Supernatural Fiction & Art

"I got the full-ride for law school," Sam was all smiles when he got back to the motel. "They were very understanding and said that if I just wanted to come back after Christmas break, I could re-take my classes then."

"Would that put you behind on classes?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, but I might be able to make up some of them in summer session," Sam replied. "There is just so much to do right now, I don't know if I'll be okay with the pressure."

"I will find us a place to stay and get a job," Dean told him. "You'll just need to worry about school. And you like school, right?"

"Yeah," Sam said quietly, "I do. But will you be happy working and not hunting?"

"Sure, I'll be chilling with my brother, dude. We'll have our own place, some wild times. It will be awesome." Dean smiled and clapped him on the back.

"If you're sure," Sam was a little hesitant.

"Yep, it's all settled then. I'll look for an apartment tomorrow and you'll head back to class."

"Dean, um, I don't have any books, or school supplies," Sam hated asking but he had to. "Can I borrow some money from you?"

"Just make a list of the usual stuff, and I'll grab that while you get the textbooks." Dean flipped out his wallet.

"Do you need cash or can you use a credit card?"

"Cash, I think," Sam replied and Dean nodded. "You'll need to stop the credit card scams, Dean. If we're going to live a typical life, that means no scams."

"Can I still hustle pool?"

"If you want, but you won't get much out of college students. We're all broke."

Dean nodded, "So we'll drive a little ways and then hustle. That's fine with me. Should we go get your school supplies?"

Sam and Dean left the motel and Sam was more like himself than he'd been since the fire.

They got into the bookstore and Sam started to panic. He didn't know if it was because he was on campus or because it was crowded, but he had a hard time breathing. He grabbed Dean's sleeve as he stopped walking. Dean came to a stop. "Sam?" Dean was clearly concerned. "Just breathe, Sammy. You're not alone. It's going to be fine. I'll go with you to get the textbooks, okay?" Sam nodded. "Just lead the way," Dean was putting Sam back into control and Sam was back to breathing.

Dean was so bored. Sam poured over the books, looking for the exact ones for his courses. He had to call some of his friends to check on the edition numbers. Drew also offered to copy his notes from the lectures so that Sam would have the notes from all the lectures, those he'd attended, and the ones that took place after Jessica's death.

Drew also knew some other students who would be willing to help Sam out. They were good note takers and willing to share. Sam hung up feeling that it might actually be okay. He was off to a good start. Dean stayed close by, bored out of his mind by the books that Sam read and needed to learn. Sam could tell by the look on his face that Dean was either trying to find a way to make a book into a weapon or picturing some woman naked. That was his two track mind--weapons and girls. His baby, the Impala, fit somewhere in there, too. Sam didn't know if Dean would count the Impala as a weapon since it was a tool of hunting or a woman because of how beautiful and precious it was to him.

Sam grabbed most of his books and they were on their way out of the bookstore when panic and sadness hit him again. He reached for Dean. Dean accessed the situation, but an arm around his shoulder and led him back to the Impala. “You alright?” Dean asked as he shut the driver’s side door.

Sam nodded as he breathed slowly. “There were too many people.”

“I might be wrong here,” Dean said, “but aren’t your classes going to be full of people, too?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you going to be able to make it?” Dean wasn’t questioning his dedication to school, he was concerned about Sam’s well-being.

“I’m sure as hell going to try,” Sam replied.

They got back to the motel and Sam started to sort through what supplies he needed for each class. He called Drew and he found the other notes that Sam would need. They were going to meet the next day, Saturday, for lunch, so Sam could pick up the notes.

“Sounds like you’re getting back into the groove of everything,” Dean commented as he turned the program down.

“I get bursts where I’m okay,” Sam replied, “and then something, anything reminds me of her and I hit a wall.”

“Is that what happened in the bookstore?”

“Kind of. I don’t know how to explain it.” Sam let out a huff.

“We’ll figure it out,” Dean told him. “It isn’t going to be easy, but we can do it.”

Sam nodded.

***

Night came and with it, Sam’s sadness. He was trying to figure out where he had left off in each book when, unannounced, tears started to fall. Sam tried wiping them off the pages, but more kept coming. It was a losing battle. He finally just marked the pages he'd found and put them away.

Dean watched Sam closely. He moved over to the table and put the books to the side. He put his hands on Sam’s forearms and moved them away from his head. Sam looked up at him and Dean’s heart broke. He could see it all in Sam’s eyes. The lost dreams, fragmented dreams where part of it could still happen, and the small person inside who was wondering if he dared dream again. He put his arms around Sam and Sam laid his head on Dean’s shoulder as he cried. Dean didn’t have anything to say to try to comfort him. He knew of nothing that could help and he doubted that his voice would work now anyway. He just stroked Sam’s hair as he held him.

***

“How do you think the boys are, Bobby?” John asked as he and Bobby sat on the rocking chairs on the porch.

“No way to tell,” Bobby answered. “You’d have to call them.”

John nodded, “You’re right, Bobby. Guess I’d better get my phone.”

“Hey,” Dean’s voice was sharp.

“Dean, how are you guys doing?” John noticed that Dean didn’t sound right.

“It’s not a good time right now, Dad,” Dean replied. “Sammy’s decided to stay in school and he got a full ride for law school at Stanford.”

“That sounds good,” John was confused. “What is going on?”

“Sam’s just upset, Dad.”

“Let me talk to him,” John sat up straighter, ready for the conversation that he had dreaded with Sam.

“Are ya sure?”

“Just put him on,”

“Dad?” Sam’s voice was shaky and he was sniffling.

“How are you holding up, Sam?” John rested his head in his hand, his mind picturing Sam broken almost beyond repair.

“I got a free ride to law school,” Sam tried to smile.

“I’m proud of you,” John chose his words carefully. “Is Dean going to be staying there with you?” John already knew the answer but he didn’t know what else to say.

“Yes. He’s going to look for an apartment and a job,” Sam tried to sound strong and then broke, “I miss her, Dad.”

“I know.”

“She was beautiful, and smart. She loved me.”

“I bet she did, Sam.”

“I wish you could have met her.”

“Me, too.” John said. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come to her funeral.”

“I didn’t go,” Sam told him. “I went to her prayer service and said my goodbyes. They had a casket for her when there was nothing left to bury.”

“I know, they did that with your mother, too. I still don’t understand why. It didn’t bring the closure that they said it would.”

“No. But I know she’s in a better place,” Sam said. “I miss her like hell, but I’m sure that she loves me. She’s in a better place now where she’ll be safe and out of the demon’s reach.”

“Are you up go going back to school, Sam?”

“I’m going to try. I’ll do my best with Dean here to help me.”

“You can always call me, too, you know. I promise to not let it go to voicemail as often as I used to. I thought I was just returning my calls when it was convenient. Now I realize that I was cutting you boys off from me. I won’t do that again.”

“That would be nice, Dad,” Sam yawned.

“Sleepy? You’d better get some rest. I just need to talk to Dean quick before I hang up.”

“Okay,” Sam started to hand the phone over.

“Sam!” he heard his dad when he was holding the phone mid-air.

He put it back up to his ear, “Yeah, Dad?”

“I love you, Sammy,” John choked out. “Don’t you ever forget that.”

“I love you, too, Dad,” Sam said awkwardly as he handed Dean the phone.

Dean had a bewildered look on his face. “Dad?”

“Dean, did you hide your weapons?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Does Sam really seem better today or was he just better during this phone call?”

“Today has been pretty good,” Dean admitted. “Can’t complain, anyway.”

“Okay. Call me if you need anything. You can always call Bobby if you can’t reach me.”

“I know, Dad.”

“Love you, Dean. Just thought you should know that.”

“I love you, too, Dad,” Dean hung up the phone wondering what had caused his dad to go for a chick flick moment with him and Sam.

***

“How is Sam?” Bobby asked.

“Better than before but he won’t be back to being Sam for awhile,” John answered.

“You did something wonderful today, John Winchester,” Bobby said as he started to rub John’s shoulders as he sat at the kitchen table.

“What’s that?”

“You told your boys that you loved them. You can never tell them that enough.”

John put one of his hands on top of Bobby’s. “I learned to mange my feelings better from you, Bobby. You took me in when I was a drill sergeant and somehow gave me back my heart.”

“I just taught you to listen to it more,” Bobby said. “It was all right there, you just needed a little reminder to listen to it every now and then.”

“Thank you for that.”

Sam laid down with Dean, which was becoming their usual. Dean and Sam were facing each other, but this time Sam held onto Dean's neck and buried his face in Dean's shoulder. Dean put an arm around Sam, holding him close. Sam had accomplished so much that day. It made him weary which made his grief worse. That why he clung to Dean like a lifeboat.

Dean needed to be needed. He'd always felt best when taking care of Sam. It didn't matter what age they were. If a bully teased Sam at school, Dean handled it and Sam's smile came back. When Sam got sick, he needed Dean.

For all his big talk, Dean was actually a very good nurse. His hands were gentle when he tended to Sam.

Dean fell asleep but Sam's sobs woke him. Sam was crying in his sleep. First he tried to wake Sam up, but Sam was in the throws of a nightmare that was not letting go. Dean started to rub his back and kiss his face. "Come on, Sammy. You've got to wake up." Dean gave him a little shake and that did it.

Sam's eyes flew open and he was face to face with Dean. "I--" Sam was trying to explain and he was so tired, confused and sweaty.

"You had a nightmare," Dean gently explained, playing with Sam's hair.

"It was more like a replay," Sam corrected him. They sat in silence for a minute before Sam asked, "Think they'll ever go away?"

"In time," Dean was pretty sure of his answer. "It takes time to get over what you've been through. It will happen, though. Don't worry."

"What am I supposed to do in the meantime? Quit sleeping all together?"

"Are they better when you are by me?" Dean asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, then you'll just have to stay by me," Dean said. "Problem solved."

Sam didn't think it could be solved that easily but Dean did have a point.

Sam's eyelids started to droop. Dean kissed his forehead and covered them back up. "Sweet dreams, Sammy,"

Dean said sadly, knowing those two words couldn't make it all better.

***

John and Bobby had fallen back into their old patterns of behavior when the boys weren't around. They were comfortable with each other. They sat on the couch side-by-side and touched each other in passing. A touch on a shoulder, back, or cheek reminded them that they had a companion and were loved. Not some big time storybook kind of love. It was a quiet reassuring feeling when it seemed the world was spinning out of control.

Bobby fell asleep during the program they were watching on television. His head was on John's shoulder. John just smiled down at him, thankful for him. When the program was over, John rustled Bobby’s hair. “It’s time for bed, Bobby.”

His eyes opened a little ways, “John?”

“Yeah, Bobby. Time to call it a day.”

“Okay,” Bobby started to stumble when he stood up. John steadied him.

“Better watch out, Old Man,” John chuckled. “Don’t want to go breaking a hip.”

“Don’t ‘old man’ me,” Bobby mumbled as he pushed past John to his room. John just followed Bobby whose footsteps weren’t quite straight and tried to silence his chuckle. That was Bobby for ya, feisty or grumpy, depending on the situation.

After he heard Bobby snoring, John rolled over. He curled his body around Bobby’s and put an arm around Bobby’s middle. His head rested a little above Bobby’s, and he could feel the texture of Bobby’s hair against the whiskers on his chin. For the time being, John wasn’t alone and neither was Bobby. It was a rest they took from their isolated way of living. Just enough time to find their faith in humanity, comfort in each other, and non-judgmental love from someone who understood.

***

Sam had another nightmare and Dean remembered his mental note that nights were going to be bad. Dean got Sam to wake up but couldn’t get him to stop crying. Dean brushed his hair back, talked to him softly and kissed his forehead and cheeks, trying to wake him gently. Then, Sam kissed Dean on the lips. “Sam, I’m not--” he didn’t get to finish his sentence.

Sam opened his eyes. “I know, Dean.” Sam kissed him again.

“You must still be asleep,” Dean commented. “Or else I am.”

“Nope,” Sam looked at him. “Is this okay?”

Dean didn’t know what to say. So, he just kissed him back, soft and slow. Soon, they had their arms around each other, caressing, kissing and almost out of breath. Dean paused and placed his forehead against Sam’s. “Are you okay, Sam?”

“Better than okay,” he replied before pressing his lips to Dean’s once more. “Are you okay?”

Dean had to think for a moment. “Yeah,” he said. “I think I am.”

They looked into each other's eyes, and seeing no hesitation, their lips met again. Kissing, licking, nipping, breathing in the breath of the other. Wanting to be yet closer, tongues meeting in mouth and in air. Heightened sensations and pure need fuelled them on. Dean broke away and started to move to Sam's ear and down his neck. Sam was making small sounds that Dean took as encouragement. He smiled against Sam's soft skin as he moved. Then it was back to Sam's lips, which were eager to have Dean's back.

Dean's hands were in Sam's hair, sloppily kissing him like he could never get enough. Sam had his hands behind Dean's head and neck, holding him to expose his sensitive skin to Sam's attentive mouth. Dean would deny it later, but Sam heard him moan, "Oh, Sammy," at least once. Sam hid his smile, not wanting to make Dean self-conscious. He kept that moan in his heart, as proof that Dean loved him and wanted him.

Dean felt Sammy’s kisses raining down on his, something he’d hoped for but never thought he’d actually feel. He got lost in the sensation and emotion as he clung to Sam with his fingers entwined in his hair.

Sam met Drew for lunch at one of their favorite hangouts by the campus. Drew had a large stack of papers. Sam groaned inwardly. He knew he should just be very thankful for the students who were willing to share their notes.

"Law school is a huge opportunity for you," Drew told him. "I'm glad that you decided to stay at school. No one deserves a ride through law school as much as you do."

"I still need to pass the classes," Sam said. "I don't think they are going to be very easy."

"You'll do fine."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you always do, Sam. Back in economics, even if you didn't have time to study for the test, you still aced it," Drew grinned.

"Yeah, but how long can luck like that last?"

They sat in silence until Drew spoke again. "Are you doing okay?"

"Me? Yeah. Why?"

"I didn't see you at Jessica's funeral," Drew said. "I needed to give you these notes but I also wanted to check in on you."

"I said my goodbyes at the prayer service," Sam looked down at his hands on the table. "Was it nice?"

"They had many flower arrangements. They even had roses."

"I wonder who sent those. She hated roses," Sam started to laugh. "The most popular flower to get a girl is roses and she hated 'em. It sure made it hard on me when it was time to pick out a gift."

"She was an original gal, Sam."

"She sure was," Sam cleared his throat. "Were her folks doing okay? Did they notice I wasn't there?"

"They seem to be the type to wear a mask and not let many feelings show."

"That they are," Sam agreed.

"Her mom started to cry when they lowered the casket," Drew told him. "Otherwise, they held it together pretty good. I didn't hear them asking anyone if you were there."

"I'd just hate for them to think that I didn't deem it important enough to go to," Sam explained. "Just the prayer service was hard for me. I didn't know how I would manage the funeral, too."

"That's understandable," Drew nodded. "Just remember to call if you need a friend."

"I will," Sam knew that he could call Drew but also knew that he wouldn't. He had Dean to talk to.

They finished their lunch and Drew asked, "So where are you living now?"

"In a motel. We're looking for an apartment."

"We--who?"

"Oh, he's a friend of mine from back home. He came up when he heard what happened and has decided to stay for awhile."

"I'm glad you won't be alone," Drew commented. "What's his name?"

"Dean."

"Okay. Give me your address when you and Dean get moved. Maybe we can try to get a Card Night arranged again with the guys."

"That'd be nice," Sam smiled, remembering how he sucked at cards.

"It's not like we play for real money, Sam. No one cares who wins or loses."

"That's because I'm always the loser," Sam laughed. "As long as the stakes don't go up, you can count me in. Can I still play with m&m's because of my lack of skills?"

"We'll have to see about that," Drew was laughing, too.

***

Dean flipped off the television when Sam walked in. “Hey, how was lunch?”

“It was good,” Sam smiled as he kicked the motel door shut. “How’s the housing search going?”

“I was just waiting for you,” Dean told him. “I’ve made three appointments to look at places and I wanted you to come with.”

Sam nodded as he set down his stack of papers. “When’s the first appointment?”

“We’ll need to leave in about an hour.”

“That will give me time to go through some of these and sort them out.”

“Holy crap,” Dean said as he walked over to the table. “Are those the notes Drew was talking about?”

Sam nodded. “He had to tell me how my full ride through law school was a great opportunity for me and that he was glad I didn’t quit school. He asked where I was going to live and I told him that we were getting a place.”

Dean shrugged.

“We need to talk, Dean,” Sam turned from his stack of paper.

“Ugh, Sam, come on. We do not.”

“Yes, we do.” Sam sat down on one bed and Dean joined him, reluctantly, wanting to be anywhere else. “I told Drew that you were a friend from back home.”

“Huh?” Dean looked at him.

“Do you remember last night, Dean?” Sam stared at Dean’s face until he saw the spark that showed he remembered. “We can’t be brothers and doing that.”

“You should have thought of that before you started it,” Dean was angry.

“No, I didn’t mean that,” Sam pulled Dean back down to the bed. “Others don’t need to know that we’re brothers, right?” Dean nodded. “Well, I never told anyone that I had a brother, so they should just accept you as my friend.”

“You never told anyone that I existed?” Dean was clearly hurt. “You sat up here at school and I just didn’t exist in your world anymore?”

“If I gave them any information about my past or me, they’d want more,” Sam explained. “That’s why I didn’t tell them about you. I didn’t forget you, Dean. Nothing could make me do that.” Sam pulled Dean into his arms.

“Nothing.”

“So what do we do about last night?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know. What do you think we should do?”

“It’s wrong, Sammy.”

“I know. But is it what you want?”

“You’re the one who just lost Jessica,” Dean stated. “Is a relationship with me what you want or what you’ll settle for to try to take away the pain? I won’t be used, Sam.”

“I hadn’t even thought of it that way, Dean,” Sam confessed. “I remember wanting you before I left for college, but I kept it to myself. I got here, met Jessica, thought that she could fill the hole you’d left. I was wrong and she didn’t. Yet, now that she’s gone, she left a hole of her own. It has nothing to do with what I’ve felt for you for years.”

“I guess that means we’re okay with last night and more nights like that.”

“Yeah,” Sam blushed. “You take such good care of me. I felt so close to you at that one moment, and I was sure that you felt it, too. Otherwise, I never would have had the nerve.”

“I’m glad you did,” Dean told him. “You gave me something I had been wanting for a long time.” Surprised,

Sam just looked at him. “What? You thought you were the only one who had feelings?”

“No,” Sam’s face was close to Dean’s. “I just didn’t know you had those feelings for me.” He kissed Dean softly. “I’m glad that you do.”

"I thought we were going to look at apartments," Sam said as he looked at the list for their appointments.

"I considered that," Dean replied while tying his boots. "But, for what we'd pay for rent, we could be making a house payment. I'd much rather have a house. How about you?"

"These don't look close to campus," Sam was still examining the list.

"They're not," Dean pulled his jeans leg down to cover the hooks on his boots. "I figured we could share the car. Depending on my hours for work and your classes, we could work something out. You could always use extra time at campus to study, right?"

Sam nodded. He might be able to study there easier than he could study around Dean. "Okay," Sam nodded. "But let's pick up a bus schedule on the way to the first house. It might be another way to get to and from campus."

"You are a brave man, Sam. Willing to sacrifice your self-worth to public transportation."

Sam rolled his eyes. "It's just an idea, Dean. A way to get to and from class without having to purchase a car and shell out for insurance, too."

Dean just nodded. "Ready to go?"

***

The first home needed too much work. Not that they were scared of work, they just didn't want to do that much to a place that looked so bad. Dean felt that there could be even more problems hidden under the first layer of what they'd need to fix.

The second house was too small. Granted, they had nothing for furniture, but it only had one bedroom.

The third one they liked immediately. It had a garage for Dean. Two bedrooms so Sam would have a quiet place to study. A yard with a privacy fence, and a front porch. It wasn't very wide, but it was there. That's the house they picked. They went home extremely happy.

***

"How did you get approved for a home loan?" Sam asked Dean.

"Bobby helped me falsify some records," Dean felt Sam's look and quickly added, "That's the last time I'll do it, I swear." One moment later. "Okay. I'll have to do some fudging of the facts on my resume if I want to get a job at a garage. But, that's it. No more scams after that."

Sam nodded. "I guessed it was going to take a couple of scams to allow us to be normal. Thanks for not doing more than necessary."

"Just thinking of you, Sam, like always," Dean chanced a look at him and Sam was smiling. He loved seeing that smile.

Sam was at the table and his large pile of notes was shoved to the side. “Whatcha writing?" Dean took a sip of his beer and moved to look over Sam's shoulder.

"Just some notes about the house before I forget them," Sam replied. "That second bedroom will make a good study for me to go my homework in."

"Why won't you do it in the living room or at the table like you do now?"

"Because I don't get much done is why," Sam replied.

"So, I won't get to see you at all after work? You'll just keep your nose buried in a book in a study?"

"No," Sam told him. "I need a study so that I can finish my homework quicker and have more quality time with you." He put an arm around Dean's waist.

"I like that idea," Dean took another swig of beer. "Are you ready to go back to class on Monday, Sam?"

Sam was quiet.

"It's Saturday, Sam. We've found a place to live. You know I can get a job. Are you going to be ready to go back to class in two days?"

"I'm nervous about going," Sam looked down at the table. "What if what happened in the bookstore happens again?"

"Let's see," Dean was trying to do some quick thinking. "You reached out to me and then you were fine."

"Yeah."

"How about if I lent you my silver ring to wear. Whenever you feel like you need to reach out for me, you can touch that and know that you're not alone."

"That might work."

"What else, Sam? Give me some ideas here. I don't have the answers."

"Can I take your leather jacket with me?" Sam asked quietly

"My coat? You want to take my coat?"

"You have the denim one you can wear," Sam explained. "I've just always known you to have that certain scent of leather on you. I could put it in my bag, it wouldn't get wrecked, I swear."

"My jacket would make you feel better."

"Well," Sam admitted. "That and the ring."

"Both?"

"Unless you want to come to school with me and be there when I need to reach out," Sam's eyes showed how vulnerable he was.

"You can borrow them, Sam," Dean kissed the top of his head. "Anything to make you feel better."

***

Late that night, as they laid there in the dark, Dean asked Sam, "So you were missing me when you hooked up with Jessica?"

"When I fell in love with Jessica," Sam corrected. "Don't make what I had with her sound cheap. I still love her. Just like how another part of me loves you."

"Jessica is gone," Dean told Sam, "but is there some other woman out there who is going to catch your eye and have you falling in love with her, too?"

"No. Because I'm not looking for that. I was looking for you when I found Jessica. I just didn't realize that it was you I was looking for until my relationship with Jessica was serious. By then, you hadn't contacted me in two years and I never thought that you might feel the same way towards me as I did for you."

"No other girl is getting my attention away from you, Sam. I just need to know if you feel the same."

"I do."

"I just needed to know," Dean whispered.

"Who hurt you, Dean?" Sam asked gently. "Who made you worry about people leaving? You are fine all on your own, you know."

"I've spent lots of time on my own. I didn't care for it. I'd rather not talk about who hurt me," Dean rolled away from Sam.

"Dean," Sam was leaning on his elbow as he curled up behind Dean. "I'm not leaving you." He tried to nudge Dean to turn back over. Dean didn't budge. That's when Sam saw the tears slipping down Dean's face and realized that Dean had his arms wrapped tightly around himself, like he was afraid that he would really fall apart.

"Dean," Sam whispered. "just let me hold you. You're not alone, either." Sam gave Dean another nudge and Dean rolled over and laid his head on Sam's shoulder. His hot tears kept coming and his body was shaking. Sam put an arm around him, rubbing his back and holding him close. "I need you to tell me one day," Sam told him. "I need to know because I want to help make that hurt go away. But I won't push."

Dean just laid there but Sam was sure that he'd heard.

***

Sam's screams jolted Dean from a troubled sleep. He shook Sam once while calling his name, and Sam's eyes flew open. "It was a nightmare," Dean had his face close to Sam's, he saw the confusion on his face as he slowly realized that it had been a dream.

"It was awful," Sam clung to Dean. "She was up on the ceiling and asking me why I let the demon get her, why I didn't warn her, why I didn't save her."

"It was just a dream, Sammy," Dean's voice was soft. "There was no way for you to know beforehand to warn her and there was no way you could save her. You did all you could, Sam."

"No, I didn't," Sam hid his face.

"What do you mean?" now it was Dean's turn to be confused.

"I had dreamed about the demon coming for Jessica," Sam explained. "I thought they were just dreams."

"You dreamed about her and the demon?"

"Yes,” Sam’s voice cracked. “I never told her because I wanted to believe it was just a dream. I didn’t want to get into me and my past, like I told you before.”

“It was still just a dream, Sam. It was an awful coincidence that the demon came,” Dean tried to get through to Sam. “You still couldn’t have known.”

“I could have told her about my past,” Sam’s voice was very quiet.

“Do you think she would have wanted to hear about you killing things that go bump in the night?” Dean asked. “I’ll never question the love you two had for each other. But do you think that is something she would have wanted to hear?”

“Probably not.”

“Did you do the best you could to love her, Sam?” Sam nodded. “Then, find comfort in that. You did the best you could. And, Jessica knew she was loved. Otherwise, she never would have stuck around.” Sam just clung to Dean. “Just get some rest, Sammy. I’m not going anywhere.” Dean held Sam close. Dean’s eyes were wide open, he wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon. He was going to watch over Sam.

Bobby was looking out his kitchen window, watching the sunrise. It was one of his favorite times of day, watching the world wake up. He so absorbed in what he was witnessing that he didn't hear John come into the kitchen. Then again, it could have been the fact that John was a hunter and knew how to move quietly. Either way, Bobby was startled when John wrapped his arms around him from behind.

"Hmm, that's a nice sight to wake up to," John rested his head on Bobby's shoulder. He smelled the coffee and took Bobby's mug from him. "Good coffee," he commented as he handed back the mug.

"I always make good coffee," Bobby relaxed into John's body. "There's more in the coffeepot, you know."

"Your mug always tastes better," John sighed.

They watched the light spread across the part of the world that they could see. They didn't talk or even move. They just leaned on each other and watched nature's beauty.

***

Sam woke up and Dean was already going through the paper. "What time is it?" he wiped the sleep from his eyes.

"Noon," Dean looked up from his reading. "I picked you up a coffee."

"Thanks," Sam stretched and then moved to get the coffee. He took a sip. "Why did you let me sleep so late?"

"You don't remember your nightmare?" Dean asked. "I think half the motel heard it."

"Sorry," Sam looked into his coffee.

"You don't need to be sorry, Sam. You just needed to get some extra sleep. That's why I didn't wake you."

Sam kept paying attention to his coffee. When he finally spoke, he asked, "Finding anything good?"

"There are a couple of garages hiring. I think that is a good sign. I can go apply tomorrow while you're at class."

Sam winced. Class. He'd forgotten about that. "Most of Jessica's friends are going to want to talk to me," Sam told Dean. "They'll need to tell me how sad and sorry they are to hear of her death. How am I supposed to respond to that?"

"Didn't most of her friends go to the prayer service?"

Sam shook his head.

"Gees, Sam. How popular are you?"

"Me? Not very. Jessica was, though. She had a way of lighting up a room or just having a few kind words to brighten someone's day."

"You could tell them that you aren't up to talking about your loss yet," Dean offered. "It isn't a lie. Be as polite as you can be but still draw the line when you need to be able to deflect the attention for your own sake. Look out for yourself, Sam. Even if it means you can't comfort those who come to you just for that reason."

"That's not how I am, Dean."

"I know that. You are very tenderhearted. Comforting others might take too much out of you. Just remember your limits, okay? I'm the only other person looking out for your best interests." Sam silently agreed. "I already put my jacket in your bag. Here's my ring." Sam felt embarrassed taking it. "We've already discussed it, and it is fine. Here. Take it." Sam took it and breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe tomorrow on campus wouldn't be as bad as he thought.

***

"That cursed car still giving you trouble?" John asked Bobby.

"Yeah," Bobby replied. "I'm beginning to think it is a lost cause."

"Want me to help you with it? I do know my way around an engine."

"Naw. It's nice having a few days off with you here. I can go back to work after you're gone."

"What if I planned on staying awhile?" John asked.

"Then I might have to work while you were here," Bobby said. "Are you planning on a longer stay?"

"I like it here. It's peaceful. I don't feel the demon's pull on me as much as when I'm on the road. Besides, I was getting the impression that you liked my company."

"I do, John. You are welcome to stay as long as you like. You know you always have a home here."

"Thanks, Bobby," John smiled.

***

"Do you have all the paperwork that you need for tomorrow?" Sam asked Dean.

"All the real estate papers? Yeah, I have them completed."

"I'm just surprised we could get a closing that fast."

"The house stood empty for awhile, Sam. They've had their end of the paperwork done since forever. All they need to do is fill in the date."

"When do we get to move in and ditch the motel?"

"I think we'll be moving in next weekend," Dean told him. "I'll push for the earliest closing date that I can. I'm damn tired of looking at the same four walls, too, ya know."

Sam just smiled. "Should we grab lunch?"

"Hell, yeah," Dean was in total agreement. "You read my mind. Let's go."

The walk back from the burger joint was a peaceful one. The air was getting cooler, but they had their jackets. They'd lived in places that had the four seasons, so California's weather wasn't going to bother them much. Sam surprised Dean by reaching for his hand. Dean quickly looked at Sam for any signs of distress, but Sam smiled,

"I'm fine," he told Dean as he laced their fingers together. "I'm just enjoying our walk."

"Me, too," Dean replied. They strolled past the motel and just enjoyed the fresh air. It was Sunday afternoon.

Not too many people were around and about. It was relaxing and a good way to spend a lazy afternoon.

They got back at the motel and Sam finished sorting his books and notes. He put the ones he'd need for the next day in his bag. He felt better about school when he saw Dean's jacket neatly folded in his bag. Sam felt that he was going to be okay. It was going to be his first day back at class, and he was going to make it through it.

***

"Sammy starts back at college tomorrow," John told Bobby as he propped himself up on an elbow in bed.

"Think he'll be okay?"

"He'll be fine, John," Bobby said as he finished shutting off the lights before getting to bed. "If he isn't, he has Dean right there and he has your number. He's left you messages before, so you know he'll call if he needs to."

"I still worry," John moved over to make room for Bobby.

"Of course you do. He's still your little boy," Bobby was mocking him slightly.

"Half the time you act like he's your kid, too," John grew defensive.

"I know. But, I don't worry as much as you," Bobby put his hand on John's cheek. "The boys will take care of each other, at least for now. You just need to take care of you."

"I have you to help me with that," John replied. "Just like I help take care of you."

"You got that right," Bobby said. "You Winchesters keep life interesting, that's for sure"

They laid down next to each other with Bobby's head on John's shoulder. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

***

Sam and Dean weren't sleeping, they were just lying in the dark. They wanted to sleep, but sleep wouldn't come. Sam was worried about school and Dean was worried about Sam. Dean rolled over and ran his fingers through Sam's long hair. "Why aren't you asleep?"

Sam shrugged. "Just thinking."

"About school?"

"Yeah."

"Well, school is still going to be there in the morning. You need to get your rest now so you're ready to go."

"I know," Sam agreed. He turned over on his side and kissed Dean softly. He nudged Dean and Dean laid back down on his back. Sam got comfortable, lying on his side, his limbs covering about half of Dean. "I just wish that I could stay here. Right here."

"This is nice, I won't disagree there," Dean whispered in the darkness. "But, you will always be able to come home to me, and this." Dean paused. "Unless you get to be much bigger because then I won't be able to breathe with your limbs flung all over me."

Sam smiled in Dean's neck," Sorry." He started to move his arms and legs from Dean.

"Don't do that," Dean said quickly. "I like having them there. It's like having a Sammy blanket."

Sam moved back to how he was. "Think you can sleep this way, Dean? Because I'm getting tired."

"I can handle it," Dean replied. "Just get some rest."

Sam snuggled in further and Dean squirmed a little until he was comfortable, too. Sam fell asleep first, aided by the comfort of being by Dean. Dean fell asleep to the feel of Sam's breaths on his neck. Knowing that Sam was safe and asleep, Dean was able to drift off.