. I just thought about you,” Sam raised his tear-filled eyes.

“That’s okay, Sam,” Dean started to feel bad for even bringing it up. “This isn’t something either of us could have seen coming. I mean, we thought about each other but didn’t ever think it would happen.”

Dean could see that Sam was still struggling to make sense of it all.

“Love doesn’t have rules, Sammy. Your heart feels what it does, and you can’t change that. Part of you really loved Jessica. I know that and I can deal with that. You need to realize that it is possible to love more than one person. Especially with a heart as big as yours, Sammy. You have enough love in there for many people. Jessica wasn’t neglected because part of you loved me. She was happy and you two were in love.” Dean stopped to take a breath. “I’m sorry, Sam. I should not have asked you that.”

“You can ask me anything, Dean.”

“I know, but I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have needed you to pick me in that scenario so that I could feel secure in our relationship.”

“But you did, and that’s just being human,” Sam tried to comfort him even as tears rolled from Sam’s brown eyes.

“I’m not supposed to be human,” Dean blurted out. “I mean, I’m supposed to be a hunter. Emotions aren’t my thing.”

“You’re allowed to have feelings and share them with me,” Sam told him. “I need to know what’s going on in that head of yours sometimes.”

“So, you aren’t mad?”

“No. I am not mad.”

“Did I make you feel worse about Jessica?” Dean asked.

“No. If you tried to make it like she never existed, that would really hurt me. Comparing the two of you is difficult because you’re not the same. I felt bad already, Dean. You didn’t make it worse.”

“I’m supposed to make it better.”

“You do,” Sam moved closer and molded himself around Dean’s body. “When you hold me, you make it better.”

“That’s good to know, Sammy,” Dean replied as he wrapped both arms around Sam.

Sam and Dean phoned their dad as soon as they woke up. Bobby answered the phone.

"Hey, Bobby," Dean greeted him. "We were just calling to see how Dad was since, you know."

"Last night was a tough one," Bobby told him. "John's still sleeping it off. I doubt today will be any better."

"I guess not," Dean replied. "Could you tell him that we called?"

"Sure. I'll have him call you guys in the next few days, when he's feeling better."

"Just call us if you need anything," Dean reminded him. "I know we're far away but it's still just a phone call and a road trip."

"I know. How is Sam doing?"

"Want to talk to him?"

"Sure," Bobby was concerned. He recalled that Jessica had passed on the same date as Mary.

"Hi, Bobby," Sam took the phone from Dean. "Dad's not doing too good, huh?"

"No, not this year. How are you doing, Sam?"

"We're going to visit the cemetery today. It's difficult to believe that it's been a year."

"Are you taking care of yourself? Eating and sleeping okay?"

"Yeah, Dean makes sure that I do that," Sam smiled at Dean.

"Well, call me if you need to."

"Same here," Sam hung up the phone. "Should we have called Dad earlier in the week?" he asked Dean.

Dean shrugged. "It seems to strike him differently each year. Sometimes it starts days before, other times it is the day of. The drinking is just a given, though."

Sam nodded. "At least he has Bobby to help him. We have to be thankful for that."

"Yeah."

***

"Want me to come with?" Dean asked as they sat in the silence of the Impala.

"I think I should go alone," Sam seemed unsure.

"I'll walk you partway," Dean compromised. "I just want you to remember that I am here."

"I'm just so conflicted."

"Then, tell her that," Dean tried to be helpful. "Tell her all the things that have been bothering you. Maybe getting it out will make it better."

Sam nodded. He got out of the car and Dean followed.

Dean took Sam's hand as they walked, and Sam wiggled his hand loose. "Just not here," Sam's voice was sad.

Dean just rolled with it and put his hands in his jacket pockets.

They walked until they found Jessica's grave. Then, Dean walked a little way towards the car, giving Sam the privacy that he needed.

Dean's heart was breaking as he watched Sam talking into the wind. He couldn't hear the words, but he knew Sam was hurting. All he could do was watch and be there.

Sam started to sway. Dean was trying to figure out if Sam was just fidgeting or not when Sam crumpled right there.

"Sam!" Dean sprinted to his brother and knelt down by him. He couldn't see any injuries at first glance. "Sam, Sam, you have to talk to me!"

Dean checked Sam's pulse and breathing, which were fine. Dean's heartbeat slowed a tiny bit.

"Sammy," Dean pushed Sam's hair back and started to run his fingers through it, checking for a lump.

Slowly, Sam's eyes fluttered open. "Dean?"

"Sammy, what happened?"

"I don't know. I was just talking to Jessica and now I'm talking to you."

"Did you eat enough breakfast this morning?"

"Yeah."

"Were you locking your knees?" Dean was guessing.

"I might have. You think I fainted?" Sam asked him. "Come on, Dean. I'm not like that."

"Okay. Can you just finish talking to Jessica while sitting here?"

"Why?"

"It's either that or I'm standing next to you. You decide."

Sam stayed seated and Dean took a few steps back. When Sam stood up, Dean was right there.

"Do you feel any better?" Dean asked as he carefully watched Sam for any sign that he was going to topple over.

Sam shrugged. "I don't feel as guilty as I did before. I don't know if that counts as feeling better, though."

"It's a start," Dean replied. "You have to start somewhere. You feeling light headed or anything like that?"

"No," Sam's face turned red. "Sorry about that."

"This is me, remember? No need to feel sorry."

They got into the Impala and Sam couldn't hold it back anymore. It was the familiar scent and feel of the car, and having Dean in the driver's seat that made him break into tears.

"Come here, Sammy," Dean's voice was gentle as he held out an arm so Sam could get close to him.

Sam moved across the seat and laid his head on Dean's shoulder as his resolve not to cry was shattered.

Dean just held him, and listened to the words that Sam said between sobs. Dean knew he was doing all that he could. It still didn't feel like he was doing enough.

Bobby grabbed the aspirin and a glass of water before heading into their bedroom. It had been some times since the last time he heard John retching, so he thought it would be a good time to get hid of the pounding headache that John had to have. He sat on the edge of the bed and ran his fingers through John's hair.

"Wake up, John," his gruff voice caused John to stir but he had a hard time with opening his eyes.

"Bobby?" he asked, eyes still closed. "My head."

"I know," Bobby helped him sit up. "I brought you some aspirin. Take this glass of water. Open your mouth."

Bobby placed the pills in John's mouth so he'd just have to take a drink. When John was done, he handed the glass back to Bobby, who set it on the night stand.

"The boys called to see how you were doing."

"Oh, God," John rubbed his eyes and cracked them open just a little. "I forgot about Jessica. I wonder how Sam is."

"I talked to him, and he's doing okay. He's eating and sleeping. Dean's taking care of him."

"I should have remembered," John's tears started again.

Bobby pulled him into his arms. "Shh, honey. It's alright. Sam and Dean are doing okay. They were worried about you."

"I miss Mary," John's voice was ragged.

"I know," Bobby rubbed John's back as he soaked Bobby's shirt.

"I'm sorry, Bobby."

"Sorry for what?"

"Missing her when I'm with you," his voice was gone except for the sobs.

"You're allowed to miss Mary. I know you miss her, even when you don't tell me. Sometimes I just see it in your eyes. I doesn't bother me because I know you love me, too. You have a generous heart, Johnny Boy. Hard to get to at first, but always full of love."

When John's sobs slowed down, Bobby kissed his forehead. "I love you. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Stay with me for awhile?" John looked at him with his tear-streaked face.

Bobby brushed the tears away, "Of course."

John laid back down, waiting for the aspirin to take some of the physical pain away. Bobby curled up behind him and held him close.

"I love you," John whispered quietly.

"I know you do," Bobby kissed the back of his neck. "I'm not going anywhere. Your grief over Mary isn't going to push me away. I'll still be here."

Comforted and soothed at those words, John fell into a troubled sleep. He dreamed of fires, demons, Mary and the boys. It was a confusing jumble that didn't make any sense.

***

"Did you say the boys called?"

"Yeah," Bobby stretched, still sleepy.

"When?"

"Early this morning. They understood why you couldn't come to the phone."

"I wish I handled it better," John told Bobby. "I wish I could get over her and be strong enough to help my boys through this."

"Do you honestly think it would be better if the boys saw you not caring about their mother's passage? It would make it seem like you never loved her. It would wreck them."

"How can you still love me after you've gotten me through the anniversary of Mary's death so many times?" John asked.

"Love is through thick and thin, you know that. We'll have our tough spots but they'll be outnumbered by the good ones."

"You think so?" John sounded hopeful.

"I know so," Bobby gently kissed him. "Come here. Let me love you. I'm not Mary, but I still love you."

John moved closer. Bobby moved his hands and lips slowly and gently. He was loving John in the most tender way he knew how because he felt that John was fragile.

"I want . . " John didn't finish his sentence.

Bobby looked into his eyes and knew what he wanted. "John, I don't know. I've never . . ."

"I was Mary's first. I can be yours, too. I'm not trying to have you take her place. I just want to feel that closer connection from being inside each other," John saw the unsure look on Bobby's face. "I don't mean that I need to be in you tonight or have you in me. Just fingers would be a good first step. I'd never hurt you, Bobby."

"I know that."

"I'm committed to you and it will only ever be you," John placed a hand on Bobby's face. "Do you need us to have some kind of ceremony first?"

"No," Bobby blushed. "I trust you. We can. It's okay."

"Just say the word and I'll stop."

Bobby kissed John and then looked him in the eyes and nodded. He knew John would always stop. He would always be safe with John.

John grabbed a tube from the nightstand and he could see the tension in Bobby's face.

"You need to relax, Bobby," John smiled down at him from his place between Bobby's legs. "It's a strange feeling at first, but it ends up feeling so good."

Bobby took a deep breath.

"That's my Bobby," John found Bobby's entrance. He placed his fingertip just in the opening and carefully watched Bobby's face for any sign of pain. "I'm not going to move further until your body lets me. You're setting the pace."

Bobby's expression loss some of the tension and John was able to slip a little further in. The outer ring of muscle clenched down on John's finger.

"That's normal," John spoke softly. "You're just adapting to the intrusion."

Bobby wasn't sure about the sensations he was feeling. It was new and seemed so boggled.

When the clenching turned to spasms, John pushed in further and Bobby moaned.

"You doing okay?" John asked.

Bobby nodded.

Slowly, John was able to work up to sliding his finger in and out. While Bobby was lost in what he was feeling, John stroked the bundle of nerves that he knew how to find.

Bobby gasped and John gave him a grin, "Like that?"

Bobby nodded. John repeated the action. He stroked Bobby's shaft in time with his finger. Bobby was clutching the sheets.

John was pleased with the flushed look on Bobby's face as waves of pleasure overtook him.

"J-o-h-n," was all Bobby could verbalize as he sunk back into bed.

"I love you, Bobby," John laid down beside him. "All I needed was the first step toward us getting closer. You let me know when you want to try next time."

Bobby was still trying to catch his breath as he snuggled into John and fell asleep.

Dean walked into the bedroom to check on Sam. He wasn't asleep. He was staring a the ceiling.

"Don't tell me we have a new leak or crack," Dean whined. "Home improvements and repairs are driving me nuts."

"You thought home ownership would be like 'The Jetsons'?" Sam smiled.

"I could handle that."

"You'd have a space car that looks like everyone else's, Dean. No Impala."

"I'd rather deal with home repair," Dean laid down by Sam and looked at the ceiling. "What are we looking at?"

"Hey, I'm just thinking," Sam chuckled. "I have no idea what the hell you're looking at. What made your first think about home repairs, anyway?"

"I watched 'The Money Pit' while you were sleeping. So what are you thinking about?"

"Life. How it just keeps moving on."

"That's the general idea," Dean agreed. "What made you so upset at Jessica's grave besides how much you miss her?"

"Why?"

"Because you fainted, that's why. You were locking your knees and you know better than that. You were so upset at that point that you didn't realize what you were doing with your knees. What's up?"

"I worry about what Jessica must think of me now."

"You mean what she'd think of our relationship, right?"

Sam nodded.

"She's probably glad that you found someone to love who loves you back."

"But how can I know for sure?" Sam's struggle can through in his voice.

"Love is unconditional. No matter how long you were with Jessica or how long she's been gone, her love for you won't change. Love doesn't work that way."

Sam rolled over to face Dean, "Do you really believe it?"

"Yes, I do. I know I had many flings, Sam. They weren't love. I found out about love because I craved it. I lived without it, romantically at least, and became to learn what love was not. I heard Dad talk about Mom and got an idea of what love was. I wasn't able to put it all together until that night in the motel when you confessed your feelings for me. That's how I know what love is."

"You are a smart man, Dean. Much smarter than most people give you credit for."

"That's because I act so cool," Dean smirked. "Smart and cool don't make a good image. So, I'm going with cool. For now at least."

“You’ll always be cool to me,” Sam smiled and took Dean’s mouth with his.

Dean’s hands moved up to Sam’s hair, running his fingers through and urging Sam closer. Dean flicked his tongue across Sam’s lips and Sam parted them to allow Dean in. Dean rolled Sam over so that Dean laid atop Sam.

“Damn right I’ll always be cool,” Dean smiled. He worked his hands under Sam’s shirt, pulling it off and over Sam’s head. Sam threw the shirt aside and worked on the buttons of Dean’s shirt as he devoured Dean with open mouth kisses.

***

“How are you doing, Dean?” Sam asked when they were relaxed in the afterglow of their activities. “I’m sorry that I forgot to ask you earlier today.”

“I’m okay.”

“Thinking about Mom?”

“I think of her sometimes on days that aren’t necessarily today. Little things will remind me of her.”

“Like what?” Sam propped himself up on his elbow, wanting to make sure he heard every word Dean said.

“A light breeze in the sunshine that hits my face just right. A smell of home. Other things, too.”

“Why?”

“I remember being outside with her, her sundress in the breeze. I think we were just in the yard. All I really recall is her sundress, the breeze and the sunshine. Certain cleaners that she used and beauty products like soap, shampoo. Just scents that I associate with Mom, I don’t really know why.”

“Are you sad when you remember her?”

“No. It’s an uplifting feeling. Then, I remember that she’s gone and I feel numb,” Dean tried to explain.

“I wish I had memories of her,” Sam said softly.

“I do, too, Sammy,” he caressed Sam’s cheek. “Today wasn’t easy, but that was mostly because I was worried about you. Missing Mom is just always there. I get pissed at Old Yellow Eyes on the date she died, but that happens at other times, too.”

“At least we have each other,” Sam placed his cheek on Dean’s chest and his hand over Dean’s heart.

“We’ll always have that, Sammy. We’re going to be fine,” Dean played with Sam’s hair.

“Think Dad will ever feel better about Mom?”

“I think he’ll always love her and miss her. But, Bobby loves him and I’m sure Dad returns those feelings. Bobby takes good care Dad, just like he would take care of us. Today, Dad just needed extra care. He’ll probably be back to normal in a couple days, but I don’t think he is going to get over the rough patch each year.”

“Hmm. I’m glad he has Bobby, Dean. Even after I found out about their relationship, I was still happy that they had each other.”

“Me too, Sammy. Me, too,” Dean’s voice was soft as he drifted off to sleep.

Sam fell asleep to the sound of Dean’s heart and how it felt under his palm.

Thanksgiving came and went. Drew came over to watch the game, but they didn't have anything special to eat besides pumpkin pie. Dean had insisted on pie.

Drew had become quite a regular at their house. He came over for studying but sometimes he just came over to hang out. He lived in the dorms and it was just too busy around there. He liked the peace at Sam and Dean's.

The rooms in the basement were coming together with less stress with Drew's help. He knew his way around tools and liked helping out.

Still no time for a girlfriend in Drew's world, though. Dean had to tease him about it sometimes. Drew was confident that there would be plenty of time for girls after he graduated. After hearing some of the guys at the dorm complain about their relationships, he wasn't eager to put himself through that kind of misery.

Christmas Break included Dean getting a bad flu. He missed three days of work. Sam spent the time pumping fluids into Dean along with Tylenol.

Sam took a basin of cool water and a washcloth and wiped Dean down. Dean said he felt icky, feverish and sweaty.

Dean, in his usual style insisted that he could take a shower. "Sammy, I'm not an invalid. I can take a shower."

Sam humored him the next time Dean went into the bathroom to relieve himself. Sam stood at the door and didn't readily offer any assistance. Dean was clutching the vanity as he washed his hands. Sam's didn't move toward him until Dean said, "Ah, Sammy? Could use some help here."

"You're not getting into the shower right now?" Sam tried to act like he was surprised.

"Just get over here," Dean was more frustrated with himself than anything.

"Maybe tomorrow, Dean," Sam took Dean's arm and put an arm around his waist as he led him back to bed.

"You just want someone to fuss over," Dean got crabby when he was sick.

"Not when you bite my head off," Sam replied.

After Dean was comfortable, he apologized, "I don't mean to, I just feel like crap."

"I know," Sam tucked him in. "Do you need anything?"

"Some company?"

"Okay," Sam got into bed and Dean laid his head on Sam's shoulder. As Dean rested, Sam ran his fingers through Dean's short hair and rubbed his back. Before he knew it, Sam as asleep, too.

***

On Christmas Day, Sam and Dean had their hot chocolate with candy canes. It had been just over one year since Sam had been attacked. Sam didn't bring it up and it didn't seem to affect him that it had been a year. He'd been recovering and healing over that year's time. Between he and Dean, they dealt with what they could and learned to live with the rest.

"Merry Christmas, Bobby," Sam greeted him over the phone. "Did you remember hot chocolate and candy canes for Christmas?"

"Of course. After I forgot last year, you dad didn't let me live it down. This year I made sure we had it. How are you and Dean faring out there?"

"We're doing good. Dean's over his flu but still a little weak."

"I am not weak, Bobby! Sam is making it up!" Dean called from the background.

"I bet Dean was an awful patient, as usual."

"Yeah. That's par for the course with Dean."

"Do you want to talk to John? He's right here."

"Sure," Sam switched ears, "Merry Christmas, Dad."

"Merry Christmas, Sam. How did finals go?"

"I think I did the best I could. Drew and I studied like madmen. I doubt there is much more we could have done."

"As long as you did your best," John replied. "No one can expect more than that."

"I hope my grades reflect that sentiment. Did you want to talk to Dean?"

"Sure, put him on."

Sam handed the phone to Dean.

"Merry Christmas, Dad," Dean had a jolly tone to his voice.

"Merry Christmas, Dean. Are you feeling better?"

"I'm back to being me, even though Sam insists I need to take it easy before I head back to work tomorrow."

"You're not going to want to hear this, but you should listen to Sam."

Dean shook his head even though his dad couldn't see. "I'm fine, really."

"Just chill out today and tomorrow will go better at the garage."

"Yes, sir."

"Are you planning a trip out here anytime soon, Dean?"

"Possibly for spring break, otherwise over the summer like last year."

"Do you have any room for company at your house?"

"We're working on building a guest room in the basement. It's pretty far from done, though."

"Bobby and I could help you with you that," John offered. "Just let us know."

"Will do. Tell Bobby 'Merry Christmas' for me, okay?"

"Yep. I love you boys."

"We love you, too, Dad."

***

Sam and Dean lounged on the couch, sipping their hot chocolate and eating candy canes. They flipped through the channels, happy that they had a VCR this year so they could watch their movies. A black and white horrorfest for Christmas Day. Typical Winchester holiday.

Sam felt Dean's forehead and it was still a little warm. "Want some Tylenol?" Sam asked.

"Just want to rest with you," Dean replied as he squirmed closer to Sam and brought a blanket with him.

Sam allowed Dean to get comfortable and then draped one of his arms around him. Sam grabbed the blanket and covered them up. Dean was snoring before the second movie was over. He only snored when he was exhausted, sick or both.

Sam finished watching the movie. Then, he clicked the TV off, closed his eyes, and took a long, peaceful nap.

***

“What did you think of our Christmas?” Dean asked as he walked in the kitchen.

Sam stood at the sink doing dishes. “Better than last year, but I think we could still improve on it.”

‘Horrorfest was better than making fun of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’?”

“Yep.”

‘Should we make plans for New Year’s?”

“Do you want to have some friends over?” Sam asked in return. “I think Drew would come. How about some of the guys from the garage?”

“There’s a couple I could ask, but I don’t know if they have figured it out about you and me yet.”

“You think they missed all those goodbye and hello kisses in the car when I dropped you off at work?”

Dean shrugged. “No one ever said anything. So, I’m not sure.”

“You could tell them that he party is at the house you share with your boyfriend. That would invite them to the party and still let them know that you have me. Do you want people at work to know?”

“It would be easier not to have to hide it.”

“It’s up to you, Dean. I’m sure Drew would come.”

***

Dean invited everyone at work to their house, most of them already had plans.

Drew came over early on New Year's Eve to help make snacks and sloppy joes. Before the rest arrived, they had it all set out and ready for company.

Mr. Steven brought his wife. Dean found out during a conversation with Mr. Steven that his brother was gay. Most of the mechanics that worked for him had met his brother when he's stopped by, and were accepting of his sexual preference. Mr. Steven didn't think Dean would catch much slack at work for having a boyfriend. If he did, he was just to tell Mr. Steven and he'd handle it. He was disgusted with how some fellow employees had treated his brother and their boss had done nothing to step in. He was determined that the same kind of harassment would never happen in his garage.

Luke brought his wife. They found a babysitter at the last minute for their three kids and were happy to be out of the house. Unbeknownst to Dean or Sam, his wife had to convince him that being gay wasn't catchy, and she'd love him all the more for accepting folks with alternative lifestyles.

Michael came by himself. He was glad to have a place to go besides his house. He lived alone and sometimes craved company. Besides, he thought Dean was a good guy, gay or not.

Travis and Justin walked in together because Travis tended to like to drink and Justin was his designated driver. They were light-hearted, fun guys. They got a kick out of Drew, with his serious education.

After the ball dropped, the party dwindled down slowly until it was just Sam and Dean. Drew had offered to stay and help clean up, but Sam sent him home and told him he'd done enough helping set up for the shindig.

"I think we did pretty good," Sam told Dean as they tidied up. "Your friends from work are nice. Mr. Steven and his wife are a great couple. He sounds like a good guy to work for."

"He is," Dean took another drink of beer. "He actually cares about his employees. Most don't."

“The other guys are so like you. Drinking beer and working on cars,” Sam laughed.

“Are you saying I have competition?”

“Of course not. I just like that you get to work with guys with similar hobbies. Do you talk much to each other?”

“Sometimes I have a little to say in the break room over lunch, but mostly I just listen,” Dean finished and set the bottle down. “They are nice guys. It seems odd to feel like I fit in there.”

“Only in our family would it be odd to fit in,” Sam shook his head. “I’m glad you have been able to make friends here, Dean.”

“Drew is the only one I really know and he is your friend.”

“He’s your friend, too. You know he’d ask you if he had questions about girls, he just wouldn’t ask around me. I told him that it upsets me.”

“Why is that, Sammy? You know I only love you from here on out.”

“I know. Maybe it’s being jealous or insecure. I know it doesn’t make sense.”

“Well, if Drew ever brings it up I’ll make sure we have our conversation where your tender ears can’t hear. Can’t have my past adventures corrupting my sweet Sammy,” Dean put his arms around him. “I wouldn’t change you for anything.”

Sam put his arms around Dean’s neck. “That’s all I needed to hear to make me love you even more.”

“Sammy, you can be such a sap,” Dean’s smile didn’t contain any chiding, only love.

“I’m your sap, Dean,” Sammy kissed him in the kitchen. “Always.” He took Dean’s hand and led him down the hall.