Supernatural Fiction & Art

Dean pulled the Impala into the campus parking lot closest to Sam's first class. "You have everything you need in your bag?" Sam nodded. "Ring?" Sam showed him Dean's ring on his finger. "Cell phone?" Sam patted his pocket. "Okay, I charged both of them last night, so I know we'll be good for today. Do you have money in case you need to eat before I get back here?"

"I have some money, Dean," Sam said. "Are we done with the checklist yet? You're making me nervous."

"Yeah. All except one," Dean replied as he gave Sam a kiss. "Have a nice day at school. Call me if you need to."

"Thanks, Dean. Good luck job hunting."

Dean just nodded. Sam closed the door and walked off to his first class. Dean stayed in the parking lot until he
couldn't see Sam anymore. Then he started his baby up and roared down the road to the first garage on his list.

***

Sam looked at the ground as he walked to class. He'd learned that it was a way to avoid talking to people. He as going to need to avoid as many people as possible today.

"Hey, Sam," Drew tapped Sam's shoulder. "I'm happy to see you're back. Were you able to figure out the notes?"

"Yeah, I did. Thanks, Drew."

"If you end up cornered on campus, the fire is still big news, just call and I'll try to get you out of there," Drew said. "I'll even pick up some of my friends to help on my way over."

Sam smiled at the thought of tiny Drew coming to his rescue. But, Drew was right. He could end up cornered, and Drew and his friends might have to come get him out. "I'll keep that in mind," Sam waved to Drew as they parted ways.

Sam's classes were fine. It was the periods in between when he was just relaxing or studying somewhere that people found him. Once when he was trying to study, a group of about 5 girls came over to tell him how sorry they were about Jess. Sam was able to tell them thanks but that he wasn't up to talking today. The girls nodded, a few smiled, and one actually tried to hit on him and gave him her number. Sam shook his head and went back to his books.

Sam was relaxing on a bench when two other girls came up to him. They had been crying over Jess, and Sam found that he couldn't just turn them away. He listened to their stories and memories of Jessica as his own tears started to fall. When all was said and done, he gave them each a hug and they went on their way. Sam felt a little better about Jess after hearing those stories and memories and getting teary with others who were crying. Maybe it was just a matter of being able to tell when he could handle it and when he couldn't.

Sam's cell rang. "Hello."

"Hey, Sam," Dean sounded cheerful. "How's school going?"

"Classes are okay, I just realize how much I missed last week. I've had to turn one group of girls away and say that I wasn't up to talking. But, when two showed up, both in tears, I listened to their stories and memories and gave them hugs before they moved on. I think that was the right thing to do."

"Only you know what you need to do," Dean replied. "I've got a job. It was the first garage I went to. I start tomorrow."

"That's great! So what else is on your agenda today?"

"I'll bring the papers to the realtor and see when we can close," Sam could hear Dean shuffling papers. "When does your last class get out?"

"Four."

"Is there a place you can wait for me by the parking lot I dropped you off at?"

"Yeah. There's a bench nearby."

"Okay," Dean was planning in his head. "Wait on the bench and I'll call you when I get into the parking lot. That way we can make a quick escape. I hate school."

"You'll be used to it after driving me here each day," Sam smiled and Dean could hear it through the phone.

"Maybe, maybe not. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Yep. Bye."

"Bye."

***

Back at the motel, they ate the pizza they had picked up on the way home. "So school went good?" Dean asked with his mouth full.

Sam swallowed. "I was surprised at how well it went. Tell me about this new job of yours and the house."

"I had to get uniforms, which you know I hate. They'll have my name on the shirt. I wanted them to put something cool on it, but all is get is 'Dean'. Very generic." Dean took a bite and had to chew at least a little bit so that he wouldn't choke. "As far as the house goes, we close on Friday. We'll keep the room here until Saturday morning, just in case."

"Wow. That was quick," Sam grabbed another slice. "So tell me about your boss and this garage."

"Boss seems cool. His last name is too hard to pronounce so he goes by 'Mr. Steven' instead. The garage is pretty clean, by a garage's standards at least. It seems to be very organized and the employees are friendly. It's all guys except for the ladies in billing and reception."

"Do they play music?"

"Nope," Dean shook his head. "That's the part that might kill me, going all day without my tunes."

Sam laughed. "As long as you work with good people and you like what you do, it will be worth it."

"I brought home some papers that I have to get filled out and bring back tomorrow. Can you help me with them?" Dean asked.

"Sure," Sam replied. "Let's just finish with the pizza first so we can get the greasy mess off the table first."

Once it was all cleaned up, Dean grabbed his papers. Most of them were simple ones. One was for health insurance. 'Domestic Partner' was one of the choices for coverage.

"This is why I needed you to look at this," Dean pointed to those words. "Domestic partners are those couples that can't get married, right? Do we qualify as domestic partners?"

"I don't know, Dean. Do you really want to put on a legal form that you're gay?"

"Dude! I am not gay!"

"You being in love with me makes you gay, even if you wouldn't dream of dating another guy."

Dean frowned. "Is their some kind of confidentiality for these forms?"

"I'm sure there is," Sam answered him, "but it could still get out."

"It could get out when someone sees me kiss you goodbye," Dean said. "A stupid paper isn't going to matter."

Dean thought for a moment. "Are you serious about our relationship, Sam? Do you plan on leaving or staying?"
"I'm serious about our relationship, I just like taking things slow. And, no. I do not plan on leaving you. Do you plan on leaving me?"

"No," Dean scribbled something on the insurance form. "I guess that means we are domestic partners."

"We'll need Bobby to forge some more documents," Sam said. "They can't find out that we are brothers."

"I'll call Bobby and let him know," Dean sounded like it was nothing.

"Dean, that will mean telling Bobby that we have a relationship that is more than brothers."

"I'm fine with that," Dean replied. "He's got a relationship with Dad that is more than just friends."

Sam's mouth dropped open. "They what?"

"Well, they were more careful when you were around. I just caught hints of a deeper relationship here and there. Then, you have the fact that they have both been single for as long as we can remember. It could just be a very close friendship," Dean told him, "But some of what I was picking up on was more couple-like."

"How long have you known?"

"I don't know. A few years."

"Before or after I left for college?" Sam asked.

"Before," Dean had to put some thought into it. "It didn't seem like that big of a deal to me, so I didn't mention it. I didn't want you to flip out or anything. They just find comfort in each other. That isn't so bad, as long as they genuinely care about one another."

"I'm not judging them, Dean. Heaven knows I'm in no place to do that. I'm just surprised is all."

"Well, now you know. So, you see that calling Bobby won't be a problem?"

"Yeah. I think it would be easier to fake your past, Dean. If you grew up as a ward of the state and then took my name when you met me. He'd have to make the documents for the name change, too."

Dean just nodded. He opened his phone and called Bobby. "Hey, Bobby. Yeah, we're doing good. Sam had an uneventful day at school, I found a job and we found a house that we can move into this weekend. Now, I need you to make some documents regarding my past. I want you to have me growing up as a ward of the state and then change my name as of a year ago to Winchester. Well, Sam and I have started to have a romantic relationship and I'm getting Sam covered under my health insurance for being my domestic partner. I know about you and Dad, Bobby. I'm not telling anyone. I just need you to make the papers and not tell Dad. It will be hell when we tell him, but we should still be the ones to do it. Okay, thanks, Bobby. We'll call Dad a little later tonight and fill him in on our good day. Bye."

"And?" Sam asked, anxious about what Bobby had said.

"He'll make the necessary papers, and he figured we knew about him and Dad. It's still a big deal to Dad, though. So I told him I didn't tell anyone--that includes you, Sam. We're supposed to call Dad later tonight to let him know how your first day back went."

***

Bobby hung up the phone. It had knocked the wind out of him when Dean told him what documents he needed. Maybe he shouldn't have been so surprised because the boys were very close. The fact that Dean had figured out the relationship between him and John didn't bother Bobby that much. It would be huge to John, though. He wanted his boys to think of him as that tough marine who has pined for his late wife all these years. Staying true to her memory and all that. He still wanted to be their hero. It was going to crush him when they found out that he was actually human.

Luckily, John was out for a walk when Dean called Bobby. Bobby was able to get to work on the documents before John got back. Dean promised they'd call John and let him know how Sam did at school. Dean would follow through and John would be much less worried tonight. Maybe Bobby would even be able to get some sleep.

***
John flipped his phone open. "Hello."

"Hi, Dad," Sam's voice sounded so good to John.

"Sam! How are you doing? How did school go?"

"I'm getting better, Dad. My classes went okay, I just missed quite a bit last week. I had some girls come up to me and want to talk about Jess. One group I was able to deflect by saying that I wasn't up to talking. The other two girls were in tears when they approached me. They told me about their memories of Jess, and I teared up, too. I felt a little better after we had talked. I gave them hugs before they went on their way. How could I be okay with sending one group away and listening to another?"

"It depends on what they are like and what you are needing," John tried to explain. "Sometimes we need to be with people who understand us. Other times, we don't want to admit that that part of our lives exists. It is a coping mechanism. Just do what feels right to you."

"You know that group I turned away? One of the girls passed me her phone number with a huge smile before they walked off. I think she was flirting with me."

"Yeah, she made that pretty clear," John laughed. "She must have been waiting for you and Jessica to break up or something. Once that something came around, she was definitely ready to throw her hat in the ring for you.
That's my boy!"

Sam laughed. "Oh, Dean has some great news for you, too. I'll pass him the phone."

"Hey, Dad! Guess what? We have a house!"

"A house? Dean, how did you manage that?"

"I had a little help from Bobby. I also got a job at a garage. I start tomorrow."

"I'm proud of you, Dean. When Sam needed you, you went all out. I feel better knowing that the two of you are out there together."

"Yeah, we're happy about it, too."

"Keep up on hunting, though. Don't forget everything you worked so hard to memorize and learn."

"We won't forget, Dad. How are you doing?"

"I'm good," John replied. "Much better now that I know you boys are alright."

"You know we're always going to be okay. You taught us how to survive, Dad. Does that mean you doubt your ability to teach us to survive?"

"No," John laughed. "I doubt your ability to keep your mind off of girls long enough to get what I was trying to say. And, I doubt Sam's ability to quit reading the damn book in his hands long enough to get it. I have no doubts in how I taught you. I have doubts about how well you listened."

"That makes sense. Well, I have to get going. We'll keep you updated on how we are."

"Thanks, Dean."

"Bye, Dad."

"So, Dad and Bobby," Sam whispered in the dark. "It sure makes me look at all of our time spent there differently."

"Why? Bobby loved having us around. He wasn't just doing it for Dad."

"I suppose," Sam chewed his lower lip. "How do we tell Dad about us?"

"When we're more solid as an 'us', we'll figure out a way. Don't let it bother you right now, Sam."

Sam was lying on his side, moving his fingertips across Dean's bare chest. Dean had one arm behind his head and his other hand was rubbing the arm Sam was leaning on.

"I brought this all up, Dean. If I wouldn't have admitted my feelings for you--"

"We still would have figured it out eventually," Dean told him. "We're not that clueless. We just saved ourselves some time and heartbreak by hooking up now."

"Hooking up? Is that what we're doing?" Sam sounded nervous.

There was a short period of silence that almost killed Sam.

"No," Dean whispered. "No, we're not."

Sam felt better that Dean didn't see it as a hook up, but it still bothered him that Dean hadn't put a label on it. "What are we doing, Dean?"

"I don't know, Sam. This is all new to me, too," Dean just thought for a little bit. "We're loving each other. I'd say we're lovers but that sounds so lame. What do you think we are?"

"Lovers . . " Sam was also at a loss to describe their relationship. He shrugged. "I don't know."

"Why worry about labels," Dean played with Sam's hair. "We should just enjoy what we have. Not many people find it."

"I thought I'd found it once," Sam admitted, "but, I was wrong. Did you ever think you'd found this?"

"Once," Dean's eyes had a far away look to them. "I was wrong, though."

"You okay, Dean?" Sam felt he needed to ask but he wanted to make sure that he didn't make Dean turn away from him like the other night.

"I'm fine," Dean's eyes still had a strange look to them. He pulled Sam closer to him and kissed him gently. "I'm with the one that I love." Dean brushed back Sam's hair and Sam could see the deep emotion, deep inside Dean's eyes.

"So am I," Sam replied and Dean found security and comfort in Sam's stare.

***

Days got slightly better for Sam at school. Less people came around to talk about Jess. He was able to concentrate on his studies more. He was still having nightmares at night, so Dean wasn't getting a full night's sleep before going to work. Sam still panicked at times during the day. He was usually able to take a deep breath, close his eyes, twist Dean's ring around his finger, and calm down. When it didn't work, Sam would need to leave the room or class and get to someplace private. He would take Dean's leather jacket out and bury his nose in it. The smell of the leather and the feel of it against his cheek would calm him down. He just needed time with the item that was so totally Dean to set his world right again.

Dean was slowly adjusting to having a regular job. He didn't like being told what to do, so he had to bite his tongue a few times. He was nice to the ladies in the office and respectful to lady customers. He had no problem explaining what he was fixing or why. He'd bring them back to show them the problem with their car if they didn't understand. He had a feeling that some mechanics, not any that he worked with but others, created imagined problems that needed to be fixed. He wanted to make sure that he was honest and upfront.

Sack lunches weren't that exciting, but it was nice to sit with the guys. They had a radio going in the break room and it was an easy going atmosphere. For Dean, who had never had the chance to have friends growing up, it was a new and amusing experience.

***

Friday came and Dean signed the papers for the house. He picked Sam up after class. "Did the closing go through?" Sam asked before he got his door shut. As a response, Dean handed Sam a key. Sam closed his hand around the key and looked at Dean expectantly.

"Let's go home," Dean smiled at Sam as he started up the Impala.

Sam smiled so much, Dean thought his face might break. "For real?"

"I've already grabbed what we had at motel, Sam. We don't have to spend another night in a motel unless we want to," Dean turned towards Sam.

All of Sam came flying across the seat at Dean. Luckily, Dean grabbed Sam before he headed out the open window. Dean hugged Sam back, knowing what the word 'home' meant to them.

They parked in the driveway and up to the front door. Dean unlocked he door and swung it open wide. Sam stepped in first and looked around. "I can't believe it, Dean. We're home!"

"A home without any furniture," Dean put his keys on the table, "but still a home."

"Should we go buy what we need?" Sam asked.

"Well, I put some food in the cupboard, a mattress on the floor of the bedroom, and bought us some toilet paper. Is there anything else you can't do without until tomorrow?"

"Guess not," Sam replied. "Can you survive without television?"

"I figured we could go to second hand shops tomorrow," Dean told him. "I got the mattress new on payment plans. I thought a new home deserved a new bed."

"Wow. We haven't had a bed of our own since the bunk beds at Bobby's."

"Yeah," Dean laughed, "but your feet won't hang off the end of this one."

Sam gave Dean a playful shove. "Hey, take your shoes off, Dean. We want to keep the carpets clean."

Dean rolled his eyes but didn't protest as he took off his boots. Sam quickly slipped his off and walked into the bedroom. Along with a mattress, Dean had purchased bedding and pillows. It was the only item in the room, but it didn't matter. Sam set his bag for school down in what would be his study. He noticed that his duffel was already on the floor of the closet and his bathroom items were put away.

"What are we going to do with all this room?" Sam asked.

"Make a home," Dean suggested, his hands shoved in his pockets.

Sam walked over to Dean and put his arms around him. "We have a home Dean. All we needed to put in this house was us." Sam couldn't see Dean's face because Dean had his forehead resting on Sam's shoulder. "Are you alright Dean?" Dean seemed to nod but still had his face buried. "We're going to be okay, Dean. We've found where we've belong."

They stood there in the bedroom like that for awhile. Letting the feeling of having a home sink in.

***

"Yeah, Dad, it's great," Sam tried to describe their house. "It's sort of small, but we like it. We feel at home here. You can't get that just anywhere."

"No, you can't," John agreed. "I think the last time I felt like I was at home was before he fire. A home brings security and roots to your life. I am so happy for you boys. I'll have to plan on visiting you so I can see this home of yours."

"We don't have any furniture yet, Dad," Sam was having to think fast. "How about you wait until we have it ready to show off?"

"You got it," John replied. "Tell Dean 'hi' from me. I'd better go. Bye, Sam."

"Bye, Dad," Sam clicked his phone shut and shook his head.

"What?" Dean asked from the living room floor.

"Dad says, 'hi' by the way," Sam informed him. "He also wants to visit us soon."

"What did you say?"

"I gave him the excuse of not having furniture yet and that we'd like to have the house done before he sees it."

"How long do you think we can stall him with that?"

"If we tell him you're working extra hours and I'm very busy with school, we might be able to stretch it out," Sam said hopefully.

Dean shrugged. "I guess we will see."

***

Sam walked from the bathroom and into the bedroom. Dean was already in bed, but the light was still on. Sam looked at the comforter that did not have orange, green or gold on it. The bed looked comfortable and it even matched. "Need anything or should I shut it off?" Sam asked Dean.

"I'm good," Dean replied. "Just waiting for you."

Sam shut off the light before Dean could seen him blush. He walked around to the far side of the bed because Dean had always slept close to the door. It was awkward to climb into bed with the mattress on the floor, especially for someone Sam's height. When he got in and was comfortable, Dean said, "We'll get used to it, Sam. We'll have the bed frame and a box spring one day. We just need to have some other things first."

"That's fine, Dean. You picked out a comfortable mattress and I like the bedding."

"The bedding was the saleswoman's doings," Dean replied. " I knew we needed the basics, she knew how to throw it together for me."

"Did you get her number?" Sam joked.

"Why could I need that that when I have you?" Dean said gently as he pulled Sam closer to him. "I already have what I want." Dean kissed Sam along his jaw and then on to the thin skin of his neck. Sam rolled his head to the side, giving Dean easy access. Dean moved some of Sam's long hair and started to lick and suck the back of his neck. Sam sighed. Dean continued and knew he was leaving a mark on Sam. Sam probably knew it, too.

Dean and Sam kissed breathlessly, murmuring each other's name. Tongues mingled with each other and kisses pushed up the temperature in their bedroom. Dean broke away and removed his t-shirt. Sam saw Dean's sweaty skin glisten in the moonlight as his muscles ripples to remove the shirt and toss it aside. While he was watching Dean, Sam sat up, removed his own shirt, and knelt on their bed in front of Dean. Dean's eyes slid over Sam's body, taking in all that Sam was. Then, Dean hungrily kissed Sam as his hands roamed over Sam's exposed skin. Sam's hands wandered all over Dean. He wanted to touch every muscle, memorize the body that was Dean's
Sam froze when one of Dean's fingers made its way under the waistband of his boxers. Dean's voice came from where he'd been paying attention to Sam's ear, "Sam?"

"I-" Sam choked on his words.

"I've seen you before, Sam. It's just me," Dean whispered but moved his hand up to the middle of Sam's back. "I just want to feel all of you lying beside me tonight, Sammy. Our first night in our home with nothing we have to hide."

"I need to feel you by me, too," Sam's voice was breaking. He moved a hand from Dean in an attempt to remove his boxers.

"Don't," Dean grabbed his hand. "Let me."

Sam moved his hands back to Dean's body and felt Dean's hands carefully slide to Sam's hips. Dean kissed Sam's shoulder and chest while he moved the boxers down as far as they'd go while kneeling on the bed. With his mission accomplished, Dean moved his mouth back to Sam's. "Thank you," Dean said between kisses.

Sam played with Dean's waistband for a little bit before moving them down. Sam moved his kisses to Dean's collarbone and sucked on the sensitive skin there. Dean's breathing got heavier as he knew what Sam was doing--marking him as Sam's. "Let's lie down," Sam whispered.

Long strokes covered the length of their bodies, covering the torso to the thighs. Facing each other, their hot breathing quickened with the sensation of their bodies pressed together.

They laid there, curled up and entwined with each other. Just enjoying what they had. Dean had something he had to get off his chest and he wasn't sure how to bring it up.

"Sammy?" Dean cleared his voice. "You awake?"

"Yeah," Sam sighed.

"I just--Before, the other night--" Dean stammered.

"Dean," Sam's voice was soft as he rubbed Dean's back. "Just take a breath and start again."

Dean took a couple of deep breaths while Sam just waited. "The person who hurt me . . . didn't just leave. .." Dean's voice faded.

"It is okay, Dean. You can tell me," Sam told him.

"I can't make the words come out right," Dean hid his face on Sam's shoulder and Sam could feel the tears.

"Just get the words out and we'll figure it out later, Dean." Sam tried to urge Dean on. Whatever was hurting him, was too deep for an easy explanation.

"She just . . .fixed it . ..," Dean started to sob and Sam heard the pain come out in one word, "baby."

Sam was starting to try to put it together as he rubbed Dean’s back and whispered in his ear as Dean cried. Sam wasn’t going anywhere, he didn’t feel the need to shush Dean. He knew the release from crying, from letting go of a secret hurt that he’d held so close, wasn’t going to be a quick process.

When the sobs ceased and Dean’s body was back to being mostly still, Dean said, “Sorry, Sam. You already had a shower tonight.”

“Like that matters,” Sam told him. “How are you feeling?”

“Exhausted. I’m getting a headache.”

“That happens,” Sam started to untangle their limbs so he could get out of bed. “You just rest. I’ll get you some aspirin.”

“Thanks,” Dean’s voice still sounded strange as he laid down on his pillow.

Sam flicked on the bathroom light and found the aspirin. He took them with a glass of water back to Dean. He knelt by Dean’s side of the bed. “Come on, Dean. Take these and you’ll feel better.”

Dean groaned but still sat up and took the pills. Sam took the glass back into the bathroom.

Sam crawled back into bed. Dean was lying on his back with a hand over his eyes. Sam leaned on an elbow and with his other hand, he ran his fingers through Dean’s short hair. “That feels good,” Dean sighed.

“I know,” Sam replied. “You’ve done the same when my head hurt.”

“I didn’t explain myself very well,” Dean admitted.

“No, you didn’t,” Sam agreed. “But you could tell me more about it now.”

Dean let out a big breath. “Are you sure you want to hear it?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Remember you said that.” Dean let out another big breath. “There was this girl and Dad and I were in town for about two months. About a week before we were supposed to leave, she told me that she was pregnant with my baby.” Dean paused. “I didn’t really say anything because I didn’t know what to say. The next day I went to her house and she wasn’t there. I’d kept my phone on. I would have answered if she would have called. I had just wanted to tell her in person that I wanted our baby. That’s when Dad and I came back late one night and there was a note taped to the motel door. All it said was: I fixed our problem. It’s gone.”

Sam stayed silent because he felt that there was more.

“She killed my baby, Sam. I didn’t act quick enough, and she made a rash decision all on her own. How can a mother kill their own baby?”

“I don’t know, Dean,” Sam was still processing all the information. “You didn’t abandon her or cut off communication. Maybe she was just scared.”

“Scared is no excuse,” Dean was angry. “I was scared, too. But, my baby . . . Did she hate me that much to have to have an abortion?”

“I don’t know, Dean,” Sam moved Dean’s arm away from his eyes. Dean opened his eyes and looked at Sam. “I will never hurt you on purpose, Dean. Whenever we get scared, we have each other.”

“But we’ll never have a baby,” Dean got tearful. “She took that away from me.”

“I’m sorry that she did that. Why did you tell me this tonight?”

“This is a new beginning for us, our own home. I didn’t want to be keeping secrets.” Dean paused. “I want to keep what we have open and honest. It’s like when you were lying bare against me, it was just you and yet all of you. I didn’t feel that you were hiding anything.”

“I’m not hiding anything, Dean. You just caught me off-guard with the boxers. I kind of panicked.”

“I noticed,” Dean said gently. “But you trusted me enough. That was part of the honesty deal, too.”

“Of course I trust you,” Sam told Dean. “This is just all new.”

“It’s new to me, too, Sammy.”

“Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be. We just feel our way along since neither of us has experience with this.”

“Do you think I’m pushing you?” Dean asked.

“No. I always have a choice. I just don’t think far ahead like you do.”

“I wasn’t actually thinking ahead,” Dean corrected him. “I was just going with the moment.”

“That sounds like good thing to do,” Sam agreed. “I’ll try to do that more often.”

“Don’t strain yourself, Sammy. You wouldn’t be yourself if you didn’t over-think some things.”

Sam smiled and kissed Dean tenderly. “I love you, you know.”

“Right back at ya,” Dean replied as he was once again covered with his Sammy blanket.

"Sammy!"

"What?" Sam yelled back, hating to stop studying. Finals were coming up.

"Come here," Dean yelled not quite as loud.

Sam left his books open and walked from his unfurnished study to the partially furnished living room. "What do you need?

"Sit a minute," Dean patted the second hand couch cushion next to him.

Sam shook his head a little but sat down by Dean anyway.

"We should be able to talk about anything, right?" Dean asked as he turned off the television.

"Yeah," Sam was both confused and worried about what Dean might say next.

"I have to ask you a question, then," Dean turned to face him. "Have you been masturbating since the fire?"

"What?" Sam's eyes bulged. "I am so not having his conversation with you, Dean." He stood up from the couch.

Dean stood, too. "Have you?"

"Why do you want to know?" Sam demanded.

"It has to do with our relationship, Sam."

"I don't have time for this. I'm going to go study." Sam stomped back to his study. He looked at his books but the letters didn't form words. He tried to look at his notes, but they just looked like scribbles. He rubbed his eyes, but they were still scribbles. Admitting defeat, he left the books and headed for the shower.

Dean was already in bed when Sam came out of the bathroom. Sam was quiet in case Dean was sleeping. He crawled into bed, whispered 'goodnight' to Dean just in case he was awake, and curled up away from Dean.
Dean, who was wide awake, noticed that Sam came to bed with a shirt and boxers on. That was his first clue that something was wrong. Sam sleeping like he was clutching the other side of the bed was just too much. Dean got out of bed and turned on the light.

"Dean? What are you doing?"

"Fixing a problem, Sam. We need to finish our talk."

"Why?"

"Am I important to you, Sam?"

"Yeah."

"Then why can't you just answer my question?" Dean was confused. How could a yes or no answer be so hard?

"Because of the light," Sam's face screwed up. "Just come back to bed and turn out the light."

Dean flicked the switch again and made his way into their bed. "I'm not liking all the extra clothes, either," Dean said. "But we can talk about that later."

"What does my private business have to do with us?" Sam asked.

"Because I am your business and you are mine." Dean stopped and then dropped the tone he'd had in it. "I enjoy our time together, Sammy. I really do. But, sometimes, just sometimes, I'd like to come by your hand."

Sam just let that sink in.

"Now will you answer my question?"

"You aren't very self-conscious, Dean, but I am. Ever notice how my clothes stay on in the light? Whenever we lie naked together, we're in the dark."

"Why is that, Sammy? You already know that I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Even when we have been naked beside each other, there's one part that you hide from me. If my wandering hands get anywhere close, you shift your position so that I'm nowhere near it."

"I don't know how it compares," Sam admitted. "I don't know what you'll think of it."

"I won't think anything about it, Sam. It's another part of you."

"I have been having solo activities," Sam told Dean. "Does that matter?"

"No. I just would like our solo activities to be something we do together." Dean tried to think of an example.

"With Jessica, did you have an active solo life?"

"No."

"So most of the action was with her, right?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you in a relationship with me and still clinging to an active solo life?"

"I don't know, Dean. I was worrying that you'd make fun of me."

"Why would I make fun of you?"

"I don't know, dimensions or speed," Sam turned red again. At least the lights weren't on.

"So, you don't last long? Big deal," Dean shrugged it off. "I'd rather that you didn't last long by me instead of by yourself. This is our home, Sam. Nothing has to be hidden. You don't have to slink off to another room to find release."

"I'm sorry, Dean."

"Don't be sorry, Sam. We're just figuring things out, remember? I would like you to lie by me tonight, though."

Sam took his shirt off and moved over toward Dean. "That's much better," Dean said as his arms moved around Sam. "Don't you feel better?"

"Yeah," Sam sighed. "I should still be studying."

"You can study tomorrow. Just get some sleep and it will make more sense."

Sam curled up beside Dean. He ran his hand gently over Dean's chest. His fingers traced over the muscles that ran from his chest to his stomach. He was taken off-guard when Dean's cock brushed against his arm. Dean sucked in air real quick.

"Just let me go, um, correct this, and I'll be right back," Dean started to sit up.

"Stay," Sam kissed him. "I want you to stay." Dean laid back. "I want to see what makes you feel good," Sam reached down and held Dean. He moved his hand slowly around the shaft and then moved up to catch the wetness that was leaking out. After spreading the moisture around, Sam was able to vary his movements. He watched how Dean responded or didn't respond, and changed his movements from there.

"Sammy," Dean blurted out when he'd found release. Sam smiled. "You didn't have to do that," Dean told Sam when he had his head on Sam's shoulder.

"I know. I wanted to," Sam replied. "I've wanted to do that for a long time."

"So you were just nervous about me touching you?" Sam nodded. "You don't need to be nervous around me, Sam."

"I know." Sam paused a minute. "Now I'd like you to-"

"You're okay with this now?"

"I've just worked up enough courage," Sam replied. "And I feel safe and comfortable in our room in the dark."

"Sammy," Dean whispered in his ear, "you have to get over wearing all these clothes to bed." He found Sam's waistband and moved them down as he kept whispering to Sam. "This is wonderful, Sammy. I want to feel all of the man that I love. I want to find the little things that get you off. I want to know that there is a possibility that I can bring you pleasure more often." He felt Sam's body stiffen. "I just want you, Sammy. All of you."

"Dean!" Sam called out just before he was lost in sensations that brought him over the edge.

Dean stroked just a little more before re-claimed Sam's mouth. Hungrily kissing Sam. Needing to know that Sam needed him just as bad. When they were out of breath, they slept. Clothes were no longer an issue in bed, and Dean didn't expect Sam to start stripping in daylight anytime soon.

Sam was able to finish his finals and he was confident that he did a good job. He'd studied hard and reaped the rewards for it. Studying hadn't been an easy thing to do with how his life had changed in the last few months. His relationship with Dean was much easier. There was nothing he had to hide and he knew Dean felt the same. Sam still had nightmares, and he thought Dean was having them, too. After Dean had told Sam about the baby, he'd started talking in his sleep. Sam only caught bits and pieces but he could hear the emotion in the words. He'd wake Dean up just like Dean did for him.

They were starting to feel settled in their home. Furniture still lacked, but Dean was going to be getting a Christmas bonus. They were going to find some household items over Sam's Christmas break.

***

"Look at this, John," Bobby said while he was reading the paper. He turned to the living room where John was cleaning his weapons. "I think I may have found a hunt for the boys."

John put down his weapon and looked at what Bobby had found. "Good going, Bobby. I'm gonna call them."
John stood with his hand on Bobby's shoulder as he dialed Sam's number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Sam. I've found a hunt for you and Dean."

"Really?"

"Are you on Christmas break yet?"

"Yep. I took my finals and I think I did okay. Dean's at work right now."

"Yeah, I figured as much. This looks like just a quick salt and burn in your area. Should Bobby just email the information to you?"

"Sure, I'll take a look at it."

"If you two decide not to go, let me know. Then, I'll go and I can stop by your place and see it."

"There still isn't much here, Dad," Sam replied. "Dean should be getting a Christmas bonus and then we are going to get more of the household stuff."

"I know we don't usually do much for Christmas, so let's call this a house-warming gift. What stores have what you need? I can get a gift certificate and help with your home."

"That would be awfully nice, Dad. We have a Target nearby."

"Okay," John replied. "I'll get that out to you then. Any plans for Christmas?"

"Just to give you a call and sleep in. Dean says he wants to sleep until noon. He's been getting up at 6:00 every morning for work, so I don't think he'll be able to sleep in until noon."

John laughed. "Probably not, but he is sure as hell going to give it his best shot."

"I know. That means I'll have the house to myself for awhile."

"So you guys are doing okay?"

"We're actually better than okay. I think Dean likes being domesticated for a change. He'll probably jump at the chance to hunt, though."

"Just let me know if I need to go."

"We will, Dad. Bye."

"Bye."

***

Dean came home from work and Sam had papers spread all over the living room floor. "Did one of your textbooks explode?" he asked as he set his lunchbox down.

"No, Dad found us a hunt."

"For real? Wow. I'd love to go on a hunt. What information do we have?"

"Come and look at it," Sam replied.

They poured over the documents, reports and each detail. It was two hours away, something they could do on a weekend. They decided to take it.

***

Packing for a hunt was routine, although a little rusty this time. When they got in the car, they couldn't remember if they'd locked the door. Sam had to run up to check. They never had to do that at a motel. Either those doors locked behind you automatically or there wasn't much to steal in them, anyhow.

They pulled into town, already knowing exactly where they needed to dig. Just after it started to turn dark, they went to work. They worked efficiently, dug the grave, opened the casket, doused it with gasoline and salt, and threw the match. They huddled together in the cold, watching the flames. They put the dirt back and checked into a local hotel. It had at least two stars more than any of the motels they'd stayed in.

They used all the towels getting cleaned up. They called down for more and a lady brought them up. Now that was service.

"What do you want to do?" Dean asked.

"From the look on your face, I'm thinking you'd like to hustle a little pool tonight."

"You know me so well," Dean smiled.

"That's fine. I'll bring a couple of my books and get a head start on next semester."

"Really?"

"Yeah, as long as they have something to eat, too."

"Well then, let's go," Dean grabbed the keys to the Impala and the hotel and was almost out the door before Sam got his shoes on.

Dean pulled the Impala at across the street from the bar. Sam grabbed one textbook and decided to leave the other in the car. He still needed to keep an eye on Dean in case he needed some backup while he hustled. "Let's go," Dean walked around the car and gave Sam a quick kiss. "Come on, honey. It's our first night out in a long time."

Dean was successful at pool. He got plenty of money out of three large good old boys. Sam had been ready to pounce but Dean handled them fine by himself. It was just a way that he had. Sam reread the first chapter and decided that class really could wait until he had to read it. He caught Dean's eye and waved his book. Dean nodded, knowing Sam was going out to get the other book.

Sam's mind was still boggled with that first chapter that he couldn't comprehend, so he never heard them approach. He was about to unlock the car when his face was smashed into the hood. "I want my money back," a very angry and possibly drunk voice demanded.

"I don't have your money," Sam thought he might be able to talk this one down.

"Then your boyfriend's gotta have it," a different deep voice said. "And he's refusing to give it back."

"I really don't have your money," Sam was figuring the odds with two of them.

"We could just take it out of you," a drunken accent threw his two bits in.

Three of them. He couldn't handle three of them on his own. Where was Dean?

***

Dean finished the game and looked for Sam. He wasn't where he'd been sitting and he hadn't waved when he got back in. "Shit!" Dean said as he threw on his coat and ran to the door.

He rounded the corner and saw the men whom he'd hustled earlier. Sam was pinned to the hood of the Impala.

The one with the drunken accent was yelling, "See? I told ya it'd be fun."

The second one with the deep voice replied as he zipped up, "Yeah, he was fun. Almost worth the money."

Those were the last words he'd speak that night. Dean came flying at him, full of fury, and landed some of the combat moves he'd practiced so much at his dad's insistence. The deep voice guy was down and out.

Dean turned quickly in time to catch the drunken accent guy coming toward him. It took more hits, but the guy was drunk and out of shape. He fell hard to the ground.

Dean slugged the guy still on Sam and pulled him away. Sam crumpled to the ground. Dean continued to strike the guy until he was down. Then, he kicked him a few times for good measure.

He knelt down by Sam, "Sammy, I'm here. You gotta help me get you up."

On some level, Sam heard him. His legs didn't want to work right and he felt something warm and sticky sliding down his legs.

Dean got the car unlocked and helped Sam in. Sam whimpered when he stepped into the car. Dean had to swallow the rage he felt. "Just a little further, Sammy," he kept his voice gentle. "I've got ya."

Dean took a blanket from the back and covered Sam with it. He wanted to just take him to the hotel and take care of him there. But, these weren't typical hunting wounds, and Sam was going to need more pain meds than what they had stashed.

Sam was still whimpering in the passenger seat. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you. I'm sorry that I'm taking you in to the emergency room. You might hate me for it, but I'm doing it because I love you. I don't know how to make sure that you're okay. I'll stay right by you, Sammy."

Dean pulled up to the emergency room and honked his horn. An orderly looked out and saw Sam slumped in the passenger seat. He grabbed a gurney and a nurse and ran out to the car. Dean was already by the passenger side. "You the nurse?" She nodded. "I'm only telling you this once. My partner was raped by three big guys in the bar parking lot. We haven't totally consummated our relationship yet, so I think he is in bad shape. I promised him that I would not leave him. I'll stay out of your way, but I'm not leaving." The nurse just nodded.

The sounds Sam made as the three of them tried to move him gently to the gurney made Dean's stomach churn. He took two steps away and puked. "You done?" the nurse asked. "Are you going to be able to handle this?"

"I have to," Dean replied as he wiped his mouth. "I love him."

***

Sam was wheeled into a room with lots of bright lights. A doctor came in and asked Dean who he was. "I'm his partner and I'm not leaving. I won't get in your way, but I'm not leaving." The doctor saw his determination and turned to Sam.

They pulled the blanket down, and even in his haze of pain, Sam reached for it. Dean took the hand he was reaching with and held it tight in his. "They are going to help you, Sam. I'm not leaving. I'm still here." The nurse started an IV in the arm that Dean was holding. Then, she gave him a stool so he could sit down. Dean opened his jacket and shirt and placed Sam's palm on his chest. "I'm here, Sammy. You're not alone."

They gave Sam something for the pain in his IV. Dean kept holding Sam's hand to his chest and whispering to him. When they had moved the blanket, Dean caught a glimpse of the damage that had been done. Sam was bare and bloody from his waist to his knees. They cut Sam's shirt off and Dean winced. His ribs did not look good.
Radiology was called in and the rest of Sam was covered before the tech entered the room. He took a couple x-rays and went off to develop them. The nurse grabbed some gauze and tried to clean some of the blood from Sam so they could see his wounds more clearly. The doctor whipped the curtain open, stepped in and immediately whipped it shut. Dean had paid close attention because he didn't want anyone to see Sam like this.

"Three cracked ribs," the doctor told him. "The police are here. Can you give them a statement?"

"If they can come in here and yet not see what you're doing down there."

"We can put a drape up," the nurse offered.

The officer came in and Dean had to explain all over again who he was to Sam. He described the three guys as best he could, gave him the name of the bar, and all of their contact information since they lived two hours away. The officer said he'd still need to talk to Sam when he woke up. Dean just asked him if he could be nice with his questioning. The officer nodded, "I have only worked on a few of these kind of cases, but I have a heart. I'm not going to traumatize him any more than he's already been." Dean felt slightly better at that.

Dean started to drift off on the stool. Sam's hand was still pressed to his chest, but Dean had quit his constant whispering when his throat started to hurt. The nurse offered to hold Sam's hand so that Dean could get some coffee. Dean thanked her but said he couldn't leave.

They took samples, sutured some rips, and cleaned Sam up as best they could. They wrapped his ribs with an Ace Bandage. Sam got combative when he was starting to wake up. He thought he was still fighting them off.
Sam opened his eyes and saw all the bright lights. "Dean?"

"Right here, Sammy," Dean still held his hand. "I haven't left your side since I found you."

"Those guys . . ." Sam got upset quickly.

"I know," Dean said softly. "I know what happened. That's why I brought you in."

Sam started to panic. "I can't be here. They're gonna want to see . . . We have to leave."

"Shh," Dean tried to soothe him. "They've already done what they needed to do. That's all done. An officer needs to get your statement. He already took mine. Are you ready to talk to him?"

"Do I have to?"

"I think if you talk to him, we'll get out of here faster."

Sam talked to the officer. He didn't have many details about the men. Most of his information had to do with their voices. He told them that since they felt swindled out of money at pool, the decided to take it out on him instead. They knew he and Dean were together. Dean's eyes started to sting with tears that he refused to cry when he heard it was his fault that this happened to Sam.

Dean called the hotel, explained that they were leaving the emergency room and needed to go home right away. The staff grabbed their bags, threw in the few items that they had unpacked, and were waiting at the door for him when he pulled up. Dean put the bags in the front since Sam had found a comfortable way to rest in the back. He had the painkillers and antibiotic ointment filled in the emergency room and he had the number to call for test results.

"Are you sure you want to drive two hours or should we stay at the hotel?" Dean had asked Sam as they were getting ready to leave the emergency room.

"Take me home, Dean. I want to go home."